Haircuts - A Short KN

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
Machus
Regular
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:58 pm
Completed: Haircuts, 99 Luftballons
Location: New York, NY
Contact:

Haircuts - A Short KN

#1 Post by Machus » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:30 pm

Description: My first KN. It's very short and (hopefully) sweet. Or cute at least.
It starts off at the start of summer vacation, after the protagonist's freshman year. It's a story about a fateful haircut where the protagonist meets his crush, Samantha.

Genre: Kinetic Novel, BxG

Rating: E for Everyone

Please let me know what you guys think about it!

Image

Image
Attachments
Haircuts-win32.zip
(12.47 MiB) Downloaded 1165 times
Haircuts-mac.zip
(15.28 MiB) Downloaded 1737 times
Haircuts-linux-x86.tar.bz2
(11.3 MiB) Downloaded 296 times
I'm available as a proofreader, just PM me. Thanks!

~Mau

User avatar
Megumi
Regular
Posts: 97
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:54 pm
Projects: Love Buffet
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#2 Post by Megumi » Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:54 pm

It's a little cliché but it's still cute. =)

Don't give up and keep trying--- I hope the next will be a full dating sim *winks*
La vie est un rêve, c'est le réveil qui nous tue.

Love Buffet

To read about (crackish) reviews for otome games, click here.

User avatar
Machus
Regular
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:58 pm
Completed: Haircuts, 99 Luftballons
Location: New York, NY
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#3 Post by Machus » Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:08 pm

Ah ha...dating sim?

I don't think I can code for THAT yet...maybe a regular ol' VN next.
I'm available as a proofreader, just PM me. Thanks!

~Mau

User avatar
Megumi
Regular
Posts: 97
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:54 pm
Projects: Love Buffet
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#4 Post by Megumi » Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:22 pm

XD Hey, the ending is the same. Do more, do better.

;=) Just keep going, boy.
La vie est un rêve, c'est le réveil qui nous tue.

Love Buffet

To read about (crackish) reviews for otome games, click here.

User avatar
salis
Regular
Posts: 56
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:28 pm
Projects: Too many~!
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#5 Post by salis » Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:57 pm

Congratulations on finishing your first KN! Haircuts was good! Simple, short, and sweet.

You’ve got a nice writing style, but there were a few typos in the game, so maybe next time ask someone to proofread your work. There’s always plenty of people here on the forums who’d love to help you out, so don’t be afraid to ask!

The music worked well with the story, especially when it changed after Samantha’s words. But I'd change the track again at the end, if I were you, since staying with the same sad, dramatic music for the rest of the story made the ending feel sad rather than happy. :(

The photo BGs were good too! But I would have really loved to have seen the inside of the barbershop when the main character entered, since seeing the outside while the main character got his haircut felt a little odd. But I know finding resources is hard, and it worked the way it did, but just a small suggestion to help immerse the player a bit more.

Overall, good job! Hope to see more games from you soon!
ImageImageImage
If you'd like to contact me, please email me at: sal.com@live.com

User avatar
Machus
Regular
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:58 pm
Completed: Haircuts, 99 Luftballons
Location: New York, NY
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#6 Post by Machus » Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:14 pm

salis wrote:Congratulations on finishing your first KN! Haircuts was good! Simple, short, and sweet.

You’ve got a nice writing style, but there were a few typos in the game, so maybe next time ask someone to proofread your work. There’s always plenty of people here on the forums who’d love to help you out, so don’t be afraid to ask!

The music worked well with the story, especially when it changed after Samantha’s words. But I'd change the track again at the end, if I were you, since staying with the same sad, dramatic music for the rest of the story made the ending feel sad rather than happy. :(

The photo BGs were good too! But I would have really loved to have seen the inside of the barbershop when the main character entered, since seeing the outside while the main character got his haircut felt a little odd. But I know finding resources is hard, and it worked the way it did, but just a small suggestion to help immerse the player a bit more.

Overall, good job! Hope to see more games from you soon!


Thanks for the input! Yeah, I did want to find an image for the inside of the barber shop, but I wasn't able to.
Making this was pretty fun, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I plan to make more sometime, starting as soon as I find a program to clean up and edit my drawings...and as soon as I get those drawings to look better. :D
I'm available as a proofreader, just PM me. Thanks!

~Mau

nelsonallan
Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:53 am
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#7 Post by nelsonallan » Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:59 am

Really it will be best fro haircuts.....................................................

one can easily get benefit with this.
Nelson Allan

User avatar
Machus
Regular
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:58 pm
Completed: Haircuts, 99 Luftballons
Location: New York, NY
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#8 Post by Machus » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:39 pm

I...don't quite understand.
I'm available as a proofreader, just PM me. Thanks!

~Mau

User avatar
Wright1000
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 629
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 10:20 am
Completed: Finding A Murderer, Memory Loss, Crime Investigation, Stay away from the graveyard, Last Day at School, Lonesome, Email, Hired Gun, Dusk, Hired Gun 2, Man-at-arms, Hired Gun 3, The Phantom Caller, Street Girl, Free love, The Story of Isabel Claudia
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#9 Post by Wright1000 » Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:00 am

It would have been a better game if there was character art.
He who doesn't care about the environment doesn't care about his grandchildren.

User avatar
Machus
Regular
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:58 pm
Completed: Haircuts, 99 Luftballons
Location: New York, NY
Contact:

Re: Haircuts - A Short KN

#10 Post by Machus » Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:31 pm

Yeah, I would've done character art if I could. Sadly, my skills are not quite up to par.

I'm trying to figure out how to use dolls, but it's not going so well.
I'm available as a proofreader, just PM me. Thanks!

~Mau

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], virszka