Reality Change V2

[risingdreams]

This is the second game I post, as well as the first project I finish as part of a team. I normally write otome games in western settings, but I decided writing a script set in a High School in Japan, for a change.

Somehow, it became a game about a sickly boy unsure wheter he’s dreaming or not. And (unlike I had intended), not a dating sim. There's no romance at all, to tell you the truth. It's mostly mystery.

Story:
As I said, the game is about a lonely (and slightly wimpish) boy named Ryoichi Goto. His health is so bad he stopped going to school. After meeting a mysterious girl, Ryoichi starts having very realistic dreams about him having a normal life. But it is a dream at all?

Numbers:
511 screens of dialogue.
8,754 words,
17.1 words per screen.
3 menus.
3 endings
I take it’s twenty minutes long.

Script - risingdreams
Coding/art - gundestiny
Beta - night_serenade
Music - http://www.rengoku-teien.com/ , http://agnello-pecora.chu.jp/CAMeLIA/index.html , http://bungakuseinen.com/music-original.html
Bgs - http://mao.sub.jp/

I hope you like playing just as much as we enjoyed creating it.

^____^ I would love some feedback, too.

[Suikama]

I liked the idea, although some parts seemed rushed compared to others, especially during alternate endings.

[risingdreams]

Errrr... I'll have this in mind in my next VNs. Thanks for the feedback.

[NatsukiDeath]

This story's mood is in major sorrow mode but yeah it fits the music and story ! rushed at some parts but it is well off for it to be a mystery in a way !

[risingdreams]

XD Haha, I kind of like writing (and reading) sad stories. I don't know why. It's probably the first thing I write I don't kill any character.

[Machus]

This was a pretty good VN.

I loved Ending 4 because, while it showed a happy ending, it felt a bit bittersweet due to the fact that he forgot all about his parallel life. I feel that more time spent in the other world would have strengthened this feeling.

[Lotus]

Not bad, I enjoyed it. ^^ I do have a suggestion though, try using a different font next time. I kept thinking the capital "I" was a "J", so I was reading sentences as "J should be used to it by now", which was really confusing at first.

[SusanTheCat]

YAY! I finally made it to May 13th! (Which is my birthday!)

I really enjoyed this game. I loved all the changes in facial expression!

Susan

[gundestiny]

I loved all the changes in facial expression!

Susan

I confess, I went a little overboard with all the expressions

[risingdreams]

Edited because I fail at life and only gave credit in the game's read-me, not in this thread. -___- Yes, I suck.

[Kimiko]

I really liked this game ^__^
The art is nice and the music fits ;D (Well, sometimes the long text passages were a little bit annoying, but I'm probably just too lazy to read... xD)

Well, first I got Ending 3, but there remained open questions, so I played it again and got Ending 4 ^__^ I really liked this one. But... which ending is actually the true ending?

@gundestiny Wow~ you did 24 sprites only for Natsuyo? Good job! xD

[number473]

The art was nice. The game lacked a bit of polish overall, especially the writing. On the menu, there were remnants of the glow around the writing when selected, which made it possible to clearly see the rectangular selection area.
I agree that it wasn't the best font to pick. It's not a bad font, but something more readable would be better - in general you don't want something so flashy for the dialogue.

The writing seemed a bit cut-and-paste between the various paths at times. This may have just been because I was confusing myself by replaying the game and skipping the parts that I had seen already, but some bits were unclear to me.

For example, I could have sworn he told the brother/sister about the alternate reality thing, but then later he hadn't told him a thing. Perhaps I should have gone back and checked my facts before posting here, though.

Also, at certain points I would have liked to have seen the events described, such as the mc relaying information to one of the other characters, actually occur as part of the dialogue, rather than just a line describing what happened. This (the way you did it) is more novel-like writing, rather than vn-like. I think you missed the opportunity of allowing the characters to interact in these cases. As a possible alternative, this might have been more appropriate if you had used nvl mode, but I think a slightly different approach to the writing would have yielded a better result.

Overall, the game was a pleasant read. Hope you find the critique useful.

[SusanTheCat]

For example, I could have sworn he told the brother/sister about the alternate reality thing, but then later he hadn't told him a thing. Perhaps I should have gone back and checked my facts before posting here, though.

Can you quote a spoiler?

I thought the same thing, but I tend to skip over large blocks of text while I'm reading.

Susan

[risingdreams]

He told his brother/sister about the dream, but not about Ayano's theory. I'm making things more clear, forgive me for the mix up. I might also add more dialogue...

Also, thanks for the feedback. I'll try to improve and avoid the large block texts of doom XD.

[risingdreams]

Added version with a minor change made.