Conventions?

[Thelo]

There were too many nasty or insensitive people who were all too quick to label me a problem when I got angry at how I was treated.

You don't need to go into details if you don't want to, but can you briefly explain what the original problem about how you were treated was? I'd hate to attend a convention and accidentally be a jerk myself through ignorance.

Edit: Actually, that's probably too personal of a question, feel free to ignore.

[silenteve]

California has tons of cons but I can't go to many of them because of money and location.
I do go to Sacanime though, at least once a year. It's hectic because all the fans show up and the venue is rather crowded.
My goal is to go to Fanime, Anime Expo, or ComiCon

[LeandroP]

The main issue about convention is that most people think their fandom/group is more important than the rest and they tend to treat you like garbage. That's why I try not to move from the stands with people I know and shops (which, they have to treat you decently if they want to sell stuff).

[Dollywitch]

There were too many nasty or insensitive people who were all too quick to label me a problem when I got angry at how I was treated.

You don't need to go into details if you don't want to, but can you briefly explain what the original problem about how you were treated was? I'd hate to attend a convention and accidentally be a jerk myself through ignorance.

Edit: Actually, that's probably too personal of a question, feel free to ignore.

People started talking about me behind my back, posting d0x and shit, since I had a bit of a reptuation online for acting like an aspie especially when I was younger. I started to get upset about it, and the big convention committee turned on me pretty quick, saying nasty things about me behind my back in the IRC. Ended up getting banned because I tried to draw attention to it and was refused any kind of apology for ages. This resulted in a lot of other fallouts with people as I became very depressed, I also ended up banned from the other big con forum(conveniently enough, by a guy who's known to be an ass and comes from the first con I mentioned originally).

They will not remove the ban either under any circumstances even when my councillor emailed them trying to explain my social difficulties, etc. and how everything caused me to have a serious violent panic attack(someone had to call the Police to pick me up). They just don't give a toss, instead of protecting me as a marginalised person, they punished me.

I had one link in the con scene, someone who would listen to me and be my advocate in the con scene. I had a rocky relationship with her for a while, but worked hard to build up a connection and became quite close. She started getting pretty arrogant with me all of a sudden one day, she had plenty of time for problems other people caused me, but not if she or her friends were the cause. Somehow I let it slide, but then I have another panic attack and start to feel suicidal. Not having many people I can call, I try to call her, but can't speak. After this she defriends me and doesn't talk to me forever. I totally bluescreened at this, it was so weird, she didn't block me on facebook no matter how much I messaged her but wouldn't talk to me either. Eventually she did block me, though.

I will never forgive her.

She knew full well how I'd react to that and she didn't care. Some of the nasty transphobic bullshit I've had to put up with is particularly jarring, but nothing hurt me more than being let down by her like that. It's been more than a month and I still can't pull myself fully out of it. Because of my condition, when bad things happen, especially when I'm put in a situation I can't control, I get stuck in a loop and can't think of anything else. I make sure to let everyone know exactly how much trouble I have coping, they don't care, and act like they have some kind of moral highground against me when I get upset with people. They're all so rotten.

I fell out with the local anime soc crowd too, or "fell out" is the wrong word, more like had all of them defriend me when I said nothing bad to them at all.

There comes a point where someone suffers far more than is reasonable because of stupid bullshit, and you should stop trying to blame all their problems on them and actually knock it off. But this doesn't happen. Nobody stands up for me. Nothing. None of my "friends" care.

So sick of it. I've just spent the last few months wanting to cry. I hate feeling powerless and looking weak, but I hate not being able to vent either. That's what's the most aggravating about the con scene, people's issues must be shoved under the carpet at all costs, nothing gets resolved, it's all done to maintain the status quo of privilege for the shallowly nice. It only matters that it looks friendly, and people being depressed apparently doesn't.

It's one of the few opportunities I have to make friends and maybe find a girlfriend some day, but very little has made me feel as truly alone and powerless as this con scene. All over some Chinese Cartoons.

[Thelo]

Damn, that's some pretty heavy stuff. It sounds like it was more about a long series of interpersonal problems rather than one big specific blunder, or anything specific to the concept of conventions.

I can only hope things turn out better for you in the future. <3

[sake-bento]

There are some cons that are notorious for having a terrible staff response to things like these, especially bigger ones. I have several friends who have given up on the con scene or particular cons because of how they've been treated.

On the flipside, some conventions have been absolutely wonderful to attendees who are normally marginalized. I've found the best way to gauge a con's atmosphere is to check out the general mood on the forums, especially the actions of the moderators.

[CassieHolloway]

I go to Youmacon which is now in the ren cen in Detroit and cobo arena. It outgrew itself. I couldn't go last year but I am already planning my costume for this year. A original character of mine.

The first time I went was 3 years ago... And i got so lost. My friends couldn;t find me for like 4-6 hours in the mass of bodies. Still I love conventions too much to avoid them for long. Meeting so many interesting people is cool.

However I do agree that some fandom loving people think they are elite. I really I hate crap.

[silenteve]

At the con I went to, there was this panel I went into for Kuroshitsuji. At first, it was kind of awkward because no one wanted to speak up and ask any questions, but eventually things got rolling and it started getting fun.

RIGHT in the middle of the panel, for some reason, the people cosplaying the main characters (Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell mostly) began to take over the panel, COMPLETELY ignoring their friends that were cosplaying the side characters. They went on and on about their virtual romances and it just became painful to watch as the other characters sat back and looked very ignored. I left around there and just decided to stay away from fan-made panels.

That day was the worst day of the con. Some vendor guy lied to me about the prices and then I see him selling the another person the very same thing for a lot less.
I went to the con with my friend, who I was intent to spend the con with. However, she decides to hang out with her more radical anime friends and completely ditched me as I waited in line for the Masquerade for 2 hours! We're best friends, and she decides to ditch me for her horny (oh my GOD, they were so horny!) friends! She doesn't even come back and I find out that they went to hang out at Costco together and ended up going home without telling me.

I hate the local anime crowd. I have nothing against very vocal anime fans. I have EVERYTHING against the radical fans that copy all the Japanese sayings, poses; They glomp people, they yell that you lose the game (I don't give a crap about the game!), they scream about their fandom across to other people, they argue when someone doesn't love their fandom; They make a scene, they're inconsiderate, and they just don't fucking know when to stop yelling, or fondling, or being insane! I don't care what you talk like on the internet, please don't bring that shit out in real life and start telling me "that awkward moment" or shit like that...

The reason I go back to the cons are because of the voice actors, the lovely staff that are awfully helpful, the maid cafe, shopping, free stuff, and the very humble artists in the artist alley. They're almost enough to keep me coming back. But the people that flock to these places just....ARGH!

I'm still friends with that girl, but I know now not to depend on her and only myself. Besides, I've already figured out the con so I won't need her around, just in case she decides to ditch me again.

[Katon]

At the con I went to, there was this panel I went into for Kuroshitsuji. At first, it was kind of awkward because no one wanted to speak up and ask any questions, but eventually things got rolling and it started getting fun.

RIGHT in the middle of the panel, for some reason, the people cosplaying the main characters (Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell mostly) began to take over the panel, COMPLETELY ignoring their friends that were cosplaying the side characters. They went on and on about their virtual romances and it just became painful to watch as the other characters sat back and looked very ignored. I left around there and just decided to stay away from fan-made panels.

That day was the worst day of the con. Some vendor guy lied to me about the prices and then I see him selling the another person the very same thing for a lot less.
I went to the con with my friend, who I was intent to spend the con with. However, she decides to hang out with her more radical anime friends and completely ditched me as I waited in line for the Masquerade for 2 hours! We're best friends, and she decides to ditch me for her horny (oh my GOD, they were so horny!) friends! She doesn't even come back and I find out that they went to hang out at Costco together and ended up going home without telling me.

I hate the local anime crowd. I have nothing against very vocal anime fans. I have EVERYTHING against the radical fans that copy all the Japanese sayings, poses; They glomp people, they yell that you lose the game (I don't give a crap about the game!), they scream about their fandom across to other people, they argue when someone doesn't love their fandom; They make a scene, they're inconsiderate, and they just don't fucking know when to stop yelling, or fondling, or being insane! I don't care what you talk like on the internet, please don't bring that shit out in real life and start telling me "that awkward moment" or shit like that...

The reason I go back to the cons are because of the voice actors, the lovely staff that are awfully helpful, the maid cafe, shopping, free stuff, and the very humble artists in the artist alley. They're almost enough to keep me coming back. But the people that flock to these places just....ARGH!

I'm still friends with that girl, but I know now not to depend on her and only myself. Besides, I've already figured out the con so I won't need her around, just in case she decides to ditch me again.

I feel ya there buddy :\

A few years ago i went to go to the AnimeExpo with two friends of mine and they were kind enough to drive me there. But when we got there they completely ditched within the first two minutes we entered...!

I did meet up with them later and it was okay, but when it was time to go back home, they just left me there at the con and I had to call my parents to pick me up. Urgh..

The worst part was that when I finally got back home they were on MySpace and had the nerve to message things to me like "Ohhh wasn't that sooo much fun?!!" Like they completely forgot that they ditched me. -Sighs-...

[silenteve]

At the con I went to, there was this panel I went into for Kuroshitsuji. At first, it was kind of awkward because no one wanted to speak up and ask any questions, but eventually things got rolling and it started getting fun.

RIGHT in the middle of the panel, for some reason, the people cosplaying the main characters (Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell mostly) began to take over the panel, COMPLETELY ignoring their friends that were cosplaying the side characters. They went on and on about their virtual romances and it just became painful to watch as the other characters sat back and looked very ignored. I left around there and just decided to stay away from fan-made panels.

That day was the worst day of the con. Some vendor guy lied to me about the prices and then I see him selling the another person the very same thing for a lot less.
I went to the con with my friend, who I was intent to spend the con with. However, she decides to hang out with her more radical anime friends and completely ditched me as I waited in line for the Masquerade for 2 hours! We're best friends, and she decides to ditch me for her horny (oh my GOD, they were so horny!) friends! She doesn't even come back and I find out that they went to hang out at Costco together and ended up going home without telling me.

I hate the local anime crowd. I have nothing against very vocal anime fans. I have EVERYTHING against the radical fans that copy all the Japanese sayings, poses; They glomp people, they yell that you lose the game (I don't give a crap about the game!), they scream about their fandom across to other people, they argue when someone doesn't love their fandom; They make a scene, they're inconsiderate, and they just don't fucking know when to stop yelling, or fondling, or being insane! I don't care what you talk like on the internet, please don't bring that shit out in real life and start telling me "that awkward moment" or shit like that...

The reason I go back to the cons are because of the voice actors, the lovely staff that are awfully helpful, the maid cafe, shopping, free stuff, and the very humble artists in the artist alley. They're almost enough to keep me coming back. But the people that flock to these places just....ARGH!

I'm still friends with that girl, but I know now not to depend on her and only myself. Besides, I've already figured out the con so I won't need her around, just in case she decides to ditch me again.

I feel ya there buddy :\

A few years ago i went to go to the AnimeExpo with two friends of mine and they were kind enough to drive me there. But when we got there they completely ditched within the first two minutes we entered...!

I did meet up with them later and it was okay, but when it was time to go back home, they just left me there at the con and I had to call my parents to pick me up. Urgh..

The worst part was that when I finally got back home they were on MySpace and had the nerve to message things to me like "Ohhh wasn't that sooo much fun?!!" Like they completely forgot that they ditched me. -Sighs-...

Ahaha, my friend did the same to me, except on Facebook. She was telling me all the fun things she did with her friends.
I'm like, am I not your friend? Why didn't you do things with me?
Of course I didn't say that but I really wanted to.
I found out, though, that they had ditched one of their friends there in the middle of the night during the Anime Rave and he got in trouble for not getting home on time and having to be picked up by his parents. I feel for that guy...

[Katon]

At the con I went to, there was this panel I went into for Kuroshitsuji. At first, it was kind of awkward because no one wanted to speak up and ask any questions, but eventually things got rolling and it started getting fun.

RIGHT in the middle of the panel, for some reason, the people cosplaying the main characters (Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell mostly) began to take over the panel, COMPLETELY ignoring their friends that were cosplaying the side characters. They went on and on about their virtual romances and it just became painful to watch as the other characters sat back and looked very ignored. I left around there and just decided to stay away from fan-made panels.

That day was the worst day of the con. Some vendor guy lied to me about the prices and then I see him selling the another person the very same thing for a lot less.
I went to the con with my friend, who I was intent to spend the con with. However, she decides to hang out with her more radical anime friends and completely ditched me as I waited in line for the Masquerade for 2 hours! We're best friends, and she decides to ditch me for her horny (oh my GOD, they were so horny!) friends! She doesn't even come back and I find out that they went to hang out at Costco together and ended up going home without telling me.

I hate the local anime crowd. I have nothing against very vocal anime fans. I have EVERYTHING against the radical fans that copy all the Japanese sayings, poses; They glomp people, they yell that you lose the game (I don't give a crap about the game!), they scream about their fandom across to other people, they argue when someone doesn't love their fandom; They make a scene, they're inconsiderate, and they just don't fucking know when to stop yelling, or fondling, or being insane! I don't care what you talk like on the internet, please don't bring that shit out in real life and start telling me "that awkward moment" or shit like that...

The reason I go back to the cons are because of the voice actors, the lovely staff that are awfully helpful, the maid cafe, shopping, free stuff, and the very humble artists in the artist alley. They're almost enough to keep me coming back. But the people that flock to these places just....ARGH!

I'm still friends with that girl, but I know now not to depend on her and only myself. Besides, I've already figured out the con so I won't need her around, just in case she decides to ditch me again.

I feel ya there buddy :\

A few years ago i went to go to the AnimeExpo with two friends of mine and they were kind enough to drive me there. But when we got there they completely ditched within the first two minutes we entered...!

I did meet up with them later and it was okay, but when it was time to go back home, they just left me there at the con and I had to call my parents to pick me up. Urgh..

The worst part was that when I finally got back home they were on MySpace and had the nerve to message things to me like "Ohhh wasn't that sooo much fun?!!" Like they completely forgot that they ditched me. -Sighs-...

Ahaha, my friend did the same to me, except on Facebook. She was telling me all the fun things she did with her friends.
I'm like, am I not your friend? Why didn't you do things with me?
Of course I didn't say that but I really wanted to.
I found out, though, that they had ditched one of their friends there in the middle of the night during the Anime Rave and he got in trouble for not getting home on time and having to be picked up by his parents. I feel for that guy...

Hurray for being ditched buddies.! ( <=sarcasm )

Yeah seriously, it sucks.

Dang, poor guy.

[akizakura]

I hope it's OK to post in this thread still.

My first con was Otakon and I went for a few years in a row, but the heat, the thick crowds of people, and the downright overwhelming nature of it all were a bit much. I did go with the same friend a few years in a row, but she's much more outgoing than I. I took a break for a year in 2010 and also didn't go to NYCC that year either. I was debating about 2011 when my 14-year-old cousin asked me to take her. I was a little nervous about the whole thing and sat down with her parents, showed them cosplay photos, explained the con, and they were all for it.

We only went on Saturday, but it was by far my favorite Otakon.

She loved every second of it and we just kinda took our time checking everything out instead of adhering to an insanely tight schedule of panels and such. We even took a break and hung out in the Inner Harbor. I think I'll definitely go again next year even if she can't make it. I think the more relaxed schedule and freedom to come and go really made a difference. So if you're on the fence about cons, maybe just try one for a day and see how it goes?

[Anthy]

I'm going up to Fanime again with a friend this year. It's going to be sooooooo much fun, dressing up and hanging out, meeting up with online friends, going to Johnny Rocket's... Of course, I'd never have to worry about being ditched. That could suck if it did happen. But random people just walk up to you and start conversations without having to hide interests, especially if they recognize your cosplay (if you do). It's pretty cool.

Plus, the coolest thing is when you're wearing an obscure cosplay and you meet another fan. Last year someone recognized my Haruka 4 cosplay and it made my weekend~

Conventions are always more fun to go to with a relaxed mindset though.