Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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Sapphi
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#226 Post by Sapphi »

Dollywitch wrote: my chest is starting to hurt again
Aww... I'm sorry...
I think it's too easy for people to write others off and say terrible things to them (and about them) over the internet when they can't see their faces or deal with the consequences of their actions. They don't see your scars or the tears you're crying or the dark circles under your eyes because you can't sleep, they just see what you write and make assumptions. It's easy to forget there are soft, warm living beings behind the data.

I know I was reminded to try and not be snarky to random people on the internet after I read that Sayaka-chan passed away. I'm not usually snarky but when I saw that, I thought, "My gosh, what if I made a rude comment to someone here and the next day they were gone?" I hope more people will think of it too...
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#227 Post by Obscura »

Gosh, judging from this I think local rate means you get charged the local (or lowest) rate if you are calling from anywhere in the UK.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/in ... 735AAMOPXz

I think minicoms are text-enabled phones for people with hearing impairments.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#228 Post by Dollywitch »

im not sure whati t would be for a moible

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#229 Post by Dollywitch »

i seem to hav elost my voice but i'm reading the aritcles.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#230 Post by Tetiel »

Okay, so you've made it to your bed. Is it safe to assume that your contact with this person was through the internet? If so, after you're done reading this I want you to shut off your laptop for at least a few hours. You need time away from what is causing you stress. Hopefully this will help.

I've suffered from panic disorder from the past as well and I don't think what's going on is a full blown panic attack. You're having a huge amount of anxiety, yes, but it doesn't sound like it's run its course yet, which is good. Having been through quite a few myself, you wouldn't be able to type. You need to be determined to control your body. It is yours and it will obey you if you concentrate hard and shut everything else out. A panic attack is an irrational response which is deeply ingrained within our bodies from back in the days when we had predators after us. You're having something horrible happen to you so all of this adrenaline is being pumped into your system. It's usually the fight or flight response, but what's going on with you is that you're freezing in place. You're like a deer in headlights and you can't release that built up emotion. It's causing you to suffer greatly which is causing you to want to die. It's absolutely terrifying. I understand. Thankfully, this is temporary and I assure you it WILL go away. Believe that it will and that you will be okay.

What you need to do is lie down on your bed and allow yourself to relax. It will be difficult but you need to try to breathe evenly. Beginning with your outer limbs like your toes and fingers, you need to let all of that tension built up go away. Let your limbs go limp. Right now you won't be able to recognize what it feels like to be relaxed so in each step flex the muscles in that part of your body and release. You'll start to realize that you are clenching everything right now. Just flex and relax. Go through your fingers, toes to your feet and hands. Slowly up your arms and legs. Each time, flex and release. Breathe in and out evenly. Push everything out of your mind and concentrate completely on your muscles. Flex and release your eyes, your mouth, your forehead, your neck, down into your abdomen. Let your shoulders release the energy. Flex your stomach muscles and relax and finally your chest. Let the stress inside you leak out. This will help you get to sleep. You'll soon realize that you are tired. If you need to talk to yourself through this process, that's okay, too. Your body recognizes your voice and it will help you get through this.

Just stay relaxed and try to sleep. You will feel better once you wake up. Your body will go to work breaking down the excess hormones causing you so much grief. If you're still struggling to relax, talk outloud to yourself. Tell yourself that you will be okay. Make yourself believe it. The terrifying thing about a panic attack is that you don't have control. This will help you get it back. It's helped me get through a few bad attacks and I hope it helps you. If you do need someone to talk to that's been through this, please just let me know, okay? Also, do make sure that you keep us updated when you feel better. Some of us are quite concerned and we DO care and understand.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#231 Post by Dollywitch »

it's several people on the internet and some I know in real life. as well as my parents. that are causing this.

i'm not having a full blown panic attack. but i do still feel somewhat suicidal. not like i'll do anything right now, but in general, without hope for continuing my life. that's often what i mean when i say I feel suicidal, however i do become very unstable so there is a more immediate risk of harm too.

unfortunatley i can't pull myself away from this. I have an ASD and I have an extreme obsession/compulsion. when things like this happen I can think of nothing else. nothing else. for hours. i'm trying to sleep now. it's 7 in the morning. i can't get ,my mind off it because any distraction would seem empty.

also one problem is that this person is active;ly trying to get people to defriend me now. i kind of want to stay up so i have a chance to plead my case with people before that happens.

trust me they feel nothing over this. they wre true monsters.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#232 Post by Tetiel »

Dollywitch wrote:it's several people on the internet and some I know in real life. as well as my parents. that are causing this.

i'm not having a full blown panic attack. but i do still feel somewhat suicidal. not like i'll do anything right now, but in general, without hope for continuing my life. that's often what i mean when i say I feel suicidal, however i do become very unstable so there is a more immediate risk of harm too.

unfortunatley i can't pull myself away from this. I have an ASD and I have an extreme obsession/compulsion. when things like this happen I can think of nothing else. nothing else. for hours. i'm trying to sleep now. it's 7 in the morning. i can't get ,my mind off it because any distraction would seem empty.
I do understand that. I've been there myself. You may not believe that you can pull yourself away, but you need to at least try. I have OCD myself and it has been a huge struggle to change my compulsions. I used to lie awake every night and recall awful memories, things where I said something to hurt someone else or something humiliating. Every time it would feel like a slap in the face. I would literally recoil in my bed. It's hard, it is SO HARD to get away, but please try. Don't give up on yourself so easily. You can do this. You just need to force yourself to believe that you can.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#233 Post by Dollywitch »

my mums up and responding to facebook posts. i guess it was mostly my dad i had the fiht with. but i sitll doj't want to ring jher. plus my dad always gives out to me for strssing her out because she had cancer and we're worried about it coming back. but i have a condition triggerd by stress that can also kill me

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#234 Post by Tetiel »

Dollywitch wrote:my mums up and responding to facebook posts. i guess it was mostly my dad i had the fiht with. but i sitll doj't want to ring jher. plus my dad always gives out to me for strssing her out because she had cancer and we're worried about it coming back. but i have a condition triggerd by stress that can also kill me
My dad had lymphoma. I know that guilt. I was yelled at when my dad brought me to the clinic when I had a severe kidney infection, like I was purposefully trying to expose him to illness when his immune system was down. I also got yelled at when I was 10 when my grandmother got extremely sick after she was taking care of me when my parents were on vacation. You can't let that get to you (unreasonable, of course it will get to you, but you've got to try). What's going on is they're projecting their OWN worries and stress onto you because it's easier. She's in remission, right? If her cancer comes back, it won't be because she's helping her daughter get over a bad situation. Don't let anyone tell you differently because that's bullshit. Pardon the swearing, but I strongly feel the situation calls for it.

As far as the illness goes, that's why you need to try hard to control your stress levels. I have a condition called gastroparesis which causes me to be unable to digest food when I get too high of a level of anxiety. Nausea, constant vomiting, heartburn, being unable to eat... It's not as bad as an autoimmune, but I do understand what it feels like to have this ticking time bomb waiting for you to get out of control. You need to start recognizing what's going on with your body and stop it before it gets to this point. There are always outside forces that will try make you worse, but you need to fight back. That's the only way that you'll get better.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#235 Post by Dollywitch »

i have just been told tjhis person has no intention of apologising. ever. and this eperson is supported my others. all to fthose people should learn some fuckng same.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#236 Post by Tetiel »

Dollywitch wrote:i have just been told tjhis person has no intention of apologising. ever. and this eperson is supported my others. all to fthose people should learn some fuckng same.
I'm glad you're showing anger over anxiety now. That's good and therapeutic, believe it or not. Anger is a healthy reaction to this situation. The best attitude that you can have right now is a big "**** you" to pretty much everyone involved. :) I don't know the exact details to what led up to this, but I'm pretty certain that's a fair response.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#237 Post by Dollywitch »

Serious comment I just got right now from someone who read this thread.
I don't like you, Dolly. I'll be honest and say that. Wasn't fond of you when I saw you on the feminist thread, didn't like you when you wrote essays on a daily basis on the forum. Greatly disliked, when I noticed you wrote in every single conversation, essay, and comment about how unfair it is or how this is making you sick. You need to grow up, Dolly. Some people can be old and not matured. I think you're one of those people. So grow up or grow cold. But don't blame people for what they do. Blame YOURSELF for being weak.
Okay, so if you're suicidal or marginalised, it's your fault. everyone should aspire to be cold. so many suicidal people blame themselves for plenty already.

this is just so fucked up. why do people get to be like this but just for standing up to people i lose friends.

people like this are abusive. what's worse is how people like this keep going on about how mature they supposedly are, when in reality they're just cold assholes.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#238 Post by Dollywitch »

I think I feel a bit better now.

still can't sleep though. got too hot.

the above quote is still driving me crazy too. it's basically describing the concept of victim blaming and trying to sell it to me. they should know from my presence in the "feminist thread" iit's a bad idea.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#239 Post by Auro-Cyanide »

Dollywitch wrote:I think I feel a bit better now.

still can't sleep though. got too hot.

the above quote is still driving me crazy too. it's basically describing the concept of victim blaming and trying to sell it to me. they should know from my presence in the "feminist thread" iit's a bad idea.
Report them for harrasment and move on. Stuff like that is unnecessary baggage.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#240 Post by Taleweaver »

I've been at odds with you as well, Dollywitch, on the same feminist issues that this other guy is currently dissing you on. But I don't have to like you to feel sympathy for you - which I honestly, sincerely do.

The internet is a strange place. It's full of interesting people, many of which are willing to make friends easily and happily join up with others who share their interests. It has a few people with genuine troubles who are hoping to find help among sympathetic minds, and unfortunately, it also has a good share of people who are in there to get the attention they believe isn't given to them in real life. It's also full of people who find entertainment in making others look ridiculous - your typical trolls. And the trolls tend not to discriminate between people with real problems and attention seekers and treat everyone with the same spite.

The problem is that there is no good solution to this. The internet really isn't a good place to go to looking for help - in my experience, the ratio of trolls to helpful people is 10:1. The best thing I can do is to tell you to ignore the trolls, cover your head as good as you can and wait for the assault to end while you do your best to keep in touch with the people you like. For help, try to find it offline. There's really not much we can do here that professionals couldn't do better.
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