Get that thing off your chest... Now...

[Nimuell]

My two cents on the matter.
People who are overweight can't be judged so easily, because the problem can have many causes.
It can be hereditary, some people are more prone to being fat that others. That's fact. That is related to how our energy cycles are efficient or inefficient. For example I don't gain weight because my energy cycles are inefficient and when nutrients transform into energy a lot of that energy goes to waste. People who have efficient cycles tend to store that excess of energy in a form of fat. Balance can be found, but that's more difficult that it sounds.
Weight can be gained due to many diseases and disorders - diabetes, hormonal, etc.
Losing weight in those cases can be real challenge, it's a big medical problem, because in 90% of treated cases the weight returns and with some additional + pounds within a year.

Sorry if that sounded off. I'm not that good with conveying my med knowledge into English, I forgot every term I ever used to know.

[LateWhiteRabbit]

I have sympathy for the disabled who need those, absolutely, but people who get in them because they're so fat it hurts to walk? I just can't muster the sympathy. To get to the point where your weight is causing your disabilities is just crazy to me.

You have no idea why these people became fat in the first place. And once you have these extra pounds and have gotten used to living with them, losing them becomes frikkin impossible.

Me, I was normal until the age of 11. Then, between 12 and 17, I became heavier and heavier. This correllates to my years in school, where I was bullied daily for being a nerd in a class of jocks, preps and "generally cool people". I tried to fit in, it didn't work out, and I ate my depressions into myself, quite literally so. Then, at the age of 17, I started to write and stopped caring. That was when I stopped gaining weight, until I tried to lose some, when the yo-yo effect of dieting slowly brought me from 270 lbs to 330 lbs. I stopped dieting when I was 27; ever since then, my weight has been stable. Unhealthily high, but stable.

No idea why other fat people are fat, but I guess most will tell you similar stories.

Yeah, the math is pretty scary. If all you do is eat 100 calories a day you don't burn, you'll gain 12 pounds a year. (That's the equivalent of 1 Oreo cookie a day. Or 1 slice of whole grain bread. Or 1 egg.) Subtle weight gain, just a pound a month, so little you won't notice it at first. But over several years, it can all add up to a problem. This is what generally happens to people in middle age. They didn't just "get out of shape", it was a long, slow slide to those extra pounds. And a lot of people run into issues with metabolism or life style, where they have been used to eating a certain way and being fine, then something changes and they keep eating the same way and the weight starts to accumulate.

I went from 185 pounds when I left for bootcamp, to 155 pounds when I graduated bootcamp, to 195 pounds when I left the Marines 4 years later. And that's with exercising in a military environment on a regular basis.

I don't begrudge anyone their weight, because I've seen examples of how different everyone's body is. Some of my friends could eat an entire buffet and not gain a pound. Eat a whole pizza by themselves every night and see nothing happen to their waistline. I've seen others where a single week of eating out makes their pants not fit. It's hard for my skinny friends to believe how easy it is for our other friends to get fat, because they are going by their own experience, and yes, it would take them eating out an entire bakery or something to get fat themselves, so they think our fat friends must be constantly stuffing their faces, when in reality, the fat friends are often eating less than they are.

Medically, look at what overweight people have to go through to lose weight:
1. To support your body weight, you must consume a certain number of calories a day. For overweight people, this can be thousands more calories than you or I. If they DON'T eat that many calories a day, their body starts sending them ravenous hunger signals.
2. They are often too heavy to exercise without damaging their bodies or injuring themselves. So they have to lose weight before they can even begin to exercise, which means months of the ravenous hunger signals everyday.
3. After they've lost the weight, they have to be extra careful, more so than normal weight people who've been that way all their lives, because their body will want to "yo-yo" now. Their body will TRY to put the weight back on them by storing more calories than normal.

Combine all three of those, and it is a little easier to see how those poor individuals on scooters gave up somewhere along the way or failed.

And sorry you feel it's impossible, because i have seen similar stories...in weight loss forums, every other week, from people who have lost 100-200 lbs by sticking to a diet and exercise for years.

Yes. That's what it takes. And how many normal weight people are able to stick to a exercise plan for years? I'd agree it's not impossible, but I've done enough exercising and work out regimens over the years to know what kind of commitment they take. Knowing it is possible for people to lose weight doesn't give us anymore right to make discriminate against those that haven't.

[Applegate]

The moral of the story is not to judge people by their appearance, but by their character and actions. Everyone has a reason to look the way they do or to be the way they are.

[Arelune]

The moral of the story is not to judge people by their appearance, but by their character and actions. Everyone has a reason to look the way they do or to be the way they are.

^ :3
And doesn't only count for weight.
This also includes yourself. So what if you have a big nose? It's not like you've chosen it.

[Deji]

I have an obese friend who has tried to get into shape, but he's just... not motivated enough. His issues are just too big for him to care.
It's more sad than upsetting, really. His friends and family, we're afraid one day he'll just get a heart attack and die in his apartment all alone ):

When I come across obese people, I often find myself wondering what may have happened to them in their life to get to that state ):

[izukwon]

Talking about obese people? I have this female friend who once weigh around 190 pounds (she's short like, 5'?), I didn't know what happened, but after disappearing for a little while, she showed up entirely new. She's no longer that fat bucky, just normal (normal but leans to fat, but still slimmer than ever). When I asked her what happened, she said, "I didn't get along with my boyfriend, maybe I'm a bit stressed out."
Care to try her method?

[DeeKay]

Hmm... All in all, I agree with what everyone's saying about appearances.

I remember someone in middle school being a bit chubby but nothing alarming, still most people would leave him alone. I've never been one to dismiss people so I befriended him like any other person. Afterwards, the others would befriend him as well but I had to take the initiative for them to show up...

This reminds me of a fun fact : when he invited me and some friends over for his birthday, his mother told mine he liked me very much and I was a role model to him. Dang that's embarrassing ! ^^'''
Funny thing is, one of my best friends told me the same thing. I don't think I should be elevated to that level, I just act the way I think is right.

Maybe I'm too kind but seeing people being left out because of their differences doesn't register in my brain, especially if they feel bad as a result. It shouldn't be that way, they shouldn't be victims to people who aren't even trying to accept them as they are.

Anyway, everyone has their own circumstances so you shouldn't make assumptions based on looks only. Interesting people come in lots of flavors after all

[Aedin]

I've also come to realize that I'd rather be NOT hit on, because they're almost always weirdos/jerks. Forever Alone sounds almost like a blessing, rather than a curse.

I am perfectly okay with being alone in life. As long as I have at least one friend who cares about me, I'll be okay. I mean, I'd prefer to have more than one friend, but that's all I need.

Maybe it's the people I've dated, but I have no interest in romance whatsoever. I do consider myself anti romance. Not love. You can love without involving romance, and viceversa. Love is the emotion, romance is the actions. I've always preferred being alone/single. Part of that stems from my childhood, I think. For eight years, starting in elementary school, I was severely depressed. I had no friends whatsoever. No one outside of my family cared for me. Kids at school used me to help fixed their relationships and then abandoned me until they messed things up again. I was suicidal for five years.

Anyhow, I have a very low image of myself, sort of. I respect myself highly, and I am proud of who I am. I just...don't understand why others like me. It confuses me enormously. Previous boyfriends dated me for my car because they were both bums who smoked pot all day. And it didn't help that my last girlfriend is a crazy, attention seeking child. She's almost twenty and has the maturity of a thirteen-year-old. She would run off and sulk when we were together with friends, and when I went to check on her would tell me to go away. Later, when it was just the two of us, she would scream at me about how I didn't go after her and stop her from cutting herself. Dating her ruined every friendship I had at the point and it is the only thing I truly ever regret doing. Even know, she keeps trying to start shit in my life, so I've given up on her.

Tl;dr, my past relationships vastly changed my views on love and romance and have made me the antiromantic person I am today. Yay?

I really need to stop wanting what I can't have and just focus on what I need to do. orz

I'm trying to do that too. Careeeeeeeerr!
Ugh. Jobs. No one will hire me because I don't have work experience. I can't get work experience unless people hire me.
Wonderful system we have here.

[Tetiel]

Let's keep in mind that not everybody that LOOKS obese is obese. You know those guys who have the Jack Black or John Belushi build? Yeah, my husband's in that shape. Someone made the comment that he was the "fattest" out of his group of friends and we looked at each other and were like uhh.. no. He has extremely thick bones as well as muscle. He literally cannot fit through most doorways if he doesn't slouch to pull his shoulders in. It's pretty funny, actually. Does he have some fat? Absolutely, but not as much as it appears. Why does he have fat? Because he likes to eat and he has a mother who makes really tasty baked goods. I gained a lot from that too over Christmas lol. Mmmm butter tarts...

Which brings me to my next point... the intents are all well and good, but it may actually be insulting to some to imply that people are obese because they have had a traumatic past. Are things more difficult in our culture to those who are obese? Damn right they are, but I don't think anyone should be making that type of... stereotype. Everyone will have their own reasons they are the way they are and will react to it differently. There's no point in contemplating their past because for the most part, you'll be wrong. Instead, let them tell you who they are through their words and actions.

...I don't know, I imagine I'd be insulted, anyways. It's outright saying there's something wrong with not just your body, but your head. Maybe I'm wrong. Just putting it out there as something to think about.

[Deji]

Which brings me to my next point... the intents are all well and good, but it may actually be insulting to some to imply that people are obese because they have had a traumatic past. Are things more difficult in our culture to those who are obese? Damn right they are, but I don't think anyone should be making that type of... stereotype. Everyone will have their own reasons they are the way they are and will react to it differently. There's no point in contemplating their past because for the most part, you'll be wrong. Instead, let them tell you who they are through their words and actions.

...I don't know, I imagine I'd be insulted, anyways. It's outright saying there's something wrong with not just your body, but your head. Maybe I'm wrong. Just putting it out there as something to think about.

I understand your point. Maybe it's my personal experience with obese and near obese people, that they usually have issues (not necessarily traumatic, though! ) that ended up in them not caring about their bodily health.
In the end, we all have or have had "issues" that have shaped us, physically and mentally.

That being said, I don't approach obese people with pity or anything of the sort! I approach the like I approach any other person (why wouldn't I?), and with the natural curiosity to understand why they are/look different than me.

[DeeKay]

Instead, let them tell you who they are through their words and actions.

This, this, this !

...I don't know, I imagine I'd be insulted, anyways. It's outright saying there's something wrong with not just your body, but your head. Maybe I'm wrong. Just putting it out there as something to think about.

No no, that's understandable, it's not wrong at all !

In the end, we all have or have had "issues" that have shaped us, physically and mentally.

Yes, we are defined by our different experiences ! That's part of what makes the world interesting in a way, no ?

That being said, I don't approach obese people with pity or anything of the sort! I approach the like I approach any other person (why wouldn't I?)

Exactly ! In general, why would you treat someone completely different than others based on their looks ? It's one thing to have your own view but you need to think out of the box and be more open minded !

[papillon]

You have no idea why these people became fat in the first place. And once you have these extra pounds and have gotten used to living with them, losing them becomes frikkin impossible..

Because they ate more than they worked off. (unless they had a thyroid condition or something else that seriously hinders weight loss) And sorry you feel it's impossible, because i have seen similar stories...in weight loss forums, every other week, from people who have lost 100-200 lbs by sticking to a diet and exercise for years.

And how many of those posters are shilling for a particular product?

In general, the long-term studies show that almost ANY weight loss program works. For the short-term. Follow people for multiple years and the majority of them will have regained all the weight lost, even if they stuck to the diet plan. Because the human body ADAPTS. The body is not a simple equation with all the factors clear and precise and neatly balanced.

This is also exactly why anyone selling a diet product does a study for about six months and publishes those results. Because for six months? No matter what they're doing, it'll probably work. The diet industry is huge huge business. Post a question in the Diet section of Yahoo answers and you will quickly be overwhelmed with the hordes of people eager to offer their Tried And Tested method of fixing all your problems.

Worse, following all these crazy Tried And Tested diets can lead you to yo-yo your weight, gaining a whole new set of health problems (changing your weight a lot puts a lot of stress on your system, gallbladder especially) and almost certainly gaining MORE weight than you originally had. And then there's the handful of diets that literally kill people. For most people it is really a lot more effective for their long-term health to focus on fitness goals, not weight goals. Even many skinny people are quite unfit and would benefit a lot from improving their exercise regime.

But coming back around to disabled fat people - have you ever spoken to any of them, or just put your assumptions on them? Because every single one I've ever spoken to or even had second-degree connection to (I know someone who knows them) have health problems that led them to that state. They were NOT just "eating more than they worked off".

[Faze]

You have no idea why these people became fat in the first place. And once you have these extra pounds and have gotten used to living with them, losing them becomes frikkin impossible..

Because they ate more than they worked off. (unless they had a thyroid condition or something else that seriously hinders weight loss) And sorry you feel it's impossible, because i have seen similar stories...in weight loss forums, every other week, from people who have lost 100-200 lbs by sticking to a diet and exercise for years.

And how many of those posters are shilling for a particular product?

In general, the long-term studies show that almost ANY weight loss program works. For the short-term. Follow people for multiple years and the majority of them will have regained all the weight lost, even if they stuck to the diet plan. Because the human body ADAPTS. The body is not a simple equation with all the factors clear and precise and neatly balanced.

This is also exactly why anyone selling a diet product does a study for about six months and publishes those results. Because for six months? No matter what they're doing, it'll probably work. The diet industry is huge huge business. Post a question in the Diet section of Yahoo answers and you will quickly be overwhelmed with the hordes of people eager to offer their Tried And Tested method of fixing all your problems.

Worse, following all these crazy Tried And Tested diets can lead you to yo-yo your weight, gaining a whole new set of health problems (changing your weight a lot puts a lot of stress on your system, gallbladder especially) and almost certainly gaining MORE weight than you originally had. And then there's the handful of diets that literally kill people. For most people it is really a lot more effective for their long-term health to focus on fitness goals, not weight goals. Even many skinny people are quite unfit and would benefit a lot from improving their exercise regime.

But coming back around to disabled fat people - have you ever spoken to any of them, or just put your assumptions on them? Because every single one I've ever spoken to or even had second-degree connection to (I know someone who knows them) have health problems that led them to that state. They were NOT just "eating more than they worked off".

I'm not sure if I'm understanding you correctly, so if I'm misunderstanding you I apologize in advance. But are you saying you can't lose weight permanently?

Because while studies show that if you lose weight through crash dieting or even saner diets you'll gain your weight back very quickly, they also show that you can lose weight permanently with exercise in addition to better nutrition. Crazy diets are awful and only work short term, but saying that you can't lose weight permanently is...wrong. If you start to simply starve yourself to death then yes, you will eventually get fat again. But simply eating some more balanced foods and adding some exercise on top of it will change your body. I agree that diets and diet products don't work and are awfully dangerous, but lifestyle changes can work pretty well because you can also adapt your body to functioning like that.

And it bothers me because I think that when people say that you can't stop being fat it causes some people to give up on losing weight.

For example, Cracked recently(okay, not so recently) ran an article that says that people always return to their original weight. A friend who's being trying to lose weight mentioned it to me and how it depressed him. I had to spend a good hour explaining to him that the article was badly cited and basically neglecting to say a lot of things. For example, the Cracked article cites news articles that cite things that...don't even agree with the study they are mentioning. They try to make the whole thing look a lot more black and white than it is by misrepresenting their findings. Crash diets are dangerous and don't work for longer than a few months, but Christ that's not the only way to lose weight.

It just drives me insane when people say you can't permanently lose weight because I know that discourages people from trying to be healthier, and that's a bit depressing.

Also I'd like to restate that some of those diets are terrifying when you look at how they work. Seriously, Atkins works like a goddamn villain from a Saturday Morning Cartoon.

[Razz]

Yeah there's a reason 'lifestyle changes' is constantly thrown around in weight loss communities, because that's what it is, it's an uphill battle for the rest of your life by making conscious efforts to eat less than what you burn. You don't just get there and stay that way forever, and i can see why people believe this is the case, because there's actually a stigma attached to skinny people admitting they work hard for that body.

And yeah I see that article cited sometimes on weight loss forums (not yahoo answers, which gives you bad info for any topic lol) and it really makes me mad for reasons you said, it's a crappy inaccurate article designed to get hits.

Anyways i'm off this topic since i feel what i'm saying is being read into or twisted too much...

----------------

Decided to make a yaoi game! I've been saying i'm gonna make one for years and years now but never did, so i'm tired of just saying it. Just gonna sit down and do it for nanowrimo.

...i'll probably be finding out it's easier said than done though. @_@

[TrickWithAKnife]

Obese people are obese for different reasons.
I used to be very fit, ate 5 large meals per day, and snacked
The rest of the time.
But about 6 months after coming to Japan I became very sick. Sick enough to be life threatening, and was hospitalised for a while. I lost about 5kg in the hospital, partly because I literally did not eat. I was on an IV drip to replace food.
But after I got out of hospital, I gained 1kg per month. The weight gain stopped, but I'm 15kg heavier than when I first came to Japan.
I eat healthy food, exercise at home, and joined a boxing club.
When people say "you should stop eating bad food", it really annoys me.

I understand though, it's easy to make presumptions about why someone is overweight.
I'm guilty of thinking things like that too.
I'm just saying, be a bit tactful.