Questions about Ren'Py should go in the Ren'Py Questions and Announcements forum.
- Ren'Py Creator
- Posts: 15557
- Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 10:58 am
- Completed: Moonlight Walks
- Projects: Ren'Py
- IRC Nick: renpytom
- Github: renpytom
- itch: renpytom
- Location: Kings Park, NY
(When was the last time you backed up your game?)
"Silly and fun things are important." - Elon Musk
Software > Drama • https://www.patreon.com/renpytom
- Hentai Poofter
- Posts: 2117
- Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:13 pm
- Organization: Studio Mugenjohncel
- Location: Philippines
Also, I have a bunch of betacams and other professional (but obsolete) video recording and editing equipment that I need to get rid off because they consume a whole room and they belong to a chapter of my life that seems like a lifetime away and is something that I'd rather leave behind
Edit: I'll try and sell them online and see how long will it take before someone snags it away from me
1 Philippine Peso for scale (yes, they are HUGE)... I have about 450 of these Betacams still waiting warmly for a new owner with most of them still unused in their original shrink wrapping. I'm selling em' cheap too... Php 600 only!!!
- Lemma-Class Veteran
- Posts: 2299
- Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:50 pm
- Completed: Icebound, Selenon Rising Ep. 1-2
- Projects: Selenon Rising Ep. 3-4
- Organization: Fastermind Games
- Deviantart: sundownkid
- Location: NYC
It seems like you are thinking that you will never be good at anything simply because you are bad at them now. If you've ever heard the expression "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again", I think it's applicable to your situation. Writing a novel isn't hard, and having it sell well is just a question of determination and writing more. Learning to draw takes practice, not natural skill. So does programming, it's not like you are born with the ability or inability to learn them. So, go out and practice the stuff if you want to get better rather than thinking that since you're not good at drawing now, you never will be.bluecake wrote:I had the dreams in me. I wanted to write a bestselling novel, I wanted to be able to draw a bleeping figure, I wanted to understand programming, I wanted to become the ultimate guitar hero outside the video game consoles and I wanted all of them to come true. Then I realized they had no chance of coming true because I was—and am—just that bad, I’m not a protagonist in a coming-of-age story, nor do I have that ‘It’ factor representing something special or even something about me.
- Posts: 341
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:33 pm
- Organization: no, I'm pretty messy
- Location: New York
You could work at a Poison Center. It's the one place I've been where people don't ask "why" when you're researching ways to die, because you can actually really help other people not die. (I haven't been suicidal in many years, but I still feel like I'd want to know how to do it anyway. You aren't alone in that.) (I also happen to find toxicology fascinating, but that's just me.)bluecake wrote:Every weekend when I was alone I would take at least an hour and research ways to die.
I always lacked the "lifelong dream" some people seem to have. I'm 32 and I STILL don't know "what I want to do" in life; I'm interested in a lot of things. But I've been succeeding at leading an enjoyable life. I have ambitions, but I don't think there's any need to have a Hollywood-style dream. Most of those will fail, like you've said... BUT that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to succeed or that you are "a failure."bluecake wrote:because it'll fail and I know I won't succeed if I go the 'chasing your dream and living the Hollywood picture' route because they rarely come true and the ones that do are made by the people who have motivation—another thing I lack.
And things like only knowing three classical pieces after four years of guitar? I took piano lessons for 10 years and can only really play one classical piece sufficiently (with the sheet music). I didn't practice as much as I could've, and I was much more interested in playing rock songs and the like. I've got some strengths in playing, but plenty of weaknesses. If anyone tells me "You can't even play 4/4 to the metronome, LOL" I will say, "Sure, you're better than me... and this affects me how?" If I wanted to be a great pianist, well, I would need to be practicing a LOT more. Though it would be cool, I don't posses that type of motivation. So... *shrug* I do other things for a living now, such as programming. Believe me, I pale in comparison to some programmers I know, but over the years I have become good in my niche. I've spent fewer years programming than piano, but wayyyy more time.
I did use money I earned programming to buy a nice electronic piano, though. <3 No regrets.
In any case, it sounds to me like you don't want to die per se; you want to live -- just not in constant suffering.
I got terribly depressed when I was a teen, and I tried to get help but had a lot of false starts. (My guidance counselors... not helpful. School psychologist... a little bit helpful, but not great. First therapist in college... ugh. Therapist during the first summer I was home from college... better than nothing. Next therapist in college... CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER FOREVER ZOMG.) I resisted meds until senior year of college. First med... gained 35 pounds, caused certain... private dysfunctions... and on top of that, didn't work. Ugh. It was years before I felt compelled to try a second med, but... JACKPOT! It's had some side effects, but they have never been nearly as bad as that first med, and it's been so worth it!
There are no guarantees in life, so all I can say is that you are not alone, and that this may not be forever! There's certainly a limit to what a bunch of strangers online can tell you, but... There IS hope.
Keep in mind that it doesn't have to be Ye Epic Visual Novel. And if you find it enjoyable to start... well, nothing wrong with starting it. Even if it feels unlikely that you will finish it, it can be worthwhile. It can be fun, you can learn from it, and you may very well finish it, even if it's years from now. However... if anime and Japanese and Chinese is what keeps you going right now, do that! There was a spring back in college where I felt like staring at intricate anime artwork (and focusing on that present moment, that one enjoyable thing) was all that kept me going... but my emotions did not stay that limited forever!bluecake wrote:All I know is I don’t know what to do now or what I even want to do. Starting that visual novel I had in mind seems like a stretch.
- Posts: 426
- Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 2:11 pm
- Projects: 9413
- Organization: 2wo dollars
- Location: That itch on your back!
- Posts: 229
- Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:56 am
- Projects: One Moment in Summer(GxB/Supernatural)
- Location: Okayama,Japan(hiding under the table)
- Eileen-Class Veteran
- Posts: 1261
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:38 am
- Projects: Rika
- Organization: Solo (for now)
- IRC Nick: Trick
- Location: Tokyo, Japan
If you'd like to view or use any code from my VN PM me. All code is freely available without restriction, but also without warranty or (much) support.
I do not care about what anyone says. I do not care that he is my father. I do not care that he is related to me by blood. I do not care that the Bible tells me to respect and honor my parents.
I refuse to accept him. I refuse to talk to him. I refuse to even try to listen to him. I refuse anything that has to do with him.
Someone so disrespectful and low-classed is not someone I need. I am ashamed of him. He doesn't deserve anything.
He is not my father. My father is dead.
Please, treat me with kindness.
And know you see the true value of the moe art style: no noses!DaFool wrote:I just spent the whole day drawing an event CG that looks like crap, so I'm gonna scrap it. All because of a stupid nose that just doesn't look right. And why do I have to keep choosing odd angles that makes things hard to draw? Next time I'm only going to be using 0, 45, 90 degrees!
TL;DR V2! Get Ready!!blurcake wrote: I had the dreams in me. I wanted to write a bestselling novel, I wanted to be able to draw a bleeping figure, I wanted to understand programming, I wanted to become the ultimate guitar hero outside the video game consoles and I wanted all of them to come true. Then I realized they had no chance of coming true because I was—and am—just that bad, I’m not a protagonist in a coming-of-age story, nor do I have that ‘It’ factor representing something special or even something about me.
Alright Miss Dramatica, Mission Cleared! You've got my attention.
Ya know, I've sometimes felt like that; always being the support or side character, never "winning the big one" or whatever.
No, the "made it big in Hollywood" story doesn't often come true, but that doesn't mean you just give up. If you truely believe your book ideas are good, then keep going, no matter what anyone else says.
Dreams don't just come true, you have to MAKE them come true. Sometimes it takes, days, weeks, even years but it can still happen. There are tons of stories where people who started with little to nothing came out on top at the end... and then even then, probably still came back down after a while. I know there are lots of indegame developers that had this happen.
I wanna make the most awesome video game and I have the ideas of how it'd work (Well I THINK I do) but I'm not good at programming... I've tried a NUMBER of times to do it, but it's just not for me. I'd really like to make a game though... so I turned to VNs. I figured I'd start with that. I'm not an amazing writer, but I figure I can at least come up with something.
I want to make a fun slice of life anime/manga... but WAIT I'm not good at drawing... yes I've tried. I suppose if I keep working at it, I can get pretty good, but it's just not my thing... so I turned to 3D graphics. I'm not perfect at that either, but I still have something I can work on.
Even after saying that though, if you work hard at something and don't give up regardless of how long it takes, you'll et good enough at it to do what you want. You won't be PERFECT... but o one's perfect so forget about that. It just has to be good enough.
And lastly, just so ya know, you are a part of a Coming-Of-Age story... it's called YOUR LIFE.
So I'll end this with a quote from a rhythm game called DJ Max "You need more practice. Never give it up!" Oh and just so you know, even when you get really good, that phrase will STILL apply.
OMG There's DLC to this post!!
Well sometimes looking at the big picture can be hard. So break it down into tiny goals.And then bluecake wrote:All I know is I don’t know what to do now or what I even want to do. Starting that visual novel I had in mind seems like a stretch.
goal 1: START
goal 2: Write basic plot of story
goal 3: Do your best to draw the characters or if you know an artist, see if they can help with some rough concepts.
I'll leave it at that for the moment. Looking at one huge goal can be daunting, so breaking it down into a few little, easier to obtain goals is what you do. This goes for EVERYTHING you said you wanted to do. I've been playing piano for a while now and unless I sit and practice for a GOOD amount of time, ANY classical piece I play is going to have a TON of mistakes in them.
As said before, You Need More Practice! Never Give It Up!
We ALL need more practice, so don't fret. [insert really lame guitar pun here]
- Miko-Class Veteran
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:57 pm
- Completed: Mnemonic Devices, Ciikos Bridge, Helena's Flowers, The Madness
- Projects: Fox in the Hollyhocks
- Organization: skyharborr
- itch: skyharborr
Users browsing this forum: No registered users