Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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Didules
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3331 Post by Didules » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:28 pm

redeyesblackpanda wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I got my 10th choice when leaving high school, but things turned out well from there. In the end, it didn't really make any difference, I met new people and had fun. So, while things might not seem good, they're probably better than you think.
Thank you, I do feel a bit better now, moreover the seconds results are going to be displayed on the 27th of June, so I'll see how it goes! In the end, I don't think I should complain or anything, I mean, I still got my 5th choice which isn't even that bad, I'm sorry ^^" As long as I'm happy later, I don't have to think about this kind of thing, and since I'm the kind of people that would be happy anywhere... XD
Thank you!

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Deji
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3332 Post by Deji » Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:00 pm

Rant ahead~

Yesterday I was with my bf discussing some stuff abount a really-in-the-backburner VN/RPG hybrid thing I'm planning with a group of people...
And he started being a bit of a jerk about it.

He knows a lot about RPGs (I value his opinion a lot), but he's part of that annoying mindset of "if you're going to do it, do it perfect or do nothing at all", while I'm more of the school of "better do *something*, even if not remotely perfect, that not doing anything at all".
So he kept insisting on things I don't want to tackle because that'd mean more time, resources and people, while this would be just a little project mainly to satisfy myself and my friends... so the idea is to have a limited scope, so we're able to finish it.

And he just kept bashing the games me and my friends like and that we're using as inspiration as being things that are bad, boring and that nobody plays, and that we should do something else if we want to make things "right".
I kept arguing we like them and that should be good enough.
I personally like casual things, that don't make me thing too hard about what I'm doing. I like that kind of rather mindless entertainment, myself, while he enjoys strategy and stuff. And he started saying that my game designing pov is mediocre, my ideas are mediocre and that he's disappointed that I'm a lazy dumb person, and that I should just make Candy Crush facebook games because that's what people like me play, and not make a VN/RPG hybrid but just put some lazy mini games in there for extra fun if that's what I was looking for instead of touching on RPG stuff.

I think all that was really uncalled for.

*sigh*
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3333 Post by Sapphi » Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:18 pm

Deji wrote: He knows a lot about RPGs (I value his opinion a lot), but he's part of that annoying mindset of "if you're going to do it, do it perfect or do nothing at all", while I'm more of the school of "better do *something*, even if not remotely perfect, that not doing anything at all".
I understand where he is coming from, but what the heck? I could take "your game designing pov is mediocre, your ideas are mediocre and I'm disappointed that you're a lazy dumb person" from a random internet jerk, but I don't think I would want to live with someone that was so negative... :(
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Deji
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3334 Post by Deji » Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:10 pm

Sapphi wrote: I understand where he is coming from, but what the heck? I could take "your game designing pov is mediocre, your ideas are mediocre and I'm disappointed that you're a lazy dumb person" from a random internet jerk, but I don't think I would want to live with someone that was so negative... :(
He sounded butthurt and disappointed >>;
I think he resents me a bit? Maybe it's just me imagining things... But it is true that his dream job was to work on games and stuff, but I ended up working on that without even meaning to or trying for it, so he may be upset that I want to make games that he wouldn't do because they're not up to his standards? Like I'm wasting the contacts I have, the resources I have and all in making stuff that I personally like but isn't just good enough?

I don't even know. Still, his attitude was uncalled for. I expected support and feedback from him, not bashing :/
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3335 Post by Viniciuskk » Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:55 pm

SundownKid wrote:
Applegate wrote: So remember this gripe? Turns out my upstairs neighbour just forgot he left the bath running after killing himself. Man, what a doof. I feel horrible now.
DUDE! :shock: Yeah... that's not really something for you to feel bad about, I doubt anyone would expect something like that to happen.
Ouch :shock:

That's definitely... Troublesome.


@Deji

I'd say he just wishes he had your contacts & resources. He's probably telling himself that he'd be able to do something grand with what you have. I understand that feeling. I've felt it sometimes in the past... It's discomforting...
Hopefully, he'll get over it.



I wonder if I should "Get something off my chest"... Makes me feel uneasy...

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3336 Post by Tempus » Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:24 am

Deji wrote:And he started saying that my game designing pov is mediocre, my ideas are mediocre and that he's disappointed that I'm a lazy dumb person, and that I should just make Candy Crush facebook games because that's what people like me play
What the hell? It's one thing to have a difference of opinion, even to the point calling each other's likes / dislikes crap or poor taste (playfully, of course), but I'd agree that sounds pretty uncalled for coming from your boyfriend. It's understandable to be frustrated about the way someone does something if you disagree with it, but that doesn't make the other person stupid. I wonder what it makes him for going out with a "lazy dumb person" >.>

It doesn't sound unreasonable to me to want to have a limited scope -- fixation on perfection is a sign of an inexperienced dev, I think. (Someone like meeee :D) Eventually you have to finish and present and there's always gonna be things that could be better.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3337 Post by curry nochi rice » Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:10 am

I think I'm in love again.
...
I hate it. Right when I'm about to get serious on being a good student.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3338 Post by Taosym » Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:27 am

Deji wrote:And he started saying that my game designing pov is mediocre, my ideas are mediocre and that he's disappointed that I'm a lazy dumb person
He's projecting his own failings on to you and resenting any success you have. It sounds like he wants you to impliment his ideas so that he feels at least in some way attached to success you would have. The solution is to confront him, and let him know that if he wants to game design he should just do it instead of being a mopey sap about it. Either that or drop the guilt drama all together.

Theoretically you can also try and do some game design with him, this will probably mean you both have to sacrifice some of your vision, to implement a good idea, but it means that the two of you would make something you're both proud of.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3339 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:10 am

@Deji, But he's not making the game °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

It's very easy for non-developers to think that developers should do this or that in terms of workload, but then it's easy to say anything when you're not the one doing the work ^_^ Do what you want honey, if it really upsets him how you spend your time, he's free to make his own RPG.
Last edited by Auro-Cyanide on Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3340 Post by Lishy » Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:38 pm

Deji wrote:Rant ahead~

Yesterday I was with my bf discussing some stuff abount a really-in-the-backburner VN/RPG hybrid thing I'm planning with a group of people...
And he started being a bit of a jerk about it.
Maybe you misunderstood, and he was just trying to help by giving legit constructive criticism.
-

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3341 Post by Tempus » Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:23 pm

Lishy wrote:Maybe you misunderstood, and he was just trying to help by giving legit constructive criticism.
Hm, but constructive criticism that doesn't take into account the creator's goal isn't very constructive at all. You could tell Picasso that his anatomy is all wrong, but if his goal isn't realistic anatomy how is that in anyway helpful? Further, calling him dumb because of that definitely isn't constructive.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3342 Post by Blane Doyle » Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:24 am

This current topic is the opposite spectrum of what I ranted about on twitter the other day.

My rant was essentially "if you don't want to at least listen to honest, constructive criticism when you ASK for it, and instead just brush it aside by explaining everything brought up away with "well, someone else liked it so that doesn't really matter", please stop". I don't run into this often, but when I do run into this... my Hulk button is pressed. Especially when I am the one being asked to give the crit. There is nothing wrong with explaining something when crit is given (ala "Oh, well, there is a reason in world for that, let me explain to see if it makes more sense"), that is perfectly understandable. But, and I quote, "it's that way because I say so, I don't want to have to change it" and "well, I had someone else read it and they're ok with it so it doesn't really matter" just aggravates me.

(on a side note, I will never look at someone's stuff if I know them IRL for a loooong while now. this almost always seems to happen offline.)

For this situation, my reaction is... "if you're just going to insult them and try to force someone to do what YOU want them to do, that's not constructive criticism, that's just being a jerk. Please stop".

Deji, you're right in saying that's uncalled for. There is a line between extremely blunt crit and just being a jerk, and when someone only flings insults instead of listing why they think a certain way? I think it is crossed.

And that's my crappy 2 cents in the matter.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3343 Post by DeeKay » Sat Jun 15, 2013 8:57 am

@Deji

In total agreement with Blane here.

From your words, it seems like your boyfriend has a real big attitude problem if he goes out of his way to insult you when you just want his opinion.
So what if you're in a line of work he wished for but couldn't attain ? That's no reason to bash on you at all ! Not everyone gets to do everything they wish for, either learn to deal with it or make it so that you can reach your goals but don't drag other people into it and make them feel miserable as a result. That's just being obnoxious, rude and inconsiderate.

If he was really thinking about you, he would try to provide you with advice based on how he perceives things, not reject everything like it's the "irrefutable law of all things".

I also agree with Taosym in that you should confront him if he thinks what you come up with is at best mediocre.
Give him some dirt and see how he fares.. if he's up to the challenge that is. This should at least make him consider thinking before spilling words randomly to your face.

And dang it ! Your boyfriend should be understanding at least ! Even if he feels strongly about the topic, he shouldn't phrase stuff so aggressively !
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3344 Post by redcat » Sat Jun 15, 2013 10:41 am

When I make an artwork for my own "self satisfaction", I would never ask for for critics.
When I make arts to be enjoyed by other people, I accept critics - even harsh one is fine.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#3345 Post by ShippoK » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:11 am

Yeah Shippo, try to figure out how Archive works.
Yeah Shippo, dont notice that they move your pictures in the Archive folder.
Yeah Shippo, delete said Archive folder without realizing it and cry! CRY YOU FOOL!

(Thankfully, I had a Backup of my project that I updated a week ago, but I lost some minor progress with my A-D images and it makes me so mad! Now I have a bunch of pictures I need to re-do on a certain character) *God darn it Aki, you always find a way to mess everything up in and outside the NV!*

I'll figure it out later... I dont even want to hear, read or touch that thing for the months to come.
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