Get that thing off your chest... Now...

[ThisIsNoName]

Why does victim blaming still exist? Just...why? I mean, I know "why", the theory, but it still makes me angry and sad that it still exists.

Just-world fallacy. I can't live in a world where bad things happen to good people, so if a bad thing happens to you, you probably did something to deserve it. If I don't believe that, a bad thing could happen to ME one day and then what would I do?

Yeah. I know. I still hate that line of thinking. It's the sheer lack of empathy that disturbs me. What I'd like to know is, what do victim-blamers do if something bad happens to THEM?

Blame themselves. That's the worst part of it. A lot of the time the people who are blaming the victims were people who were victims themselves, and truly want to help the other victims by "helping" them understand why it happened.

[Caveat Lector]

I don't quite think what you're suggesting can be applied to every single victim-blaming situation (ie, those who blame women for getting threats of violence leveled at them), but yes, I can think of a few situations where that does apply (ie, "Your store got destroyed in a random hurricane because God is punishing you for being so ambitious"). I've even seen victim-blaming from my own (late) mother, and SHE had a really hard life. At any rate, you'd think their bad experiences would just make them more empathetic and respectful.

[ThisIsNoName]

I don't quite think what you're suggesting can be applied to every single victim-blaming situation (ie, those who blame women for getting threats of violence leveled at them), but yes, I can think of a few situations where that does apply (ie, "Your store got destroyed in a random hurricane because God is punishing you for being so ambitious").

Oh yeah, I probably should have qualified that. I was thinking of cases like rape or assault, where there was clearly another person at fault. A lot of the time, the victim is trying to rationalize why this happened to them, but the only thing they can examine is themselves. So it becomes a case of "Maybe I dressed the wrong way" or "Maybe I looked at them wrong", when the real cause is just someone wanting to hurt someone else.

I've even seen victim-blaming from my own (late) mother, and SHE had a really hard life. At any rate, you'd think their bad experiences would just make them more empathetic and respectful.

From the point of view of a victim, empathy and respect won't stop a crime from happening again. That's often why they are so brutal with their assessments.
I should probably point out that this is more often the case where one person is talking directly to another person. If it's someone talking about another person, especially over mass media, chances are it's a publicity stunt or just plain hate. Each scenario is unique.

EDIT: I should add that I am not an expert of any kind. A lot of this is just based on observations.

[Lishy]

Is it normal to have more than 15 tumors growing on me at only the age of 20? Each month, I find more and more. I can't even keep track where they all are, but the whole right side of my torso hurts because of it.

They use to grow only on my back, but now they're spreading to the front, and it stings to bend. Perhaps one of my greatest fears is one of those things growing in my head. I don't want brain surgery.

Things like this make me worry about the development of Bells.

[SundownKid]

That certainly sounds highly ABnormal, you should see a dermatologist or just a regular doctor about it and ask them for help. Though, there is a difference between having a skin condition and something spreading to your brain. A doctor can tell you what type of condition it is and whether you need medicine.

[Lishy]

That certainly sounds highly ABnormal, you should see a dermatologist or just a regular doctor about it and ask them for help. Though, there is a difference between having a skin condition and something spreading to your brain. A doctor can tell you what type of condition it is and whether you need medicine.

I went to a doctor recently, and she told me to get an ultrasound.

Unfortunately, ultrasounds can be pretty expensive, and I don't know whether or not they're covered under healthcare here. For the dermatologist, the wait time is 6 months.

As far as money is concerned, When the Bells Toll is a priority above my health, and I know that sounds silly. But ultrasounds are expensive, and to save up for it would mean giving up funding my passion for really long while, and I'm not sure I could do that. Luckily if I manage to pull off a successful Kickstarter, than the money I make from working part-time could go to medical expenses instead.

I think you of all people should know what kinda money situation I'm in.

[Lesleigh63]

That certainly sounds highly ABnormal, you should see a dermatologist or just a regular doctor about it and ask them for help. Though, there is a difference between having a skin condition and something spreading to your brain. A doctor can tell you what type of condition it is and whether you need medicine.

I went to a doctor recently, and she told me to get an ultrasound.

Unfortunately, ultrasounds can be pretty expensive, and I don't know whether or not they're covered under healthcare here. For the dermatologist, the wait time is 6 months.

As far as money is concerned, When the Bells Toll is a priority above my health, and I know that sounds silly. But ultrasounds are expensive, and to save up for it would mean giving up funding my passion for really long while, and I'm not sure I could do that. Luckily if I manage to pull off a successful Kickstarter, than the money I make from working part-time could go to medical expenses instead.

I think you of all people should know what kinda money situation I'm in.

Did your Doctor give you a name for the growths, then at least you could look up some information on them. Strongly suggest you spend the money on your health - if it takes a little longer to get your VN out then it takes a little longer. The extra time can be spent on proof reading etc and improving on what is there.

[Sleipnir56]

I AM SO PISSED OFF AT MY MOTHER !!!!

You see, my sister left her dog with us while she and her friend go teach in Europe. I've grown to really like Kira, though I admit she's very excitable (which I think is one of her best traits). My mom though, who has never been a good dog owner, keeps kicking her when she's angry. I've told her to stop, but she won't do it. I've tried to keep Kira away from her, but the dog just can't take a hint. Both Jen and I are getting real sick of her doing this. What makes it worse is that she tries to make excuses about why she does it. It's really pissing me off, and she won't even apologize

[Lishy]

Did your Doctor give you a name for the growths, then at least you could look up some information on them.

Nope. However, they are growing under the skin, so on the bright side, they're not visible to the average person.

They do sting, though.

[Reikun]

I'm getting stressed out by a lot of different things irl and it sucks that no matter how much you plan for things and do your best, dealing with other parties makes it inevitable that shit is going to happen that's out of your control >___> And I'm just not managing it well at all. I have trouble sleeping, everything's bothering me, and I can't concentrate on doing things that I usually like to do (drawing, working on VN stuff...). I'm starting to feel sick on a daily basis this is not fun. I'm so irritable lately and I feel tired but I can't rest. Arrgh. And I know that I'll feel a lot better once I get a result for something I'm waiting on T___T but until then it's upsetting that I know there's no point in "actively" waiting because when I get the response is pretty much 99% out of my control (I don't want to be that person who sends annoying e-mails about the status of their XYZ it's only been 2 business days but I'm just so goddamn impatient). I'm just sick of being the screw up and I want to improve my situation but it's hard to play the waiting game sometimes especially when you have inflexible deadlines in the near future OTL siiigggghhh I just had to vent that all out.

[MaiMai]

I need to write down some concrete goals of what I want to do this summer so part of it can go into working on my kinetic novel. Motivation is incredibly low right now.

[mugenjohncel]

MWAHAHAHA!!! TODAY! MY WIFE GAVE ME PERMISSION TO EAT ONE (1) BIG MAC AND A SUNDAE!!! HAPPIEST DAY EVAR!!! FACK YU HEART! SHUT UP KIDNEY AND YOU TOO LIVER!!! TODAY! I EAT WHAT I WANT!

"POOF" (Disappears)

[naqlada]

I'm getting stressed out by a lot of different things irl and it sucks that no matter how much you plan for things and do your best...

Welcome to the klub

What helps me is exercise and hobbies. What really helps is knowing when to let go. Once I learned that, things....eased.

[Lishy]

Saw this HUGE ant crawling on my bedroom wall... God, please save me. I pray that more wont come... And for the love of god, stay the fuck away from my BED and LAPTOP!

[borisoda]

^o god no i'd hate to see that in my apartment lol...