Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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noctos
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4771 Post by noctos » Wed Jun 10, 2015 8:00 am

I quit my job.

I've been trying to get in touch with my boss for over a month, but she won't reply to my emails or phone calls. I'm exhausted with this job before I even managed to start it. I hope they process it quickly, let me quit effective immediately, and we can just forget the whole thing happened. They owe me money for that week I was in training, but right now I just want to be done with it.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4772 Post by Mad Harlequin » Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:16 pm

I don't usually vent here because I try to keep my personal problems off the easily-accessible Web, but I feel the need to do so today.

Has anyone here ever gone to great lengths to help improve something, only to be told, either directly or indirectly, that those efforts are either an act of pretension or worthless?

What makes some people so dismissive of others? Sometimes I feel I don't understand, no matter how many times I encounter this sort of thing. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I just wish I weren't so easily hurt.

(Before anyone gets worried, yes, I have a support network.)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4773 Post by Kailoto » Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:17 pm

Mad Harlequin wrote:Has anyone here ever gone to great lengths to help improve something, only to be told, either directly or indirectly, that those efforts are either an act of pretension or worthless?
Yes, but it's usually me telling myself those things. There's always a bit of doubt in my mind as to my true intentions, and whether or not they matter in the grand scheme of things.

As such, when other people do it, I'm not usually bothered. It's something I'm always asking myself, and I know that I have placed a lot of consideration into my actions beforehand, whereas their critical comment is usually just an offhand reaction that they hardly thought about. I take solace in the fact that they are probably putting up a front to avoid something else, either out of potential embarrassment or vulnerability.

That might not work for you, though, so my best advice is to move on and find someone else who appreciates your time. There are people out there who simply won't care no matter how much effort you put in, and they don't deserve that effort in the first place. Sometimes it's not the actions that are the problem, but rather the people themselves.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4774 Post by Mad Harlequin » Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:34 pm

Kailoto wrote:As such, when other people do it, I'm not usually bothered. It's something I'm always asking myself, and I know that I have placed a lot of consideration into my actions beforehand, whereas their critical comment is usually just an offhand reaction that they hardly thought about. I take solace in the fact that they are probably putting up a front to avoid something else, either out of potential embarrassment or vulnerability.
Yeah, I know. What happened wasn't a big deal, but the comment attached itself to other things that are currently troubling me and created a clod of negativity. Sometimes I get those. They're like kidney stones, but worse.

Thanks for your input. :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4775 Post by Quelcezot » Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:17 pm

I hate marketing more than the human condition.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4776 Post by dreamy » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:43 am

Quelcezot wrote:I hate marketing more than the human condition.
I guess that makes us two :roll:
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So calm down and listen..."

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4777 Post by Kinjo » Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:06 pm

Mad Harlequin wrote:I don't usually vent here because I try to keep my personal problems off the easily-accessible Web, but I feel the need to do so today.

Has anyone here ever gone to great lengths to help improve something, only to be told, either directly or indirectly, that those efforts are either an act of pretension or worthless?

What makes some people so dismissive of others? Sometimes I feel I don't understand, no matter how many times I encounter this sort of thing. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I just wish I weren't so easily hurt.

(Before anyone gets worried, yes, I have a support network.)
Sounds like something I could have written. I can't understand it either, to be honest, and I'm not sure I ever will.
It's easy to start thinking something is wrong with yourself, but it's usually the other person's stubbornness and immaturity that is quick to blame you.

Of course it highly depends on the situation, but this is one possibility, so it might help.
That might not work for you, though, so my best advice is to move on and find someone else who appreciates your time. There are people out there who simply won't care no matter how much effort you put in, and they don't deserve that effort in the first place. Sometimes it's not the actions that are the problem, but rather the people themselves.
This is the only thing I've found to actually work. There's nothing that helps me more than helping other people, who appreciate what I do for them.

Sometimes I still feel down and confused because of it so this post was kind of my own venting as well, but it was relevant to discussion too.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4778 Post by Miggrator » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:22 pm

I'm painfully head over heels for one of my best friends. He has feelings for me too. This is wonderful news!
Except for one major problem: I live in the USA. He lives in the Netherlands. Both of us know that we're awful at long-distance relationships, and we're pretty sure it wouldn't work.
So instead we're just trying to squash our pesky crushes and focus on our friendship.

I have this foolish hope that when I finally save up enough money to visit him, once we meet in person, we'll be inspired to try and make it work.

It's a stupid thing to hope for, especially as an adult, but I've never had such strong feelings for anyone before.

Even if things can't work out between us romantically, I still want him to be a part of my life forever. I want to see him happy, even if it's not with me.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4779 Post by Fenrir34 » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:26 pm

Miggrator wrote:I'm painfully head over heels for one of my best friends. He has feelings for me too. This is wonderful news!
Except for one major problem: I live in the USA. He lives in the Netherlands. Both of us know that we're awful at long-distance relationships, and we're pretty sure it wouldn't work.
So instead we're just trying to squash our pesky crushes and focus on our friendship.

I have this foolish hope that when I finally save up enough money to visit him, once we meet in person, we'll be inspired to try and make it work.

It's a stupid thing to hope for, especially as an adult, but I've never had such strong feelings for anyone before.

Even if things can't work out between us romantically, I still want him to be a part of my life forever. I want to see him happy, even if it's not with me.
I don't think it's stupid for you to hope that things will work out between you. Even adults need hope in things. Even if it seems impossible there is always a chance that things will work out. Don't ever lose hope, especially with love.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4780 Post by Hijiri » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:21 pm

Miggrator wrote:I'm painfully head over heels for one of my best friends. He has feelings for me too. This is wonderful news!
Except for one major problem: I live in the USA. He lives in the Netherlands. Both of us know that we're awful at long-distance relationships, and we're pretty sure it wouldn't work.
So instead we're just trying to squash our pesky crushes and focus on our friendship.

I have this foolish hope that when I finally save up enough money to visit him, once we meet in person, we'll be inspired to try and make it work.

It's a stupid thing to hope for, especially as an adult, but I've never had such strong feelings for anyone before.

Even if things can't work out between us romantically, I still want him to be a part of my life forever. I want to see him happy, even if it's not with me.
It's never wrong to have hope. Sure, there may be things that keep things from happening, but that doesn't mean you two should give up on each other. It may take years, but I'm sure you two can figure something out.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4781 Post by YuukiCrossPudding » Thu Jun 18, 2015 1:26 am

Miggrator wrote:I'm painfully head over heels for one of my best friends. He has feelings for me too. This is wonderful news!
Except for one major problem: I live in the USA. He lives in the Netherlands. Both of us know that we're awful at long-distance relationships, and we're pretty sure it wouldn't work.
So instead we're just trying to squash our pesky crushes and focus on our friendship.

I have this foolish hope that when I finally save up enough money to visit him, once we meet in person, we'll be inspired to try and make it work.

It's a stupid thing to hope for, especially as an adult, but I've never had such strong feelings for anyone before.

Even if things can't work out between us romantically, I still want him to be a part of my life forever. I want to see him happy, even if it's not with me.
I'm happy for you guys! Both of you known of each other feelings and that's wonderful.
I have a lot of friends who's in LDR, and they seem so happy, one of them even got married recently. But not every relationship ends well, some of them broke off, but still manage to be friend in the end, and some of them decide to cut their connection completely because they still like each other but decide to end their relationship because of various reasons.
I'd say go and do what your heart want to do, so you'll not regret it, because whatever it'll ends with, in that moment you already know the feeling of caring and loving him and that's enough. Don't give up on hope!

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4782 Post by Kailoto » Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:00 am

YuukiCrossPudding wrote:I'd say go and do what your heart want to do, so you'll not regret it, because whatever it'll ends with, in that moment you already know the feeling of caring and loving him and that's enough. Don't give up on hope!
This, right here. Always be true to your feelings, otherwise you'll end up regretting it. I've passed over many chances in my life, and they all end up with me regretting that I didn't make the move. And even if things don't work out, the time spent together is still worth it.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4783 Post by Rinima » Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:15 am

YuukiCrossPudding wrote:I'd say go and do what your heart want to do, so you'll not regret it, because whatever it'll ends with, in that moment you already know the feeling of caring and loving him and that's enough. Don't give up on hope!
Also gonna agree on this. I've been in love once and it was with a girl from Poland (I'm from the UK), and I'm really glad I gave it the chase, even if it didn't work out in the end, because I got to feel something special. Don't pass us on the chance for that feeling, it's a good feeling.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4784 Post by Mad Harlequin » Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:02 pm

Kinjo wrote:This is the only thing I've found to actually work. There's nothing that helps me more than helping other people, who appreciate what I do for them.

Sometimes I still feel down and confused because of it so this post was kind of my own venting as well, but it was relevant to discussion too.
Yeah, I love helping people. It's made me an easy target for folks who take advantage of that, but I've learned to be more discerning.
Miggrator wrote:I have this foolish hope that when I finally save up enough money to visit him, once we meet in person, we'll be inspired to try and make it work.
You might be thus inspired, but then again, you might not feel any chemistry, and the matter will be settled for you.

I'm going to go ahead and assume you know enough about this person to trust him, since you're good friends (and adults), but I'd be remiss not to give a general warning---more for the thread than for anyone in particular---about going to see people you meet on the Internet. Maybe a friend could come along, just in case. (I'm in a long-distance relationship too, though it's not as long-distance as yours. I've only been able to go and see the other person once so far, and my parents insisted on coming with me.)
It's a stupid thing to hope for, especially as an adult, but I've never had such strong feelings for anyone before.
I'm seconding Fenrir here---adults are allowed to hope. And hope in itself is never a stupid thing.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4785 Post by Miggrator » Thu Jun 18, 2015 2:21 pm

I'd quote you all individually, but there were quite a few replies and it would take up more of the post than my actual reply. But thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm not giving up, and I've got a jar where I'm saving every penny I can get so I can visit him. We'll see what happens from there.

And thank you for wanting to look out for me, Mad Harlequin! The friend and I have known each other for quite a few years and are very close. I will still be careful, but I really don't think there's cause for alarm in my particular case. Still, it's good even for adults to be cautious in such situations.
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