Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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infel
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4876 Post by infel » Tue Aug 25, 2015 9:51 pm

Had an okay day...Nothing bad happened...But guess what....I'm depressed now and alone....What a "wonderful" thing depression is. It really can ruin you.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4877 Post by eileen » Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:47 pm

infel wrote:Had an okay day...Nothing bad happened...But guess what....I'm depressed now and alone....What a "wonderful" thing depression is. It really can ruin you.
Aww, I know that feeling. I wish I could help you more. Only thing I can say is be strong Infel!

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4878 Post by Alix » Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:50 pm

infel wrote:Had an okay day...Nothing bad happened...But guess what....I'm depressed now and alone....What a "wonderful" thing depression is. It really can ruin you.
Depression is awful. Been there, done that... hope to never repeat the experience. >_<

I know it seems like forever when you're in it. It's hard to remember what being happy felt like, and it's hard to imagine you'll ever be happy again. I don't know how much this helps, but... well, I've felt that way. And it wasn't anywhere near true. Things got better for me, and I sincerely believe that they'll get better for you, too.

...sorry things have to suck in the meantime, though. :/

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4879 Post by hiko27 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 2:04 am

infel wrote:Had an okay day...Nothing bad happened...But guess what....I'm depressed now and alone....What a "wonderful" thing depression is. It really can ruin you.
Pretty sure a whole lot of us have been there, including me, so very understandable. Imo, the best way to battle it is to talk about it with someone you trust, when you're up for it. And in case, you know, you start having suicidal thoughts, I do recommend to talk to that with someone. Don't want anything bad to happen to you.

And I never knew we had a thread like this, so might as well let that thing off my chest as well.

One of my worries is making it big in the digital art world, mostly freelance, like yuumei and Sakimichan are. I've been getting followers on my tumblr, deviantart and pixiv (surprisingly), but from what I've observed so far, it takes a whole lot out of my time to actually go out and promote myself even more than I already do. And it's very stressful because I do have other things going on, like getting things ready for my online art shop, or PMX (as I'll mention below). My bestfriend is now taking care of my Facebook page because I rarely go on there, and she's a godsent because she wants to help me out with whatever needs to be done. If I could give her access to my online shop, she'd probably say yes immediately lol. But yeah, another is that I need to improve more. That, I think, is one way to get recognition for my art. So I've been drawing almost everyday, which is very surprising because I'm a procrastinator. I'd like to say I'm constantly getting better at understanding myself, and making myself into a more independent, mature, better person. Another is that it feels as if I have to devote my time to my art. That's probably the big difference between me and those artists. That's how it feels like. I'm still in college, still living with my family (where I also have to worry about family finances, as well as taking care of the house when my parents aren't home, which is almost 24/7), and have all these things I'm doing that I can't devote myself to just my art. Very hard, but I'll hopefully be able to do so once I transfer to a UC or an art school and just binge on art all two/four years lol.

One other worry I have is I'm again preparing to sell at an anime convention. Money's a really big worry for me right now, mostly because I don't want to have to ask my mom for more because it makes me feel too dependent, and as if I'm just taking advantage of her. I have to get art sleeves for the prints, deadlines for getting art in to be printed all the way over in Rhode Island, and pretty much thinking up of things to draw to sell. Add my insecurity about my art, and it gets overwhelming, but I'm taking my time on things. If I can't get prints printed at my preferred shop, I might just have to go to a print shop nearby. So many things to worry about, but I'm doing it step by step so I don't get too overwhelmed.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4880 Post by King-sama » Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:34 am

...
Last edited by King-sama on Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4881 Post by Hijiri » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:36 pm

I'm dirt broke and I'm behind on a payment. Help me next paycheck, you're my only hope....
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4882 Post by BreakingMachines » Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:24 pm

Uh I wanted to declare my minor as Game Animation, after feeling too insecure to apply as an Interactive Media major, with the portfolio and essays I have right now. Right as I went in today, I found out the person in charge of giving people minors quit, recently and now I have to wait for the department to hire someone else. I just wanted official clearance to pursue game studies without the university harping at me to do more credits in my actual major.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4883 Post by kisa » Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:08 pm

My HoFco project has been in progress for almost two years... Only one route has any real progress on it and I keep redoing the art... I won't give up on it even though I want to... I really want to finish it and My writer is getting burnt out from stuff and writing and...
Not to mention my personal life...
Just gimme a hug and I'll go back to worrying over what might seem to be nothing to everyone else...

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4884 Post by Donmai » Fri Sep 04, 2015 5:17 pm

kisa wrote:Just gimme a hug
HUG
(Don't you worry, be happy).
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4885 Post by wayward » Sat Sep 05, 2015 12:26 pm

interesting topic... I can't resist.

being a starving artist sux big time. hopefully one day it'll all pay off and I'll never have to live this lifestyle again.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4886 Post by kisa » Sat Sep 05, 2015 1:56 pm

Donmai wrote:
kisa wrote:Just gimme a hug
HUG
(Don't you worry, be happy).
*hugs back* 8u8
I'll try. Thanks, Donmai. You're really nice.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4887 Post by Rinima » Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:59 pm

I hate it went I find a game that looks really awesome, follow the people who made it on twitter, and it turned out one of them is a total douche. Kinda ruins the game for me.

I'm sorry you got a shit load of pressure at school, and I'm sorry you didn't get the grades you want, but at least try to think about what the rest of us mortals had to put up with a school. You were lucky, you got put on a pedestal, the rest of us we're either outright ignored or constantly compared to you. So before you think about complaining about 'to much pressure' ect ect, some of us would have love that kind of attention.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4888 Post by Kailoto » Sat Sep 05, 2015 10:27 pm

Rinima wrote:I hate it went I find a game that looks really awesome, follow the people who made it on twitter, and it turned out one of them is a total douche. Kinda ruins the game for me.
Yep, I had that problem with Fez... loved the game design and concept, hated the developer. I know that you're supposed to separate art from the artist, but some people make it really hard. >.>
Rinima wrote:I'm sorry you got a shit load of pressure at school, and I'm sorry you didn't get the grades you want, but at least try to think about what the rest of us mortals had to put up with a school. You were lucky, you got put on a pedestal, the rest of us we're either outright ignored or constantly compared to you. So before you think about complaining about 'to much pressure' ect ect, some of us would have love that kind of attention.
For the sake of a counterpoint, as someone who was put on a pedestal, and was that one kid that everyone was compared to, I have to say that it's not all that it's cracked up to be. The more potential you show, the higher your expectations are... it doesn't scale linearly. You're never allowed to have off days, you're never allowed to not care, and you're always being forced down a specific path. Which, yeah, I'll admit, it nice for the people who want that kind of attention and are ambitious enough to seize those opportunities, but for those of us that don't have those aspirations, it's extremely isolating. It's not the type of attention you'd think it is; people like you for what you can do and what you represent, not who you are as a person. (If they even like you at all; most don't.)

Which is why I ended up abandoning ship halfway through, and am no longer on that path. It's a lot nicer, to be able to focus on the things I care about, rather than what I should, or what is "correct" for me to care about. And like I said, not everyone is like that; there's people on both sides of the divide that would rather stay where they are, and there's people that would rather switch places. And if you want to talk about too much pressure... well, try having stress to the point of severely under-eating and falling down two flights of stairs. It's not just a mental state that you can work through at will.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4889 Post by Rinima » Sun Sep 06, 2015 7:30 am

Kailoto wrote:For the sake of a counterpoint, as someone who was put on a pedestal, and was that one kid that everyone was compared to, I have to say that it's not all that it's cracked up to be. The more potential you show, the higher your expectations are... it doesn't scale linearly. You're never allowed to have off days, you're never allowed to not care, and you're always being forced down a specific path. Which, yeah, I'll admit, it nice for the people who want that kind of attention and are ambitious enough to seize those opportunities, but for those of us that don't have those aspirations, it's extremely isolating. It's not the type of attention you'd think it is; people like you for what you can do and what you represent, not who you are as a person. (If they even like you at all; most don't.)

Which is why I ended up abandoning ship halfway through, and am no longer on that path. It's a lot nicer, to be able to focus on the things I care about, rather than what I should, or what is "correct" for me to care about. And like I said, not everyone is like that; there's people on both sides of the divide that would rather stay where they are, and there's people that would rather switch places. And if you want to talk about too much pressure... well, try having stress to the point of severely under-eating and falling down two flights of stairs. It's not just a mental state that you can work through at will.
And for the sake of closure, I have to get this out.
1. You think the rest of us were allowed days off? I was forced in once with a inner ear infection and with hallucinations. Once again when I broke my coxis. And there just two examples of many.
2. Small reminded this is the UK system I am talking about. As such, everyone I've talked to under the UK system (and I've asked a lot of 'gifted/Favorited' people), have all said they never felt pushed into what they've chosen to do, in fact, they were encouraged. You know what I wanted to do when I was little? Be a doctor. You know what people did? They either laughed in my face or ignored me. Where was the pushing and encouraging I needed.
3. You want to talk about isolation? Okay. Tell me, have you ever had to 2nd guess an entire conversation because of reason's beyond your control. Guess what, that's my reality everyday for the entire of my life. Want to know why? Because I have a auditory processing disorder. And guess what else, it wasn't noticed by people in the educational system for 19 years. Despite it being their job to notice when kids have a problem.
4. Please don't talk to me like I don't know the pressure. I lost 3 stone in 2 months once because of school so "well, try having stress to the point of severely under-eating and falling down two flights of stairs. It's not just a mental state that you can work through at will." isn't really something that should be said, or even come up.
5 Sorry if I'm coming across as overly aggressive/angry, but I've have this on my chest for 10+ years, and this was me trying to de-bunk it off, if just for a little while, and I certainly don't want people going around like my feelings don't matter in the slightly. Because even if that wasn't what you intended, it's the way it felt. You know, it's not even you I'm angry at. Or this person on twitter. I'm just sick to the bones of this shitty system we like to call 'education'.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#4890 Post by MomoiroGirl » Sun Sep 06, 2015 6:58 pm

So today is the fifth day in a row that I'm drunk. At least I'm still capable of being civil and appearing somewhat sober. It makes me feel kinda weird knowing that my mom hasn't noticed how many glasses of wine I've had though. I feel so sad saying that I feel very happy when I'm somewhat intoxicated. I better get some proper treatment for my OCD and problems in general soon. I really don't wanna become an alcoholic. It feels inappropriate saying this on here, and it may actually be. But honestly I'm just kind of blank right now. I'm glad I'm not some raging and out-of-control drunk compared to a lot of other people, since that means I can better hide the fact that I've been intoxicated/drunk the last 5 days from my family. I've kinda lost hope ever since I was told I couldn't get the type of treatment I need for my OCD simply because of stupid laws and regulation that don't even make any God damn sense. How does society expect me to become a productive member of society, if they won't even give me the treatment I need?! Fuck, I don't even know anymore. I never thought I'd get to this point.

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