Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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MomoiroGirl
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5057 Post by MomoiroGirl » Fri Aug 12, 2016 5:50 pm

guzy wrote:
MomoiroGirl wrote:
AllegroDiRossi wrote:The true answer is MYSTIC


.
First of all, Mystic >>> ALL


second, sorry if I sound rude, but why do you care so much about what other people thinks about you?
Do you only have fun pleasing others instead of you?
NO! Begone foul Mystic-cretin! In all honesty I usually don't. Like, at all. But this is something where I've been made fun of growing up, for being into manga and games (WoW specifically) etc. And I have gotten used to own it as a badge of honor. But now, suddenly, it's basically the exact OPPOSITE situation. I haven't experiences it before, so I haven't learnt myself how to deal with it effectively other than by ignoring. I suppose it's why I always feel kinda withdrawn when I meet someone that's also into "nerdy stuff".

I'm especially nervous about it because most people never figure me for a gaming type or someone who's into anime etc., when they meet me, because I like to wear girly clothes and makeup and, well... I dunno, most people just act surprised (sometimes in a ridiculously unbelieving manner. Like, dude, it's fucking 2016...).

At any rate, it turns out that it would be too expensive to gather the parts for a costume or to even make one. So I figure I'll just save the money instead to spend on merchandise etc. at the Con.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5058 Post by Zelan » Mon Aug 15, 2016 4:46 pm

MomoiroGirl wrote: At any rate, it turns out that it would be too expensive to gather the parts for a costume or to even make one. So I figure I'll just save the money instead to spend on merchandise etc. at the Con.
You don't necessarily have to go full-out on a cosplay, especially for your first one. If you wanted, you could use what makeup you already have to make your face similar to Harley Quinn's and (if your hair's long enough) give yourself some pigtails. c: There will probably always be jerks who will razz you about your cosplay, but just remember that they don't really know you and they're probably never going to see you again. I know sometimes it's tough to just ignore people but try not to let it get you down. ^_^

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun at Comic Con!

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5059 Post by Rinima » Sun Aug 21, 2016 3:33 pm

Content warning: misgendering, transphobia
I just need to rant. I'm feeling really pissed off/invalid right now.
So basically, I'm on this asexual group, and a post goes up about the different sexualities. Now, this post was slightly transphobic, I wasn't to bothered, nothing about it upset me to much. Until I got to this post. Apparently, transphobia isn't worth getting upset over, we're all just "overly sensitive" and it's not *nearly* as important a issue as racism. So, I post, feeling pretty pissed off. Long story short, I've been misgendered, had the death of many friends disrespected (because apparently they don't matter), and told in general that they don't care if we all die and go to hell.
Sorry, I'm really close to crying right now out of frustration (being misgendered didn't help).
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5060 Post by infel » Sun Aug 21, 2016 3:40 pm

Rinima wrote:Content warning: misgendering, transphobia
I just need to rant. I'm feeling really pissed off/invalid right now.
So basically, I'm on this asexual group, and a post goes up about the different sexualities. Now, this post was slightly transphobic, I wasn't to bothered, nothing about it upset me to much. Until I got to this post. Apparently, transphobia isn't worth getting upset over, we're all just "overly sensitive" and it's not *nearly* as important a issue as racism. So, I post, feeling pretty pissed off. Long story short, I've been misgendered, had the death of many friends disrespected (because apparently they don't matter), and told in general that they don't care if we all die and go to hell.
Sorry, I'm really close to crying right now out of frustration (being misgendered didn't help).

I'm truly sorry you had to go through this. Unfortunately the world is filled with bad people who only seethings from their point of view. I don't know who this person is; they may be a troll just trying to hurt others or a true ass. However what I do know, an I know it's hard, is it's best to ignore him and live the way you want. It is upsetting that you feel so down and horrible that your friends (who I am sorry have passed away) have been disrespected. Note though that there are always people who will support you and help you when you need it. I know sometimes it feel like you may be alone or lost, especially when you meet nasty and horrible people, but there is always someone who will help you and understand you. You've just gotta look in the right places. Just love yourself, be kind, and don't be like the people who put done others.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5061 Post by Kinjo » Sun Aug 21, 2016 5:00 pm

Rinima wrote:Content warning: misgendering, transphobia
I just need to rant. I'm feeling really pissed off/invalid right now.
So basically, I'm on this asexual group, and a post goes up about the different sexualities. Now, this post was slightly transphobic, I wasn't to bothered, nothing about it upset me to much. Until I got to this post. Apparently, transphobia isn't worth getting upset over, we're all just "overly sensitive" and it's not *nearly* as important a issue as racism. So, I post, feeling pretty pissed off. Long story short, I've been misgendered, had the death of many friends disrespected (because apparently they don't matter), and told in general that they don't care if we all die and go to hell.
Sorry, I'm really close to crying right now out of frustration (being misgendered didn't help).
The best way to not get upset over things people post on the Internet is just to not be exposed to them at all. This is something I've learned from experience. And of course that's not to say that you shouldn't have been upset (maybe you had a good reason to be) but that this might happen again in the future, and again and again, and so for your own sake it might be a good idea go do something else for a while. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but when you take a step back and just stay calm and realize it's just a thing that a total stranger said, and that you don't have to sit there and take it from them, you can realize it's not worth getting worked up over something so small. Believe me, it happens to me too every now and then, and I find it therapeutic to go do something else for a while to take my mind off it.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5062 Post by Pando » Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:53 pm

Did you already have that kind of "fear of the blank page" stuff when entering actual production of a new project you're super excited in ?
Because I think I do. :shock:

Like, during all preproduction you get more and more excited about it, your ideas seem so good, and the game is going to be so great.

But when it's time to actually write the game for real, it suddenly gets very scary and days pass as you don't dare to write anything.

Fortunately I've recently managed to overcome it! Let's keep focused ! :evil:
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5063 Post by MomoiroGirl » Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:49 pm

Zelan wrote: You don't necessarily have to go full-out on a cosplay, especially for your first one. If you wanted, you could use what makeup you already have to make your face similar to Harley Quinn's and (if your hair's long enough) give yourself some pigtails. c: There will probably always be jerks who will razz you about your cosplay, but just remember that they don't really know you and they're probably never going to see you again. I know sometimes it's tough to just ignore people but try not to let it get you down. ^_^

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun at Comic Con!
Yeah, I might at the very least wear a baseball shirt etc. and do her makeup at least (possibly pigtails, if I'm brave enough XD). Thank you! :D

-----

Ahh, I calmed down a bit while writing here. But I seriously think I just had a panic attack. Suddenly I started shaking, my chest started hurting and it felt like i couldn't really breathe... I just moved away from home for the first time, finally. I thought I'd be happy, I was really looking forward to it. But now I feel even more lonely and depressed than I was before. My mind has been turning more and more towards my old thoughts of wanting to die, jumping of the balcony, taking all the pills I have, just whatever. Don't get me wrong, I feel alright in this moment, I turned on some Youtube and anime, so I've calmed down. But it's been the same pretty much every night now, and I just feel like I might have made a huge mistake.

I can't tell my mom, she'll just freak the fuck out after this whole moving thing, and because she's been DYING for me to move away for a long time now. And, even now, she still has to come by every now and then and check up on me, and help me do the things I can't do myself because of my issues. Things have NOT gotten better for quite a while now. In fact, now they're getting WORSE again. I don't know what to do. I believe I would feel somewhat better if I didn't feel SO ALONE emotionally. I'm so detached from everyone and everything. I wanna go to school or have a job, ANYTHING... I wanna have a life, but I'm stuck here at home. I don't even have the energy to draw or play games anymore. I'm barely even interested in any series, movies or anime. And the ones I am interested in, I don't have the motivation or energy to actually watch it.

Usually I wake up pretty late, eat breakfast and then immediately afterwards I feel exhausted and sometimes fall asleep for 15 minutes to an hour in my chair, wake up, stay tired the whole day, then I get SOME degree of energy in the evening (usually). But still, no inspiration for drawing anymore. No real motivation to do or watch anything. I'm so tired of everything. I feel like I tell people I'm not doing well and need something to happen or change, but NO ONE REACTS. I tell my psychologist and it feels like nothing changes. I just DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I just wish that I- in spite of all of this- AT THE VERY LEAST- didn't feel so lonely... I feel kind of pathetic for suddenly being like this, but I guess I kind of have a right to now, since I almost never have- but I just REALLY want to be in love and have a relationship now. Like, not in the "ahh, it sounds nice" way.

It feels like I'm dead inside. I'm no the type whose life revolves around a boyfriend, never really have been. But I do like loving someone. I feel more alive in a way. I don't mind not being in love, but when I haven't felt it for, like several years now, and have never actually experienced a romantic relationship.. God, I can't even really describe what it feels like. It's as if I'm faulty. People tell me I'm a catch and whatever and it's not like there are NO people that have been somewhat interested. But there's only one person who's ever told me he LOVED me and he's the last person I loved. But that relationship was doomed from the beginning. He wasn't that understanding about my life and we were too different... So, to look out for myself, I didn't actually pursue it. And that's the ONE person. It's like people think I'm interesting, until they know me on a deeper level (if they even get far enough). I'm already ranting and could go on for even longer... So I'd better stop myself now...

So... To sum it up (I guess?) I'm extremely lonely... I feel empty and have almost no motivation or energy left- neither physically NOR mentally...

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5064 Post by dueceladouce » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:08 pm

@MomoiroGirl
I've been there many times myself, its not a good time. Especially as someone with depression and a disdain towards antidepresents, it happens a lot. But if nothing else there are many people on this forum (myself included) who would be more than happy to talk if you're down or lonely. Even if its just some short messages over the internet, communication like that has helped me time and time again.

Will work in exchange for fight game buddies.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5065 Post by guzy » Tue Aug 23, 2016 9:51 am

[quote="MomoiroGirl"][/quote]

The person you desesperadly want to meet and love is yourself. You just need to start love yourself and stop with the self depreciation. Actually some friends could help, you have internet and sound like one of the most communicative and fun people I ever see. Why don't you say to yourself that starting tomorrow you going to wake early, do exercises, study about something you like, get in the internet and start to make some friends, go out and start to make so friends... face yourself, stop trying to convice yourself about your problems, you should be focus on the solutions.

of course talk is just talk, right? is easy and all, but at least give it a try

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5066 Post by Caveat Lector » Tue Aug 23, 2016 12:52 pm

@MomoiroGirl

*hugs* Depression and anxiety can and do spike during stress or stressful transitions in life. And yes, moving IS a stressful transition. You will get through this because you are strong, and you will find people who will support you and help you through this. Quite a few people on this forum have been there, to some extent or another, and understand. Take care of yourself.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5067 Post by Zelan » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:54 pm

@MomoiroGirl

Awww, I'm really sorry to hear you're not doing well. :c Like Caveat Lector said, though, moving is very stressful, but things will start becoming more familiar and routine which should make things easier.

If you're feeling lonely, try putting yourself out a bit more - even if it's just over the Internet! While having friends that you can talk to face-to-face is definitely important, there's no reason you can't build an online social circle as well. We can help to hype you up before you go out and meet some people IRL. ^_^

If you (or anyone else for that matter) ever need to talk one-on-one, my inbox is always open. I can't promise that I'll respond immediately (I'm not online 24/7) or that I'll know exactly what to say to life your spirits, but I'll always try my hardest to lift you guys up. c:

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5068 Post by Rinima » Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:32 pm

CW: bad words that could be upsetting
You know what, I'm don't know why I'm bothering to do my nurse training. I'll always be "stupid, doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, doozy, lazy, window-licking Charlotte". Patients don't listen to word I say. My parent's certainly don't respect my knowledge on certain subjects. Even when I go online and find a reputable source to show I'm right, I'M STILL FUCKING WRONG BECAUSE I APPARENTLY AM TO THICK TO UNDERSTAND SUCH COMPLEX THINGS AND WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN BOTHER?!?
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5069 Post by dueceladouce » Sat Sep 17, 2016 10:02 pm

@Rinima
Sadly, that's one part of medical careers that will always be present. Patients won't listen, nor will some co-workers. To them, you're both wrong and dumb because you're not telling them what they want to hear. It's what makes working in that field so difficult, and is part of the reason why I dropped my paramedic classes (hopefully a temporary thing...). The most that can be done in these situation is offer the facts, and hope for the best. And when they get mad, we just have to keep trucking on. I hope things get better for you, and I wish you luck on your training!

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5070 Post by Shinoki » Fri Sep 23, 2016 5:56 pm

ARGH. I hate it when teachers mark you absent incorrectly! Like, for god's sake, all the students sit in the same seats... every... single.. day. *smashes head into wall*

I honestly wouldn't mind if I my parents just took care of it like they said they would, but no. They have to nag me over and over again about something that was their problem. Admittedly, I should have probably just talked to the office myself. However, when people say they'll take care of something, I expect them to do so even if they say it under the coercion of the whining of their annoying teenage daughter.

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