Get that thing off your chest... Now...

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Ghost of Crux
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5191 Post by Ghost of Crux » Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:45 am

Dark Sentinel wrote:[original post]
Man.
I don't know if this helps but 1) you just did Ren'py vode, anyone can do that:
I spent 1 month trying to change GUI for my project. My intention? To move the name box. It took one month to learn just that. Trust me, the ability to understand what the heck is happening and how to pull off artistic visions is no joke and is not something anyone would overlook, especially not artists and writers. Oftentimes we NEED people like you to even get the project looking presentable; don't understate the importance of something seemingly so simple.

2) VNs are long-term projects, no matter the scope. It's understandable that you might end up finding no real projects you want to settle on; perhaps try something small for that idea? A short script? Just sketches? You don't have to commit to every idea you have, nor should you force yourself to doing something you don't like. You're not a failed creator just because you subconsciously realize that perhaps it won't be a finished project-- that's called managing time and not jumping to the first thing that comes to mind and dumping it.

3) Writing is not easy. I've won 5+ NaNoWriMos, have participated in 100k in 100 days. I wrote less than 8k words script for my NaNoRenO project. I'm still working on it, 4 months later, and my word count is still at 17k. 14k is not "only", and it's not a fail. It took me 3 months to write that much.

You have very high standards, but it seems to have placed a great strain. I mean, I know what you mean-- I'm at that phase myself, and it takes regular chats with a friend who's actually a game dev to whack me and remind me that I'm one person with limited energy. But 1) failing to make your first project as grand as it could be is not failure; you've gotten to a phase most hasn't. 2) Being part of a team means being part of a team-- even if you don't feel significant, the others around you have you in their team because they CAN'T do what you're doing. 3) Wanting to make a big game is not a failure of learning from experience. Wisdom is knowing that something might not be the best course of action and actively trying to not do it; it's not having dreams, even if unrealistic, beaten out of you. You haven't failed.

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text-- I hope I see you around, or at least that you've continued on any of your projects, VNs or otherwise! Good luck!
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5192 Post by xavimat » Tue Jun 27, 2017 1:47 pm

MomoiroGirl wrote:...
I'm sorry for you. I do not have any advise or wise solution to say to you, but I send to you a big virtual hug and will remember you in my prayers (if that means anything to you; it does to me).

You said that you feel that you are a burden to your family. I can simply say that no one is ever a burden. We all need a lot from other people, and sometimes some of us are able to hide that a little and seem that we are OK on our own. Every one of us is a gift to each other. Maybe we can't always see it, but we are, you also, truly are a gift.


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Cirrocumulus-Cloud
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5193 Post by Cirrocumulus-Cloud » Wed Jun 28, 2017 11:49 am

MomoiroGirl wrote:...
I had to deal with incredibly exhausting sleep problems about half a year ago. Took me ages until I would fall asleep. (I'm talking four to five hours.)
So I can somewhat understand your problematic and sad situation. What helped me was to do some calm Yoga exercises for around 30 minutes before I would even get to bed.
Oh, and I drank calming tea beforehand. I don't know if it will help you out, but it certainly made it a bit easier for me.
It didn't cure the sleep problems, but it made them easier to deal with as I could fight my anxiety before I closed my eyes.
You've got my sympathy, and a virtual hug if you need it. =)

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5194 Post by Ghost of Crux » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:53 pm

It's been months and years of being outcast of my family and I'm honestly finally feeling the salt and bitterness stemming from it, but once again Dad is telling me to create an account for a messenger app and I feel like 8th grade is just going to repeat again :|

I spent 8th grade alone in my home country while my family were outside. Told to make Skype; he only called for mom, who went back to said country after a month. Total radio silence from all of my family afterwards while everyone else in my extended family got regular updates. Same thing happened last year-- fam went to Saudi starting from last year, and it was so hard to get replies from them even if it was over basic necessities like bills. I don't generally bring food up because I'd rather starve than to do that. Dad doesn't reply to my texts for weeks and even months. I stopped texting and replying to him most of the time; it's just not worth it. I still haven't added his number to my contact list.

Then he had the gall to tell Mom to tell me to text him more often :| Didn't even bother to do anything on his part or to TELL ME HIMSELF.

I'm pissed again now.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5195 Post by MomoiroGirl » Sat Jul 01, 2017 2:41 am

xavimat wrote:...
Thanks. Well, I'm sure that they to some degree do care, but I do know that they think their life would be easier in a world where I wasn't in the family. My mom once indirectly admitted she would not have had me, if she could go back. The only reason she really seems to care is because I remind her of herself apparently. Thank you for your words though at any rate. Don't worry about your English, it's better than many native speakers'.
Cirrocumulus-Cloud wrote:...
Yeah, I'm also at that amount of hours, if I even do fall asleep. And if I do, I'll usually wake up after a few hours and not be able to fall asleep again. I can see how tea would at least help calm down. Which is also one of the bigger problems at the moment. Sometimes I break down crying because I can't sleep... I guess I could try the tea at least. Thanks! I also found once that I got up to practice guitar a bit, which helped too. I can't play too loud though, since I'm in an apartment complex.

At the very least I miraculously got my tablet to work again, so at least I'm back to being able to draw!

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5196 Post by FluffyCakeFactory » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:56 am

Lately I wonder where my life is going...

I think I never had to work hard in my life. And if I did, I just gave up quickly. Except maybe trying to be like everyone else, trying to understand other people. I tried really hard to get accepted by people, I tried to understand without anyone telling me. But I wasn't able to make friends till late in middle school when one of the girls who always warned others about me moved away. It's not like I was bullied, people experienced much worse than me and let's face it - I was and will always be a weirdo. Anyway, after getting friends and being around people more often, I got tired and stopped putting too much effort into blending in. Still these friendships have lasted until this day. I still very much care about my friends' opinions, try to make them feel well - but not if that'd make me a person I dislike. This might sound positive and I thought so too... until a few weeks ago a friend blocked me everywhere without explaining what was going on. After being really sad for a long time, mutuals told me he took my jokes seriously. I said things like "we'd be a great couple" but not because I was interested in him that way, just because spending time with him was fun and we often had similar thoughts. But he took it seriously, he told people he was offended by anyone even slightly implying he could have the slightest romantic interest in me. But I was so dumb and didn't notice anything. So, nothing has changed. I'm still horrible with people, if someone isn't literally crying in front of me I can't even tell they are sad. But even then people don't only cry when they are sad. People are so complicated and it really overwhelms me...
So I'm a social failure. But at least I must be intelligent as I never had to study for school, never did my homework, rarely spoke in class and still had good grades right? Well, university proved that theory as false. I'm horrible at learning by heart which might make me fail economy class. Then I wouldn't be able to get my degree in software engineering. Then again maybe that wouldn't be too bad since I feel like I didn't learn anything. I can't code well, can't tell which kind of diagram to use and how to draw it. Even though I passed these classes with flying colours. I'm not sure if I am capable of writing a bachelor's thesis even though I already spoke to a professor about it. Now I think working on embedded software is too much for me.
But who would even want to employ someone like me, unable to talk to other people, anxious, slow and not that good at programming?

I'm really just a lazy and whiny bitch. According to my (ex) friend I'm also selfish and arrogant. Lately I can't even keep up with cleaning my room or eating healthy or replying to friend's messages. I wish I could at least get into the habit of getting up before noon or washing my face every night. I so wish I could pull myself together for once but apparently I'm even too dumb to have a daily life. I'm just a burden on other people: my family, friends and society. It looks like this will never change.

If anyone reads all of this: thank you and sorry for wasting your time with my whining. Still... I truly appreciate it. It was good to get my thoughts out, even though I know they are self-centered and I'm creating issues which aren't there in the first place...

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5197 Post by LateWhiteRabbit » Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:49 pm

FluffyCakeFactory wrote: I'm really just a lazy and whiny bitch. According to my (ex) friend I'm also selfish and arrogant. Lately I can't even keep up with cleaning my room or eating healthy or replying to friend's messages. I wish I could at least get into the habit of getting up before noon or washing my face every night. I so wish I could pull myself together for once but apparently I'm even too dumb to have a daily life. I'm just a burden on other people: my family, friends and society. It looks like this will never change.
You might want to look into getting help. Those are all classic symptoms of clinical depression. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain. A prescription anti-depressant can clear all that up and give you your motivation and life back. Talk to your general practicioner and he can refer you to a specialist who can determine what's best for you.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5198 Post by pyopyon » Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:14 pm

So many money problems at one time. It's making me feel really down.
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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5199 Post by SkinMedley » Wed Jul 19, 2017 2:55 pm

I think too much and do too less.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5200 Post by kylemercury » Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:40 pm

There's so many people who want to get things off their chest =0.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5201 Post by silversporksama » Wed Jul 26, 2017 1:58 am

I haven't had any time for my personal projects because of uni, and the latter decided to totally screw me over over the past year :/
so while I've got some (questionable) sweet time back in my hands, I'm definitely not in the state to churn out as much progress as usual...

Apart from that, I'm really feeling out of it in regards to my social life. I do have close friends who are pretty much always there for me (though I barely get to see them nowadays), but I feel estranged from so many others I used to talk to a lot (despite them obviously still wanting to talk and hang out with me? there's still that mutual strong friendship, it's just kind of weird on my end). It's just a really lonely feeling and while I have been trying to make some more friends to talk to and fight odd that loneliness, I've never really been good at that. I'm an awkward introvert even when I'm online... o|-<

I really don't know what direction my life is going, and while I'm getting lots of support from my family and I'm really hoping for the best, I'm struggling even with the things that usually make me happy. Maybe these wounds still need some more time. Just really have to stay hopeful and keep doing what I love, I guess.
Y'all stay strong too, okay? Best of luck on everyone's endeavors, be they big or small or anything in between.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5202 Post by AshenhartKrie » Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:45 am

my mother and i are living in poverty and i barely have the energy to do commissions on top of my schoolwork. I can't afford to quit school because I can't get a job because I'm disabled and we don't have a car. I can't catch an uber or get a taxi because we live so far out of town that it would be nearly $100 for a round trip, and the bus is a school bus so only runs on mondays - fridays and only once each way.
i don't know what to do and im falling behind on everything (ntm i dont even get that much interest in my art for commissions unless i actively go looking). its just
really disheartening and frustrating. we never eat enough we have nothing to do except sit in the house and hate each other more and more. we're a burden on the rest of the family, who doesn't even want to help us because they're too good for us. the only people who do anything are my grandparents and they can't really afford to. mums sister who makes a ***load because she's a babysitter for rich people who can't be bothered to be a parent wouldn't even dream of helping us even though i know for a fact that she can afford it i mean WHO NEEDS THREE ROSE GOLD IPHONE. SHE BOUGHT A PAIR OF EXPENSIVE GOLD WORK BOOTS THE OTHER DAY. WORK BOOTS. THAT ARE GOLD.
she and the rest of the family flaunt their money and finance while my mother and i struggle to pay the bills and the rent and never have anything leftover for ANYTHING leisurely, even though sometimes we just need to unwind. the most calming thing i do these days is play a videogame where i can shoot people in the head
i just. god i want it to end

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5203 Post by Evy » Sat Jul 29, 2017 8:36 am

I really miss going out with friends, but I have no money or means of transportation, and... it probably doesn't help that my local friends don't treat me too well, and my friends that do all live across the border.

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5204 Post by mugenjohncel » Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:09 am

They fixed my internet all right... they said my internet will become faster when I upgrade my plan to 50Mbps they said... then why am I getting this result in speed test!?
is_slow.jpg
is_slow.jpg (66.03 KiB) Viewed 1185 times
Seriously! The Philippine Government should do something about this stupid internet duopoly in the Failippines. Too Expensive Too Slow 😡

"BOOM" (Disappears)

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Re: Get that thing off your chest... Now...

#5205 Post by SkinMedley » Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:19 pm

My sleep schedule is so irregular... I feel like a zombie...

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