Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - FILM IS OUT!

[Sapphi]

Without ever having read the book it's based on, I went to see this movie tonight. I went solely because I thought the premise was fabulous and was curious about how it would be executed. The critics absolutely hated it, but I thought it was great. It reminded me a lot of something Kouta Hirano would write (pretty much Hellsing and Drifters combined actually) except without his trademark silliness. It's also kind of like G Gundam in that it's delightfully over-the-top but takes itself dead seriously (and a particular scene in the forest...) !

What to Expect:
- Lots of unnecessary gore (yeah, whatever, it's the genre)
- Ridiculously deafening sound effects
+ Delightful period clothing including AWESOME LONGCOATS BILLOWING IN THE BREEZE
+ Abraham Lincoln spinning his tricked-out axe around like a boss
+ Glasses of all varieties
+ Costume and scenery pr0n in general
+ Poetic justice gets served
+ Wild horses being used as weapons
+ Uniforms EVERYWHERE

In case the historical setting, inherent silliness and delicious fanservice aren't convincing enough, here is when you know it's a good movie: I love movie theater popcorn. I adore it. I would eat it every day if I could, which is why it's a good thing I practically never go to the theater or I would be really unhealthy. I bought a very expensive small size popcorn. They told me I would get THREE free refills. Free refills, I said, heck yes. I am so doing that.

Then I got to the bottom of the bucket and had to wait for a slow/boring part so I could go out and get more. The part never came. I sat in my seat the whole time and never minded at all!

So, yeah, if you're on the fence about whether to see it or not (read: if the silly premise hasn't already turned you off) then do it!

[LVUER]

Lesson of the story: Never buy expensive popcorn, you'll never use those free refills anyway...

[J. Datie]

Why see that film when we could all watch the far superior looking, straight-to-DVD Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies? I mean, just based on the cast list, this is what you can expect in this film:

- Lincoln's parents
- Zombie
- A guy from Massachusettes
- Zombie
- Zombie
- A lawyer
- Zombie
- Zombie
- Zombie
- Zombie
- Zombie
- Zombie
- Zombie

I mean, when has Asylum Films ever made a bad movie?

[Yakkety]

Abe VS. Zombies ey? Downloading it right now, even though it's from The Asylum, which only makes bad (but hilarious) B-movies...

I think I'll go see Abe Vampire Hunter in about 2 weeks with some friends...

[Sapphi]

Why see that film when we could all watch the far superior looking, straight-to-DVD Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies? I mean, just based on the cast list, this is what you can expect in this film:

LOL! Is that by the same people who made Transmorphers to cash in on the Transformers films? I never watched it, but I saw the DVD at Blockbuster (before they went out of business... *sigh*... goodbye my childhood...) and just laughed.

[J. Datie]

Why see that film when we could all watch the far superior looking, straight-to-DVD Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies? I mean, just based on the cast list, this is what you can expect in this film:

LOL! Is that by the same people who made Transmorphers to cash in on the Transformers films? I never watched it, but I saw the DVD at Blockbuster (before they went out of business... *sigh*... goodbye my childhood...) and just laughed.

Yep. They also produced such other modern classics such as Snakes on a Train, The Day the Earth Stopped, and Battle of Los Angeles (there's a really small "of" in there, so that makes it somehow not copyright infringement.) I actually rented their version of War of the Worlds, which I guess was too busy not developing characters to explain why all the aliens died at the end. They just sorta... stopped living.

Oh, and on an on-topic note, yes. Abe Lincoln fighting vampires. I feel this is an idea that is far too stupid to actually fail. Possibly historically accurate as well. I mean, I don't think anyone's got proof this didn't happen, right?

[Hijiri]

I still need to read the book ;_;
Oh well, I'm up for over-the-top movies, so I guess I'll enjoy this one.

[LVUER]

LOL! Is that by the same people who made Transmorphers to cash in on the Transformers films?

That... actually happens to me. When I was browsing in a video store, I catched the glimpse of Transformers in a DVD box. I thought "Cool, so they already launched the DVD version" and so I bought it. But when I was at home and was going to watch it "WTF /@&*%^) This is TRANSMORPHERS! Not Transformers!!!" Fortunately, the store understood and let me trade it with other title.

[LateWhiteRabbit]

I'm actually wondering how this film is expected to do overseas - by that I mean, isn't the joke sort of lost if you aren't American? I mean, it looks like hilariously bad propaganda to other countries, right? But if you're American, you've been raised all your life with stories of how Abraham Lincoln is like the greatest president and guy ever - he's almost some mythical figure at this point. When pressed, most Americans will declare Lincoln their favorite president, in surveys going back over sixty years, he ranks number 1 all but eight times, when he comes in 2nd.

So it's kind of like a joke of over emphasis - "You think he was great? You don't know HOW great!" It's hyperbole that mocks American worship at the same time it revels in it. It banks on some absurdity, which I guess foreign audiences could enjoy, but it also tickles a little bit of childlike wonder in Americans where we whisper to ourselves - "Yeah, I could see Lincoln doing that . . . ." - then hurriedly looking around to make sure none of our friends overheard us.

I'm planning to see it this week, since, heck, I could watch a bad-ass Lincoln doing ANYTHING all day, let alone killing vampires. But what do all you non-American's think of it?

[Sapphi]

I'm actually wondering how this film is expected to do overseas - by that I mean, isn't the joke sort of lost if you aren't American? I mean, it looks like hilariously bad propaganda to other countries, right?

I wondered that too, at first... then I decided it was okay. In Japan, there are so many retellings of feudal Japanese history where they pick historical figures like cherries and throw them all into a bucket of fun.* And we fans in America enjoy them anyway, even though we didn't grow up learning about those guys in school. But even if nobody else but Americans like it... it's nice to have a "truly" American movie once in awhile. (I'm also a kid whose favorite president was Lincoln. Actually, in high school, my class took an awesome trip to Springfield where we got to walk through his house. Super awesome!)

*Ginga Sengoku Gun'yuuden Rai is my favorite by far. It's feudal Japan IN SPACE. Hot-blooded samurai pilot giant futuristic ships, Masamune is a gun-toting woman, there is a guy with a tiger head, and like every episode there's at least one time where someone's yelling YOOOOSH!

[Lishy]

Lincoln their favorite president, in surveys going back over sixty years, he ranks number 1 all but eight times, when he comes in 2nd.

I'm part American, but Lincoln is second to me. First has to be George Washington!

[LateWhiteRabbit]

Lincoln their favorite president, in surveys going back over sixty years, he ranks number 1 all but eight times, when he comes in 2nd.

I'm part American, but Lincoln is second to me. First has to be George Washington!

In all-time surveys, Lincoln is #1, FDR is #2, and George Washington is #3. Someone really needs to make a movie where a future president uses a time machine to assemble an "A-Team" of them all to go be ridiculously awesome together. Introducing the Axe-man, Wheels, and the Cherry Chopper!

[Samu-kun]

I was just about to suggest an Avengers-type movie, where Abe, JFK, Nixon, and Obama team up to take down the undead. Years of film experience tells me that the sole black man's chances of survival are not so good.

[Hijiri]

I am dissapointed in the lack of Teddy Rosevelt in this thread...

[Sapphi]

I am dissapointed in the lack of Teddy Rosevelt in this thread...

Hmm, yeah, it is lacking him, isn't it?



KA-ZOWIE! FIXED!