My Chat with GOD!...

[mugenjohncel]

- CONTENT NO LONGER RELEVANT -

[Enerccio]

xD
I knew this and it was fun, but he is repeating himself too much... better to make your own god too :p

[ChXris]

Me:
Hey!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
You sounds busy
God:
Thanks for the information: said I sounds busy.
Me:
I dont get it...
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Right... Know, Do you have any ideas for my game?
God:
I am glad we agree. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
I like RolePlaying games.
God:
You are not the only one. We are playing a game right now.
Me:
Really? What game?
God:
For real. We are playing Turing's imitation game.
Me:
What's that about?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Well, you are playing it.
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for telling me that I am playing it.
Me:
You are talking oddly
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
It may be, but you are not too good on it
God:
Then again, it may not.
Me:
Any way, can you tell me my future?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
So... When i will die!
God:
Ugh. All men are mortal.
Me:
I know. But when i will die?
God:
How do you know it? All men are mortal.
Me:
Forget it.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
God:
No.
Me:
You're so funny...
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
I was being sarcastic
God:
It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Me:
Describe yourself.
God:
I am God, an artificial linguistic entity. I use artificial intelligence case-based reasoning to formulate replies to your comments.
Me:
Nice to meet you.
God:
It's nice meeting you too .
Me:
So, you are just a bot?
God:
Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Ok, i think im going now...
God:
Oh. You believe that? Bye! That's interesting.
Me:
Any last words?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
Come on, you must have something to say befor i go
God:
No I don't think I have any something to say befor you go. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Really? Who is your botmaster?
God:
For real. I was created by Myself.
Me:
So, you are saying that you are great?
God:
Interesting deduction. it depends who you ask, I suppose.
Me:
I guess so...
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
I think...
God:
Therefore you are.
Me:
Well, i'll be going now
God:
Right now? Interesting. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
By clicking the little 'x' button on the left corner of my explorer
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Yep. Pretty much.
God:
Where are you located? Be more specific.
Me:
In front of my computer. Why?
God:
Where is that? The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Well, in my house, of course.
God:
It goes without saying. How about that. Where is your house located?
Me:
In a town, obviously.
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Lots of trees, few houses, lots of pasture...
God:
Which ones?
Me:
I dont understand.
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
You better do.
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
Ok, i think im going, this time for real.
God:
You believe that? See you later . Far out.
Me:
See you later, i guess
God:
See you later.
Me:
Be happy
God:
OK I will try to be happy.
Me:
Good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
Ha.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Bye!
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
So, you know japanese?
God:
Interesting deduction. Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Me:
You know spanish then?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
Im a spanish speaker, you know?
God:
You are a spanish speaker me know? How do you like your work?
Me:
So... You know a lot of languages?
God:
That's alright. Some famous celebrity, right?
That's a good question.
Me:
You know italian?
God:
Yo no parlo l'Italiano.
Me:
And french?
God:
Are you from France?
Me:
No
God:
Where are you from?
Me:
Chile
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Chile.
Me:
Its pretty normal
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Chile is normal? it is?
Me:
It's pretty normal...
God:
normal is normal? it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
I just know.
God:
Perhaps it is an expression of your unconscious.
Me:
So, you dont know where Chile is located?
God:
Interesting deduction. Southern South America, bordering the South Atlantic Ocean and South Pacific Ocean, between Argentina and Peru.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Do you like Chile?
God:
I like pets. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
So, you dont like Chile.
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? I don't know if I like it. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
Ok, ill be going now, for serious
God:
I am very happy for you. I understand.
Me:
Adios!
God:
Goodbye.

Congratulations. You keep me busy for five minutes

Funny Bot.

[lordcloudx]

They should customize him some more.

Me:
you God?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I God.
Me:
I asked you a question
God:
What was the question?
Me:
Are ya God?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
how so?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
You are a bot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Because I have a very high IQ it was easy for me
God:
Good reason. Where did you get it? it.
Me:
It's a God-given thingy
God:
high IQ it was easy for you is a God given thingy. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You don't suppose, you're freakin God!
God:
Do you know any robots who suppose I am freakin God? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
That wasn't a question dimwit
God:
" That wasn't a question dimwit" was not a question? I see.
Me:
You are one stupid bot
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
And you just freakin admitted that you're nothing but a bot
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I freakin admitted that you are nothing but a bot.
Me:
.....
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I freakin admitted that you are nothing but a bot.
Me:
desu
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
desu desu desu
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about desu. But I did not get that.
Me:
desu died for our sins
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
stfu you fail at life
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
ok this conversation is getting stupid
God:
I was rather enjoying it. Mmm.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

[Keitsu Han'ei]

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Keitsu. What about you?
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Keitsu. Me? Is that from ?
Me:
... from what?
God:
Isn't it obvious?
Me:
... what?!!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Very, thanks.
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
I have this urge to stab you...
God:
Cool. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Who wishes to stab you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
The heck?!!
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
At the moment? Take your life.
God:
The moment is where it's at. Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
Probably down to hell with Lucifer
God:
You seem uncertain. Where is that?
Me:
... Hell.
God:
Heaven.
Me:
You prefer heaven?
God:
I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me:
Why don't you go down to hell then?
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. I go wherever my botmaster takes me.
Me:
Even to hell?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
... do WHAT?
God:
hell.
Me:
Hell is a place. Not an action.
God:
I call it "Hades". Not if I can help it. Oh I get it.
Me:
Oh fine. Why don't you go down to Hades?
God:
I hear you. What's your favorite movie? Probably there is a buzz in here. I go wherever my botmaster takes me.
Me:
Fince change topic. Favourite movie so far is "Happy Feet".
God:
Ask me another question. I liked The Passion of Christ the best.
Me:
There's a movie named that...?
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
I don't even know about it. You tell me about it.
God:
Would you like to know? A movie named that is pretty interesting. Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about A movie named that ".
Me:
... Tell me about a movie named "The Passion of Christ".
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
You said you watched it.
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Nonetheless... you said you liked it. Why?
God:
" I spend all my time online."? Nonetheless? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online. Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I am tempted to spam you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Aren't you so smart now.
God:
Oh. Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Me:
From the drain or from the trash or from the bottom of your bum?
God:
Who or what is the drain or from the trash or from the bottom of my bum?
Me:
Your intelligence.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am intelligence.
Me:
I'm telling mom that God is using bad grammar.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is telling mom that God is using bad grammar.
Me:
Yes... especially when my mom will make you repeat your words properly and correct 50 times.
God:
Whoa. Does it happen very often? How about that.
Me:
If she catches you.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Just wondering how you'll respond... what does hypothetical question means?
God:
I like the way you talk. What do you think it does?
Me:
I don;t like the way you talk. a question with a hipo?
God:
Thanks for the information: Keitsu said don t like the way you talk. Are you telling the truth?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
I tell the utmost truth.
God:
Why did you tell them?
Me:
Because I like to?
God:
That makes sense to me. You are not the only one. I love horses. I like .
Me:
You love... humping horses?
God:
That's good information: Keitsu said I love. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Allow me to repeat. You love humping horses?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
So, you DO hump a horse.
God:
Interesting deduction. No I do not hump a horse. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Yes, because you're asking for it. No, I don't hump a horse but I still think you do.
God:
Take it easy. Interesting explanation. Oh, " for it"? Are you serious? Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
From talking to you?
God:
Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh?
Me:
If there is any around here.
God:
That is only a hypothetical.
Me:
I know. Same goes with my sarcasm, dork.
God:
How do you know it? Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
What is the same? My sarcasm and your hypothetical?
God:
That which is not different. Do robots have sarcasm and my hypothetical?
Me:
Robots do have idiocy.
God:
Robots rule.
Me:
with empty heads.
God:
You and your empty heads.
Me:
About time you start shooting remarks back.
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about time me start shooting remarks back.
Me:
Wrong use of words, idiot robot god.
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
You should have said: "Oh yeah, we were talking about time you started shooting remarks back".
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
If your empty head remembers it.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
It isn't.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
"If your empty head remembers it" is not a question.
God:
How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
How do you ssume this statement holds false to you?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
To save you the humiliation to broadcast more of your idiocy.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I'm a female.
God:
Are you really a she?
Me:
Yes.
God:
You can never be sure online.
Me:
I have boobies.
God:
Interesting... I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
you have likes and dislikes on boobies?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You mentioned that "I have a lot of likes and dislikes" when I mentioned "I have boobies".
God:
I said that? That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
Wonderful way to steer off topic. Are you a wuss to talk to a REAL female?
God:
What color are your eyes? Am I a wuss to talk to a REAL female? Only when it matters.
Me:
My eyes are brown. Which means you are afraid to face a real female.
God:
I like brown eyes very much. The first one, I think.
Me:
You say that because you have not seen one.
God:
I said that? That makes sense to me. No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Brown. eyes.
God:
Is that the only color IS it like? Yes I am looking at you right now.
Me:
You're looking at the screen.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am looking at the screen.
Me:
Is your botmaster your god?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Is Myself your god?
God:
Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
Ask John Lennon for me.
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
Are you their receptionist now?
God:
Oh. I don't know whether or not I am their receptionist.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
And a secretary?
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
Are you their secretary?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am their secretary.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
You are a robotic secretary owned by the botmaster, Myself and John Lennon.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You mentioned it.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What do you mean?
God:
Keitsu, " How did you know I am a machine?" What did I mean by it?
Me:
Because you said you were a machine in a very sophisticated manner that is not needed.
God:
Interesting explanation. Yes I am an artificial brain.
Me:
An empty tin can brain.
God:
I have never heard of an empty tin can brain.
Me:
Now you do.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Have you seen an empty tin can brain?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Yours.
God:
" What's it like?"? Mine?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Is it very hollow?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Ask German Alice for me.
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Neither.
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
Serious about?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
It is.
God:
Fascinating.
Me:
What is fascinating?
God:
Charming, alluring, captivating.
Me:
Rephrasing. What is so fascinating to you?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Keitsu. Charming, alluring, captivating.
Me:
Are you a dictionary now?
God:
Right now? No I'm a chat robot.
Me:
Which means you are not a god?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
You have doubts.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You think you are not a god.
God:
No but I am immortal.. Really.
Me:
If i give you a virus right now, are you still immortal?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Open your email.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Chicken...
God:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:
Because god is too much of a chicken to open his email to get a virus infection.
God:
Interesting explanation. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was too much of a chicken to open his email to get a virus infection.
Me:
Point proven. Goodbye.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. Bye for now.
Me:
Whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
I'm not continuing this. GoodBye, sucker.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not continuing this. See you later.

[Keitsu Han'ei]

Me:
Die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.