eBay is eVil

[NetGenSuperstar]

What do you get when you put me, a credit card, the internet, an endless supply of caffeine, and over $8000 in savings in the same room? Impulse buys out the yin-yang. Speaking of which, can any doctors out there help me find exactly where the yin-yang is? I at least want to know where these impulse buys are coming from so I can stop them at the source. In case you can't tell, I'm high on caffeine right now. Two bottles of Vanilla Coke will do that to you. Since I'm ingesting more caffeine in a day than anyone should ingest in a year, it's no wonder that I do stupid things so quickly I don't stop to think until it's too late. eNter eBay.

Giving me internet access and a credit card is just about the stupidest thing anyone can do; add Coke to the mix, and you've just created a monster. Usually, what I buy on the internet isn't totally useless, and just makes me think, "What the hell was I thinking?" before realizing I could have done worse. But what if I bought something so terrible, so God-awful that it makes me almost ashamed to call myself human? Does such a thing exist? Can it exist? In fact, it can. And for the price of GBP $36.52 (£17.74, €26.44, 元276.153, ₩33,408, I have to stop with the caffeine), I now own this item. Perhaps you know about it, perhaps you don't. If you have no idea what this item is, do not research it on Wikipedia; simply consider yourself lucky. I have owned this item for exactly one week now. I have not used it, and I hope I never have to. I bought it for the sake of owning a piece of gaming history. But at what cost? Besides the 37 dollars, 33,000 Won, 276 Yuan Renminbi, what-have-you, I feel like a part of me died. The part that defies instinct and induces logical reasoning, the part that allows me to retain some dignity when I debate whether to do something incredibly insane. I am willing to destroy a bit more of my dignity to warn others of the dangers that face them, if they should give eBay a chance to take advantage of their gullibility. Sure, I can brag in my forums and small circle of gamer-friends about how I own what is considered by many to be the worst game ever made, but in doing so I have lost a part of my soul. And 1,465 Indian Rupee.

Here it is, my worst nightmare come true. It is the worst game ever made.

If you'll excuse me, it's time for my cold shower.

[DrakeNavarone]

Here it is, my worst nightmare come true. It is the worst game ever made.

I clearly remember once owning that E.T. game for Atari... Man, if I still had it, I'd put it up on eBay... people buy anything these days (especially when on a caffeine-induced high)...

[PrettySammy09]

eBay is indeed a pit intended to trap and corner helpless victims with credit cards. I myself have fallen into it multiple times.

But actually, I'm happy with my eBay purchases. But one day, I'll look at my plethora of figurines and DVDs and video games and say to myself, "What the hell were you thinking? You could have used that money for something useful! Like...like...oh wow, Disgaea? Awesome! Let's pop it in! I haven't played this in forever!"

eBay...ahhh.

[n9261andvari]

I have not been affected by the plague that is known as eBay yet...lol. I would shop at other sites and honestly I've only went to eBay once...maybe I should stay away from it.
(*A*) eBay...

Oddly enough in the Transformers movie they learnt the human language through eBay. Lol, was that a pun or what?

[monele]

Link for the CDI? XD... Oh dear, you've gone to great length here

[Sailor Kitty]

OMFG. OMFG.

I *really* hope we learnt ourself a lesson there.´
Only thing I ever bought off ebay was a mutsu.
(Mutsu is a robot fish and so darn cute!)
But that game is....
It's a product of evil, probably put you into trance so you'd buy it.
But you are not alone. Give me infinite money, amazon.com and jbox, and a box of cherry coke, and within a week the mailbox will be overloaded. Unsupervice it and I'll have a small collection of yaoi games.
But sincerly, and this comes from a die-hard zelda-fan,
that is not a real zelda game. Rest easy.

[NetGenSuperstar]

Whether it's a real Zelda game or not (it's not, it's really, really not), it's still a terrible purchase, and I had to warn others in the hopes that eBay does not consume your soul, as it has mine.

It actually gets worse, though:
- Since I have The Faces Of Evil now, I have to get The Wand Of Gamelon to complete the collection. (The horror, the horror)
- I still don't have a CD-i to play either on (actually, that's probably a good thing)

[Showsni]

It could be worse.

I bought all three CDi Zelda games from eBay... And a Philip's CDi system to play them on. (Can you spot the fanatical Zelda fan? I have a timeline theory!)

Truth be told, I don't find them that bad... But then, I'm generally useless at criticising anything. The third one, Zelda's Adventure, is nearly always held as better than the other two.

And oh, hi, I'm new.

[NetGenSuperstar]

Welcome to the forums.

I've heard that Zelda's Adventure is the best of the three, but that's not saying much. Superman 64 is better than those games, for cryin' out loud. Speaking of which, the originality in Zelda's Adventure is astounding. The setting is in a medieval land called Tolemac. Ooh, Tolemac! That's like Camelot, but backwards! Random word generators can come up with better names.

And that's another thing that bothers me. What the hell happened to Hyrule? I've heard it mentioned in some in-game sequences, but The Faces Of Evil apparently takes place in Koridai. Where the hell is Koridai, and why is Ganon there all of a sudden? And why does Ganon look more like Shrek than an evil being taking over the world? I also happen to remember that the first person you speak to in that game gives you your sword by basically saying, "I caught a big crab! Here's a weapon!" The dialog seems more like phrases written on post-it notes stuck to a dartboard, that the developers chose to assemble in the order they were hit. Nothing about these games was good, or even mediocre. If it was not a Zelda game, it would still be just as bad, but they had to go ahead and try to ruin a great game with their crappy story, dumb-looking 99¢ Russian animation, and a game system that looks like a Betamax recorder. That's why I hate myself so much for buying this game, and actually wanting its counterpart. I had to warn the public before they did the same.

EDIT: I should also note, that I congratulate you on not thinking they're all that bad. I'll never understand how you can play those games and not vomit your large intestine through your nose, but at least they have not ruined your life as they have begun to do to me. I only hope that, given time, I can conquer these games' power, and finish them all without any permant psychological damage, just to say I did.

[Showsni]

Oh, I'm happy enough playing/watching/reading pretty much anything. And I have played worse... For example, when I got the CDi it came with a free mini golf game from the ebay person. Now that was a bad game. Press the button at the right time, and the ball goes in!

Although the dialogue isn't as... laughable... as the Zelda games. Prince of badness? What on earth does "Squadala" mean?

They do have a few inspired moments though. Heart pieces in this game - are often actual hearts ripped from dead bosses. The tournament style "dungeon" in ZA is a nice idea, though could be better implemented.

Hyrule seems okay in both FoE and WoG... basically like in Oracles, where you leave to save Labrynna and Holodrum instead. (Only here, it's Koridai and Gamelon.)

[monele]

I only hope that, given time, I can conquer these games' power, and finish them all without any permant psychological damage

You're going to *play* them? o__o.... I hope you have mental health insurance ^^;