What will you do if you were in my shoes?

[King-sama]

This doesn't sound much like a healthy relationship at all.
You should not say 'yes' all the time, or not joke around ect ect as that means you'll be treading on egg shells all the time, but maybe learn what their sense of humour is like, find out what their trigger topics are, find out more about the other. For example, with one of my friends I quite happily joke about feminism and the such, but with other friends, it's a serious issue that I don't joke about. You see what I mean?

And if your sense of humour/personalities clash that much, maybe cutting them off is the best thing you can do to keep you all happy.

I am too indifferent with having a healthy relationships, its like normal for me if the other person took advantage of me it always have been like that with almost everyone.. family friends etc so if doing that going to stopping them from getting offended i wont mind that much even of it made me sad myself..

[Rinima]

I am too indifferent with having a healthy relationships, its like normal for me if the other person took advantage of me it always have been like that with almost everyone.. family friends etc so if doing that going to stopping them from getting offended i wont mind that much even of it made me sad myself..

That can't be good for your mental state at all.
So you being in pain means nothing so long as others are happy is good? Nope, not at all. If these people had any respect for you, they should take your feelings into account as well.

[trooper6]

I am too indifferent with having a healthy relationships, its like normal for me if the other person took advantage of me it always have been like that with almost everyone.. family friends etc so if doing that going to stopping them from getting offended i wont mind that much even of it made me sad myself..

You should go see a therapist to work through your feelings in a safe space and to have someone give you some more perspectives.

[King-sama]

That can't be good for your mental state at all.
So you being in pain means nothing so long as others are happy is good? Nope, not at all. If these people had any respect for you, they should take your feelings into account as well.

as long as other people wont pop and tell me that I have to learn to say no or I should care more about my own and put myself first etc then it would be fine. no respect is also fine, I am used to it now >_>

[ColaCat]

Hmmm. Sounds a lot like a situation I used to be in.

I agree with what papillon has been saying. But may I also add a few words of my own.

Don't pretend.

It sounds silly, but often it's the main cause of the problem. You're pretending to be (for example) less sulky, by smiling more to your sister. Are you actually happy though? Are you actually *wanting* to smile? If the answer is no, and from what I have read I think it might be, then why continue? Because you want them to be happy. You are used to being used/suffering to make others happy.

Well let me tell you, and this is based on experience, it's not going to do anyone any good at all. At the end of the day, you're still unhappy, and the feelings that you were making people feel are completely fake (because you don't actually feel them). Sooner or later, the charade is going to fall apart, you're going to come out the worst, and your family will wish you'd just been honest.

Some people react to things in certain ways. My sister, for example, doesn't like people making jokes about her - and is easily offended. I, on the other hand, have a sense of humour that is very dry, and often involves laughing at other people (not with any bad intentions, more in a "I can't believe you did that! hahaha kind of way).
My sister used to get upset by it.
My father found it funny.
See? It's all about perspective on the situation. My sister saw it as me being mean, while my father saw it as me making a joke.

Now, however, I know that my sister doesn't really like those jokes, so I don't tell them as often (or if I do, I make sure she knows it's a joke). My sister knows that my kind of humour involves making jokes she doesn't find funny, so she's learnt to just brush it off - because we've had to sit down and explain to each other what we do and don't like.
Once your family understand you, then they'll understand how to react. If a friend is abusing you - stop. Tell them plain and clear what you don't like.
Just make sure that you don't lose your cool. Shouting at people, raising your voice, or just generally seeming annoyed will get you nowhere (trust me).
At the same time though, you have to remember that everyone sees things in different ways, it's all about perspective. They may not understand where you're coming from. In which case, you have to be the bigger person, and step down first (eg. No, I'm sorry but I don't want to do that because....). Sure, they may get annoyed or upset by it at first, but in time, they should learn to listen.
Part of it is often denial. Especially if your family is very strict, they may see things a certain way and not want to change their values/except that you are different.

Oh, and about the therapist thing, I don't know where you live so I can't really comment on that.
I can, however, recommend something called mindfulness. It's about finding inner peace (sounds really hippyish I know, but it honestly works). Learning to swim with the tide, rather than against it.

[Catalyst Edge Gaming]

Be yourself and if whoever you're around doesn't like who you are, it's probably better that they're not in your life (A lesson I learned the hard way) But honestly it's important to learn to like yourself first, that way no matter who walks in and out of your life, there is always a constant; Your own appreciation of yourself and the confidence that when some people who you might care about, but don't fit into your life walks out, someone else who fits better in your life will.

If someone is too sensitive for you to be around constantly, maybe just don't be around them constantly, you don't have to be mean or shrug them off or anything, you can be pleasant, just maybe don't hang around them all of the time. Be around people who appreciate the way you are naturally if you can.

[Griselda Shana]

Maybe you should have been more considerate

[King-sama]

Well, I found this post in the internet who's having the exact problem like what I wanted to say here (which they said it better than me) If anyone still want to bother respond to this (after reading the post from the internet not mine) it's would be welcomed
Here is the post http://www.social-anxiety-community.org ... hp?t=78566

[ColaCat]

Have you read the replies for that thread? They pretty much sum up what I would say.

[King-sama]

I did, but I would like to hear more

[Caveat Lector]

But what else is there to say? Not much else, I don't think.

[trooper6]

I stand by my original comment: You should go to therapy to work through your feelings. Therapists are professionals and can interact with you in real life. We are just random people on the internet.

[King-sama]

I stand by my original comment: You should go to therapy to work through your feelings. Therapists are professionals and can interact with you in real life. We are just random people on the internet.

I wanted to say this from too long, can you stop keep responding to this thread and keep saying that. I can't go to one

Anyways, thank you all

[ColaCat]

I hope you manage to find a balance between taking into consideration how people might react to things you say, and expressing what you think. It's hard, I know, but one day you'll manage to find that mix. ^_^

Also, @trooper6 - sometimes therapists don't help. If it's about the personality of a person, rather than an issue, then they're not much use. Therapists aren't always the "good guys", not to discourage anyone from seeing one but, all the therapists I've been to haven't helped at all. What helps is trying to find a balance (like I said above) in yourself.

[Mad Harlequin]

Hi everyones 8]
It's been a while since i thought about this....well, i am tired of sensitive people, like they get angry about very simple things...they get angry/sercastic if i opposit them my opinion, if i said no or said a simple joke...like i finally feel more confortable talking normally with others but this thing making me feel like i wanna get back to my shell and stop talking to them...or avoid them altogether
What will you do if you were in my place?

Or is it too selfish to think about this??

I am always appreciative for the responses people give me here 8'] thank you a lot you guys are the best

Okay, I've read through this thread, and I have to say, I can relate to this a lot for various reasons, though I won't get into the details for fear of derailing the conversation. If you're curious, King, I encourage you to PM me with questions.

Here's the primary issue as I understand it:

A key part of communication is considering one's audience. A joke that is widely acceptable when told among friends, for example, may not be as welcome in your grandmother's presence. It's important to learn to read a social situation and behave appropriately. This is called tact.

Now, sometimes people might overreact to something you say, and that's okay. It happens. Everyone is sensitive about something. You don't necessarily need to stop talking to people you've upset; a change in subject is often enough to smooth things over. Then, should you meet them in the future, you'll have learned not to bring up X, or to do so more cautiously if it must be done.