Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

[Blue123]

It's good to hear that for now things look as if they are going to let up for you...

Remember, you're better than these guys at the end of the day. You've maintained your sanity and not done anything too rash in the face of it all, and I've taken a look at your works over in your studio. Now, they put their effort into being assholes and trying to look cool, but you put it into improving your skills and learning things. I have high hopes for you.

If all seems bleak, this probably isn't the best of advice, but... flick on the main theme from Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts and lie down, and have a good long think. The music itself should be an inspiration... but perhaps I have slightly weird taste; find a piece of music that inspires you. It doesn't matter what you think about. At times I would think about this pretty complex idea (a story, basically) that I've had for a while, and just tweak it. Hell, I even gave the baddies names of people that I hate. It made me feel real good.

[Cybeat]

@Blue123: Thanks. I felt better after I read your post. I'll just keep working on my main goals ( and take martials arts and learn to be smart). Oh yeah, I also always play games and imagine the enemies are the people I hate. It makes gameplay more fun (SSBB).

[N0UGHTS]

Martial arts is fun, stress-relieving exercise. But don't learn it just so you can beat up the people who are irritating you. :p

[sake-bento]

Hmm...it doesn't seem like it's a good idea to let hate build up in you. Everyone has a sense of justice and some sort of desire for revenge, but truthfully hating someone hurts you a lot more than it does them. And truthfully, I feel bad for someone who has nothing better to do in life than pick on others. It just shows how shallow they are.

[chronoluminaire]

My problem is fixed now. I ended up switching class again. Was I running away from bullies again? Is evading right? I can't remember, but someone told me I can't keep running from bad people. I have to stand up and fix some things myself, because they're everywhere. I don't like fighting, though. I lost in 2 fights. One was while I was protecting my sister, and the other was while I was protecting my "older" brother, and later the bully and my brother ended up being friends and I was the "bad guy".

Evading isn't the best option, but sometimes it's better than the others. Generally, it's good to stand up for yourself and what's important to you, but you have to choose your battles. There are times when just getting away from those who frustrate you is the best thing to do, and this could well have been one of those times. I'm glad that you got away for the moment.

I'd agree with what others have said: try not to let anger and hatred build up inside you, because that can lead to all sorts of problems. It's better to just deliberately avoid the bullies than to let them cause hatred to build up in you. It's better to find constructive ways to channel your anger, or even better, things that you enjoy or that you find rewarding that distract you from your anger.

[Cybeat]

Okay. I'll keep doing what I do now (until someone touches me).

Guess what I saw today. Just when my problems are over, I saw a thug wanna be (I hate posers) picking on a nerd during my weight lifting class. First he was like "Harry Potter! Hey Harry Potter! I'm talking to you!". The other guy was like "I can't hear you. I see your mouth moving, but I can't hear you." while imitating the wanna be's mouth with his hands. First he laughed (along with others who weren't part of it) at the nerd while his fat ass friend laughs even harder to encourage him. The nerd said back to them, "Are you guys little kids? Freshmens?" At this point, I was kinda pissed, but I stayed away. I then heard the wanna be say "Shut the fuck up! Wanna go outside and fight? I'll fuck you up right now!" The nerd ignored, but he persisted. I get mad when people bother me, but I feel even worse when I see others who mind their own business get picked on. I suddenly had a violent thought (throwing the wanna be off the bleachers, with his fat ass friend), but I stayed calm and did nothing. I hope that guy gets what he deserves.

Just wanted to share this moment.

[N0UGHTS]

A nerd? You mean a guy wearing thick-famed glasses, a plaid shirt, and pants pulled up high? Or are you talking about the insanely rich ones like Bill Gates?

(Stereotypes, stereotypes...)

The forum isn't really a place for this. I mean, the community really is centered on beautiful women ADVs, VNs and Romance Sims, not school drama. I think you should consider keeping a diary instead.

[Cybeat]

Uh....the one like Bill Gates, except he isn't rich.

Really? Even in general discussion? Okay, the convo ends here, then. (I don't like diaries, btw.)

[N0UGHTS]

Not even Anne Frank's? Aww...

If "diary" sounds too girly (it just means "log of daily experiences," reallly), then we can settle on the term "journal." XD

[lordcloudx]

Ok, I'm going to make a dissent from the general opinion here. Settling things amicably is always the best option, but you know what? Sometimes the only way to stop bullying is to strike back! Good, hard and unexpected - right in the face.

I'd usually advise you to get a buddy or two to hang around with you and this would be enough to deter any would-be bullies, but that doesn't seem to be an option for you.

Anyhow, your problems seem to be over now, but here' some advice for next time. (This is coming from a very hot-headed and violent person, so take it with a grain of salt. Who knows? Maybe it's an Asian thing, but most kids are taught by their fathers to handle bullying in a similar manner here.)

First option: Shout, "STFU!" as loud as you can. (If they laugh at you, let it slide and take option 2)

Option 2: Let me warn you though, you're going to get hurt, but you're not even supposed to be thinking about this. The only thing that should be on your mind, is that you're going to hurt them a lot.

Stay as still and as quiet as possible, wait for said bullies to start doing whatever bullies do and start heckling you or something, let one of them get within striking distance. Gather power in your fist or feet or wherever... and strike! Do you have a metal pencil case? (Those are excellent, they hurt a lot and also make a lot of noise so more people will see what's happening.) Also, don't just strike once. Strike a lot like you wanna kill the guy and scream a lot. Sudden loud battle cries intimidate even the meanest of bullies. Unless they're in some hardcore gang or frat, normal bullies will usually stop after you show them that you can hurt them too.

Always go for the leader and at least try to hurt him good and then you can run away. Works for me... works in the Philippine setting where bullies regularly carry knuckle dusters, butterfly knives and all sorts of bladed weapons.

This isn't based on some movie. In fact, from my experience, it rarely happens the way it does in movies where the smaller guy gets beat up without even landing a single blow. Keep flailing away (remember to throw your entire body weight behind every punch instead of just throwing your arms and to focus on a contact point.) and what'll usually happen is that you'll either get hit a lot more (because of the lack of experience) and still be standing, or you might find that you're actually on even grounds with the guy once someone comes in to break up the fight. Just remember to keep all your limbs free at all times, if any of your limbs get tied up, you'll lose hard.

Who knows? They might not turn out to be so bad after the fight and might even want to be friends with you. (We have a saying in our local dialect, "Men like to fight as bitter enemies and then become friends.") Not that I'd advise you to become influenced by the wrong kind of people, but there's more to bullies than what the textbooks say or meets the eye, just like everyone else.

You're gonna keep getting pushed around if all you do is run away every time. Just don't try fighting back outside of school, that gets people killed. Bullies usually rely on their larger body mass (yes, like animals) but even they get intimidated if they know that the smaller guy can and will hurt them if provoked.(also like animals)

I used to report to my father whenever I got bullied (He's long-gone). Here's how the conversation usually went.

Me: I got bullied today
Father: And...?
Me: ?
Father: Did you get hurt?
Me: Yes...
Father: Did you hurt them back?
Me: Yep!
Father: Good! Running away is the path of cowards. You have to take the pain, bear it, and hurt them right back.


A bit off-topic: Or... get a pair of rulers, pencils or whatever and do this to their faces.


Note: Don't take that last one seriously.

Also, isn't it kinda wierd being told to fight by a guy who uses a cutesy female avatar?

[Samu-kun]

*whomps lordcloudx with wooden starfish*

You're going to make a horrible father one day... >_>;

[Blue123]

I'm afraid I don't like diaries either. Mostly because I feel like that no-one will ever read it.

Anyway, I remember that, on my birthday I stabbed that guy who was troubling me with an ink pen. And pretty hard as well, it left a pretty good mark on him. IT FELT AWESOME! I've never had problems since, which perhaps show that they're cowards.

EDIT: Actually, listen to Jake, he's a pretty cool guy

[Jake]

You're going to make a horrible father one day... >_>;

Seconded.

Seriously, I don't know what kind of messed-up bullies you get in the Philippines, but yelling "STFU" at a Western bully is exactly the kind of rise they're hoping to get out of you, and it'll just encourage them to do whatever they're doing more.


Violence can work and it can go wrong badly. Some bullies are bullies because they're brash cowards, others are bullies because they're confident they're stronger than everyone else and simply don't have the empathy to care if other people get hurt. And some bullies have older, tougher and/or more friends than you.
Personal Anecdote Theatre: when I was ten, there was a guy near where we lived who would pick on my brother and me; one day I whacked him in the face, and he stopped. But then, a few days later his older sister, who was about sixteen at the time, kicked the crap out of me. I didn't stand a chance against her, because she'd gone through her growth spurt and I hadn't; her reach was about one and a half times mine, not to mention she was significantly stronger. From this point onward she'd casually inflict violence upon me every time she saw me up to the point my family moved about a year later.
Then again, at the age of fifteen or so there was a guy who spent several days 'accidentally' whacking me with his bag at school as he went past, kicking me from behind and so on. One day I lost my rag and left him on the floor of the playground trying to breathe; he got one punch in then ran away and never bothered me again.





Fundamentally, Cybeat, remember - whatever you think, you are doing something to give these guys satisfaction when they bully you, or they wouldn't do it. Switching class is only a temporary solution if you don't fix your attitude, because it's only a matter of time before a new set of guys in your new class will start the same thing, and there are only so many places you can run to.

[Samu-kun]

I'd have to agree with Jake here. Don't listen to Lordcloudx. XD

Bullies prey on the weak. It's probably your disposition that's attracting all the bullies to you. If you have a strong, confident attitude with a bunch of friends to back you up, then I doubt you'll have much more problems with them.

Now, I probably am not the best person to ask for bully advice, because all of my enemies in high school were nerds. Uuuuuu... I still have regrets for not punching one of them in the face. He was a math prodigy who pretty much aced every single math test without studying an hour, while I had to study all night just to keep up to him. Had the most obnoxious, immature, arrogant attitude in the world, as if he could do whatever he wanted and still come out on top of the school. As a matter of fact, he could do whatever he wanted and come out on top. >_>; Not only that, but he had one of the kindest girls in the school as his girlfriend, and another girl I liked also had a crush on him. And due to some miserable chance, he became my lab partner in chem class and he fooled around and burnt my hand just for a laugh. Gah, that was just about the closest I ever came to just punching the damned guy in the face. Instead, I just swore at him like no other and made him do the rest of the lab himself. (I didn't understand it anyways, and he was probably fooling around because he already know all the answers for it anyways. >_>) It would have been pretty epic if I did though. Two top tier students fighting in a fit of jealousy in honors chemistry class, ahhh, that would have made some awesome school gossip. XD

[Der Tor]

when i was a kid i got made fun of and was beaten up all the time, but i never said anything.

One time a ruffian kicked me in the crotch so bad that i had constant pain for years after that...

But i didn't hit back (well not that i might not have wanted to hit him - i was just not able to hit him back anyway).

But when i look back at it now 15 years later... all the things that i regarded as bad back than have actually turned out to be good things... and espacially thosse things that where painfull for me back than they all turned out to be blessings in the end - cause even though they where painfull, after i pulled through the difficulties - i grew stronger and it often set in a series of events and turned into something good in the long run.

Wheras as many of the things that i did egotistically and that appeared to bring me short term enjoyement at that time where actually foolish in the long run.

So often when i face decisions i try to think: "if i where an old man and where to look back at today after 50 years - what decision would i have wanted me to make" or better yet "suppose my life would merely be a visual novel and i would just be the player - what decision would i make to reach the good ending in the end"