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Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:57 pm
by Cybeat
Sorry if I made this thread sound like a journal, but nobody listens to me and I hope you guys understand. Today was the one of the worst first days of school I've ever had. In fact, this happens almost every year, except this one just happens to be the worst. In 2nd period today, a stream of stupid guys called me names because I didn't know what their names were when it was my turn to call their name. How was I supposed to know? My memory is not sharp, and it's the first day of school. My mind was on something else, like my next class. The ones that piss me off the most are the guys that think they're all that. People keep telling me that those guys only want a reaction from me, but it doesn't seem like it, because I never show people my reaction. They want reaction from their friends. My father tells me to beat them up one by one, but I'm just a mere 5'2 kid (I might go crazy and hurt someone terribly if it goes on). I thought these guys were "seniors", not dumb*** babies. Have you guys ever encountered this kind of problem? What should I do? Snitching just makes it worse...

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:24 pm
by sciencewarrior

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:43 pm
by Cybeat
I'm not a nerd. Not one bit.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:50 pm
I definitely know how you feel. Oh, looking back at my school days... Bloody hell, bloody hell. Sure, I had straight As in everything except PE (that was a B), but... But all the mockery, taunting, crimaney Emilio... I hate that guy. He got half of my PE class to go against me. Hah! I probably had it worse than you. He taunted me during my periods of mental instability and during breakdowns. Breakdowns. ...That guy, I nearly... nearly got him... I regret not pulling off that plan when I had the chance... "Mental-breakdown retard!" "Water-girl!" "Four-eyes!" "Stupid!" "You're a failure!"

Needless to say, this had major repercussions. ...Though he's part the reason I got to switch schools.

If it's a one-time thing only, then don't bother snitching on them. It might make it worst. But if those guys are persistent, let an adult know. If they're persistent and adults don't do anything, then confront them. Say, in a civilized and collected manner, "Interacting with you is unpleasant. Please stop harassing me." If that doesn't work, numb yourself. Don't ever talk except when called on by an adult. Seriously, keep quiet. Make yourself unnoticeable. Be so quiet, that it's as if you have Selective Mutism. Pretend they're not even ther. Do not react, or else you'd only be indulging them.

There's another way to get them to stop bothering you, but it'd be bad to act like that if you really don't have any mental illnesses. Though it's your choice whether to try a shot at malingering and scaring your peers off, not mine. :p

Nerds rule. :p Case and point: Spider-Man and Michio Kaku.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:12 pm
by Cybeat
@N0UGHTS: You moved school because of one guy? I switched English class last year because of one guy (and his gay friends), and when I switched, he came to my other class a few months later. Now, he's in my English class again this year. He and his friends had a blast laughing at me. I think they're doing it to make each other laugh. I know I should stay quiet, but it's been about 5 years now. I can't take it anymore, especially since I thought I was leaving before school starts. I think I'm going to snap later on.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:23 pm
Gay? Wait, you mean his friends are all openly homosexual? Interesting... And all of the homosexuals I've met were kind and well-mannered.

I meant that Emilio was part of the problem. A bunch of other things not related to school made me break down during my younger years, though because of all those... "incidents" everyone agreed that switching schools would relieve some stress.

Man, five years? :shock: You sure have a fuse longer than mine. And you haven't told an adult yet? Wow. By persistent taunting, I meant three consecutive days of taunting.

If it's bothering with you that much, you really should start talking to your school counselor.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:28 pm
by monele
Why? Because they're scared. Problem is they're usually good at making you scared instead. And as long as that works ... :/. I've been there too, although not in a mind scattering way (although... maybe I should blame my lack of sociability on them :D). I was always quiet, not doing stupid things and getting rather good grades. Strangely, being quiet might have been enough, but doing well in school? Geh :|...
Anyway, things weren't too bad because I still found the "other" group in each class and managed to get friends. I think it's a lot worse if you end up all alone. I actually remember one school year where I started *in* the bad group (I just knew someone who gravitated towards them and I realized a bit late I was *not* where I was supposed to be). And again, I switched to the "other" group. Thankfully, as it was college, it was limited to verbal jokes but they mostly kept to themselves, amusing their own and leaving us alone.

My worst time was with a single dumbass who I made the "mistake" of not helping during a test. Everytime after that, he kept asking me and if I said no, he'd kick my chair during the whole thing. (but discreetly enough not to be caught of course). I dreaded time around him :/

As for advice, if any generic advice can be given, well... it's hard. My dad always told me "ignore them". Yeah well, as you can see, it's not always easy to. And some just *won't* stop as long as they know they're bothering you. It can even lead some to do worse and worse until you finally acknowledge them. I don't see a winning side to this, sadly :/.
Maybe being unnoticed is good, but as I said, you'd better be *very* unnoticed then. It doesn't have to be *you* personally gathering attention... it can be through others. But darn, if the price of being left alone is having no friends whatsoever and having the worst grades ever, that's not worth it imo.

Getting teachers to help can be an idea, but be careful. Don't gloat about it. And don't count on it too much either. Teachers can't be there all the time and bringing them in tends to stir the bad guys into seeking revenge. I'd say it's a wildcard.

In my opinion, for what I've seen, there's no real solution to this, sadly. Things usually tend to get better as you go up in grades as stupid people are brushed off as you go up, thus classes tend to be quieter and quieter. Plus, studies get more and more difficult, so the bad guys have either branched into an easier path, or they do want to succeed and will have to spend time working *some* instead of being asses. I mean... these guys bother others because they don't want to work and are just bored in class รด_o...

And then, finally, you get a job and things get better....... except not really. It just gets more subtle and it might be even worse in some ways. I have yet to experience enough of it to judge ^^;...

Conclusion : try to stay yourself, be careful and get some friends for social backup if possible.

Instant-edit : five years *is* long. Although I could say I've gone through two or three years of some of these things, it was never anything constant. But if, for example, there's not a single hour of the school day where things are quiet, gosh, yeah, it might be time to tell a responsible adult. But be sure to note how much it's affecting you and how often or long it is. It has to be taken seriously.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:46 pm
by papillon
Teenagers are evil, that's the best explanation, although it doesn't really help.

It's a crazy messed-up time. People's bodies are going through huge changes, which tends to make them feel self-conscious and awkward, which can make them lash out. And, of course, there's all the crazy hormonal changes. Teenagers burn (and consume) more energy than either children or adults.

Mentally, you're starting to get old enough that you can't be carefree anymore, and yet you don't have the experience to make good long-term plans. You alternate between thinking you know everything and fearing that you know nothing. Teenagers take stupid risks, they love thrills, they love feeling powerful.

In order to feel powerful, people tend to rely on two simple tactics - protect yourself from any sign of weakness, and attack others to prove that you're stronger.

Protecting yourself leads to a lot of bullshit posturing - teenagers, male or female, are quick to mock anything and everything, and insist that they don't care about it. That's lame, that's for babies, that's dumb, that's totally last year. Never mind if you actually like the 'it', admitting that would give you a weak point for others to attack. So a lot of people won't stand up for anything, including their old friends.

Does it help at all to know that the bullies are miserable too? :)

(Also, getting a reputation for being a crazy violent psycho really does not help. It just means they'll get more people together to gang up and jump you.)

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:53 pm
papillon wrote:(Also, getting a reputation for being a crazy violent psycho really does not help. It just means they'll get more people together to gang up and jump you.)
...I wasn't really serious about that suggestion.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:59 pm
by Blue123
Man, N0UGJTS, Cybeat, I feel for you guys. I've had to put up with loads of that shit as-well.

Well, about two years ago, I finished High School and came into College (I'm in England, so it's a bit different from over in the USA or wherever). There was this one guy in almost all of my classes. A pretty perky, popular guy- he did play the guitar and was in a band, after all, both things which are seen upon as being "pretty f*****g cool" whereabouts I live- he quickly got onto good terms with everyone. He had a pretty bad side as-well, picking on disabled kids and all that. Everyone ignored it, though. But I didn't, and tried to stay away from him. Now, this isn't the reason he took a good interest in me, as he was too dumb to realise my dodging.

I can remember talking with my friends one day about what TV shows and what kind of music we liked. Eventually, it was my turn to talk. The only stuff I watch is anime, and I'm really into game and movie soundtracks. So that's what I said. Most of my friends were like "Hmm, I'm not into those generally, but if it's what you like...", but that guy just kind of turned away, laughed and muttered "That's so f*****g sad".

From then on he really took an interest in me. I guess you guys know the rest. He started to say a lot of bad things about me as-well, and being the all-round popular kid, everybody believed him. Sigh. I even lost a few good friends that I'd had for years. I didn't really care though, because if they believed him then they just weren't trustable friends.

(Rest is coming, posted this bit in case I need to run quickly)

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:11 pm
by Cybeat
@N0UGHTS: No, not really. I just said gay because I hate them. If they were gay, I'd have all kinds of offensive things to say to them.

I told my counselor, well actually she read my poem project and found clues that I had hard times in school, but all she did was move me, because she thought I was going to start a killing spree or something. My counselor is pretty useless, I mean helpless. Most times, she says to me "ah you'll live" and stuff like that. It seems like only I can save myself.

@Monele: Scared? I understand the part you said they're bored, but it doesn't seem like they're scared of anything. They like to mess with me because I'm quiet, not funny, and maybe because I look funny. I saw a couple of idiots laughing at a Chinese girl because she looked like she was lost. I have no friends, by the way.

If I used smart jokes to make their jokes backfire, would that help? The guys would be humiliated, and would probably surprise attack after class, but I finally talked back. I need to stand up to them........

@papillon: So the guys who bother me in school are weak? I don't know how to make them back off. They'll keep calling me names until I fall apart and cry or something (which I really won't do), but after so many years, I feel like I'm losing. This is my last year in school, and they're ruining it. Telling me these guys are miserable won't help a lot, but it does give me something to think about.

I think being violent WOULD help. My father told me about his crazy friend who would scratch and bite his enemies. Nobody messed with him, because they knew they'd be in deep shit.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:15 pm
by Blue123
Cybeat wrote: I have no friends, by the way.
We don't know each other really, but you can think of me as your friend! Yaaaay!

Also, retorting and fighting them back feels pretty good, but be careful. Sometimes they might react back, and if your attack fails, then you'll end up feeling worse.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:21 pm
by Cybeat
Oh man, just thinking about it makes me feel bad. I start and attack, and they beat me up? I'd be so pissed......The school I go to has one of the most lousiest police officers (they arrest victims, and could give a care about the real trouble maker) and counselors. I think I should beat them up one by one before I leave back to Japan (who can fend off my angry belt smacks?).

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:29 pm
by Vatina
I don't know, being violent and getting back at them doesn't help in my experience. I once had a few people after me for years. Once I was forced to work with one of those guys in a group. Every morning when we met he would say something lame, and I would retort with something like "fuck off" - which he really enjoyed, and only made him continue. Then, after a while, he said "Hey, morning!" to me when I came, and I just replied "Good morning!" He didn't touch me the rest of that day.

I can't say that it's something that solved all my problems though, it's never that simple, but being aggressive has never helped me.

The only real advice I know is to ignore them and give them as few chances of a "victory" as you can. Hopefully they will grow tired of that game some day.

Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:41 pm
Cybeat wrote:@N0UGHTS: No, not really. I just said gay because I hate them.
...Huh? It's a slang term? :looks in Wiktionary: Oh, it is. Why, in my day, people called each other animals and illegitimate people, not homosexuals! (...I will never understand how that word can be so versatile.)

Hmmm... May I suggest another method? I didn't want to suggest this before because I thought those guys were a one-time thing. And you said you weren't a nerd... And then I thought that it might be a little too late after FIVE YEARS. But... Build up a repertoire so that you exceed in school and use your grades to establish yourself as an intelligent, helpful person. If you do this, it's definite that people will ask you for help in their scholwork. It might be a little bothersome at times, but you can establish contacts with other people, and maybe build a ring of loyal, caring friends who really appreciate who you are. With all those, those guys may become less inclined to harass you. Because one: they won't be able to ask the smartest kid in class for math help, and two: that kid has friends.

It may sound far-fetched to you, but hey, that's what I did in my new school. The people I helped really did become my buddies, and heck, the annoying humans I knew actually started to act genuinely altruistically towards me. "FINNICK LIKES ME?!" Some of them became my best gamer buddies. Best, because regardless of how many times they've lost to me, they're still determined to win. :p

Nerds have all of the meaningful social connections. :p