Things that make you wonder IF they were thinking

[Megaman Z]

I've observed (and done) some really idiotic things recently, so rather than just let the people who witnessed it have ALL the enjoyment, I'll go ahead and state the funny ones, with the names of those committing them (unless they were my goofs) omitted.

THE BOOK WAS WRONG!
in the book that is used in my chemistry class, there is a section full of the answers for the section review problems in the back. one small problem: some of the answers "may vary". appearantly, somebody was in such a rush to copy down the answers (again, not saying who) that they failed to notice that one of their answers was "answers may vary". Our teacher's response? "If you are going to cheat and look in the back of the book for the answers and it says 'answers may vary', do not put down 'answers may vary'"

Who's Paper is this?
not exactly that funny on it's own, but this ended up being one of two screw-ups. the person forgot to put their name on a test. fortunately, only theirs lacked a name. however...

CHECK THE BACK OF THE PAPER, DUMMY
...they had ended up skipping a full page - or should I say one side of a page. the whole class was cracking up on that one.

WAKE UP
falling asleep in class is the most difficult thing to do, right? WRONG! there is a classmate who, 9 times of out 10, missed the lecture because they were sleeping. maybe an alarm clock is in order?

When Spell-Check and Grammar-Check just isn't enough...
alright, I'll admit it. I make mistakes that are incredibly funny but are hard to notice. I found this one out right as I was handing in a "practice" Document-Based Question (the term "practice" used loosely). this is, word for word and unchanged, the phrase where my goof-up was made:

...[the imperial court at] first declaring that the moving of a finger bone of the Buddha be destroyed...

(for those that are curious, we were supposed to analyze the response in china to Buddhism.)

read it carefully. notice anything odd about it? such as what's being destroyed? well, that's what was on the DBQ that I turned in today. talk about having your "off" days...

if I can remember any more goof-ups (I'll probably remember mine before others... unless they were big ones), I'll tack them on. if you have any you'd like to add here, feel free. just omit the names of who did them unless they were YOUR goofs.

[musical74]

I've got to include this one...

DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO

Math class, the professor was explaining a fairly difficult theroem, and explaining why the class shouldn't do something similar, but was wrong. The prof the proceeds to do the EXACT THING he just said not to do. When a student questioned him about it, he looked at the student, looked at what he wrote, looked back at the student (or maybe the class), looked at what he wrote again, then threw down the chalk as though it was possessed and yelled *BAD CHALK!!!* The laughter was so loud that a prof from a neighboring classroom wanted to know what was so funny.

[Blue Lemma]

This one's a classic and from my homestate, no less:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_whale
http://perp.com/whale/

I'm sure musical74 has heard of that one

Basically, a whale dies on the Oregon coast and they need to get rid of the body. So what do they do? They stick explosives in it and blow it up! People were reporting giant chunks of dead whale raining down on them from a quarter mile away that day. *shakes head and sighs*

[musical74]

BL: I had heard of that before...always wonder what they are thinking when they do something ridiculous like that.

Here's another one for you...a university research team wanted to figure out if rats where more interested in other rats than in tennis balls.

[Sai]

Thats silly. Isn't it obvious? I'd choose a tennis ball over another person any day!

(I'm kidding, please don't send me back to the asylum!)

[musical74]

*makes a note to be careful of Sai when she has tennis balls*

BACK to the asylum? Wasn't aware you were in the asylum before Sai...

Here's another one for you...in the 1960s a <cough> genius decided it would be a good idea to mix Gatorate and beer. Another <cough> genius came up with the idea of having "flavored* beer, such as lemon-lime.

[Megaman Z]

(note to self: check to see if Sai was in the same asylum at the same time as me...)

wait... *looks at tennis balls around himself* oh, sh-

[musical74]

*thinks about hiding all the tennis balls*

In the late 1960a there was a scientist that did a study of heavy drinking...on goldfish. And in the mid 70s two researchers did studies to see if desserts think.

[mikey]

Supposedly it was a scientific (or theological, rather) problem in medieval Europe to find out how many angels could stand on the tip of a needle (or was it how many could fit through the hole of a needle?) Anyway, it was always a laugh in the history lessons.

In an older US newsfilm I saw an advertisement/information on radioactivity and how sticking your head into a kind of glowing box would make women's skin more elastic.

[Megaman Z]

here's a couple more moments of [non-]intelligence...

"I did not say you missed them all, you did!"
on one of our chemistry quizzes, someone's paper was briefly skimmed over by the teacher, who then remarked "[student's name here]'s paper doesn't look so good" and hands it back. the student then responds "I got them all wrong, didn't I?" the teacher then acknowledges this fact. less than a minute later, the student asks why the teacher said he got a zero. after a brief discussion (ending with the quote above), things were almost back to normal... until somebody broke rule number 2 with tests and quizzes...

Hey, want a star on that tree?
rule number 1 when taking a test: put your name on the paper. rule number two on a test: never christmas tree a test... and admit it. turns out somebody said they guess at every one of the questions on the quiz. now, if you thought we were cracking up at the earlier episode (this is the same quiz, mind you), you haven't seen a good comedy recently. this remark was met with "okay, I'll remember to put a zero on your quiz."

ask and you will recieve... but be careful what you ask for...
someone made a joke (saying "go ahead and give me a thousand of the worksheets"), and the teacher almost did. enough said.

[Megaman Z]

Who's smarter: me or the monkeys?
well, after convincing someone that they wouldn't be missing the game for a while (I beat Full Throttle in under three hours nonstop in front of his eyes... screwed up a few times on the final sequence, though, because it's been about five years or so since I even touched that game), they let me borrow a copy of Monkey Island 1. well, I finished off LeChuck (who was very groggy when I did so), and I'm now staring at this screen flashing "Turn off your computer and go to sleep!" just out of curiousity, is there anything after that? I've been sitting here for half an hour waiting.

(and in case you're wondering or curious, I resorted to using SCUMMVM for the sake of efficient saving in both Full Throttle and Monkey Island 1)

"Alright, how the hell do you do that?"

first off, if you have prince of persia: the two thrones, you may have already reached this guy and possibly killed him (level: "the Arena"). for those that haven't or don't have the game yet, this is what you're supposed to do (and what we [me and a few others] were trying over and over and over and over again to pull off), with mild spoiler protection

when the fight starts, you have to take out both of the guy's eyes, blinding him. you're supposed to do this via two "speed kills" (triangle [on PS2]). for one of them, you leap onto him (first of three strikes is here), then cut his hand when he tries to grab you and then stab his eye. for the other, you again jump on him, but he grabs you anyway, so you have to plunge the dagger into his hand and then the prince automatically yanks it out and then you stab the other eye.

the second strike on each of these speed kill runs was always getting us because it wouldn't even flash in the first place (if you play it you will know exactly what I mean), and secondly (and we looked it up) if we pressed square at the wrong time, we were automatically screwed for that stab anyway. after about 50 or so tries, we finally nailed him. but the thing is, the one time I personally tried the speed kill, I pressed square exactly once on the first flash, and the second flash (which only seems to appear sometimes if you press square exactly once on the first) didn't appear at all. another mystery to solve later, as I think I'm going to buy the game myself, probably on PC as opposed to PS2 (assuming my PC can handle it in the first place... *points at issues with "The Movies" [need better video card]*)

...I'm personally blaming the beta-testers for letting this get by, though.

[ShiraiJunichi]

One day my office manager was talking with the janitor about how she was going to relocate some items in the office to a different floor. The Janitor revealed that there were some boxes upstairs she could use. My office manager told him that she would just use some paper boxes that were behind the office. The janitor then replied "Yeah, but the ones upstairs are cardboard"

[musical74]

LOL at Shirai's post

Is it safe to put tennis balls out?

While at work overheard this on the radio. *If YOU have excessive heartburn you should have (medicine). It will solve all your heartburn problems!!* and at the end of the ad, REALLY quick, *may cause upset stomach*.....OK so if it's supposed to SOLVE one problem only to create another?

[PyTom]

In the category of things that make you wonder if they were thinking, I present the "Kids and Junior" section of:

http://www.americanmeat.jp

Clicking the red link next to the words "Kids and Junior" brings you to a flash applet that lets you feed a cow, remove its inedible organs, and then shows happy cartoon people butchering it while a stern USDA inspector looks on.

As a bonus, there's also a painting game included there, in which you can paint in the various cuts of meat.

Fun for the whole family!

[ShiraiJunichi]

...I can't believe I actually wasted five minutes of my life looking at that...