Lonesome

[Wright1000]

My first game with original art.

About the story: Lonesome is the story of a young and lonely boy who always wanted to be a mountaineer. But his father who is a very rich and selfish businessman wants him to take over the business. So, his son wants to run away from home. What happens to him depends on the choices the player takes.

Future release: I don't think there are any mistakes in this game. But if there are any, I will release a fresh version of this game soon.

Credits: Story- Robinson (Me), Programming- Robinson, (Me) Artist- Platonicheart, Coloring- Lotus, Proofreading- Taleweaver.

Routes and Endings: There are five endings. And there are two routes.
Each route has three endings, which means one ending is common to both routes.

Route 1's endings:
Lonesome (lonely ending)
Pathetic Life (bad ending)
Happy Life (good ending)

Route 2's endings:
Lonesome (lonely ending)
A Life without happiness (bad ending)
A bright future (good ending)

Download here: http://www.sendspace.com/file/50qxin

[Taleweaver]

Proofreading- Taleweaver.

No, this is not the script I submitted to Wright1000. This is the original, before I checked it for mistakes. I have no idea why Wright1000 decided not to use my corrections after asking me to make them, but I have nothing to do with the game that is posted here.

edit: This is the script file Wright1000 received from me.

script.rpy

My script file

(40.85 KiB) Downloaded 113 times

[Lotus]

Dude, I didn't even finish the coloring for it yet O-o
Are you that impatient?

[Wright1000]

You are wrong, Taleweaver.

I did take some help from your edited script.

If you compare the script from the game I released, with the script I sent you before, you will see the difference.

And since I used some help from your script, I have credited you.

I don't understand why you are so mad at me.

[Lotus]

When someone takes time out of their day to help you, you don't skim through it and take only what you deem necessary. He didn't have to help you, but he did. There is a quite a bit of difference in his version of the script and yours; you pretty much pushed aside most of it.

Same with me. This looks bad on my account because the art is not finished, but that's because you didn't even let me finish coloring! You were so insistent on getting it released by a certain date you didn't wait for me to finish shading/adding highlights. It would have been finished today or tomorrow! D: This really upset me :c

[Taleweaver]

I'm upset because your version still contains grammar and spelling mistakes. I took out as many of them as I could find, then you put them back in. If you were dissatisfied with my work, you should just have told me so; I could have made changes.

[azureXtwilight]

Uhh...

How do I put this...

First off, congrats for finishing!

I played the game, and like everyone said, the art was quite... unfinished? Only fernando's and ava's sprites were quite complete (as in fully-shaded)
I really think you should wait for Lotus to finish the coloring.

As in the story, it's like before. The characters was bland and the dialogues was dull. There is no real process of how they fall in love, it just... happens.

P.S : I like taleweaver's one better (You should've changed a lot of it, taleweaver-san! XD This isn't your style... Well, maybe because you just proofread and not edit?)

[Lotus]

Honestly, I'm debating whether or not I want to finish now. He thought it was good enough to slap in the game and call it completed (without telling me), so why should I finish?

Yes, I mad.

[clannadman]

I recommend maybe renaming this as a beta version and allow your team members a chance to finish their workload. Even if you are the project leader, it doesn't reflect well on Taleweaver or Lotus that you release an incomplete version of the game and it would be better to maintain friendly relations. I can understand your sense of urgency when you have a project but you need to allow all areas of the game to be completed and double checked.

[manga_otaku]

I admit it was an interesting game, but you should have properly stuck with Taleweaver's edited script. I played with that afterwards and it made me decide not to slap myself xD
I agree you should have waited until everyone in the team had told you they'd finished:
1) It makes the game better as a whole
2) It's polite
3) By slapping everything together when parts aren't completely finished - like Lotus' sprites - it makes the people working with you feel mad at you since they haven't finished.
Deadlines - everyone fails to meet them at times and it's just a game - people can wait. If they can't then you should tell them what's happening and we'll understand. Besides, you've got quite a lot of games out already, so why does it matter than much to get it out on time? I mean, I admit I like to meet deadlines but I don't always do. It irritates me but then I just try harder by speeding up the pace I work or something.

[Lotus]

Thing is, he never gave me a deadline, so how the heck was I supposed to know he wanted them done by today?

@Clannadman, Taleweaver did finish proofreading (I think), Wright1000 just decided not to use most of it.

Yes I still mad. I'll get over it eventually but for now I am not happy.

[SilverxBlue]

Tried out the game.
And er... Congratulations on the release, I guess?
It was pretty cool, but when I tried out taleweaver's script it looked a whole lot better, was there a reason on why you did not use most of it?
And another thing, like azurextwilight said, it just happened

Marie and Fernando fell in love in an instant.

And yes, I noticed that the art was unfinished and I sort of told platonicheart about it, and she asked why exactly did you do it? Cause Lotus is one awesome colorist and you could've just given her a deadline if you were in such a hurry.

I'm not gonna go mad at you because I was also guilty of this for my first ever game but I told the composer that she has to submit it in a week and well... she never PMd me again, so I decided to just release it together with some other music that was actually meant for another game. But the way I see it, Lotus is pretty much active here and she can shoot you a PM anytime.


And yes, I agree with clannadman on making this a beta so that Lotus could at least finish the coloring. You see, if other people would play this game and notice that the coloring is a bit off and see that Lotus is the colorist, it wouldn't really look good on her part. D8

[Wright1000]

Yes. I see my mistake now.
But you are forgetting that this isn't the final version.
I can always release a fresh version.
And, by the way, as Taleweaver said, there aren't any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes in the script.

[Aleema]

If this is a work in progress then you should post it in the WIP forum, and not make your team members embarrassed that you said their job was done when it was not. If you burn bridges like that, you're not going to get help from them, or anyone else, again.

Not posting in this forum would've prevented some misunderstandings, since the forum is called "Completed Games."

[azureXtwilight]

Hmm, what should I say... Even if there's no spelling/grammatical errors, but the dialogue flew better in Taleweaver's script...