Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

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aestate
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Re: Yesterday Again - Are You (not)Guilty? | WIP dystopian G

#16 Post by aestate » Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:41 pm

lazykitsune wrote:Such beautiful art! *u* The dystopian aspect is also very interesting! I like how this sounds so far~
-stalks-
Keke, thank you. ;w; I'm pleased by the interest...there don't seem to be quite enough VNs in the "dystopian" genre OTL.
Kyona wrote:Wow, this sounds really great! I will definitly play it when it's released.
I just love these kind of stories. <3
That'd be lovely! I-I just hope I'll be able to finish the game and actually release it. >A<
Dakishimete wrote:Hmm... does 8059 'name' has anything to do with Katekyo Hitman Reborn or is it just my imagination?
I AM SO GLAD SOMEBODY COMMENTED ON THIS. Actually, I named her that on a whim, and then later on..."oh wait a sec. 8059 = YamaGoku. Maybe I should change it. NAH THAT'S OKAY, NO ONE WILL NOTICE." /trollface.
HanaMori wrote:The background is beautiful! *O* Did you get it somewhere or did you made it? I'm sorry it made me so curious. Your story sounds interesting, and the title, is quite catchy. But I can't really see the (not) in the title picture, is it suppose to do that?

Good luck with it! x3
Heh, the placeholder background I'm currently using is a filtered photo; I could probably dig up a link to the file if you're interested! The "(not)" is supposed to be not immediately visible, although I do agree that perhaps I'll have to lighten the colour a bit... Anyway, thank you for your kinds words~ owo
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Re: Yesterday Again - Are You (not)Guilty? | WIP dystopian G

#17 Post by mysterialize » Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:35 pm

This looks really interesting. I don't know how I missed this before. I really love the tone you seem to have made with the screenshots. The story also seems to have some potential to be interesting, though the summary is a bit unclear. Anyways, definitely keeping an eye on this.

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Re: Yesterday Again - Are You (not)Guilty? | WIP dystopian G

#18 Post by Liz » Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:01 pm

Art = Pretty
Story = Interesting.
WIP = Even better
Characters = Awesome :) I found myself liking Annelise at an instant.

♥ Liz.

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#19 Post by aestate » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:36 am

HEY FRIENDS, I COME BEARING A DEMO!
I know, I know...it's about time, eh. Well, please try it out and tell me what you think about it! I hope you like it, and...
I would greatly appreciate feedback and opinions (but I don't think my fragile ego would be able to take full-blown critique, haha).

NOTE: I am a complete noob, so I'm unsure about how long demos should be. This one seems to be on the short side, around 3000 words...

Lastly, thanks, everyone, for your lovely comments on this VN premise; they inspired me when the nefarious BLOCKS struck. D:
Last edited by aestate on Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#20 Post by Camille » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:49 am

Oops! This link appears to be broken.
):

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#21 Post by TsukiShima » Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:36 am

Yeah, the link appeared nothing but a blank page for me. Sorry aestate.

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#22 Post by aestate » Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:31 am

Oh fail, sorry guys. ;A; Link has been updated. Hopefully, it works this time!
EDIT: demo down, updating soon with slight menu change. Back up!
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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#23 Post by lazykitsune » Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:54 am

That was interesting. I love how it starts with the diary, it looks so pro! C: I like your writing style too.
Sie is so interesting. I wanna know more about him haha. I like how he reacted when Anneliese challenges him.
For mistakes...I think you forgot to add "think" in one of Mr. Moreau's sentences and "Ministry" was misspelled somewhere.

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#24 Post by aestate » Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:06 am

lazykitsune wrote:That was interesting. I love how it starts with the diary, it looks so pro! C: I like your writing style too.
Sie is so interesting. I wanna know more about him haha. I like how he reacted when Anneliese challenges him.
For mistakes...I think you forgot to add "think" in one of Mr. Moreau's sentences and "Ministry" was misspelled somewhere.
I'm glad you liked it; I was really worried that people would find my writing style contrived and wordy. ;A; About the diary entries:
they're supposed to foreshadow what happened in the past and supplement the information that Anneliese discovers later on the game.
I personally find Sie sort of exasperating (I'm so mean to my characters luls), but he certainly is mysterious / interesting!
Thank you so much for catching those mistakes! ...I'd edited my text so many times that I was just like "NO MOOORE QQ".
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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#25 Post by ShirakiHime » Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:58 pm

Pretty art +_+

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#26 Post by lazykitsune » Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:52 pm

aestate wrote:
lazykitsune wrote:That was interesting. I love how it starts with the diary, it looks so pro! C: I like your writing style too.
Sie is so interesting. I wanna know more about him haha. I like how he reacted when Anneliese challenges him.
For mistakes...I think you forgot to add "think" in one of Mr. Moreau's sentences and "Ministry" was misspelled somewhere.
I'm glad you liked it; I was really worried that people would find my writing style contrived and wordy. ;A; About the diary entries:
they're supposed to foreshadow what happened in the past and supplement the information that Anneliese discovers later on the game.
I personally find Sie sort of exasperating (I'm so mean to my characters luls), but he certainly is mysterious / interesting!
Thank you so much for catching those mistakes! ...I'd edited my text so many times that I was just like "NO MOOORE QQ".
Ooh, that's a creative touch! C:

Haha, Sie, what a lovable jerk! xD And I feel for you about going over and over and over the text, I'm doing the same thing with my project! >_<

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#27 Post by therealrose » Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:55 pm

Looks interesting! I will definitely be stalking this topic. :)

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#28 Post by aestate » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:16 am

I've been too lazy lately to write a full-on blog post about what I've done, so I will start spamming my updates here! (Progress is slow...but it's steady, as I've resolved to write at least one thousand words a week from now on.)

Statistics:
The game contains 838 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 13,751 words,
for an average of 16.4 words per screen.
The game contains 15 menus.

What I've updated:
  • Some major editing of text. As always, I've cut out a huge chunk of unnecessary text. Is that normal, to find that you've written a spectacularly excessive amount of terrible dialogue? Haha.
  • Update on the sprites. Fixed some things that looked a bit off (a consequence of doing sprites super-early on, ugh).
  • A spiffy new menu! I think this'll be the final version, because I quite like it. Actually, it makes me think a bit of "Gossip Girl" luls.
  • Finally started working on CGs. As you can see, I have an utterly stupid method of drawing: first, I do a really basic skeleton, then I do a sketch, then I do lineart. I-It's so much work OTL.
SPIFFY MENUUU:
Image
hover over text | quit screen

Next up:
  • Updating the game design to make it fit with this new look. (That means overuse of HELVETICA and no more purple-grey anymore. /sadface)
  • Potentially creating a side-sprite of the MC, Anneliese. What are your thoughts on this? I'll update ASAP with a mock-up of how this would look.
Winter break is coming up for me in two weeks, so I'll hopefully have time to write with abandon and get through loads of progress with the game.
I'm also working on this totally mindless slice-of-life otome VN (a redux of my first failed project...) at the same time, so wish me luck! ;)
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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#29 Post by Poketto Kunoichi » Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:52 pm

Wow, that was quite interesting. I love your writing style; it's...eloquent and curious in its own manner. The music fit very well with the scenes are the characters aren't run-of-the-mill stereotypes and such.

It's a shame the demo was short, since the themes fascinate me! I look forward to playing it when it's completed. :D

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Re: Yesterday Again | WIP dystopian GxB [10/28 DEMO UP!)

#30 Post by facades » Mon Dec 19, 2011 11:16 am

I played your demo and although it was quite short, it was enough to capture my full attention and trigger my curiosity.
I really like the way you've written this story (e.g. The words that you've used, the way that you've describe things..)
I'm not really good at writing or expressing myself in words, so I really admire how you are able to play around with verbs and phrases to make the dialogue/ story flow so well.
Your art is really nice too. (: I like the design for the main menu! Will be waiting for the completed game.:)

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