Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

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Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#16 Post by Tenxinori »

PockieHoshi wrote:
Tenxinori wrote:I was giving hint when
the mc said "why are people appearing out of nowhere today" XD
O.O You like my imagination? *runs around* yaaay and otome making organization? whats that o.o
We work together making otome games I guess o-o?
Oh and we can make a name for the organization and place it under that little section that shows the posts and location and stuff =D.
I think it would be a great idea to work with you. :lol:
Sounds like a neat idea to me :o!
O.O Sounds good to me too :'D (psst O.O message me)

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PockieHoshi
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#17 Post by PockieHoshi »

*Sent you the PM =D

Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#18 Post by Tenxinori »

PockieHoshi wrote:*Sent you the PM =D
>8D

Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#19 Post by Tenxinori »

lunanight wrote:Something bugs me though, did he really forget the present or actually didnt buy it, and was actually with another girl not to pick a present for her, and why didn't he smile at her the way he did with other girls?

sorry for late reply >o<
he bought her present , then payed for it , then he got her call so he accidentally left it at the cashier place.
wel she was the girl he loved, so he would be nervous around her , so he actually smiled when he looked away.

Vynuxys
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#20 Post by Vynuxys »

Well, I dunno, it felt a little too short/too much all at once. I didn't really enjoy it all that much, but it was a nice attempt. I wish you good luck with your future games (:

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MusicaFate
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#21 Post by MusicaFate »

I'm not going to lie. I wanted to slap the girl who was complaining about how all she wanted was him and what ever. Also...I laughed so hard when I read that he got hit by a truck...I mean it was so random...but expected O: ...Hm...well it was good for your first game. You see your flaws right?

>> Proofread it~
>> [The mouse thing was quite irrelevant.] (but pretty...)
>> The story was way too short and left many holes to be filled. (I mean the other dude just came out of no where like "I know you."
>> ...The whole thing was way too sappy xD I felt as if it has been done so many times~

I think you could have done a better job of explaining why she loved him and what he did to make it seem like he didn't love her back.
But then again :) it was a good start! I encourage you to make more visual novels and strive higher and higher~
Free Artist. :) PM ME ?~

Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#22 Post by Tenxinori »

@Vynuxys : ty for playing it ^-^

@MusicaFate : Well its my first game so it has its flaws. Thank you for playing it. And about the storyline, if you play all 5 paths then you will understand the story. There is hints to hidden mysteries that if you piece together, you will understand the story inside out. ^-^

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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#23 Post by MusicaFate »

@Tenxinori - Well, I got all of the endings...and I still believe there are some holes O;

Well like when that one weirdo turns back time... or does what ever to help her. There is a major hole there because it is unclear of why the person chose her ... and why his fate was to die and what not. (I think that would have made the plot a bit more interesting) Also, that one other character just ... is random O: I think... and like right after he dies... I think it was rude of him to do so...but that's your character. O: I mean only the character would now that that one other dude wanted her... not the person playing it. (Maybe if like..you had this option to wait for your boyfrriend...or like to go with someone else because he wanted to show you something or...what ever you know?) owo but it was a good idea. Piecing things together through the endings. That reminds me of another game~
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#24 Post by Valkyrie »

I'm downloading it now. I gotta check this out :D

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Elze
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#25 Post by Elze »

I tried the game. Congrats on finishing your first game C:

It wasn't bad for a first attempt, but I think the reason why it feels unrealistic and random is because of the lack of information. The whole mystery thing is cool, but sometimes writers forget that players/readers cannot see what's going on in their brains. As a writer, we sometimes get carried away with constructing this whole over-arching plot, and in doing so we take certain details for granted. So when we play our own game or read our own story, it makes complete sense to us, but it may be very abrupt and nonsensical to the player/reader.

It's like MusicaFate mentioned. The other guy's appearance is very random and sudden. Such a key player should at least have been lightly introduced somewhere along the story, even if we don't actually get to meet him.

Also, it's kinda hard to establish a connection with someone we barely get to know, so because of that the whole set up feels unfortunately pretentious.
When her boyfriend died
, I didn't even have enough time to decide on his character, let alone feel sad for him. It's kinda like what Vynuxys said. Too much and too fast at once. There wasn't any time to digest the information and even after getting all the endings, the player will have to sit there and rethink the whole thing trying to make sense. A coherent story should intrigue the reader and make him/her curious about the plot, not completely confuse and unarm him/her.

Nonetheless, it's a good attempt for a short game. Maybe the same problems won't exist in a longer game.
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Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#26 Post by Tenxinori »

@MusicFate: oo which game, i might wanna play it :D

@Valkyrie: ty :D

@elze: I will hopefully write the story better next time >o< but ty for playing it

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MusicaFate
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#27 Post by MusicaFate »

Um. No...I don't think you'll like it because it's was a very weird...it was. You wouldn't like it. It was just a very disturbing.

But...well anyways, have any future projects planned out?
Free Artist. :) PM ME ?~

Tenxinori
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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#28 Post by Tenxinori »

MusicaFate wrote:Um. No...I don't think you'll like it because it's was a very weird...it was. You wouldn't like it. It was just a very disturbing.

But...well anyways, have any future projects planned out?
Yep I am working on a new otome game with Hoshi XD (We are still planning so there is no "in progress" thread for it yet ;o)

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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#29 Post by DigitalDiva »

Um...I'm a newb, and I don't see where I'm supposed to download this thing...

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Re: Pure Tears (GxB Otome)

#30 Post by Mitchie11281209 »

where's the download link?? :DD

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