<WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

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realaniram
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<WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#1 Post by realaniram » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:46 pm

Thought I'd make a thread for my up-and-coming VN. ;] I'm a bumbling fool, and this is my first attempt at anything remotely like this. The work will probably be slow going...

Basic plot:
You play as a girl (I'm thinking of making a mostly identical boy version to go along with it, after I'm done with the girl's, but it depends on how hard this is and whether Yoko's up to it) who was created by the Celestial Elder (creator of everything) to help free one of the two deities from imprisonment by the other deity.

The Sun Lord (who's a good guy deep down, just extremely aggressive) has gone more or less insane from monotony and lust for power and has imprisoned the Moon Maiden in a cave somewhere in the land of the living. Because She can't come out anymore, the world only has day and everything's slowly dying from dehydration and heat exhaustion from the light. Also, the Sun Lord's told His followers, the Sun Priests (one of whom is romanceable), that the Moon Maiden is evil and was imprisoned for good reason and that if the priests just tell everyone that and spread the word of light all over the land the world will be balanced again and the Moon Maiden's evil (which they think is causing the drought) will be stopped.

Then, there are the priestesses of the moon (another of whom is romanceable), who know that the Moon Maiden is very gentle (because She basically just preaches peace) and couldn't be causing a drought because She doesn't have that power. The priestesses just pray everyday for knowledge of how to free their mistress, hidden away in a crystal cave deep underground most of the time.

And a bunch of other assorted cast members who may or may not be romanceable who help or hinder you, based on what options you choose as the main character.

Recruitment Options:
I'm thinking I may have to find somebody to do the backgrounds if my artist isn't up for it. So far I'm doing really well on the script and the music, though extra help is always appreciated!

Progress Report:
Story: 80%
Characters: 40%
Backgrounds: 0%
Music: 40%
Script: 20%
Interface: 10%
Total: 30%

Previews:
Art by YokoIshioka.

Main Character Faces
Clothes and Hair Concept
Initial Sketch
Lorekeeper wrote:There is a tale told among the ancient tribes, about the origins of the sun and the moon and the stars, all created by their keeper, who exists in the vast space beyond the sky. They then created the world with its rivers, deserts, animals, mountains, plants, and us.

The Sun Lord and the Moon Maiden were opposites, preferring to stay as far from each other as possible. But they both wanted to see all of what they had created together, and agreed to chase each other across the sky, forever moving so neither got to see more than the other.

All was good for a time. The people were growing and learning, worshiping the Sun Lord and the Moon Maiden for all they had done to teach them. But the Sun Lord soon grew tired of this monotony, and in attempt to relieve His boredom caused a fire to rage through a great forest near the people. He could not have known the suffering He would cause, and tried for three days to destroy the fire.

The Moon Maiden saw the pain that was caused by the Sun Lord's foolishness, and used much of Her power to help quench the fire. The Sun Lord was filled with remorse after His mistake, but was wiser because of it. The Moon Maiden's lost power made Her weaker, and ever since then She can only have the power She had once every thirty days, and spends the rest of Her nights building up Her power or resting from the exertion.

Because of all She did to help the people, they loved the Moon Maiden and gave offerings of flowers, gems, and ceremonial weapons to Her on Her day of power. The Sun Lord became jealous of Her popularity, but watched while hoping that it would pass. The keeper saw this, and decided to send messengers to the gods so the keeper could maintain peace without leaving the throne in the space beyond the sky, for if the keeper did this world that had been painstakingly created would crumble to pieces, gods and all.

The messengers the keeper created weren't as powerful as the gods, and only lived long enough to complete their tasks. To show gratitude, the keeper gave each of them a beautiful home near the throne and made them stars as thanks for their service.
Last edited by realaniram on Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#2 Post by Desu_Cake » Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:45 am

Nice to see someone breaking the mould of light = good, dark = evil. Definitely interesting!

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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#3 Post by realaniram » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:00 pm

Thanks! I've actually been trying to do that ever since I was... Twelve maybe? xD I made two pages of comic with a similar story line, except they were both goddesses and the moon spirit was trapped in a sword. And so the heroine did all sorts of badassery with the moon spirit sword to find her body and free her while avoiding the sun goddess and her heroin/villainess. Who was batshit crazy, like Hexadecimal in Reboot.
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#4 Post by Dollywitch » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:12 pm

Bayonetta did it pretty well actually, I like how the angels were pretty and glorious but still unsettling and a little creepy. I like the "angels as monsters" ideas, since Demons are generally shown as monsters.

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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#5 Post by Kindred87 » Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:42 am

Wow, is this an original story? The plot summary is very engaging, as I can envision a very dramatic trailer playing out as I read its words ^^

I'll have to keep an eye on this one.
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#6 Post by realaniram » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:07 am

Thank you! Yeah, it's original. Sort of a baby to an original as I explained in a previous post. I'm really glad everyone's responding so well to the plot, because (unfortunately) it's the only fully complete thing I have so far. Basic plots are what I write/finish first.
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#7 Post by Kindred87 » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:09 am

Awesome! Well it is a novel, the story is its soul, and therefore its most important segment. Of course, I don't need to be telling you that xP
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#8 Post by realaniram » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:18 am

Yeah. xD I'm kind of proud of myself, because I've already got the legends of the place down. Good backstories have always been my favorite part of games and novels. The story can be good, but I wanna know why it's all happening like that. Why do these people hate those people (my main beef with most 'Romeo and Juliet' stories)?
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#9 Post by Kindred87 » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:21 am

So long as you don't take the MMO-approach, where the backstory is the best part of the narrative, leaving the actual plot to fend for itself in the dark depths of mediocrity. Granted, someone coming up with storylines such as yours wouldn't do that, but I just like to express my displeasure at the lackluster stories in MMO's ^^
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#10 Post by realaniram » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:30 am

Yeah, although with that type of game you're mostly on it to grind with friends and compete with other people. The story can get in the way of that if the narrators get aggressive. I will admit that with MMOs, I make an exception to my other rule. It's mainly for the social aspect of gaming with someone else (I don't have any friends who like to game with me and I'm a co-op gamer lol). I don't want to have to click through three pages of dialogue to be told to move to another area to kill a bunch of things and then go to a well and then come back and then take the water to another NPC on the other side of the map.
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#11 Post by Kindred87 » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:50 am

Oh, well people play games to play games, that much is certain. It's just that when a story has the chance to be great (Final Fantasy XIV), I'd like it to be so. I'm one of those people who value a good story over mostly everything, whether it be film or game ^^
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Re: <WIP> Shaeyu jun Ikkshaelun

#12 Post by realaniram » Tue Jan 03, 2012 5:12 pm

Yeah, I'm that way too (with the exceptions mentioned). Dance Central 2 was way better than any other dancing sim in my opinion, because they added a central story line to the game in addition to the usual free song mode.
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