NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

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NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#1 Post by Gumm_p0p » Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:51 pm

Well....this is not actually my first time being here...I have been snooping around the forums for past 8 months now.
I have LOVE most of everybody work that had been done.
It actually inspired me to do mine. :wink:
(I just put on hold until now.. basically cause I get easliy distracted :roll: )

Enough about me. Let move on.
----First time doing vnovel----
After reading all of the comment. I realize I been missing some part that making everybody to misunderstood this whole story. I just didn't put more detail to my story or character. :o

WARNING!!! : MOST OF THE CHARACTERS HERE ARE PYSCHO!!! :arrow: This right here let call it...a mental illness. (for now.)
GENRE: Mystery, Psychological, Romance, Gore,..maybe Dark Comedy.

Main_Story:
In this strange, uncaring world, life goes on as many get kill to get higher. People get experimented, talking of magic, sorcery, and ruling of the world spread like a disease. With the light and dark keep clashing, this country is going downhill. The highness will soon had to get involved, but he, himself, is corrupted like the rests, abusing most of his power for lusts, and greed. So he sent one of his loyal servants to finish this task before long everything is quiet leaving a trail of dead corpses behind. Years later, the land flourish, and everybody forgot this like stepping on a bug cheering for their highness like he was god.
However some didn't they become aggressive; attacking the king, pulling him out of his throne though all of them fell one by one.
You play as 'Velia' just about to start her new life out of her imprisonment, her life begin as a simple thing with no worries, still something was missing from her as she see everybody so caring, so happy, so…clueless? What was the life that she had before this, before the confinement? Something inside her started to yearn. Yet what was it yearning for?


Her Story:
My Daily Routine
- get up.
- stare.
- eat when food arrive.
- stare through the window.
- sleep. If not sleepy, stare some more.
- EXISTS.
- repeat.
"This world is already corrupted enough, so why does it want to drag me down too." she mumbles to the empty air. With no answer, she sighs, who am I talking to? I'm going to go crazy aren't I.... never mind I'm already crazy. She got up from her uncomfortable bed and grabs the tray of foods that arrive and walk to her only furniture: a limping chair and worn out table. She sat and stares at what was her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was always the same things, hard bread, some unknown soup, and leftover that would had been left for the pig. After forcing it down her throat, she got up and walk to the only exit separating her from the outside world. It was still shut tight like the first time they threw her in here. She gently put her tray through the little opening in the bottom, and off she went to do the next thing on her list, that her conscience made for her. "It a habit”, she said softly to no one but herself.

---- Many days, months, and soon years gone by, her mind slowly decays inside the confinement. Her routines seem to lose it effect as she starves some days, scream the other days. Why exist like this, confine in this space, this…prison she would sometime mumble delusional. Even her dream was useless, soon her memories started to fade. Now she would stare far-off to a dream-like state into a world full of darkness.
----------------------------------------------------------------



Character:


'Velia' -
Age: Unknown.
Gender: Female.
Personality: Energetic, cheerful. Public say when first meet she will attack anyone who harm her
physically. Trusting is an issue for her. Nothing more, more research is needed.
Skill: Being a thief, excellent in any combat.
Appearance: Always wear long sleeves and long pant. Some said she hiding
something grotesque underneath her clothing. Orange/Red hair and bright green eye.
Likes: Mushroom.
Dislikes: Unknown.
History: Record said she was house in a insane asylum for most of her preteen life. Nothing
more is know, her past record was erased, lost or burned.

Image

Obtainable boys: (including a unlockable one which I won't be showing, just letting you know :D


Oron - (The one who gave her the name 'Velia'.)
Age: 18.
Gender: Male.
Personality: Very Sarcastic, Easy-going and well like by his peer and adults. Generous and helpful to others.
Your all-round sweet average guy.
Skills: good with swords and the ladies.
Appearance: Red/brown hair with hazel eye.
Likes: Hunting.
Dislikes Shopping.
History: Grew up as a gentle man with a great personality. Had a normal child hood with good parent.
Nothing out of the ordinary.

Image



Perrin- (He the oddball)
Age: 17.
Gender: Male.
Personality: A mean, rude, angry boy. The type who bully others but when ask about
him, they tend to think the opposite as a quiet introverted boy who mostly stay home only to come
out once in the blue moon.
Skills: Excellent in cooking, and fist-fighting.
Appearance: Medium length hair, usually tie in a ponytail. Dark blue hair with
sharp yellow eye.
History: Raised by a single parent, but the parent died by accident claim by a witness
saying the victim was a very clumsy person and fell to their death. Public said he got an
older twins who totally the opposite of him.

Image


Rafe-
Age: 20.
Gender: Male.
Personality: Unemotional, a very stern guy with no humor.
Skills: Scarily strong can able to carry a very huge hammer. Good at spying,
notice the littlest things.
Appearance: Short bright green hair with aqua blue.
Likes: Unknown.
Dislikes: Unknown.
History: Was a solder ever since a child. No record was found
about his parents.

Image


Soren- A stranger.
Age: Unknown.
Gender: Male based on his structure.
Personality: Calm, never lose his cool. Very little is shown.
Skills: Excel in hiding, seem to carry a weapon underneath his heavy clothing.
Fast reflexes.
Appearance: Unknown. Known thing is having bright pink/purple eye.
Likes: Unknown.
Dislikes: seem to hate the higher class people.
History: No record is found.

Image


Cyril - A dangerous (I mean really! Do not be in the same room with him or breathe near him.) prisoner who sought destruction.
(He will be the second hardest to get after the unlockable guy. :P )
Age: 19.
Gender: Male.
Personality: Said to have a violent personality. Act without thinking. Very manipulated and
persuasive. Oddly very cheery, act childish but rarely.
Skills: Unbelievable fast, can gut a person using his hand.
Appearance: Pale white hair with deep bright red eye.
Likes: unknown.
Dislikes: Everyone.
History: His family was slaughter by his own hands, about 2 year from escaping was finally caught.

Image


Other Characters:
(there are other character but this two right now will also contribute to the main story.)
Talia -
Age: 17.
Gender: Female.
Personality: Very sassy girl who speak her mind, had a tweak of tomboyish in her. Very clinging.
Do what she want, but very loyal.
Skills: good in cleaning and managing thing.
Appearance: Black/brown curly hair with a little braid. Dark brown eye.
Likes: Oron, Kyra, Mr. Spot (her teddy bear,)
Dislikes: Change.
History: Grew up into a spontaneous young lady. Had a good childhood life
with the help of her protective older sister. Ok parent who often lost in their love for each other.

Image

Kyra- The older sister of Talia.
Age: 22.
Gender: Female.
Personality: Friendly, helpful to others. Act very motherly and very bubbly.
Skills: Ability to make them give up using her expression. Work most of the time.
Appearance: Had long straight black/brown hair with a white head band. Dark brown eye.
Likes: Everyone.
Dislikes: Fish.
History: Grew up having a decent life with family and friend. Now the owner of the tavern,
so the parent goof off touring the world. soon to be wife.

Image


Other thing I want to let you now:
1. I could easily spoil my own story, If I write too much. This you don't need to read :mrgreen:
2. There will be mini-game.
3. It will be light-hearted in the beginning until something is trigger. :arrow: hehe. I fix this part (^x^)
4. Those picture you see up there, they are not actually psycho in the beginning. So don't get disappointed.
5. The last two..(I admit I got lazy.)
6. I love to hear your feedback although I don't even had the demo ready. 8)
Last edited by Gumm_p0p on Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:03 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#2 Post by PyTom » Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:06 pm

Gumm_p0p wrote:1. I could easily spoil my own story, If I write too much.
From your post, it looks like you have a lot of ideas, but it's hard to tell how much of a story you have here. It's a good idea to include a description of the story in the game, perhaps inside spoiler tags. That will help people to get an idea of where you're going with this.
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#3 Post by Gumm_p0p » Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:16 pm

PyTom wrote:
Gumm_p0p wrote:1. I could easily spoil my own story, If I write too much.
From your post, it looks like you have a lot of ideas, but it's hard to tell how much of a story you have here. It's a good idea to include a description of the story in the game, perhaps inside spoiler tags. That will help people to get an idea of where you're going with this.
Thank you! It hurt me but I'll live. I will give a little more thought to it :mrgreen:

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#4 Post by clua » Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:45 pm

wow this is like a dating sim?that would be awesome!
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#5 Post by Michiyo6918 » Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:41 pm

Wah! This looks so interested :3 I feel in love with Cyril at first sight ~ Can wait to see how this will turn out *Hopping around in excited*

I've decided, I shall stalk this!

P/s: This game make me remember a discussion I had with my friend a while ago. We were talking about anime/ manga and stuff and how all the psycho are mostly... bishounen and bishoujo .__.

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Last edited by Michiyo6918 on Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#6 Post by Kokoro Hane » Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:39 am

Looks interesting. I will keep an eye on this, as I admit to loving scary stories ^.^
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#7 Post by Mink » Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:02 am

Gumm_p0p wrote:WARNING!!! : MOST OF THE CHARACTERS HERE ARE PYSCHO!!!
I'd watch how you write this, because reading about characters like this can become tedious, especially if they aren't likable. Seriously, it's possible to write someone who's completely off their rocker and people still like (The Joker, for example), but if they aren't likable, or at least interesting (like having personality traits other than 'they're insane'), I'd become bored rather fast.
3. It will be light-hearted in the beginning until something is trigger.
Beware of mood whiplash; if you don't set that up properly, it'll just feel like it came out of nowhere and mostly likely cause WTF reactions, but not in the likely intended way.

And, not to be rude, but is English your first language? Because I'm seeing some grammar problem, and I'd recommend you get an editor or proofreader to help you.*

Otherwise, good luck on your project.

*Hopefully someone who's a native speaker or is otherwise fluent. <x<
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#8 Post by Pugfarts » Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:49 am

Are you going to program the minigames yourself? Just curious about what program you plan on using.

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#9 Post by TsukiShima » Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:33 am

Oh wow, I'm surprised of how many psycho this game have. I'm used to seeing one or two exist in a story, but not when it's THIS many. But maybe I already see it in Higurashi.

Honestly, I have no problem with dark or gore genre, but I'm still surprised that this is out from 'normal', it's something I like, but maybe not everyone does. I feel that I will like Cyril and Rafe, so lets see how this will go.

Also, if you need any help, since this is your first time, feel free to contact me. I'll try to help you if I can. I can write and draw a little. Good luck with this!

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#10 Post by JustAnotherMe » Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:50 am

O-oh my GOD!!! XDDDD

This is exactly my type!!! Well, I'm making a game like this too, though it's not near your... craziness... GAHAHAHA!!! I hope we'll both spread the craziness around!!! XD

okay guys, CYRIL IS MINE

I don't know if you need any help? I can do coloring for your sprites after December end.
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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#11 Post by Gumm_p0p » Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:24 am

@ Clua : hehe thank you sooo much and yep it is. :wink:

@ Michiyo6918 : Aww..It seem like everybody love Cyril.

@ Kokoro Hane : YES!! Someone who like some scare in their life. THX!!

@ Mink : Mink, you kill me two time but I like how straight forward you are. I will gladly put in more depth to my characters and the story. And well grammar is not my best, so I will let you shoot me down as many time as you like...just not too much. (It not good for the heart.) :wink:

@ Pugfarts : Yes. Hopefully I be doing the mini game by myself but as for the program...I do not have a clue. (But I figured some way.)

@ HanaMori : Thx! I know it REALLY out of the 'normal' and the 'Psycho' are actually damaged people...well not Oron, he just plain crazy. Helping would do me some good, I will just let you know.

@ JustAnotherMe : HAHAHA..Every body just love Cyril. I know we should spread it to the WHOLE WORLD. JK? :)

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#12 Post by MJDAlleria » Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:34 am

I love psychos too!

-kicks my WIP box in a dark corner-

Rafe and Cyril are really interesting to look at, so the mention of gore does that mean tons and tons of descriptive detail on how their attacks are? Can you also cannibalism... uh nevermind ^^"

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#13 Post by Pugfarts » Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:26 pm

You really should have some idea of what you CAN accomplish already before you start making serious gameplay plans. That's why you should at least start looking into programs to use and how to use them before all this planning stuff.
Renpy is a really nice engine to start with, because it's simple enough, but it's not really something you make minigames with.

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#14 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:34 pm

Pugfarts wrote:You really should have some idea of what you CAN accomplish already before you start making serious gameplay plans. That's why you should at least start looking into programs to use and how to use them before all this planning stuff.
Renpy is a really nice engine to start with, because it's simple enough, but it's not really something you make minigames with.

Well, you can make mini games within it, but I'm pretty sure it requires knowledge of python. The more complex the game, the more knowledge is required.

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Re: NEW VN!!! [i don't know my own title yet...]

#15 Post by Gumm_p0p » Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:19 am

Pugfarts thx for the concern and your reply. :D Honestly I thought of something else when you wrote that.
I'm sorry for misunderstanding. Maybe I was slow that time.
The program I'll be mainly using is in fact Renpy. I already know the basics for now. So I'll start from there. I would had
said the same thing like Auro-Cyanide did. You can make mini-game in renpy it just a little harder and a little bit more difficult.

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