Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

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silenteve
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Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#1 Post by silenteve » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:40 am

Scarecrow
It is said that there is a little village somewhere hidden within the Cursed Forest. Few have ever ventured into this forest to discover the truth of this imaginary village. And the ones that did have never returned.
Though many have not seen it, the village exists. It is a prisoner behind the gnarled trees, and twisted creaks and snaps of the Cursed Forest. Even those that live in the village, which is located at the center of the forest, refuse to enter the Cursed Forest. The history behind it was too ghastly for that.
It was not always cursed, this forest that is, no. It was once a flourishing woodland, with cheerful people abundant and joy resplendent. A sort of country Utopia, filled to the brim with kind people and pure intentions. That is, until It came.
How to describe this thing; Well, it had a head, a body, some feet and some hands. Very dark, very beautiful midnight eyes. A peach skin tone, that at times beneath the moonlight looked positively glowing. It looked human. But what lied beneath it's exterior was a sadism, a madness that was far beyond the imagination of these kind village people. This thing had power. He had the power to destroy, to manipulate. It was something inborn within him, inherited through a recessive line of mental instability, and Dark magic. When It arrived, royally clothed, bearing riches beyond the mortal realms, they all thought him an angel. But he bared his fangs in due time, and destroyed with pleasure at he liked. None could escape his twisted grasp.
This Thing had no weakness, at least not one easily seen. The Thing, it was still human, you see, though it's heart was much more like a demon than a mortal's. This Thing had her. His sister, Belicia.
He was in love with his sister.
Some say that this very fact was what drove the Thing mad; Those that say that did not know of his corrupted genes. But perhaps that fact, that he was in love with his own blood kin, had contributed to the mania. That sort of dark desire could not have been very healthy.
She didn't know the truth. Of his unbalance nor of his love. Not for a very long time at least. And then one day, she found out. She had turned in one night very early, due to a little cold she had caught during her activities in her backyard (Because her loving brother was too protective of her to allow her to run freely. And she thought she understood that it was because of her weak constitution). As she was lying in bed, eyes resting but not sleeping, she heard her brother's footsteps into the room. She recognized the familiar rhythm, but she did not stir. Then, she felt it. She felt the cold, dry lips of her brother softly brush her own. That was when she knew.
She turned to her servant Othello.
She seduced him, took him into her bed, and became pregnant. She thought she could get away.
But she misjudged her brother. He had no one, nothing, only her. He slayed Othello and chose to become his sister's new husband, and father to her child.
That was where madness corrupted her.
Disgusted. Revolted. She hated him.
And after the birth of her child, she plotted.
And when the day of reckoning came, she executed her plan.
He was sleeping and she thought she had him. She did not know of his insomnia. As she lunged, he dodged. His eyes, filled with pain, and only pain. Pain for her betrayal. But she was persistent and eventually, she landed the knife into his abdomen, and pushed until buckets of red enough to fill a bathtub spilled.
With his dying breath, he cursed her, with tears in his eyes.
"You will never get away from here. You will be trapped here forever, physically and spiritually. I will wait. You shall be reborn in the future and I will be here to claim you as my own. And then finally, finally, we shall be together..."

Still filled with madness, she took his body and strung it up outside her estate. She crucified his dead body with barbs and wires and all who looked upon it were repulsed. They left his body up there until it rotted away, flesh and bone. But while he was on display, he frightened and repelled them all. He was dead Scarecrow.

She did not believe his curse but it was real. Had she known of his Dark blood, she would've believed him. The prophecy came true. The forest wilted, and the trees became an inescapable maze. She was trapped, with her baby boy, and the villagers that had grown to hate her. They avoided her as though she was a plague. And as she grew older, she found no happiness. She died but her son continued the line.
Over and over again, her family line reproduced, and every time, a male child was born. No other children were ever birthed and the only child would continue the line, somehow, as though someone was turning the hands of a clock manually, waiting for it to strike a certain hour. Over and over again...
For 500 years.

Until the birth of Iris.
Last edited by silenteve on Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:37 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Scarecrow [KN][Supernatural, Romance]

#2 Post by silenteve » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:40 am

Characters:
Iris Vapaus Luschien: A young 16 year old girl. She is hated by everyone in the village because of her family history. However, she herself is ignorant of that fact, but has grown to accept the villager's hate.
She has long black hair, with silver-green eyes. She's around 5'6 and is quite petite in size.
Quiet, reserved, misanthropist, curious, and apathetic.
"Who are you?"

Maybess Leipel: An old woman. Known to the villagers as the "Witch". She raised Iris on her own, taking her in after her parents died violently. She knows the truth but feels no inclination to tell Iris anything herself.
She's very old, with a hunchback. She rather short, with white hair coiled into a messy bun.
Sarcastic, hard, cynical, deceitful, and misanthropic.
"You must never go back there, do you understand me Iris?"

Kurio Stohl: A poor baker's son. He knows about the curse but choses to ignore it because of his infatuation with the enigma Iris. He is beaten by his father often and enjoys talking to Iris, even though he does most of the talking.
He is a bit shorter than Iris, with dusty brown hair and dark blue eyes. Despite his looks, he's rather resilient and strong. He wears a pair of old glasses, and is often dressed in shoddy clothing.
Curious, innocent, cheerful, stubborn, and intelligent.
"Why are you always so quiet, Iris?"

August Thaler: The bartender of Schwarz Wald, a run down bar. He basically has no customers other than Iris and the occasional drunk. He is also ignored by most of the town, as he is Maybess's nephew. He doesn't know of the curse and harbors no hatred towards Iris but he treats her like a good friend.
His hair, which is black-blue, reaches his shoulders, and is cut bluntly across. He ties it up with a white ribbon Maybess gave him. He's very tall, with Iris only reaching his collarbone. He wears a clean pressed white shirt and a pair of black pants.
Sarcastic, wry, apathetic, quiet, and intelligent.
"Everyone here is mad, whether they admit it or not."

Katherina Gaulle: The "mad orphan." She was born to a single father but due to unknown circumstances, she had ended her father's life with her own hands. Now she is abandoned by the villagers and is left to fend for herself. She dislikes Iris but tolerates her company, because it's the only company she ever receives. She secretly likes Kurio.
An even younger girl than Iris at the age of 13, she has short blonde hair usually tied up in pigtails. Her eyes are a shade of garnet red. Her clothes are usually dirty and covered in grime. She wears a pair of overalls, a striped orange-red shirt, and a pair of brown sandals.
Stubborn, bad-tempered, lonely, hard-working, and straight-forward.
"Why the hell am I even telling you this?"

Jed Haufe: The youngest of six, he is often forgotten and ignored within his own family. He is usually left on his own and starved because of his family's destitution. He finds refuge with August every so often, and is given food and shelter in his home also. He dislikes Iris, because he believes that she is the cause of everyone's misfortunes. He, on the other hand, does like Catherina very much.
At the age of only 10, he is a very small and skinny boy. His hair is unruly, dirty, and a beautiful shade of apple red. He wears a shirt that is a bit too big for him, a pair of shorts, and a pair of dirty brown loafers.
Reserved, innocent, smart, apathetic, and pessimistic.
"..."

The Scarecrow: His true name was Mikhail Luschien. He has been waiting for the rebirth of his beloved Belicia.
He has dark black hair, cut messily. A wiry, skinny body with hidden strength, his grin stretches from each side of his mouth. He's dressed in all black, and has a distinctive scar on his abdomen. There are also various scars all over his body, but the one on his abdomen is the most prominent.
???
"You know me, of course. You may not remember me nor have you met me, but you know me, darling, that much is certain."
Last edited by silenteve on Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:36 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance]

#3 Post by silenteve » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:41 am

Plot is being constantly revised before production can begin. However, the overall feel of the story is there and I'm sure of the beginning, middle, and possibly even the end.

The kind of feedback I need now is this:
1. Should this be a Kinetic novel or a Visual novel?
2. Would you play this game?
3. Is the plot interesting?
4. And any other comments you can think of.

Any kind of feedback would be extremely helpful to me and to this project.
Last edited by silenteve on Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance][Looking for team!

#4 Post by ShadowBerry » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:17 am

I can't help but to feel attracted to the Scarecrow...Im weird I know :/

A very good story and I am curious about the end, no matter how it turns out.
R.I.P Bel u__u
poor girl~
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance][Looking for team!

#5 Post by Nellie » Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:35 pm

I am somehow interested to know what will happen... I vote for a KN lol xD
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance][Looking for team!

#6 Post by silenteve » Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:37 pm

So that's one for kinetic.
Good to know, thank you :)
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance][Looking for team!

#7 Post by silenteve » Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:46 pm

ShadowBerry wrote:I can't help but to feel attracted to the Scarecrow...Im weird I know :/

A very good story and I am curious about the end, no matter how it turns out.
R.I.P Bel u__u
poor girl~
Not wierd at all. I've always been into the sort of forbidden love thing, with creepy guys.
I mean, if the Joker was real, I would go after him (and then, of course, he'd kill me but...)

Yeah, Bel was just incredibly unlucky. But if it wasn't for that, we'd have no story so there's this silver lining thing, haha...
Glad to know you're interested, thank you :)))
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Supernatural, Romance][Looking for team!

#8 Post by ShadowBerry » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:13 am

Well, the Joker is another thing...I don't like his make-up xD
But yeah..I love such love relations too *_*
Dark, dangerous guys...and you two have a hate-love relationshiop...god only to think about that and i get goosebumps >///<
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#9 Post by silenteve » Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:24 pm

*Added two new characters, August and Katherina :)
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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#10 Post by Kyonko802 » Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:22 am

Looks like a solid story fit for a KN. Waiting warmly to see where this goes.
Currently trying to regain my sanity.

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Re: Scarecrow [GxB][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#11 Post by silenteve » Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:41 pm

Kyonko802 wrote:Looks like a solid story fit for a KN. Waiting warmly to see where this goes.
Looks like it's gonna be a KN then. No alternate ending. Maybe I'll make a good end and then a true end :)
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Re: Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#12 Post by silenteve » Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:41 am

*Added one last main character
I fixed up most of the plot. It's going to be a kinetic novel with two endings : The one Good End that is very easily obtainable, and the True End that requires a bit more work to receive after the Good End.
I'll begin the project sometime this year, hopefully. I'm more focused on my other VN right now, so when I find time and inspiration, I'll begin this one :)

Somehow the story line has come off as a sort of horror story, rather than a romance. Hmm, I should probably change the title...
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Re: Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#13 Post by Kyonko802 » Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:02 am

Well, the beginning of the story does kinda seem like it's setting up for horror. The concept is great though.
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Re: Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#14 Post by ShadowBerry » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:36 am

it's horror romance o_o
I think its pretty good <3
*roots for the Scarecrow*
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Re: Scarecrow [KN][Otome, Supernatural] (Feedback?)

#15 Post by silenteve » Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:50 am

ShadowBerry wrote:it's horror romance o_o
I think its pretty good <3
*roots for the Scarecrow*
I'M SO SORRY, BUT THE WAY I WROTE THE STORYLINE FOR SCARECROW YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE HIM ANYMORE WHEN YOU GET TO PLAY THE GAME T-T
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