Valentine Square [BxG][High School Romance]

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sciencewarrior
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Valentine Square [BxG][High School Romance]

#1 Post by sciencewarrior »

Valentine Square is an unabashedly bubbly high school love story, with all the moments of miscellaneous fun that you would expect from it, which begins in Valentine's Day (surprise!) when second-year student Yuuji Shirano receives an indecent proposal from his crush and president of his club, Shiori Mitsuka:
"I know I'm a horrible person for asking you this, and I don't care if you hate me, but I spent the whole night making chocolate for Ken, and I know he won't accept it, unless..." her voice trailed off, so I completed it for her.

"Unless the girl he likes is dating his best friend."

"Yes," she replied, almost inaudibly.

My chest tightened. As much as I didn't want to see her sad, I couldn't accept it. Clearly she hadn't thought this hare-brained scheme through, or she would realize how absurd it was. "Let me see if I understood it. You want me to leave this room, ask my childhood friend out on false pretenses, then go to my best friend and tell him I betrayed him, just so you can give him a box of chocolate."

I knew I was right to be indignant, but I still felt remorse when her eyes filled with tears. "You make it sound awful."
Now, four high school students will have a one-month crash-course on what it means to love and being loved.

The Cast:

Yuuji, the curmudgeon:
The ambitious, over-achieving, anxiety-prone vice-president of the Literature Club. Behind the facade of perfect student, he hides a few secrets, like his platonic crush on...

Shiori, the natural:
The Literature Club president; a natural genius when it comes to writing and a natural air-head when it comes to everything else. Naive to the point of being dangerous, she decides to get Yuuji's help to conquer her white knight...

Ken, the good friend:
The upbeat captain of the basketball club, and Yuuji's best friend. A good guy and team player through and through. He is infatuated with...

Tenri Miyamoto, the beauty:
Yuuji's childhood friend. She is beautiful, smart, confident, and extremely popular in school. As the third girl in the family that runs the town's best inn, she learned that the only way to get attention was to excel. And excel she does, but at what price?
Last edited by sciencewarrior on Mon May 14, 2012 7:32 am, edited 3 times in total.
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
It allows you to share files with your team, keeps backups of previous versions, and is ridiculously easy to use.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#2 Post by ffs_jay »

Sounds like a lot of fun, looking forward to it.

I have to say, your English is excellent for a non-native writer. If you hadn't said, I'd never have guessed. I'm super busy with my own stuff, but if you're in a pinch and you can't find another proofreader, I'll help out as much as I can.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#3 Post by Applegate »

She plays the clarinet in the Jazz Club.
You now have the full force of my attention.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#4 Post by kaleidofish »

This project has one of my favorite things when it comes to high school romance stories - messy love drama. Can't wait to see it finished. Like ffs_jay, I'm busy with a lot of my own stuff, but I'm willing to proofread if you don't need it done extremely fast. Good luck with your VN. :D
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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#5 Post by sciencewarrior »

Thank you, ffs_jay and kaleidofish! I know a few strange-sounding sentences and misused prepositions will slip by me, so even a quick skim by a second or third pair of eyes will be greatly appreciated. As for the story, my starting point was "how messy can I make the relationship between 2 boys and 2 girls without yuri/yaoi?"

Applegate, sadly, due to resource constraints, the jazz club plays a very small part in the story. Oh, the things I would do with an extra backgrounds, a couple of CGs, and a jazzy, sensual clarinet theme. Agh!
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
It allows you to share files with your team, keeps backups of previous versions, and is ridiculously easy to use.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#6 Post by Applegate »

sciencewarrior wrote:Applegate, sadly, due to resource constraints, the jazz club plays a very small part in the story. Oh, the things I would do with an extra backgrounds, a couple of CGs, and a jazzy, sensual clarinet theme. Agh!
You have broken my heart like bricks through glass. Jazz is my favourite music genre and I'd read any Visual Novel, regardless of how completely awful and terrible it is if it gave me wonderful jazz and had a main character appreciative of it! EDIT: Er, no implications about your story whatsoever. It actually sounds interesting, although I'm not really a fan of Japanese settings if you aren't, well, Japanese.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#7 Post by gekiganwing »

It sounds like your main character will be a guy named Yuuji, and that your story will focus on messy heterosexual relationships. Will your game fit into any category, such as BxG pairings? Or are you taking some other approach? (Multiple viewpoints, relationships already determined, emphasis on friendship, etc.) If you've found an interesting way to portray or present love triangles, then I will be even more interested.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#8 Post by sciencewarrior »

Applegate, don't worry, I know what you mean. About the setting, at first, I wasn't too keen on the idea of making a "weeaboo VN", but I realized a few things:
  • You should write what you know, and I know a lot more about Japanese high schoolers, at least the idealized version from manga, than I know about American college students or British aristocrats.
  • I didn't know if I would find an artist interested in joining the project, and setting it in Japan would make it a lot easier to find high quality assets.
  • Some stories just don't work as well in other settings. You can tell a story in which walking side by side on the way to school is a big deal. In more "touchsy" societies, like Brazil, even a kiss and a hug in public are considered normal.
gekiganwing, the game is definitely BxG: it is all told from the main character's point of view, and his relationship with one of the girls is the main focus. The reason I didn't use this label is because I'm trying to put a few twists in the gal-game formula. For starters, I'm working to make the main character appealing, and not just a bland, super-average guy. I think many players will find it easy to identify themselves with a bookish guy like him, but it isn't the main goal.

In the same line, the main character's friend isn't just a dumb jock, or your regular "oh man, why do you get all the girls?" foil. In many ways, he is a better man than his friend, and a perfectly legitimate love rival. Which leads to my last, spoilerish point:
It kind of bugs me to start a game, have the player character faling in love with a heroine, developing a relationship, helping her face her fears, having all these heartwarming moments... then pressing "new game" and essentialy throwing her under the bus to go after the next skirt. Or go through a "hidden route" that feels like a hand-waving cop-out (with notable exceptions). I wanted a game where you could have at least one super-happy, no-one-left-behind ending built right into the structure (as I said, unabashedly bubbly). And this is all I'll say about it. :)
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
It allows you to share files with your team, keeps backups of previous versions, and is ridiculously easy to use.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#9 Post by Applegate »

About the setting, at first, I wasn't too keen on the idea of making a "weeaboo VN"
Not my point exactly. I meant that most stories I see which star in Japan would work just as well if the entire drama had played out in Venice, New York or Brussels; the specific decision to make it Japanese begs the writer to take into consideration Japanese society, but this isn't always done. Call it a pet peeve; if you go out of your way to make it a specific setting, at least consider the setting beyond "Mashiro Amano-kun is a cooler name than Jack Smith".

I do entirely understand writing what you know and subscribe to it, so if you're confident you've a stronger grasp on Japanese things, then there's absolutely no problem.

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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#10 Post by emichii »

i really like the idea and story you've got so far. :)
what positions are you looking for?

sciencewarrior
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Re: Love² [High School Romance]

#11 Post by sciencewarrior »

Hi emichii, thanks for the interest! I'm checking the project's status here, and I'll send you a PM later, okay?
Applegate wrote:Not my point exactly. I meant that most stories I see which star in Japan would work just as well if the entire drama had played out in Venice, New York or Brussels; the specific decision to make it Japanese begs the writer to take into consideration Japanese society, but this isn't always done.
I see. Yeah, I chose Japan because I wanted to tell a PG story, in which the first kiss would be a huge event. I know that even in Japan a kiss isn't the world-shattering moment of intimacy it used to be, but it will still require less suspension of disbelief than in a country where friends make out to pass the time.
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
It allows you to share files with your team, keeps backups of previous versions, and is ridiculously easy to use.

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