Fragment [GxB] [WIP]

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Mumble315
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Fragment [GxB] [WIP]

#1 Post by Mumble315 »

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ώэℓćøრë
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》Įиҭø:
I guess to start out, I should mention that I am fairly new to making a game itself, but have played various different styles of games. This would be my first game in general, but I have had the idea rattling around in my head for a while. I don't think the game is going to be ready anytime soon, but it should be ready by fall/winter time of this year, spring of 2013 at the latest. So thanks for being patient? On a side note, I love having a stylized (if that is even a word) text like the welcome and the intro. I don't think I am going to include that in the game though....
All the datable guy's names have meaning~
(well except for Narmer/Menes, he is named after an actual Pharaoh)
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》Ģαӎë:
Edited:
The basic idea of the game at this point, is it's going to be a GxB VN. The story will start off with the protagonist going to school. She isn't considered popular, but not weird. She is stuck in social limbo. Her history class is going on a field trip to a new Egyptian museum that just opened up. There is this stone tablet that is the main attraction, it is said to have been written by Pharaoh Narmer/Menes (same guy, but called two different names) himself. Legends say that the tablet was the key to lock up Apep (name not set in stone). However demons and devils don't exist...or so we thought. The class is able to pick up a fragment of the tablet and look at the hieroglyphics. When the protagonist picks it up, she gets a cut. Her blood triggers the seal that was set on the tablet, releasing the foul creature within. Time stops for the modern day, as your character is sent back to Egypt. Her goal is to re-create the tablet and make sure it is in good hands, for who knows the destructive power Apep has....

A little fact:
The tablet was created by Narmer/Menes, his blood was the key to sealing the demon. The protagonist is a descendent from the royal family, however she is not the descendent from Narmer/Menes. I want to make the pharaoh a datable guy, and it would be somewhat weird if the protagonist and the guy are related even if there is over 3000 years between them.
You will find out how she is related in the story.
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》Ҁhȧяȧҫҭєŗ:
So I have a basic idea for some of the characters. Don't have images yet, or a full bio.

The Protagonist:
Bio: An older teenage girl, roughly 15-18 (haven't decided age, thinking about 17 though...). She isn't socially awkward, but she doesn't fit in the popular crowd. She loves her history and loves the outdoors. She isn't afraid to get messy, pretty much. I don't want to give her that much of a personality, because I want the choices to reflect who she is, and you have the power of the choices.
She is going to have long black hair, and is slightly darker than most. Her ancestors are Egyptian after all. For eye color, she is going to have a yellow eye and a green eye. Click

EGYPTIAN:
-Datable guys-
Narmer/Menes
He is the current Pharaoh of Egypt. In the game he is going to be a young adult, roughly 21-23. He is the pharaoh known for connecting both Upper and Lower Egypt, and this will play a part in the game. He is selfless, and kind. However he doesn't like talking to people, unless he has too. He would sacrifice himself for the best of his nation. He is loved by his mistress, though he never 'does' anything with them. They love the cold shoulder attitude, they believe he is the cool sort of guy, but really he is kind of shy and doesn't want to try anything, till he finds the one woman he could trust ruling Egypt...and a bunch of floozies isn't going to be that certain someone.
Looks: He is a taller man, dark toned skin. Golden eyes, showing his connection to the royal family. Has about shoulder length black hair, no facial features (such as a goatee or side burns) but he does have his ear's pierced with golden scarabs.

Akil
He is Narmer's closet friend. He is also the adviser for the royal family. He is a smart ass and also cocky, however he doesn't show it off. He sticks to himself most of the time, other wise he is either helping out Narmer or working. He doesn't mind talking to people, but only if they could hold a decent conversation or does/has something that interests him. He is loyal to his friends, but isn't the one to extend a hand to a stranger.
Looks: Same height as Narmer, dark toned skin. Green eyes, and longer white hair. No facial features except for a tattoo under his left eye.

Amun
He was born in a low class family. His family is actually in debt with the royal family, so Amun works as a servant to try to pay off his family's debt. He acts on his impulse, then thinks. Everyone treats him as a trouble maker, though he never personally did anything. Its just his family name. He does have a soft side, but the only person that has seen it is his sister (who is also a servant and becomes close friends with the protagonist). A notable trait in Amun, is his pessimistic and realist view on life.
Looks: He is as tall as the protagonist. Has a tan skin tone, brown hair and blue eyes. Has tattoo's on his arms and face.

Hasani
He is a rich noble. He also thinks highly of himself, and is vain. The mistress of the royal family call him the player, for he is known to capture hearts of any woman he sees.(When the girls aren't chasing Narmer, they follow Hasani around) He gets along well with Akil, for both of them are cocky and smart asses, however Hasani only jokes around with his closet friends. He loves the luxury life, and usually hangs out in the palace with Akil and Narmer. His goal for the time being is to find the Pharaoh a wife.
Looks: Shorter than Narmer/Menes. Lighter skin, blond hair and blue eyes. He is usually adorn with some sort of gold jewelry, or something of high value to show his status.

Apep (name not set in stone)
He is the demon that wants to rule the world. He is very prideful, and loves to show off. When he is roaming around, he can be found in alleyway's fighting to show his strength. He is a strategical thinker, but when his pride is on the line....he acts on impulse rather than thought. He loves playing around with mortals, setting them on the wrong path, or making them do something terrible. (he kind of feeds of off that stuff...) He is immortal, but he looks around 19-22. "Cause I have to try to fit in with you little mortals..."
Looks: Has red hair, dark skin, yellow eyes. Has tattoo's on both arms, and one under his eye. Always carrying some sort of sword.
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》pяōġʀэșʂ
Well, I have the main character's short bio's up. That is a start.....

Music:
(not set in stone...well i think the battle scene one is...)
Thinking this song for getting a blessing...
When the protagonist succeeds in sealing the demon lord...If she wishes
Battle scene maybe?
The Menu, maybe...
Or this...
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》 Ѻтћɘʀ
Well, if anyone has any links for any sort of tutorial that would be uber amazing. Well thanks for stopping by, and please tell me what you think so far, and if you have any ideas or want to point something out, thanks again~


Tell me what you think?:
-Thoughts on 'favorite' character?
-Plot?
-Music?
-Ideas?
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》Đᾱҭӭʂ
5/20: Updated the characters, fixed some spelling issues. Have the guys bio's up.
5/17: Updated. Now making 2 games, similar styles yet different pasts. Updated characters as well
5/16: Posted "Fragment" on the LSF forums
Last edited by Mumble315 on Sun May 20, 2012 10:05 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Fragment [WIP] [GxB]
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gekiganwing
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Re: Fragment [GxB] [WIP]

#2 Post by gekiganwing »

Overall, I'd recommend choosing one of the two settings. It *sounds* like your character will end up in ancient Egypt or Japan, and that the two will not intersect. But if your two stories are in fact related, then write both of them. And if you intend to examine the differences and similarities in your character's adventures, then write both of them.

Also, you need to think about how much of your game will be based in real history. There were spies, mercenaries, and assassins in historical Japan, but a lot of ninja stories are strictly fiction. And while there are plenty of stories about ancient Egypt, some of them might make Yu-Gi-Oh look like a historical document. Consider what times and places you want to portray, and then decide how you're going to portray it.
Mumble315 wrote:Her school decides to take a field trip to an ancient museum, and in the museum there is this stone tablet (well part of the tablet) on display for the first time.
Reading that reminded me of the superhero origin story from the 2002 Spiderman movie. But I checked Wikipedia, and it turns out that scene occurred in "a genetics laboratory," not a science museum. And even in the 1962 comic Amazing Fantasy #15, a similar spider scene occurs in "a science exhibit."

Mumble315
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Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:50 pm
Projects: Fragment [GxB] WIP
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Re: Fragment [GxB] [WIP]

#3 Post by Mumble315 »

gekiganwing wrote:Overall, I'd recommend choosing one of the two settings. It *sounds* like your character will end up in ancient Egypt or Japan, and that the two will not intersect. But if your two stories are in fact related, then write both of them. And if you intend to examine the differences and similarities in your character's adventures, then write both of them.

Also, you need to think about how much of your game will be based in real history. There were spies, mercenaries, and assassins in historical Japan, but a lot of ninja stories are strictly fiction. And while there are plenty of stories about ancient Egypt, some of them might make Yu-Gi-Oh look like a historical document. Consider what times and places you want to portray, and then decide how you're going to portray it.
Mumble315 wrote:Her school decides to take a field trip to an ancient museum, and in the museum there is this stone tablet (well part of the tablet) on display for the first time.
Reading that reminded me of the superhero origin story from the 2002 Spiderman movie. But I checked Wikipedia, and it turns out that scene occurred in "a genetics laboratory," not a science museum. And even in the 1962 comic Amazing Fantasy #15, a similar spider scene occurs in "a science exhibit."
Thanks for commenting ^^
I didn't even think about spider man, guess it is similar....
It's going to be more fiction than realistic, though I think I will add some historical figures.
Like the Egypt one, I will have the pharaoh Narmer (famous for uniting upper and lower egypt)/Menes

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