A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP]

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cryinglaughter
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A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP]

#1 Post by cryinglaughter » Wed May 30, 2012 8:09 am

Cheesy name, I know, and I'm sorry D':
Its not a completely official name, I'm just trying to think of a name I can slap on this project o:
I'm not a very good writer, and I've never really written anything, including stuff like this so... please go easy on me!

And, this will be on the Ren'py visual novel engine, so 800x600 and all of that goodness.
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PLOT:

The plot, basically, is you're a young teenage girl who, when she was younger, received a small box from her father who was out on his usual weekly business trips. The box contained a small trinket that he had saved from her mother, and an envelope stating that she was to attend a very renowned school that him and her mother had went to to meet each other. She didn't know what it meant, and thought very little about it other than the fact that she'd get to know more about her mother, whom had gone on a long trip to a place where her father would not say. Reaching the proper age to go to high school, she travels to the town her aunt lives in, the town that she had lived in from a very early age. The high school seems very odd, as it is not in the town, but rather far away from it, and the only way to get there was to take another train to it. After spending a week of trying to remember what little you recall of your childhood, you go to the school to find a surprise. Cats, dogs, foxes, boars, teenagers covered in fur or scales, completely pale and with fierce looks, people flying in with wings sprouting from their backs, or with bright red eyes appearing out of nowhere! You are completely shocked at what you see, and a bit horrified. Why are you there, and why didn't your father tell you what kind of school this is?! It turns out to be a monster (although they don't like to be called such) training school, a school where kids can reveal what they are and try to control it. Your goal is to find out who your mother was, what you and your family IS, make friends to try to get through four confusing and terrifying years, and possibly get a boyfriend.

CHARACTERS:

(None of the names are official. I had greek names set aside for them that were temporary, but a friend didn't think they sounded like real names, so I decided to use temporary everyday names)
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Virie (Name might be changeable, this name isn't official)
Age: 14-18 (Starts out 14)
Personality: Headstrong, Curious
Part: Heroine, Protagonist


GUYS TO DATE O; (Main, so far o; )

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Jude
Age: 18-22
Personality: Quiet, Cold
Part: One of the main courtable men.

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Mason
Age: 17-21
Personality: Funloving, Happy
Part: One of the main courtable men.

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Alex
Age: 16-20
Personality: Sneaky, Teasing
Part: One of the courtable men.

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Ethan
Age: 15-19
Personality: Shy, Intelligent.
Part: One of the main courtable men.

Friends;

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Semira
Age: 15-19
Female
Personality: To herself, Intelligent

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Brynn
Age: 14-18
Female
Personality: Shy, Sweet

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Leighton
Age: 16-20
Female
Personality: Sporty, Outgoing
Other characters (so far);

??? (May up ending the human dateable target)
Age: 15
Male
Description: a human childhood friend of the main character, who secretly had a crush on her throughout the years. Used to crossdress, but stopped so he could become manlier, being hurt by some words that other kids would bully him with. He works at the main characters' aunts inn after school, and is the middle child of a friend of your (the main characters) mothers.

???
Age: 18
Male
Description: Crossdresses as a female, and was the one to get ^ to start doing it himself. He pretends to be a female, but is a huge playboy with all of the females at the school. Somehow. The eldest child of a friend of your mothers.

???
Age: 14
Male (?)
Description: A boy with longer hair than his two siblings ^, but acts more... boyish. I.e., wearing boy clothes and acting like a natural and normal teenage boy. One of the first guys you meet, who also becomes a friend later on.

???
Age: ???
Female
Description: Your aunt, who lives in the top room of the inn. She hasn't been seen by anyone except the middle child ^, whom is her caretaker, and the only one she trusts to come in. Has a pretty bad illness, so she doesn't want anyone to start to like her, fearing they might get sad if she died.

Irielle (?)
Age: 16
Female
Description: One of the most popular demons at the school, she belongs to the ice elemental royal family. She's not too bad of an enemy, but an enemy. Not much is known about her.

???
Age: somewhere between 4-10 (?)
Female
Description: A little girl who appears at the highschool a lot to try to give wisdom when needed. Not much is known about her, and her eyes are covered by hair.

Races;;
(The main races I've thought of, but the names will probably change and so will the information)

Elfs
Animal Gijinka (?) (Shapeshifters, after learning to transform into humans, they strived to learn how to shapeshift into more things)
Ocean Walkers (Basically mermaids, but without the tail, and with more folklore and side things)
Humans (Just recently accepted into the highschool to try to integrate the most hated race, trying to make peace)
Demons
Angels (More often teachers than students, angels usually study in Heaven (or so humans call it) until their studies are complete, and then come down to earth to keep the Demons and other races in line. If they don't finish their studies in time, they come down to study on earth.)
Elementals (Sometimes different races have certain affinities, which places them in Elementals. Of course, with the exception of Ocean Walkers.)

That's all that I've really thought about for the story.
Thanks for reading! Please give feedback or comments, I'd love to hear what anyone has to say.



PS; I have a blog documenting me trying to create this game, if anyone would like to check it out.
http://cryinglaughterproductions.blogspot.com/

Thanks again c':

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Re: A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP

#2 Post by fleet » Wed May 30, 2012 11:28 am

I'm not into high school stories, but lots of folks like them, so I'm confident that you'll get feedback.
I wish you success, and recommend you have the dialog proofread before releasing the final version. Your English is very good, but even the best writers make an occasional typographical error.
I hope you enjoy making your VN.
All of my VNs are at http://wolflore.net NOTE: Downloads are now working.
Some are at http://www.the-new-lagoon.com. NSFW
Poorly done hand-drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.

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cryinglaughter
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Re: A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP

#3 Post by cryinglaughter » Wed May 30, 2012 1:07 pm

Thank you! I thought that by making it a school story, I could fit in some cool information that I couldn't fit into conversations normally. As in saying something like... I don't know... "Ocean walkers can only breathe (insert time here), until they either have to come up for air or drown (which I don't think I'll put into the story. I might, but that's just for example and hasn't been decided yet :'D). Or, say, how the Demons' hierarchy or class system works, which will have huge impacts later. Stuff that's really tough to just start up in a normal conversation, but will have significance later on. It could be done, but I wanted it to have more of a school-like cool factoids every now and then c': But I understand some people might not like them, and thank you for wishing me success c': And also thank you for the advice! I know I may misspell something along the way, so it's always good to have someone proofread it. Thank you, again! C:

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Re: A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP

#4 Post by crystalxelement » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:34 pm

You were going to use Greek names!? I personally think it sounds cool. The school does have, not-everyday-people in it. I see there are going to be regular humans in it as well. I think they should have the regular names. The more common names to make the humans distinct from the "monsters".

For the title, I think you should name it with something that will be significant to the story.
Unless the cloudy sky will be significant like, her mom and dad met under a cloudy sky.
Can we also know what types of race the characters are? It's hard to tell for well...what most of them are.

Keeping my eye out on this. I hope to help as much as I can.

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Re: A Cloudy Sky (GxB, GxG) [Fantasy, School Life] [Idea/WIP

#5 Post by Katty16 » Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:35 pm

Looks like a nice game, and I love the characters
Wish you good luck

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