First Love, Last Love ([GxB] for now...)

[iamkaykei]

First Love, Last Love(F3L)(working title)

Story:
Since her youth, Celia has been in and out of hospitals. As a result, she lacked the normal teenage experience. Now, at 16 years old, she finds out from her doctor that she has only a month at most to live if a donor heart is not matched to hers. Despite being forbidden to leave the hospital as she needs to be able to receive medical treatment at a moment's notice, she wishes to experience an emotion called love. Luckily for her, her possibly last month at the hospital allows her many chances to meet guys. Will she be able to find love in a month?

Characters
Dante

Age: 17
Personality: Tsundere
Description:
Dante is F3L's male lead, he has the same condition as Celia. In the past, Dante was Celia's 'hospital buddy' and each other's first love until he moved to another city with his mum after his parent's divoirce. Now after his mum's death, has been transferred back to the same hospital Celia is staying in as he is now living with his dad. Dante meets Celia again as a result of his horrible sense of direction accidentally entering Celia's room instead of his one next door.

Dominic
Age: 20
Personality: Sadistic
Description:
Dominique is Celia's attendent/tutor. More later...

Adam
Age: 13
Personality: Happy go lucky
Description: F3L's Shota character. Runs into Celia's rom to hide from getting a a blood test. More later...
~~SPECIAL CHARACTERS~~

Red
Age: 19
Personality: Fiery
Description:
Red is an aspiring musician was in a car crash whilst traveling to a concert sebsequently sent to Celia's hospital. Although his life was saved, he lost use of his right hand and remains in the hospital to recieve treatment for it.

Character extra: Song he composes for heroine.

Cecil
Age: 16
Description:
Celia's twin brother. (Will add more later...)

Progress
[ ] Not started
[~] In Progress
[X] Completed

[ ] Planning and writing 1 more normal Character
[X]Story for Dante's route
[~]Story for Cecil's route
[~]Story for Red's route


Please give me your opinion on how F3L sounds right now. Thank you in advance.

[gekiganwing]

I searched through the Visual Novel Database a bit, found plenty of BxG stories set in a hospital, though only one BxB story set in a hospital. (It's called "Shounen-tachi no Byoutou." Just be warned that it has NSFW content.) Couldn't find any relevant content with GxB pairings. You may have something unique here. Perhaps your game might be a reverse harem equivalent of Kana Little Sister...

An important question to consider: will Celia die no matter what happens? If nothing the player does can keep her alive for more than a month, then that will make a serious difference in what themes you convey, and how you shape your story.

I'm curious what sort of role Dominique will have. Being an attendant and a tutor is certainly respectable, but it's difficult to make a sadistic character sympathetic...

Think about what sort of relationship your main character might have with a younger boy. It's probably best to keep it as worksafe as possible.

Finally, it sounds like Celia has a brother. Maybe he is simply one individual in her family, and his relationship with her is storge (non-sexual affection between people in a family). But if you want to write them as a possible romantic couple, it's your decision.

[iamkaykei]

Thanks for your thoughts and opinions ^-^

It's gonna be M-ish just because of one ending for now... Nothing sexual in nature (personally I believe a emotional relationship).

Dominique: harsh, mocking, sarcastic and enjoys being like that. Imagine a teacher who likes tormenting students. If he was my attendant, I would never get him to bring me a cup of tea because I don't want to hurt my tongue lol)

Good end: Doesn't die or uncertain future and all has a many years later thing
Bad end: Dies + funeral (different dialogue but same pic of her in a flower filled coffin)
Bittersweet End: It's. A. Secret. ~~

If you go for a bad end she might be gone before the month is over.

Adam: Good end: They have a brother sister-ish relationship and become romantic in the years later when they're both adults

Cecil: Non-sexual romantic relationship. They will have a romantic end (especially after a friend of mine dissed the bro/sis pairing in Angel Sanctuary)

Underlying message of the game - When you die your organs are useless to you so become an organ donor to give someone another chance.

And I will check out the story of Kana Little Sister as I want to ensure F3L is not to similar to it as I want to try and preserve its originality.

Edit:BTW can anyone tell me how I can edit the topic title? Thanks.

[gekiganwing]

First, if you look around your first post, you should see an Edit button. After you start to edit it, you should be able to change the subject as well as the message body.

I thought "Dominique" was a woman's name. Perhaps it's unisex... but I think a similar but appropriate name for a guy would be "Dominic."

It sounds like Celia will survive in at least one ending. Will she gain more than a relationship? Will she receive any insights, or grow in maturity? After she leaves the hospital, will she be ready to achieve any goals?

Kana Little Sister is an adult visual novel, as it has a few on-screen sex scenes. But it's mostly a serious drama about growing up. It can seem like a contrived soap opera at times, but as long as you're old enough, you should read it at least once. MAJOR spoilers ahead:

In some ways, this visual novel is about what Taka learns, as well as about how Kana grows. By making specific decisions, the player (taking Taka's role) influences Kana's mindset.

In five of the six endings, Kana dies. This definitely affects Taka, but he learns a lot from the experiences. In just one ending, the title character is still alive. She has a decent relationship with Taka, but they eventually go separate ways. It's difficult to say if there is a "best" ending. If you ask me, I thought that even though Taka's relationship with Yumi was kind of a mess, they made a better couple...

Speaking of organ donation, it's certainly a noble thing to do. But if your character is facing death, and it seems inevitable, is there any reason why a person would *not* voluntarily donate their organs?

[iamkaykei]

Ah! You're right! I thought Dominic was spelt Dominique thanks for picking that up lol.

I think she would gain more than just a relationship as it would be strange if she didn't. Celia is already a mature person because of the things she has to go through (although she can still be immature sometimes) so I think her gaining maturity is unnecessary. She will gain insight as she knows how it feels to be close to death and value it very much and want others to as well. After all, people who don't value life and waste it are disrespecting those who are dying and wishing to have a chance at it. Some potential future jobs for her (maybe for the years later ending) would be surgeon, something to do with dating children or a psycologist (maybe work with dying children or suicidal people).

I think I'll play Kana Little Sister after I finish F3L.

About organ donations although there may be many registered organ donors, the consent rate in Australia (where I live) is low. Apparently less than 60% of the families of deceased registered donors consent (Your family has to give the final OK in Australia)

[DeepObsession]

Sounds pretty deep. I have the feeling I'm going to cry in this game T-T I'm such a cry baby xD. BUT awesome plot. Just make sure you have in mind the MC's Personality. You probably already have the idea, but I just want to throw this in:

There are of course different personalities a person who is practically facing death might have. Some people might act reckless you know. Like the type "oh what the hell I'm going to die anyway, might as well do what I want and enjoy my last days." But there are also the type that never gives up, and has hope you know the "I have to have faith. I know I can fight dead if I believe." And lastly there are the ones who just give up on everything, you know the "I don't want to keep on living. There is no hope, I just want to wait for my death to arrive, and I don't want to associate with anybody because it will make it hard and painful when I have to leave." There are plenty of personalities, and well each person has a different point of view and behavior.

Stuff like that, maybe you can have this in mind as the player's choices? (you don't really have to, I'm just trying to contribute ^^ and well I'm not that experienced and much less I've never been in this kind of situation) You know like the choices define your personality. If not then it's ok ^^ I'm totally looking forward to your progress on such an awesome plot. Good luck! and Cheers!!

[iamkaykei]

Thanks for your encouragement (I'll do my best c: ) and input it's very helpful (I was full on working on the plot and scripting too much that I almost forgot about the MC's personality lol) ^^. I plan for the MC's personality to be different depending on the route. Maybe in one she is never going to give up while in another she has no hopes. And yes I agree, choices, events and people shape the personality =).