Simple Summer [GxB][Mystery,Romance]

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Gumm_p0p
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Simple Summer [GxB][Mystery,Romance]

#1 Post by Gumm_p0p » Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:45 pm

I didn't want to post this since it wasn't ready yet...but I need help. :cry:

I call this my first visual novel not my first ideas though so.........no big deal.

ookaayy, here I go....

-----------------------------------------

Plot:
Age Rating: 16+

-Katherine a.k.a. Kathy decided that she will visit her family over the summer vacation after not seeing them for a year. What she doesn't know is that just as she arrives there.
  • ~She became the talk of the town.
  • ~Her longtime friends decided she needs a boyfriend after years of being single.
  • ~And her family, mostly her parent decided to host an elaborate party to welcome her home.
All in those 2 days she arrived.
But the only thing she wanted was a simple relaxation and fun time with her family and friends before she goes back to college but that aren’t going to happen now is it.

--------------------------------------------

Character:

[MC]Katherine Swenson (Kathy):
- 19 year old
- She left her hometown for an out-of-state college hasn’t been back for a year but still keep in contact with her folks. A very blunt girl who knows how to be polite when needed, she also has a history of knowing too much.

Owen Swenson:
- 16 year old.
- A sophomore in high school who in his rebelliousness stage, but deep inside is still the little awkward younger brother Kathy knows and teases.

Brea (Swenson) Rowell:
- 25 year old.
- Older sister of Kathy who is attending college online to balance her lifestyle as a mother to her 5 year old son. She is very bright and elegant but also a bit mischievous with those she is close with.

Irvin Rowell:
- 5 year old.
- A shy boy to stranger but very energetic chatter mouths to other he close with especially to her mom side of the family.

Mattie Pagan:
- Been with Kathy since middle school that follows all the fashion trends. A big flirt and quite a persuasive person attending a fashion institute. She is one of the biggest player in town but also one of the beauties.

Suzanna Wincer (Suzy):
- Known Kathy since preschool, an intelligent happy-go-lucky girl who is attending a private university and in a relationship.

Anna Krause (Ann):
- Been with Kathy since high school, a friendly manipulative person who does what she can to get what she wants. She is single attending a public university.

Felicia Hath (Fee):
-Attending a public university with Ann but also working as a part-timer. Very laid back, boyish, but recently just became single. She also known Kathy all her life.

Juno Tomean:
-Met Kathy in high school but didn’t attend college right after high school, working a full time job right now. Love to gossip and taking a break from study, still single.

---------------------------
FOR THE BOYS.
It just too many of them, in total it was supposed to be 4 and the rest would just be obstacle but I kind of took pity on them so I added them to the list and ended up to 9. HOWEVER I won't put them here just yet (it will be long).
________________________________________

Progress:
- Not much.
I decided to draw last after I complete everything since personally I would be forever stuck there if I did it first, for the story it coming along great. The only I thing I'm really focusing right now is Ren'py. It not really the programming that worry me though...maybe it is.

Q&A:

Q: "Isn't 9 too much for your first game?"
A: "Yes, but on each route it not going to be you and him only more like a love triangle route where you had to pick one of them. There are some that include only one route for boys but it not because they are special alright."

Q: "Will it be sim-dating game?"
A: "No, it will just be a traditional visual novel where decision you make change the behavior of the boys and shape the ending for you."

Q: "So...no picture?"
A: "...yes no picture but I did some concept design on them already so please wait for them."
___________________________________________________

Help:
* Text box design
* Main menu design
* ...

Also feedback and critique are welcome but please if you criticizing me give me some pointer so I could improve in that area. And the thing I need help on I will be posting the design soon.

gekiganwing
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Re: Simple Summer [GxB][Mystery,Romance]

#2 Post by gekiganwing » Mon Aug 20, 2012 4:21 am

I meant to offer feedback earlier. Too much stress, not enough proper time management...

Your main character has quite a few friends and family members. Are they all relevant to the story? Will each one of them have more than a moment or two on screen? I mention this because when a story has a large cast, there is a risk that characters' roles will overlap, and some of them will seem irrelevant.

Also, you said that most (all?) of the relationships in your game are "...more like a love triangle route where you had to pick one of them..." That is something I haven't seen before. Now I'm wondering how the characters will be sorted into triangles, as well as how early in the story this could happen.

Gumm_p0p
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Re: Simple Summer [GxB][Mystery,Romance]

#3 Post by Gumm_p0p » Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:51 am

gekiganwing wrote: Are they all relevant to the story? Will each one of them have more than a moment or two on screen?
Yes, they all will. Each of them contributes to the story and has their moment on the screen. However I think some of them are... might be irrelevant but let see how the route of each character process then I can consider who to kick off.
gekiganwing wrote:Also, you said that most (all?) of the relationships in your game are "...more like a love triangle route where you had to pick one of them..." That is something I haven't seen before. Now I'm wondering how the characters will be sorted into triangles, as well as how early in the story this could happen.
Yep! Almost though because they were already sorted to begin with I just made them obtainable with a interesting twist, as I said before, the other was just mere obstacle to get past so you can get the grand prize but I added them in there so you can choose them also if you like. It would be in toward the middle because she and them wouldn't actually meet yet.

Gumm_p0p
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Re: Simple Summer [GxB][Mystery,Romance]

#4 Post by Gumm_p0p » Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:12 am

okay feedback. I feel like something missing, it just feel so eh. Or maybe it just me.
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