New story.

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VerdeICe
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New story.

#1 Post by VerdeICe »

Well. I have an Idea. Still working out the bugs. And plot holes.

It is about a 17 year old girl who looks like a guy, she is asexual. She spends most of her life going through homes never having a real family. One day social services finds her real father who is the chief of police. She moves in with him. He isnt the "best" father. Very cold *or so it seems*.

It happens to be in the town where she grew up most of her life on the streets as a child.

The girl is wild, she spends most of her time fighting people, never acts like a lady.When enrolling into her new high-school she is challenged to a fight by the strongest guy in school, THIS GUY IS A BUTT. She kicks the c**p out of him. She also Kick the s***t out of the hottest guy in school. After that the boys become her rivals and friends. They rival her for everything, even things she couldn't care less about like girsl?! No body has realized that she is a girl yet.

One day she falls asleep in detention, the teacher trys to wake her up and she responds by socking him in the face and going back to sleep. The teacher decides she is a lost cause and leave her. She eventually wakes up and its the middle of the night.

She walks home realizing how late it is she decides to take a short cut through a dark ally. There she finds a girl about to be murdered by a tall young man with a gun. Of course the main character isnt a good person "yet" so she just walks by, not because she is scared, but because she couldn't care less. Untill the gun man makes her care by trying to kill her. So she kicks his a**.

Any waaay.... a lot of plot stuff happens. Turns out she beat the crud out of the mob bosses son. Her dad is a douche and awesome sauce.

Genre: Comedy, angst, romance, sports, fighting... and all that.

1) Several endings
2) Multiple guys to seduce with your fist? I guess..
3) None of that 30 day junk. I decide the when the plot ends. "evil laugh"
4) Mini games... maybe.
5) A strong female protagonist. None of that cute girly stuff.


Well, I don't know when it will be done. I am still working on character designs and scripts and plot. Sooooo Yea.

Is this worth making? I mean I probably going to make it any way but I would be nice to know if people would actually try the game after all those painful hours of drawing, programming, writing.

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Taleweaver
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Re: New story.

#2 Post by Taleweaver »

This is an idea, if I've ever seen one, and as such, I'm moving it into the Ideas forum.
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Re: New story.

#3 Post by SundownKid »

After looking at this, I really don't see the reason the main character should be a girl at all, except to make some kind of statement. If you're going to have a main character like that, it should at least address the problems she faces rather than just "well, tomboys are better because they can beat people up!"

It seems like it falls into the classic trap of believing that a strong female protagonist has to be a manly woman rather than just a smart/resourceful one.

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Re: New story.

#4 Post by fleet »

@VerdeIce,
Don't get discouraged; not everyone will like your story idea. Write the story the way you desire. If you wait for universal approval of your basic idea, you'll never write the story. Unless the art is especially bad, someone will play your VN.
Some of my visual novels are at http://www.the-new-lagoon.com. They are NSFW
Poorly done hand-drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.

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VerdeICe
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Re: New story.

#5 Post by VerdeICe »

Well. I didn't really want to describe the psychological aspects of the story in my post. It would be kinda spoiling. BUT, I guess I did spoil a lot anyway.

The reason I made her "manly" may have been a statement, I dont know yet. She beats people because she grew up believing only in her self. Its how she learned to solve her problems. Flash backs from her child hood show these different developments in her personality. Mostly that she cant trust anyone. Speaking dosnt keep older people from hurting you. Friends are only there for you when its convenient. Not believing in love causes her to be cynical, and violent.

That dose not mean she totally rejects people. She tolerates them once she feels they are no longer a threat. Never letting anyone close.

As for why I made it a woman at all? Because I wanted to see a strong woman for once. Sure, there are decently strong women out there but no matter what they do they are usually seen as the weaker individual. "they cant defend themselves" "They need protection"

Yea, I wanted a dominating woman. Making her look like a boy was a statement to the men around her, they will treat her as a complete equal, a rival, an enemy, or a friend. But regardless of her appearance it dose not change what she is. The story is completely dependent on who she is and what she may become decided by the choices you make. Anyway why dose a woman have to be clever and resourceful? I believe both men and women are the same. BOTH are capable of being clever and resourceful, I don't see why being a woman means she has to be that way (that dose not mean she isn't Fighting is a technical sport. It can be complicated when facing an equally strong opponent.) she can be just a good as a man. Equal.

Well, there might be more to her. This is just an Idea for now until I can cook up and conjure up some magic. I'm not the best writer in the world and only have basic ideas of real psychology, but yea... Ill try to keep it entertaining.

And it not just her I have to think about, there is soooo much stuffffffff. Its going to take forever. And then I have to do the game itself and direct it. But hey? If you guys got questions and Ideas then shoot. Ill listen. I need feed back more than anything.

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Re: New story.

#6 Post by magbie »

Well, you don't have much, so write some, and then ask for feedback. Or draw. Solo project, right?
This will take time and your general idea might change once you'll start creating the world, characters and writing stuff so just... throw yourself into it =)
You need to test the idea, instead of asking people for approval. They get what they get, just tell the story as you like it.

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Re: New story.

#7 Post by gekiganwing »

VerdeICe wrote:She spends most of her life going through homes never having a real family.
It seems your main character has been through quite a bit. She might be a violent person due to circumstances, or she might be putting up a tough front just to get through life. Either way, I think we will benefit if you let us see who she is. Help us understand her, through all her strengths and weaknesses.
VerdeICe wrote:Genre: Comedy, angst, romance, sports, fighting... and all that.

1) Several endings
Does your main character have a specific goal? Will there be emphasis on plot, slice of life, neither, or both? Do you want to focus on any one theme? And a somewhat related question: do you have specific plans for what you'll write, a general and flexible outline, or do you plan to write on the fly?

I'm curious to see what you can create. Maybe this will be an action driven story. Perhaps it will be a story about broken people who need to trust each other in order to survive the mob boss and his goons. Or about becoming more human and forming positive relationships, without losing one's unique identity. It could become a tragedy about using violence in the wrong situation, when another solution would be better. Many more options exist. Pick one and start writing. Good luck.

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Seigetsu
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Re: New story.

#8 Post by Seigetsu »

I think this can be quite interesting, depending on how you decide to take it. I, for one, am looking forward to reading a story with a strong (physically) female protagonist, because we don't get enough of that in popular media. Granted, such violent personalities are rare in real life, male or female, but I think it would be interesting to investigate their mindsets and how they came to be who they are.

What you have in your first post seem pretty vague though. I can understand that you are holding back on the details so as to not spoil the plot, but my first impression is that there are just loads of violence with little explanation as to why they occur. Your later explanation seems to give more depth to the plot. I think it would be worth it to put more emphasis on the character development in the final game, so it would be easier for the reader to relate to the story.

I agree with some of the other posts on here: you don't need to care too much about what we think. We get what we get. Just write the story you want to tell. Good luck. I'm looking forward to seeing more updates as you work on this game.

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