Scrapped.

[HoneyDust]

...

[Manga]

So, spider queens. They humanoid, or are we going to get to be freaky spiders at long last?

Resolution: 800 x 600

I might suggest changing the resolution to a widescreen one, but eh.

[HoneyDust]

So, spider queens. They humanoid, or are we going to get to be freaky spiders at long last?

Resolution: 800 x 600

I might suggest changing the resolution to a widescreen one, but eh.

I am planning for a bit of both, actually. The spider queen generally takes on a more humanoid appearance, though she is going to have a full on arachnid form as well. For the most part, however, the Ariadne are the descendents of spiders in this story.

I had to have the resolution as 800 x 600 because I don't yet have a wide screen monitor, just an old Magnavox one.

[Haze]

First of all, I think you should go into a little more detail on the races, setting, etc. With what you have, though, I'll try to answer your questions.

What do you think of the plot?

I think it sounds fine. I mean, you don't get a story about a girl living with spider-creatures every day. I like the title drop, too. "Will the truth only make her become lost, like the dead man's theory she follows?" Sounds pretty interesting.

What were your first impressions of the characters listed so far?

First, I'd like to say you did a nice job describing your characters. You didn't put too much, and you summed up their personalities nicely in just 3-4 sentences.
The characters themselves seem ok, too. They seem to have just the right personalities for a comedy. I mean, you've got your quiet girl, the warrior lady, the rogue, and your spirit guy. I can just picture Tativ and Keir arguing about something while Aideen and Ezra are looking at each other and shrugging, as if to say "who knows why they're arguing this time?"

Yes, this story seems to strike me as a serious story with little bits of comedy here and there. Is it that kind of story?

Ok, now I just have one question for you:
Why is the spider queen able to go with Aideen on a journey? Doesn't the queen have to stay and rule her kingdom?(from the way you listed her among the main characters, it seemed to me like she's going with Aideen...sorry if that isn't the case!)

Good luck in making this game!

[Manga]

I had to have the resolution as 800 x 600 because I don't yet have a wide screen monitor, just an old Magnavox one.

You poor, poor soul.

I like the title drop, too. "Will the truth only make her become lost, like the dead man's theory she follows?"

Everyone loves title drops!

[raegun]

I hope for some art examples for this! It sounds really vast in subject and wonderful. I especially am drawn to Ezra's character-- the "cheshire cat" type, if you will. Yeah... So here's to being motivated to work hard!

[merdeamour]

She is not intimated easily, nor does she back down from a challenge. She enjoys the thrill of drawing in her enemies until the time is right to strike. She is gentle with Aideen but still a fierce force to be faced.

Hmm, do you mean 'intimated' as in not easy to make friends with? The context you put it in (...nor does she back down from a challenge) makes me think it was supposed to be 'intimidated'. Sorry, grammar Nazi xD

Okay, as for the answers below, they're just my opinion, and mine only...

o What do you think of the plot?

The plot you posted is just a few lines, so I can't judge it yet (it sounds like more of a trailer than a plot). Truth be told, it sounds a little vague to me, what with the 'mysterious arrival', 'truth of the path she's all but forgotten', and 'dead man's theory which she follows'. The premise sounds interesting, but I have to say that the things you're hinting at don't really make me eager about this KN... I mean, when I buy a book from a store, I first look at the back, where the description is. I'd like the description to tell me what the book is about, not just an idea of what's in the book.

o What were your first impressions of the characters listed so far?

Well, they do seem interesting. Spider people are certainly a fresh idea (for me, at least). Since Keir and Ezra's existence aren't even mentioned in the plot, I can't even form my opinion on them, how they'll appear in the KN. [/quote]

[Manga]

She is not intimated easily, nor does she back down from a challenge. She enjoys the thrill of drawing in her enemies until the time is right to strike. She is gentle with Aideen but still a fierce force to be faced.

Hmm, do you mean 'intimated' as in not easy to make friends with? The context you put it in (...nor does she back down from a challenge) makes me think it was supposed to be 'intimated'. Sorry, grammar Nazi xD

You may be a grammar Nazi, but I am, as the wise scholars say, a double grammar Nazi. You are both, my friends -- it would seem -- looking for the word...

"Intimidated".

[HoneyDust]

First of all, I think you should go into a little more detail on the races, setting, etc. With what you have, though, I'll try to answer your questions.

What do you think of the plot?

I think it sounds fine. I mean, you don't get a story about a girl living with spider-creatures every day. I like the title drop, too. "Will the truth only make her become lost, like the dead man's theory she follows?" Sounds pretty interesting.

What were your first impressions of the characters listed so far?

First, I'd like to say you did a nice job describing your characters. You didn't put too much, and you summed up their personalities nicely in just 3-4 sentences.
The characters themselves seem ok, too. They seem to have just the right personalities for a comedy. I mean, you've got your quiet girl, the warrior lady, the rogue, and your spirit guy. I can just picture Tativ and Keir arguing about something while Aideen and Ezra are looking at each other and shrugging, as if to say "who knows why they're arguing this time?"

Yes, this story seems to strike me as a serious story with little bits of comedy here and there. Is it that kind of story?

Ok, now I just have one question for you:
Why is the spider queen able to go with Aideen on a journey? Doesn't the queen have to stay and rule her kingdom?(from the way you listed her among the main characters, it seemed to me like she's going with Aideen...sorry if that isn't the case!)

Good luck in making this game!

I'll start off with noting the good suggestions. I'll be sure to add in more details into my first post to better explain both the world and the characters, among other things. Thank you for pointing that out. I was mainly just jotting down the general information to share and I'll be adding to it today. I was planning for the story to be a serious one with some humor in it, so I'm happy it made that impression.

As for the question, the spider queen will not actually be traveling with Aideen on the journey. I do have her as a main character, however, because she is going to play a major role in the development of the plot. She's working as at once an ally and an enemy in the game's storyline. Actions the queen takes will effect the group in their travels.

[HoneyDust]

I hope for some art examples for this! It sounds really vast in subject and wonderful. I especially am drawn to Ezra's character-- the "cheshire cat" type, if you will. Yeah... So here's to being motivated to work hard!

I am working on the character concepts right now, so I'll share the sketches when their done. (=

[HoneyDust]

She is not intimated easily, nor does she back down from a challenge. She enjoys the thrill of drawing in her enemies until the time is right to strike. She is gentle with Aideen but still a fierce force to be faced.

Hmm, do you mean 'intimated' as in not easy to make friends with? The context you put it in (...nor does she back down from a challenge) makes me think it was supposed to be 'intimated'. Sorry, grammar Nazi xD

Okay, as for the answers below, they're just my opinion, and mine only...

o What do you think of the plot?

The plot you posted is just a few lines, so I can't judge it yet (it sounds like more of a trailer than a plot). Truth be told, it sounds a little vague to me, what with the 'mysterious arrival', 'truth of the path she's all but forgotten', and 'dead man's theory which she follows'. The premise sounds interesting, but I have to say that the things you're hinting at don't really make me eager about this KN... I mean, when I buy a book from a store, I first look at the back, where the description is. I'd like the description to tell me what the book is about, not just an idea of what's in the book.

o What were your first impressions of the characters listed so far?

Well, they do seem interesting. Spider people are certainly a fresh idea (for me, at least). Since Keir and Ezra's existence aren't even mentioned in the plot, I can't even form my opinion on them, how they'll appear in the KN.

[/quote]


Thank you for pointing out that word. I actually meant intimidated, but I had messed up the spelling of it. That's fair about the description. It was just a general 'teaser'. I have more details about the plot and other things that I'll be adding to the first post in a little bit. I'm glad you pointed that out about the characters too.


Thank you, folks. Your posts were helpful in that I realize I haven't put enough information out for everything to really tie together or for you guys to be able to get interested in. Also, I need to be more careful of what I do put as far as how it comes across.

[Manga]

Thank you for pointing out that word. I actually meant intimidated, but I had messed up the spelling of it.

*thrusts hand in air repeatedly as act of celebration*

[merdeamour]

She is not intimated easily, nor does she back down from a challenge. She enjoys the thrill of drawing in her enemies until the time is right to strike. She is gentle with Aideen but still a fierce force to be faced.

Hmm, do you mean 'intimated' as in not easy to make friends with? The context you put it in (...nor does she back down from a challenge) makes me think it was supposed to be 'intimated'. Sorry, grammar Nazi xD

You may be a grammar Nazi, but I am, as the wise scholars say, a double grammar Nazi. You are both, my friends -- it would seem -- looking for the word...

"Intimidated".

Oh, haha! Sorry. Fixed it.

[azureXtwilight]

This game looks very interesting, I can't wait to see the art!

[Manga]

Looking forward to seeing any art from this. Do you have a particular style in mind? Animesque, cartoonish, dark and moody, bright and shiny and happy... you know, I don't think I've ever seen a visual novel based on cubism. Alas.

Oh, haha! Sorry. Fixed it.

Ah, correcting a typo and then making the exact same mistake.

I'd taunt you, but I do it every other day myself.