Which concept sounds better?

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BreakingMachines
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Which concept sounds better?

#1 Post by BreakingMachines » Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:24 pm

I have two projects I have written of plotted out a big chunk of. I'm wondering what BL projects sounds more interesting to the public.

Breaking Machines or Contrivance Project-

Theme: Sci-Fi/BL
In the year 20xx, Saisei corp creates the Chronochum the android companion, that functions as any role given to it. A mere 4 decades later later, artificial intelligence has so greatly advanced, that Saisei corp can proudly state that “No one can tell the difference between a human and a robot.” A mere couple of years later the Chronochums, reach such popularity that every household owns one, and are used as replacement guardians for orphans.

Tyler Vadrick is a college student and self-proclaimed luddite who absolutely hates Chronochum. Tyler has his whole life completely turned upside down when he finds a Chronochum package on his doorstep, one happy morning.
Soon after he joins an anti-machine group formed by user OmegaX on the Deldum forums a underground luddite forum on the internet. Tyler decides to use the Chronochums against each other, by using his personal Chronochum to destroy other Chronochums- and once and for all destroy the android threat.

VN Concept: Interact with your fellow Deldum buddies, and go through the city of Portsglen to destroy all Chronochums. Maybe even finding romance with a ragtag team of luddites.

Characters:
Tyler Vadrick “breakingMachines”: The main character, A big paranoid nerd, who hypocritically hates technology, but uses technology to fight against the creation of more technology. He is the strategy of the team, and his fixation with destroying the Chronochums is so strong, he starts to blur the line of morality.
Vanessa Wera “Wrathlix”- A crass girl whose hate for Chronochums sparked from her sister’s unusual planned matrimonial ceremony with a Chronochum.
Travis Hawkins “OmegaX”- The so called leader of the group, he has a strong hate and obsession towards the Chronochums, and provides the firearms for the group.
Ken Weasley “Caracter”- A member of Deldum forums, who works at Saisei Inc as the repair/maintenance/help desk of the Chronochums division in Portsglen. He gives inside information to the group on shipments and weaknesses of the machines.
Jason Opher Wess “The Machine”- The Chronochum found in the crate, Tyler finds him completely obnoxious. Jason cares about the well -being of Tyler, considering his owner ignores his own health and mental state. Jason eventually develops a one sided crush on Tyler. Jason is the one to kill other machines, he is usually the one to talk some sense into Tyler, and try to convince him when he crosses the line. Too bad Tyler is such an stubborn ass.
Officer Alicia Soto- The officer sent to handle the complaints of residents, when a luddite group rebels and starts destroying Chronochums. After all under the Constitution it’s the government’s job to protect private property. A normal job goes astray, when she finds out that OmegaX’s group isn’t giving up that easily.

(Yes, my username was originally the handle for a character in this project, I ended up using the same handle because I have a lot of love for this story.)


Silver Lining
Theme: Superheroes/BL
In 20XX, humans have evolved to a point, that everyone is born with special abilities.
In 20xx various groups all over the world have created groups of superheroes to deal with potential threats posed by individuals abusing their abilities.
In 20xx Olimpos created the underground superhero group The Alphateers to protect Portsglen.
A year later Olimpos Studios created their own superhero competition show Powered! to afford the expenses of said superhero team.


Jin Hyeon, a Korean-American, and comic nerd boy-wonder dreams of being an actual life hero. Gifted with abilities of technomancery or technology transformation, Jin uses household machines and transforms them into his mech suit, and his family’s car into giant fighting robot Sagittarian. Jin takes to the street and tries his hands at being a superhero, by defeating local baddies. When suddenly a villain comes out of nowhere by the name of Jack Off, who goes around viciously murdering people, and blowing buildings up, and being seemly obsessed with his superhero persona. Catching the attention of Olimpos,
Silver Lining is recruited by the Alphateers, and Jin’s expectations are completely changed when he meets the very same superheroes he’s been fanboying about. Of course Jin has to deal with his own super -nemesis, Cruor, a rising supervillian who seems fixated on his demise.

VN concept: Become a superhero, interact with your fellow superheroes, defeat Cruor , and maybe find some romance along the way.

Characters:
Jin Hyeon “Silver Lining”: An aspiring superhero, he has a big heart, a lack of prowess on his abilities, and trusts people way to easily. He can manipulate technology and transform to other forms. He’s a funny guy, and likes messing with people when he’s not busy saving the city or reading comics. He also has a strange fanboy obsession with Magical Girl Alicia.
Ian Love “Cupid or arrowsupyourass” : The best friend of Jin, Jin’s comic bro, and moral support. He aims to be a superhero. But his only problem is that his superpower is absolutely useless. He can manipulate pheromones to make people attracted to him. Big whoop. He’s a crass sarcastic guy, who’s good with computers, and happens to be the object of Jin’s oblivious affections, too bad Ian’s trust issues has made him not interested in a relationship with anyone.
Connor Janus “Second Stop” - Jin’s official love interest. Connor is a hipster who works at the Armistice, a hipster CD store. He can manipulate time, and pause and travel a few seconds into the future. He can heal because of his abilities. He’s really shy, loves films and music noone’s heard about, and overprotective about Jin.
Jack Off- A minor villain who is obsessed with Hyeon twins, and is just trying to get their career going by acting as the ultimate villain.
Cruor- Jin’s main nemesis, he’s never been interested in any other superhero groups, nor has he even committed crimes until Silver Lining’s debut. He seems adamant to kill Jin, but no one is even sure why.
Emi Hyeon “Astral Phase”- Jin’s twin sister, a girl who has the abilities of the void and can summon things from an alternate realm. She also can create portals in this realm . She love fantasy, and dark anime.
Mark Cashlin” Hyperion Hand”- Winner of Powerd!, and an popular actor. Mark Cashlin is Olimpos star hero. He has the abilities to strengthen the bones in his hands, and also has super strength. For a while he was Jin’s favorite hero. That is before the two actually met and Jin realized that Mark was a big jerk.
Nerissa Shields “Jade Nuke”- She has the abilities to make explosions at will, and a tight belt on fighting styles. Nerissa is the definition of a primadonna. She knows she’s great at what she does, and she knows it makes a lot of money. She’s known to flaunt her abilities, put down others, and believes she’s entitled to the world.
Shawn Blair Slater “Insidere” - An ex minor villain, whose parents forced him to join the family business and become a villain. Shawn just wanted to go to college and be a doctor, Jin eventually convinces him to join the Alphateers. He has the abilities manifest a person’s fears, and can do a few other telepathic abilities, like mind blasts.

Please tell me why you're interested in one concept over the other, and if you want to offer any advice or feedback, please do!
Last edited by BreakingMachines on Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#2 Post by lemonscent » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:21 pm

Omg lol. "Jack Off."

I prefer "breaking machines", but that's mainly just because I dislike the concept of superheroes with a passion. Yet somehow I don't mind magical girls etc. nearly as much

TBH I'd go with the project you want to work on first, because that's the project you'll have more fun with. Or go with the one you don't want to work on first and use it as practice for the one you do want to work on...? iunno.
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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#3 Post by megatuga » Mon Jul 01, 2013 6:02 pm

Let me first say this... the superhero concept... uh yeah. In my honest opinion, don't go with it. Other people may like it though, but for me... nah.

Now "Breaking Machines"... that is something interesting. IT seems that you have a good set of characters, and a great personality for each of them, as well as their motivations. The only thing that bugs me is why Tyler and everybody in the organization they are in think of the Chronochums as a threat. It doesn't seem explicit in the way you wrote it. Then again it might be the mystery of the plot, but I find it hard to share compassion for Tyler's goal.

I always loved the concepts involving the relationship between human and artificial, that's why I was surprised at your story, and wanting to know more. There is always that thin line that separates machine and human, no matter how alike they are physically: the mentality and morality on the human brain to accept their existence....

I elaborated a bit too much no? Anyway, this is just my personal opinion, you should really do what you think you should. Do not take so few opinions for your decision. Wait for a bit more of commentaries before deciding.

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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#4 Post by LVUER » Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:18 pm

Just one thing in my mind is that you wrote "year 20xx,..." and then "a mere millennium later...". That means the story setting is at least at year 30xx! I wonder what kind of technology we will have at that time? Surely human already familiar with nanotechnology, FTL travel, planet terraforming and space colonization, etc. May be we already ditch this flesh and move on to something more durable like android body or at least robotic enhancement.
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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#5 Post by gekiganwing » Tue Jul 02, 2013 12:22 am

I'd like to see what you could do with Silver Lining. There was a work-in-progress called The Elect on this forum a while back, but since then, I have not noticed any attempts to create an action or hero centered VN. Anyway, two questions to consider:

1. If literally every human has greater-than-normal abilities, then what is society like?
2. What makes superheroes different in your world? How do they interact with ordinary people?

The premise seems a bit similar to Tiger & Bunny, which in turn seems like what would happen if the X-Men were recruited to become celebrities. Think about what sets your story apart.

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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#6 Post by Fairy Godfeather » Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:46 am

Superheroes!

WHEEEEE!!!!

I vote for superheroes.

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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#7 Post by zankizuna » Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:05 am

Breaking Machines sounds cool. Chronochums. The term sounds cute, do they have anything to do with time? coz I know Chrono/krono means time. right?

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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#8 Post by BreakingMachines » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:13 am

zankizuna wrote:Breaking Machines sounds cool. Chronochums. The term sounds cute, do they have anything to do with time? coz I know Chrono/krono means time. right?
Thanks for replying. In this case I was playing with the term, chronium, and rearranging and adding letters. Because honestly ChroniChum or Chronchum didn't sound the way I wanted.
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Re: Which concept sounds better?

#9 Post by BreakingMachines » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:39 am

gekiganwing wrote:I'd like to see what you could do with Silver Lining. There was a work-in-progress called The Elect on this forum a while back, but since then, I have not noticed any attempts to create an action or hero centered VN. Anyway, two questions to consider:

1. If literally every human has greater-than-normal abilities, then what is society like?
2. What makes superheroes different in your world? How do they interact with ordinary people?

The premise seems a bit similar to Tiger & Bunny, which in turn seems like what would happen if the X-Men were recruited to become celebrities. Think about what sets your story apart.
Thanks for pointing this out, this was inspired from a lot superhero media, (Choice of the Hero, Tiger & Bunny, Champions Online, Marvel, Young Protectors) and I know sometimes inspiration gets blurred with source, but in the actual story it diverges from that concept, because it focuses on Jin.

Jin is a big fanboy, he loves superheroes, he's watched these superhero shows and comics and played videogames. He gets the opportunity to meet one and he flips out. But everyone in this story didn't just recruited because of a competition, and not everyone is sponsored. Some were noticed for their deeds on the news or word of mouth. Others like Insidere were recommended by others. Jin falls under this, just like comic heroes, people noticed him kicking ass and saving crime. I mean how could you not, this kid literally is walking around in a giant mecha.

My twist with Cruor is my trump card, but it's a point to consider with the history and world building. It be a fun concept to think about. I'll continue to develop this world, before I dive in. But I know my setting, characters, and main plot lines.
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