Osiris: Ordinance of the Thorns [GxB-Fantasy-Adventure-Love]

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Hapuki
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Osiris: Ordinance of the Thorns [GxB-Fantasy-Adventure-Love]

#1 Post by Hapuki »

First of all, this is my first time posting anything related to projects I'm working on- so I apologize for any rookie mistakes I make! It actually took me a while to muster up the courage to finally share my ideas!

Genres: Fantasy, romance, adventure

12/28/13 EDIT:: I've updated synopsis/story/added more characters to this post

Synopsis
The game takes place in a fantasy world called Osiris where three races exist, humans,elves, and yori. Everyone has the ability to use magic, females are usually more powerful than males in this aspect. The game will follow the story of the dutiful MC who is currently a Rose Knight under the Aliero Kingdom’s prince, however will her loyalties stay that way?

I used the same base head to start from just to get their designs down, in the final game, they will be redrawn. all art shown is by me
Image

Characters (They don't have actual names yet so I'm calling them by their titles)
MC: Top notch Rose Knight serving under the Aliero Kingdom's Prince.
Aliero Prince: A kind and hardworking prince that hopes to prove himself as a capable King. Knows healing magic.
Karis Prince: A sly and foul-mouthed prince with sinister intentions. Capable of some powerful attack magic.
Thorn Knight: A quiet and intimidating figure, takes things seriously and obediently obeys the Karis Prince.
Rose Knight: He is extremely strong and protective of you.
Investigator: A friendly but distant man that's one of several on the task of finding the missing Queen of Aliero.
Counselor's Son: A young, bright, but uninvolved counsel man. He can't be bothered by others' problems and is dense to others' emotions.

The tale of Osiris (Constantly getting reworked)
Legend of the Great Division: At one time long ago all races, the humans, the elves and even the Yori all lived together peacefully and under one rule. They all lived under the Zeldrin family, the family was comprised of only humans but they were very powerful in regards to magic and had mastered all three kinds of magic. For a while all was well, and as a celebration of unity three rings were crafted. Each ring’s look was customized in honor of each race it would go to, however the rings were also only customized to be worn by a slender handed female. (This is because the rings were originally going to be crafted for the male leaders of each race but the husbands found it fitting to give to their wives…) However no soon after the celebration of unity did races begin to fight over little things, Yori people especially were discriminated against. Civil unrest turned fast into a civil war, eventually the people turned on the ruling family and overthrew them. It is believed that the entire Zeldrin family was completely wiped out. And since then the land had been divided with the Yori race nearly extinct.

Data
-At the moment there will be up to 7 guys you will be able to romance!
-I'm still a noob at using Ren'Py so this will take a very long time to have come into fruition (if any programmers might be interested in helping or giving advice would be great when I get down to tackling the programming part)
-I'm planning on making this a pretty lengthy game, so there will be a lot of CGs!

Feedback Questions:
1. Is there anything appealing to you about the game? Anything you're not too fond of?
2. What dateable seems the most interesting to you at this point?
3. Comments/Questions/Suggestions
cg idears 2.png
Attachments
yori boys.png
thorn knight line up Ver4.png
Last edited by Hapuki on Thu Mar 20, 2014 11:08 pm, edited 21 times in total.
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#2 Post by Kyra10 »

This looks like it's going to be an awesome VN!
I love the plot and the art! I'm interested in all of the guys so far~.
If you're planning on adding more guys, I can't wait to see them. Haha~
I'm so going to play this when it's done. :wink:

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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#3 Post by Googaboga »

Hi :] I think your idea sounds like a lot of fun and the designs look awesome.

I do think the synopsis could be a little clearer though if you mention the fact that the other knight the MC works with is a fellow Rose Knight. Because a "Rose Knight" sounds like it is different from a regular "knight". So that makes it is a little jarring when you say the prince is going on a quest with the MC and the Rose Knight. Since before it seemed like the MC was the only Rose Knight and the "the" also makes it sound like the Rose Knight is the only Rose Knight and not just a Rose Knight out of multiple Rose Knights. That's just my opinion though and once they have names I'm sure it will flow better ':).
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#4 Post by Hapuki »

@ Kyra10
Thanks so much aha ;///v///; It's encouraging reading what you typed!

@Googaboga
Thank you for reading my topic and for the feedback! I really value and agree with it :,D I'll try to edit the synopsis so it'll sound clearer, thanks again!
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#5 Post by Googaboga »

No problem. I wish you the best of luck with your project. I look forward to playing it when you finish ^v^.
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#6 Post by silverpikachu99 »

I call dibs on the Thorn knight and the rose knight (^з^)-☆ so cute!! Can't wait for more progress :)
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#7 Post by Hapuki »

@Googaboga

Thank you once again for the advice, and I hope it will meet expectations! ^///^

@Silverpikachu99

Haha to be honest the Thorn Knight character is my favorite to draw e//v//e Thank you so much for you comment!
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#8 Post by AngelicReckoning »

I really like the opening of it and I'm interested to see what happens now that she is a knight to both princes! The designs are lovely so far, and I am looking forward to seeing more progress. The guys are all gorgeous and the girl is cute too. Good luck with your project!
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#9 Post by Val3rie »

Adventure romance rocks! The summary overall sounds awesome and feels like it's going to be a great game. From what I can tell, you have great art. This project looks wonderful! Good luck with this ^ ^
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#10 Post by Rhuby »

Wow, allow me to say that your art is gorgeous :)

I can't choose between all the guys...

I'll most definitely keep an eye on this and I wish you the best of luck!

。◕‿◕。

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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#11 Post by Hapuki »

@ AngelicReckoning

Thank you so much, I'm really excited to hear you excited for it! :,D I'm currently working heavily on the story at the moment so to be honest most of what I had put here for the story has been completely reworked! ;o; I hope you might enjoy the story regardless of the beginning changing a bit! :)

@ Val3rie

Hehe this will be the first 'Adventure' type game I'll be trying to work on! QvQ And I hope not to let you done with the project!

@ Rhuby

Th-thank you >/////< And haha I'm actually glad you can't since it must mean they're all (hopefully) equally desirable! :D I hope the project will meet your expectations!
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#12 Post by Hapuki »

three new dateables added!
cb and beryl.png
EDIT: Took out the third guy that was in this post
Last edited by Hapuki on Sun Dec 29, 2013 4:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Thorn Knight [GxB, fantasy, romance, VN]

#13 Post by Kyra10 »

Yay for three new dateables! <3
Hehe, I'm so going after all of the guys~

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Re: Osiris: Ordinance of the Thorns [GxB, Fantasy, Romance]

#14 Post by Ran08 »

I love the new name. *wink*wink*

Oh, and there are so many hot obtainables! I just love the designs. *sighs dreamily* And for the heck of it, when this game is released, I'm going after the Thorn Knight first. Hahaha. How ironic, don't you think? :)

Goodluck on this project! ^^

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Re: Osiris: Ordinance of the Thorns [GxB, Fantasy, Romance]

#15 Post by Hazel-Bun »

TEAM YORI *shot* Ahmh. Loving the new title and description ^^ Of you need any help always feel free to ask!
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