Remember Me (otome, school life, VN)

[AiharaKaori]

Hi guys! So, this is my first visual novel... It is a free game... I'm still working on it, so... Please, be honest with me, okay?

Plot:

Miki suffers a car accident, and lost her memory. She was completely rude, but after the accident, she become very sweet and gentle with everyone. So their parents resolve move to another city. In the new town Miki meet Takashi, a guy that seems to know more of her past that she imagine.

Characters

I will use some free sprites because i don´t now how to drawn in photoshop...

Miki
Miki is very sweet and nice to everyone, so the most of people like of her. She doesn't now anything about her past, but the people use to say that she used to be very rude.

Ayu
Ayu is a very sweet girl. She is a dreamer, and a very good friend. Her dream is become a manga-ka.

Takashi
He is quiet and gentle, but acts a little strange with Miki. Maybe he knows something of her past!

[Green Glasses Girl]

Just a head's up- you might want to think about changing the title. There was a videogame released earlier this year with the same name as well as a visual novel with a similar title (and car accident related amnesia).

As for the amnesia plot...what in particular is unique to it in terms of the story? There are a lot of VNs on here with amnesiac protagonists. I'm okay with that, as those stories address "If our Protagonist isn't able to recover their memories, then (conflict) occurs!" or "Our protagonist can't remember their past and must restore those memories in order to reach (this resolution)!" I guess I'm kind of confused where the conflict or resolution lies here? If Miki was mean before and is now nice, isn't that a positive? And if she lost her memories, wouldn't her family be focused on staying in the same town in better hopes of recovering those memories? Moving seems odd - she's essentially moving away from people, places, and things that may trigger/return those memories to her.

It might be interesting for Miki to meet people who vocally expressed their dislike for her when she was mean and how they now react to the "nice" Miki. Or even Miki slowly discovering she did bad/rude/cruel things in her past and dealing with internal conflict now that she's sweet.

EDIT: Might this go in the Ideas forum? I'm not sure there is enough info here for the WIP section.

[sake-bento]

I'll be moving this to the Ideas section for now, but once you've got more materials up like some finished sprites or screencaps, just let me know and I can move it back for you.

[rabcor]

as well as a visual novel with a similar title (and car accident related amnesia).

Oh how loud i laughed made my day!

But as she also said, the story doesn't really sound unique, at least not this high concept. But maybe it doesn't have to be, as long as you enjoy writing it

Still, does it always have to be a car accident? couldn't she just have failed miserably and fallen down a set of stairs (comedy!)

[Azariah]

Well yeah, the plot is already used for a quite famous VN so I suggest you consider revising the story a bit. And I do hope to see more soon about the VN even if it's just a promo art.