#81
Post
by themocaw » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:40 pm
Hmmmm. . . perhaps something like. . .
*****
*Ring Ring*
Now who could that be?
*Open Door*
Jenny "Ohayo!"
Player "Ummmm. . . Columbus?"
J "What?"
P "Are we playing the states and capitals game? Columbus is the capital of Ohio, right?"
J "No, silly, ohayo, as in Japanese for 'good morning!'"
P "Oh. Is this one of those anime things?"
J "Yup!"
P "Oh. . . I never understand what you see in that stuff, it's all just big eyes and bouncing boobs."
J "Don't be mean, ___-kun."
P "Anyway, what are you doing here at six in the morning?"
J "Well, I just wanted to thank you for helping me with the aliens last night. . ."
P "It was nothing. Don't mention it."
J "It wasn't nothing!! You saved my precious collection! You're a panty hero! The titan of thongs! The bravo of bikinis! The crusader of crotchless. . ."
P "I get it, I get it! (don't yell things like that out loud where the neighbors can hear. . .)"
J "I just can't let a debt like that go unpaid! And so, I've decided. . ."
(Event Pic of Jenny whipping off her dress to reveal her maid outfit on underneath)
J ". . . I, Jenny, shall now clean your house for you in my best moe moe meido-tan manner!"
(Return to scene-and-character view of Jenny in her maid outfit)
P ". . ."
P "What the hell are you wearing?"
J "You like it? It's the costume I used for last year's Anime Ball. . . and LOOK!"
(Jenny flips up her skirt)
J "TADAAAH!!!!! Genuine lace garters, with matching panties! Handmade french lace, nothing but the finest chinese silks, made by the blind monks of the Ecchi DuPansu monestary in rural France! The very same kind that Marie Antoinette wore on her way to the guillotine! Each is hand-crafted to the finest specifications, and personally signed by the abbot of the monestary himself!"
P ". . ."
J "I went on a three month journey in France just to find the monestary! I had to fight the wombat warlords of Lourdes to get there! I had to pass the three trials of the seven-eyed yak herder of Normandie to earn enough mandrake roots to pay for them, but it was worth it! The silk is so smooth it feels like butter. . . go on, touch it!"
P "Excuse me!?"
J "Touch it! It's really soft!"
"Yeah! Touch it!"
"Wooohoo!!!"
A chill runs up my spine.
(Event Pic: the entire neighborhood is staring at Jenny and the Player. The neighbors include:
1. A pair of drunken frat boys cheering the Player on.
2. An old man in his bathrobe getting his newspaper. His pipe is falling out of his mouth and he is O.O.
3. A little boy pointing and laughing while his mommy tries to cover his eyes.)
"Wooohooo!!! You go, dude!"
"Mommy, look, you can see her undies!"
"Don't look at them, honey, don't make eye contact, just walk away slowly. . ."
P "GYAH!"
I grab Jenny by the wrist and drag her inside.
*****
After that, we could have the conversation about union wages and such. . . hmmm. Maybe I'm painting with too broad strokes here.