Lemma Soft Forums

CONCEPT:
A first Ren'Ai game, moderate complexity. Male protagonist, single female love interest, various minor characters.

*****
SYNOPSIS:
"Four years ago, when my friends and I made that pact to find girlfriends before we graduated high school, it seemed easy enough. I mean, four years. Surely I'd find someone to love before then, right?

"Right. . . well. They say last one's a rotten egg, so I guess that's me. The problem is, somewhere along the line, I became one of those guys that's always a friend, never a lover. I don't know what my problem is. Am I too nice, too shy? I know I'm not ugly. . . maybe I'm just fated never to find true love.

"Awww, who am I kidding. I'm just a wimp. A spineless, worthless, good for nothing, unmanly coward. You want to know how unmanly I am? Yesterday, some guys were picking on me, and I got rescued by a girl. A freakin' girl. True, it was Kit McCafferty, you know, that short, red-headed punk girl who wears the boy's uniform, always carrying that lead pipe around? But still, I got rescued by a girl.

"Ask her out? Are you crazy? You've heard the rumors, haven't you, about how she once smashed a teacher's car window in with a rock? How she got kicked out of her old school for breaking the legs of the star quarterback? How she kicked out a guy's teeth who asked her to the spring formal. . . she'll KILL me!

". . . oh heck, beggars can't be choosers. . .

*****
DESIGN
My artist is in charge of this, but the basic design element I asked for is kemonomimi. Everyone should have animal ears. Just because I like them.

*****
RATING
I'm going for a Da Capo/Kanon approach: the main version will probably be H, but the basic storyline should hold up well enough that the H scenes can be cut out and the clean version is still interesting enough to play.

*****
MAIN CHARACTER

Katarina "Kit" McCafferty
- Appearance: Short (about 5'2", if that), short red hair, yellow eyes, fox-like ears, fang.

- Personality: Kit is the focus of the story, and her personality needs to be most developed to carry the story along. Just as the hero is wussy and unmanly, Kit is so unfeminine that at first, the Player mistakes her for a boy. Constantly using rough language, dressing in the boy's uniform because she hates to wear skirts, smokes cigarettes and stays withdrawn from other people.

The biggest problem, for me, is that every tsundere since Evangelion has had to live in the shadow of Asuka, and I don't want Kit to fall in that trap. If you think of the typical Tsundere as 75% Tsun, 25% Dere, Kit's ratio must be more like 99% to 1%. Even when she is showing her Dere side, I don't want her to become a total crying wreck like I see some tsundere become: even when her softer side is being shown, she keeps up her tough front. Even when acknowledging that she's not as strong as she appears, she keeps a stiff upper lip. Heck, even in a scenario where she winds up getting in touch with her more feminine side, she should still have that edge to her (more on that later).

*****
SIDE CHARACTERS
Bullies
Friends
Romantic Rival
Anyone else who needs to appear throughout the course of the story.

*****
STRUCTURE

I'm planning on using a single storyline with branching conversation trees. Conversation and choices will affect four different variables.

1. Love: The basic variable, determines the closeness of her feelings for you. Can only be changed through the direct interaction scenes with Kit. Affects whether you get one of the "Love" endings or the "Let's Be Friends" ending. If it ever craps out below 0, the game ends at the end of the scene (BAD END)

2. Wimp: A variable, minimum 0, raises and lowers based on how you act. The wimpier you act, the higher your Wimp rating. If it gets too high, you wimp out. Most choices that raise your Wimp lower your Jerk rating, although being passive-aggressive is a notable exception.

3. Jerk: A variable, minimum 0, raises and lowers based on how you act. If you act too aggressive, Kit gets pissed off at you and decides to beat the crap out of you. Must choices that raise Jerk lower Wimp, although being passive aggressive is a notable exception.

4. Girly: A variable, base 0, can be positive or negative, changes based on your interactions with Kit. Basically, it measures whether you see her in a feminine light, past her tough exterior. Keep in mind that pushing her too hard one way or another can raise your Jerk rating.

*****
ENDINGS

Story remains linear through most of the game, except at the end, where the four variables mentioned above affect what your final ending is.

*****
SCRIPTING:
01 - DONE
02 - DONE
03 - DONE
04 - Working
05 - Working
06 - Working
07 - Working
08 - DONE
09 - Working
10 - Working
11 - Working
12 - Working
13 - Working
14 - Working
15 - Working
16 - Working
17 - Working
18 - Working
19 - Working
Ending 1 - Working
Ending 2 - Working
Ending 3 - Working
Ending 4 - Working

ARTS
Character - Working
Background - Working
Events - Working

MUSIC/SFX - Working

As a fellow Asuka lover I look forward to this! Good luck!

Please don't leave out too much dere tho'! You don't want her to turn into a B-ko! Cute animal pantsu under the boy's uniform? WIN!! (^_-)
On the topic of Tsundere, you may find the following blog post of mine somewhat related:http://www.adorablerockets.com/?p=670

I don't know much about tsunderes and I'm usually not a fan, but for some reason, the 99/1 ratio sounds interesting. Animal ears is also good :3... I also like the variable system (not *just* love) though it's sad that it only determines the ending you get. But eh... that's already nice

themocaw wrote: 4. Girly: A variable, base 0, can be positive or negative, changes based on your interactions with Kit. Basically, it measures whether you see her in a feminine light, past her tough exterior. Keep in mind that pushing her too hard one way or another can raise your Jerk rating.

Durn. And here I thought it tracked how girly she thought you were, determining if you get the hero in medio costume whipped by tsundere "good ending". Eh... did I say that out loud? *^^*

rocket wrote:

themocaw wrote: 4. Girly: A variable, base 0, can be positive or negative, changes based on your interactions with Kit. Basically, it measures whether you see her in a feminine light, past her tough exterior. Keep in mind that pushing her too hard one way or another can raise your Jerk rating.

Durn. And here I thought it tracked how girly she thought you were, determining if you get the hero in medio costume whipped by tsundere "good ending". Eh... did I say that out loud? *^^*

That's your Wimp rating Although I like your idea and will have to bring it up with my artist and see if they'd be willing to try something like that.

Serious question though: I assume being passive aggressive raises both Wimp and Jerk at the same time?

rocket wrote:Serious question though: I assume being passive aggressive raises both Wimp and Jerk at the same time?

But of course, which is why I couldn't use a single variable for the two of them. Kit, by the way, has a particular hatred for passive-aggressive men, which will be revealed in her back story: basically, it's the fastest way to crap out in the game.

I'm not sure... What's it like to be passive-agressive?

Kemonomimi
MEEP

*ahem*
now that thats out of the way, I'm happy that somebody here *glares at crowd* acually decides to make a crossdressing-kemonomimi. I'm happy the you do this, we need more tuff girls. And we REALLY need more kemonomimi.

I like the fact that she is rowdy, and that the protagonist is girly. We need more Tuff girls and more girly-boys!
oh, and kemonomimi....

Oh, and why am i the heroine?

monele wrote:I'm not sure... What's it like to be passive-agressive?

http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead. ... raits.html

This sums it up in a nutshell.

All right... If I sum it up as "whiny jerk", am I close ? ^^;

monele wrote:All right... If I sum it up as "whiny jerk", am I close ? ^^;

That's it in a nutshell. Think Shinji Ikari, especially during the first part of End of Evangelion, where he basically acts catatonic to try and get out of piloting the Eva. As an example of how the game dialogue might go:

ROUGH DRAFT SPOILER WARNING

Kit "All right, the first step in becoming a manlier is your clothes. We gotta present a different self-image to everyone than 'useless wuss geek'. So, whaddya think, button-down shirt, or turtleneck?"

"What's the point? No one will care, I'm ugly."

(show kit annoyed with dissolve)

Kit "Ugly? Okay, so you're no movie star, but you're no circus freak either. We can still work with this."

"Don't bother, I'm just totally hopeless. Don't waste your time on me."

(show kit sarcastic with dissolve)

Kit "What the hell are you, my mother? If I want to waste my time, I'll waste it however the hell I like, now hurry up and choose something."

"There's no point. No one will ever love me."

Kit "Well, with that attitude, they won't! What the hell is your problem, anyway? You're a decent guy, you'll find a girlfriend eventually if you don't keep self-destructing yourself."

"Then why won't you go out with me?"

(show kit nitroglycerin with dissolve)

Kit "Excuse me, what the hell do you mean by that?"

"See, I knew it, you'll never love me. You're just like everyone else, you just hang out with me because you feel sorry for me and you'll leave once you're done."

Kit ". . . no shit. Of course I don't love you, you're a spineless, pathetic wimp, and as long as you keep acting like this, you'll never be anything but a spineless pathetic wimp. You wanna make a change, I'll help ya, but if you're not gonna bother, why should I?"

"Then don't bother any more. I'm never gonna find love ever. You'll never love me, and you'll never sleep with me."


(show kit annoyed with dissolve)

Kit "Is that what this is about? Of course I'm not gonna sleep with you, fuckhead. Why should I? We don't hardly know each other. And besides, I don't love you. You're not my boyfriend. And I'm certainly not gonna give up pity sex to some whiny brat who thinks acting like a baby is gonna get him laid."

"See? I'm useless and pathetic and I'm gonna die alone."

(show kit facepalming in utter disgust with dissolve)

Kit ". . . okay, buddy, listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once."

(scene boot to the balls with hpunch)

Kit "HAAAAAAAAIYA!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

(scene player laying on ground clutching crotch and kit standing above him like an angry bitch from hell)

Kit "I'VE MET A LOT OF GODDAMN USELESS WIMPS IN MY LIFETIME, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST PATHETIC, USELESS WASTE OF DNA IN EXISTENCE!"

Kit "And to THINK, I actually felt sorry for you! You want to know why you're alone and unloved? Because you're an unloveable loner who doesn't want to get off his ass and make the slightest goddamn effort to make a change!"

Kit "Well, in the words of my granddad, 'You can't polish a turd!' Have fun wallowing in misery, asshole. I'm through with you."

(scene black with fade)

"See? I always knew it was my destiny to die alone and unloved."

(BAD END)

*****

And, as an antidote to the bad taste that probably left in your mouth, an example of my rough draft script for a different, better scene.

(scene Kit laying on the grass staring up at the sky with a blade of grass in her mouth, chewing it thoughtfully.)

"Wow, that was scary. Do you think we'll get in trouble for that?"

Kit "Only if they call the cops on us, but they won't. If they do, they'll have to answer questions about what they were doing in the first place. We're fine."

"Right. . ."

Kit ". . ."

". . ."

(scene Kit turning to look at the player)

Kit "Hey."

"Yeah?"

Kit "Thanks for having my back."

"I didn't do much. I was kind of useless back there."

Kit "Of course you were. But you stepped up. That's more than what most guys'll do. It's like my granddad said, 'It's better to do something useful now than try to do something perfect too late.'"

"Your granddad sounds like quite a guy. I hope I'll get to meet him some day."

(scene Kit looking at the player, expression grim)

Kit ". . ."

Kit "That's gonna be hard. He died about a year ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

(scene Kit looking up at the sky again, wistful)

Kit "Actually, he kinda went out in a fucked-up way. He had a heart attack, or a stroke or something while waiting for a train. People thought he was just a drunk bum or something, stepped around him or over him, even while he was laying there on the middle of the train platform. . . by the time someone thought to check if he was all right, he was dead."

". . ."

Kit ". . ."

Kit ". . . Doctors said if they could have gotten to him sooner, they mighta done somethin'. They call it the golden hour: if they can get emergency medical care to someone within the first hour or so of a trauma, they can usually do something. But granddad. . . it was four hours before someone thought to check if he was okay."

Kit "No one stepped up. And he died."

". . . I'm sorry."

Kit "Why? You didn't do anything. You weren't one of the guys who didn't help him back then, unless you were living a hundred miles away back then."

(scene Kit looking slightly embarassed)

Kit "Besides. . . honestly? I think if you were there, you might have been the guy who stepped up and checked on him. Maybe if you were there, he would have lived."

"I don't know. I was kind of a wuss back then. . ."

Kit "Just shut up and try and accept a freakin' compliment for once. I'm saying you've gotten better. You're not such a loser any more. You're stronger than you used to be."

"Thanks, I guess."

Kit "You're welcome."

". . ."

Kit ". . ."

"I just want to ask you a question."

Kit "Yeah?"

"Is that why you hate wimpy guys so much? Because none of them helped your granddad when he was dying?"

(scene Kit's expression gets harder, and her eyes go cold)

Kit "No. But honestly? I'm not going to tell you that story. We're not close enough yet."

"Oh, all right."

(scene Kit's expression softens)

Kit ". . . maybe later."

"All right."

(scene Kit sits up)

Kit "It's getting late. I'm going home."

"I'll go with you."

(scene Kit looks annoyed)

Kit "What's the matter, you think I'm some little girl who needs a big, strong man to protect her? I'll be fine."

"Nah, I just thought you could use someone to watch your back. In case those guys start more trouble."

(scene Kit looks amused)

Kit "Sure, why not. Walk me home. If all else fails, I'll throw you to them and let them beat the hell out of you while I escape."

"At least I'll be useful."

Kit "Heh heh. . ."

"Did you just blush?"

(scene Kit looking shocked)

Kit "What!?"

"I saw it, you just blushed! How cute!"

(scene Kit glaring annoyedly)

Kit "No, I didn't. Shut up!"

"It's okay, everyone does it, actually, it's kinda cute."

Kit "IDIOT!"

(hpunch screen)

Her fist slams into my shoulder hard, leaving a painful bruise, and she gets up and walks away. I guess that means I'm making progress: before, she would have socked me in the jaw.

(scene black, wipe from right)

I walk her home without incident. Things are quiet, and we don't say anything to each other. I guess there's nothing that needs to be said, we already said it all back there on the hill.

(scene Kit outside her door, wipe from right)

Kit "We're here."

"We are."

Kit ". . ."

Kit "Hey."

"Yeah?"

Kit looks at me, and for a moment, her amber eyes are. . . if I didn't know better, I'd say they were pensive. Scared even. But the moment passes, and they become hard and strong once again.

Kit "Nothing. Good night, NAME. See ya tomorrow."

"Good night."

(scene black with wipe from right)

She walks into the house, then, and I head home myself. It's not until I'm lying in bed that I realize something.

This is the first time she called me by my first name.

Don't post everything okay? XD... But really, I'm liking Kit already ^_^. I hope this project goes through

monele wrote:Don't post everything okay? XD... But really, I'm liking Kit already ^_^. I hope this project goes through

Don't worry, I don't plan to I just wanted you guys to get a feel for the type of character I want to write.

UPDATE:
Currently scripting dialogue and story without art. Will plug in the art and scripts for that when art becomes available.

I'm REALLY liking the way Ren'Py works. The scripting is very clean and simple, and it feels very intuitive. I'm sure that'll get more complicated as the story does as well, but so far, I like what I see

In terms of progress, we're now done with the prologue, and the main character (Alex) is about to meet Kit for the first time.

Laying down the basic story may go much faster than anticipated. This is a good thing.

On a totally different note, I just saw a moldy spot on a piece of toast I was eating This is a bad thing, especially since I just finished eating another piece of toast from the same loaf of bread