Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

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peppermintdragon
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Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#1 Post by peppermintdragon » Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:08 pm

Hallow’s Mystery? [Mystery][Comedy]

Synopsis: Two Pillow Piglet (Big and Pin) was transported to a Halloween town by a weird bus at Halloween midnight. It seems the Halloween town is having a problem, and they have to solve the mystery to return to their world before the Halloween night over! Will they able to solve to the mystery??

Main Objective: Have fun and solve the mystery.

Main Character:

Piglet (big and Pin)
Both of them are called Pillow Piglet. They are a bit silly and simple-minded, and they are pretty lazy. But in order to get back to their places, they willing to use their empty head once to solve the mystery.
Purple- Big
Pink- Pin

Halloween Jack
Eventhough he has high popurilaty in Halloween Town, he still happy to get along with other villagers. He usually active on Halloween night, and he likes to read books about crime case and mystery. He is helping Piglet to go around the town.

Cat 13th
thief in Halloween Town. A naughty cat who making fool of the witches. Likes to steal shiny stuff and potion from witches. It stays at Walking shoe house and being chased by Baliff. Clever and wicked cat, always admire Halloween Jack.

Detective hangman
Always hanging himself to sleep. Though he is lazy, but he has his own justice to protect the peace for Halloween town.

Vampire Baliff
Works under Detective Hangman. Always chasing criminal aka Cat 13 in Halloween town.

Progress: 1% writing
50% idea

Question:
1) Does the character and summary sound interesting? Would you play?
2) Should i add some history about the halloween character? Like Jack O lantern?
3) Any suggestion?
4) should i keep the human form, or the pig form?


Concept Art:
Attachments
Franky.jpg
HYCOMMISSIONSIGNEDsmall.jpg
It was a commission from a friend. and we was inspired from this artwork.
Last edited by peppermintdragon on Fri May 16, 2014 10:05 pm, edited 4 times in total.
My WIP project: Hallow Mystery.
Check it out!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=26120

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Wissa
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#2 Post by Wissa » Sun Apr 13, 2014 11:14 am

This is really cute. I'm such a Burton fan.

Kuzlalala
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#3 Post by Kuzlalala » Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:11 am

I think this is interesting. Can't wait to see other concept art.

peppermintdragon
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#4 Post by peppermintdragon » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:26 am

Kuzlalala wrote:I think this is interesting. Can't wait to see other concept art.
yay! Thanks!! >W< I will update more about it when im have the free time to work on it ^^
My WIP project: Hallow Mystery.
Check it out!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=26120

peppermintdragon
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#5 Post by peppermintdragon » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:31 am

Wissa wrote:This is really cute. I'm such a Burton fan.
Hehe! So am i !>W< I love his creativity~~ Thanks for dropping by~
My WIP project: Hallow Mystery.
Check it out!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=26120

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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#6 Post by AntiquedFae » Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:26 pm

The theme of this looks completely fantastic! I love dark comedy and Halloween themed things way too much!!! :D
My only concern is this: If your game is going to be released in English, based on the writing level in the summary, I think you need a good proofreader. I don't say this is be mean; I think your story sounds fantastic and so very fun, and from the piece of artwork you have shown the art looks great as well! The trouble is that the English writing isn't on the same high level that the other aspects of the game seem to be, so I am worried about this preventing your game from being as successful as it could be. If you don't have a good English-speaking proofreader already there are lots on this forum who I'm sure would be happy to help you out! Don't be offended please, I just wanted to let you know about this if you didn't already. :)
Otherwise, best of wishes with your game!! It sounds great! I will definitely be watching it!~ ^_^
You can call me Fae!
I offer 110% free proofreading, editing and ideabouncing for select games. You can find out more in my thread.

peppermintdragon
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#7 Post by peppermintdragon » Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:24 pm

AntiquedFae wrote:The theme of this looks completely fantastic! I love dark comedy and Halloween themed things way too much!!! :D
My only concern is this: If your game is going to be released in English, based on the writing level in the summary, I think you need a good proofreader. I don't say this is be mean; I think your story sounds fantastic and so very fun, and from the piece of artwork you have shown the art looks great as well! The trouble is that the English writing isn't on the same high level that the other aspects of the game seem to be, so I am worried about this preventing your game from being as successful as it could be. If you don't have a good English-speaking proofreader already there are lots on this forum who I'm sure would be happy to help you out! Don't be offended please, I just wanted to let you know about this if you didn't already. :)
Otherwise, best of wishes with your game!! It sounds great! I will definitely be watching it!~ ^_^
Thank you so much !! >W< I will try to update often ! XD

Oh No problem, i know my english grammar is pretty bad, so i will find my friends to help me look through my script before i start XD I wouldnt want my english ruined the fun of the game too :D thanks for the advice!
My WIP project: Hallow Mystery.
Check it out!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=26120

peppermintdragon
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Posts: 24
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Re: Hallow's Mystery [WIP][Mystery]x[Comedy]

#8 Post by peppermintdragon » Sun May 04, 2014 10:53 am

A bit of update! This thread still not dead!

today not in the mood of doing assignment, so i did a doodle on one of the character! :D Consider as concept art though ^^; might change his appearance again.
Attachments
Franky.jpg
My WIP project: Hallow Mystery.
Check it out!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=26120

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