UPDATE 24/08- Depressed Writer [Slice of Life][BL][GL][BxG]

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UPDATE 24/08- Depressed Writer [Slice of Life][BL][GL][BxG]

#1 Post by 78909087 » Sat Aug 16, 2014 4:42 pm

Hello- I am a very new coder here, and I'm hoping to just throw this up as soon as I can since my other, much MUCH bigger VNs are pretty much dead.
Like rocks. Very dead rocks.
Anyway- So the idea for this VN/KN (not sure which atm) is pretty blurry at the moment but I'm hoping to really shape it up.
EDIT 6 SPLASHSCREEN!
Image
Here's the menu (which I may or may not have spent four hours on...)
Image
UPDATED PICTURE!
Basically, the protagonist (you- who will be able to choose gender and name in the beginning) suffer from depression.
And you write. Daily. (More than I can say about myself)
And as you write, you 'learn' more about 'yourself' as the protagonist.
You fall into the imaginary worlds- you dream of the lands and things that you write- you shape everything you choose... (My flagging will shape up at least...)
And in the end- when you return to reality, it's kind of a bleak existence.
I'm hoping to tie some life lessons into the stories and make the player fall into the role before snapping them out.
I think if I can achieve that well enough, and allow the idea to seep through, the return to reality- with a crippling mental illness might hit them hard enough.
Not enough people understand what it's like to be depressed, and I really want to bring some light to it.
In the bleak reality- 'you' will have the amazingly fun opportunity to attend therapy, buy prescription drugs, take prescription drugs (or forget they exist sometimes, like I do), see 'people', have 'friends' that don't quite understand how you are, visit publishers, struggle to wake up and convince yourself it's worth it, etc...
In this way, I think I can make it more realistic- although I'm making a lot of work for myself in the way of artwork... (Oops.)
I believe I can do a good job- considering I am a writer myself, struggling with quite a few mental illnesses.
While I think making it a KN will work (and make it easier to write) I also feel like it could end up quite boring. (I live for decisions, man.)
I'm hoping the VN stories might allow the more 'stubborn' people to stick around long enough to understand what I'm trying to say/do/portray.
So... Any questions would be great cause it's likely I haven't asked myself.
EDIT
The stories and endings are highly influenced by the decisions made while playing.
Also- there are minor tweaks in story-lines between female and male routes... So not everything here may be 100% accurate.

EDIT 2! Physical description and a little more depth... I think!

EDIT 3! Little details tweaked. I've set in stone more depth... Character sketches soon!

EDIT 4!! Some character sketches- more to come. Don't take anything as 100%

EDIT 5!!! Character sketches mostly done. Remember- none of this is 100%


Characters:

Protagonist- 'YourName' Daniels. Male default "Adam." Female default "Tina."
I can't say very much here, except that you suffer from depression, and you write. Your best friend is Jacob Cullard and you enjoy naps.
The rest is found out through play.
You're fairly plain looking- SORRY. Brown and brown it is, but a nice, chestnut-y hair and chocolate-brown eyes...
Image (Looked brown on the computer- apparently not...)

Jacob Cullard
The infamous bestie of the protagonist. Works as a model!
Physical description: Lean, 179cm, blonde shaggy hair, green eyes, half-smile. His defining feature is a scar just in-front of and below his right ear.
Image
He is gay- as in homosexual, and was bullied through his school life (in both male and female routes). Because of the bullying, he grew to love himself for himself. He learnt that people would say terrible things no matter what he did, so he was going to be comfortable. It got him a lot of hate at first, but people grew to respect him. He dates more than you, and often tells you all about it. He's quite clingy to you as a friend.
His clingy-ness stems from his own personal experience. You don't actually know this information until way later in the story so I can't actually tell you.
Sorry!

OTHER CHARACTERS

Note- the female and male names will be sectioned by a slash to make up for different gender routes. Most share a last name.

Carmen and Kale Winters (an exception to the genderbend!)
As cold as their names sound.
Physical appearance: Both red-heads. Kale's hair is medium-length, mostly straight with curled tips, Carmen's hair is mid-back ringlets. Kale has grey-blue eyes and Carmen has brown eyes. Their defining feature is their hair.
Image Red hair will probably actually be red in game...
Graduates of Charles Sturt University, moving from the remote Lithglow New South Wales, these twins work for the local chemists- and don't find it very appealing. While Carmen is outspoken and honest, she appears apathetic to the consequences of her words. Kale is more emotion-based, stubborn, rash and quick to state his opinion. While both reclusive, they rely heavily on one another and have a strong bond. You will meet them when you go to get your prescription filled.
"You... Again?"
(Optional same-sex relationship with the twin!)

Alexander/Eleanor Faye
The assistant at the therapist's office.
Physical appearance: Brown hair, grey eyes, Eleanor's hair is always tied in a braid with a green ribbon to try and hide her birthmark. Their defining feature is the aforementioned birthmark- on their neck.
Kindly- the type that will do almost anything asked of them. Born with Cystic Fibrosis, a bout of Tonsilitus resilted in a secondary infection and the eventual removal of a lung. The surgery, recovery and weakness kept them from high-school for a few years, and they currently study Art and Psychology at university. They are a person who will only show their angry side when someone pushes it too far. Quick to apologise and easy to laugh with, especially about cats.
"Laughter is the best medicine, right?"

Top- Eleanor, Alexander.
Image
Bottom- Ace, Tara.

Ace/Tara Kerry
This lad/lass is about the equivalent of five energy drinks and a bucket of sherbet.
Physical appearance: Jet-black hair, sharply cut- Ace's is relatively short; Tara's is pixie-cut. They both have blue eyes and their defining feature is their green-rimmed glasses (and bubblegum!).
Introduced by Jacob, you start seeing them everywhere. They work at the grocery store, and have about as much energy as a happy puppy. Eager to talk, eager to make you laugh- they seem almost infatuated with fun. They always carry chewing-gum, and seem to never stop grinning. But below the surface, it seems there's something amiss. A child who was never wanted found their place in society, and refused to back down.
"Want some gum, sugarplum?"

??Mr/Ms Hunter??
The strange, mysterious figure who you are handed through to whenever you submit a story for publishing.
Physical appearance: ??
Mr/Ms Hunter is the ‘person’ that kick-starts your motors. Posting you a hand-written letter detailing a contract, your jaw seems to stick open. They want you to write novels. As many novels as you can, about everything that comes to mind. However, it seems they are rather picky. They assure you that you are not lacking in talent, only in focus, and calmly assess your writing. Their disembodied voice seems young considering their status, and you are all too curious about the owner of it.
"I assure you, we will talk again, Ms/Mr. _____."
HUMAN ANTAGONIST??
Mila Daemon
Mila is a family friend that has been instructed by your parents to keep an ‘eye’ on you. She believes that mental health is just a person’s choice, and evidence of a weak personality.
Physical appearance: Grey-brown hair pulled back into a bun, with a short fringe, hazel eyes. Defining feature- her brown animal-print reading glasses which always hang around her neck by a plain black string.
Sweet in front of others, she is quick to become a real demon when alone with you. She constantly gives you what she calls ‘good advice’ and calls you ‘insolent’ for not improving. While she is on pills for her hereditary arthritis, she is quick to call you a drug-addict for having anti-depressants, saying that you just want a legal way of getting ‘out of your mind’.
Your parents find her charming, however, and have always ignored your pleading to remove her from your life.

Ideas for endings (Honestly if you haven't guessed there are already spoilers everywhere...)
All of them branch off of decisions made in the game- leading to some measure of success (or failure)
You can;
Publish a book (secrets for this ending)
Fall in love (straight and gay relationships!)

Friendships (appreciation for the friends you have- //normal love end//)

Improve depression (easy to achieve, if you follow a ‘certain’ strategy).
Continue bland life (THIS ROUTE IS THE 'YOU TRIED' ROUTE- you default to this route if you survive but don't have the right points for another ending.)

And last but not least, there are many opportunities, if your cards aren't played right, where you may die.
YAY.
QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO ANSWER (Please?)

1. What do you think of the characters? Are there any suggestions for development?

2. Is the art-style okay? Will it benefit to keep backgrounds fairly shaded and dark?

3. Do you think by using a solid (human) antagonist, the storyline can be pushed? Should there be some changes? [Edit- Mila]

4. Do you think that keeping the balance between battling depression and escaping it is a good topic to focus on?

5. If not, what other focuses could you suggest?

SCRIPT BY Pacermist

ART BY BlackBun

MUSIC FROM VARIOUS SOURCES
Including but not limited to: Alexander Budd and Incompetech.

Other art for Depressed Writer by BlackBun for fun (which she probably wishes I didn't share...)

Image
Last edited by 78909087 on Sun Aug 24, 2014 8:19 am, edited 20 times in total.

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Re: IDEA- Depressed Writer [BxG] [Slice of Life]

#2 Post by sempersapiens » Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:29 am

This sounds like a cool idea! I'm always interested in games that deal with mental illness. How much choice do you plan on giving the player regarding what the character writes about?

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Re: IDEA- Depressed Writer [BxG] [Slice of Life]

#3 Post by 78909087 » Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:58 am

sempersapiens wrote:This sounds like a cool idea! I'm always interested in games that deal with mental illness. How much choice do you plan on giving the player regarding what the character writes about?
I'm actually not quite sure about that. The thing is that the protagonist will have reoccurring nightmares and I'm hoping to give the player an option to write about the nightmares to reach one of the endings. But as for the actual story- it reflects the choices made in reality.
As for endings themselves (I never really wrote about this) I'm planning on quite a few-
All of them branch off of decisions made in the game- leading to some measure of success (or failure)
You can;
Publish a book (secrets for this ending)
Fall in love (both guys and girls have this option since I'm pretty much gender-bending)
Be cured (over time)
And last but not least, there are many opportunities, if your cards aren't played right, where you may die.

I'll go up and add some character settings and endings now.
I've been working on it for 13 hours straight. *Phew.* :lol:

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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#4 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:07 am

While this obviously needs to be fleshed out, I'm intrigued by it. If executed well, I think it could really go places.

One thing I would recommend is that a definite "cure" not be made part of an ending. It's certainly possible to cure a person of depression, but relapses are just as possible. I know from personal experience that even with proper treatment over time, the illness is not something that is banished and then forgotten about forever. (Those who have achieved this are few and far between, to my knowledge.)

The character concepts also need more depth. I like Alexander/Eleanor, though. He/She is probably the most complex and interesting of the bunch right now, in my opinion.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#5 Post by sempersapiens » Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:34 am

Mad Harlequin wrote:One thing I would recommend is that a definite "cure" not be made part of an ending. It's certainly possible to cure a person of depression, but relapses are just as possible. I know from personal experience that even with proper treatment over time, the illness is not something that is banished and then forgotten about forever. (Those who have achieved this are few and far between, to my knowledge.)
I agree, I feel that sometimes games involving depression make it seem like something that's easy to get over. I'm always really disappointed if there's a happy ending where everything's great - not only is it cheesy and hard to believe, but it gives the wrong idea to players who don't know much about mental illness. A bittersweet ending is probably more realistic - the protagonist is feeling better than before, but knows there's still a long battle ahead.

Also I'm even more interested now that you've added that there will be gay and straight relationship options in the game! I'm bi myself, so I'm always really happy when I play a character who can be as well. This game sounds like it could turn out to be something I really enjoy.

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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#6 Post by 78909087 » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:10 am

Mad Harlequin wrote:One thing I would recommend is that a definite "cure" not be made part of an ending. It's certainly possible to cure a person of depression, but relapses are just as possible. I know from personal experience that even with proper treatment over time, the illness is not something that is banished and then forgotten about forever.
Oh my, I'm sorry for making it seem that way- no way hosé! I have depression myself, and I've been struggling with it for almost seven years now. A long time in hindsight considering I'm not any older than 20.
I meant that the protagonist feels as though they've made some progress. At the beginning of the novel the protagonist is completely lost- they have absolutely nothing. No ambition, no drive, nothing. Jacob keeps them going, but it's more of a feeling of being 'indebted' to live for him.
I was planning on making it the 'well you tried' ending. The 'Well you never got the special ending, or a guy, or a girl, but hey! You survived!' ending, if you get what I mean.
More or less along the lines of "Looking back on it, I've come a long way despite *enter a tonne of plot spoilers too good to give away*.
Mad Harlequin wrote:The character concepts also need more depth. I like Alexander/Eleanor, though. He/She is probably the most complex and interesting of the bunch right now, in my opinion.
Yes! This character is actually based off of someone really close to me. I'm working on the personalities for the others, but keep in mind that I can't give away a lot of the story, and that's where their little secrets are. The Winters were born and raised in the snow, alone and away from everyone for being different. They're red-heads so they were teased a lot. I was going to make them the character foil for Jacob, if you know what I mean. The 'well we didn't end up so well' 'couple of kids lost in the woods' feeling.
I also expand a lot more on characters as I write. The more in-character I get, the more I can read into what they do and say.
Ace/Tara has no parents. Just putting that out there. They actually work three jobs and have very little to smile about. There's a back-story for this as well. Sorry that they sound so cliché.
sempersapiens wrote:I agree, I feel that sometimes games involving depression make it seem like something that's easy to get over. I'm always really disappointed if there's a happy ending where everything's great - not only is it cheesy and hard to believe, but it gives the wrong idea to players who don't know much about mental illness. A bittersweet ending is probably more realistic - the protagonist is feeling better than before, but knows there's still a long battle ahead.
As I said before! I'm sorry for making it sound easy- I never EVER planned on making it something to snap out of. I've chewed so many peoples heads off for thinking that I could. It's going to be bittersweet- but I can't ruin it D: I'm so sorry. As I said before- this is DEFINITELY not the happy end! And the best end is the one I'm keeping secret!
sempersapiens wrote:Also I'm even more interested now that you've added that there will be gay and straight relationship options in the game! I'm bi myself, so I'm always really happy when I play a character who can be as well. This game sounds like it could turn out to be something I really enjoy.
(I'm bi too! *super hi-five*)
I actually add this kind of option in all of my games but I always fall short. But this time, I've fleshed it out and I'm thinking I can make it beautiful *sniffs* *wipes away imaginary tear*.
My mother actually believes bisexual people don't exist. So whenever I get her feedback, it's pretty negative about the double-gender-dating. Sucks, man. Really does.
But I'm really glad if I do finish this, and it can be something you enjoy, or feel anything toward, really. I only write to make people feel things. Most of the time it's hate.

Thankyou for all your responses! I was cheering and doing a victory dance when I posted and it said I got 11 views. Ahahaa. I'm a bit childish still, bear with me.

I want to make something I can call precious for you all.
THANKYOU AGAIN

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Re: UPDATE2- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#7 Post by sempersapiens » Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:07 am

I don't think either of us meant to accuse you of making it sound easy! We were just talking about the flaws of other games about depression. Good to hear that yours will be more realistic. :)

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Re: UPDATE2- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#8 Post by 78909087 » Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:30 am

sempersapiens wrote:I don't think either of us meant to accuse you of making it sound easy! We were just talking about the flaws of other games about depression. Good to hear that yours will be more realistic. :)
Just didn't want to disappoint you so early on. *phew*
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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#9 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Aug 17, 2014 9:39 pm

78909087 wrote:Oh my, I'm sorry for making it seem that way- no way José! I have depression myself, and I've been struggling with it for almost seven years now. A long time in hindsight considering I'm not any older than 20.

I meant that the protagonist feels as though they've made some progress.

Ah, I understand! Don't be sorry! If you have firsthand experience with depression, then I have no reason to worry---you know how the ups and downs go.
Yes! This character is actually based off of someone really close to me. I'm working on the personalities for the others, but keep in mind that I can't give away a lot of the story, and that's where their little secrets are.

I also expand a lot more on characters as I write. The more in-character I get, the more I can read into what they do and say.
Fair enough. I write, too, so I know how tough it can be to develop characters and plot without giving everything away. I'm sure the other characters will catch up in due time. :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#10 Post by 78909087 » Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:22 am

Mad Harlequin wrote:Fair enough. I write, too, so I know how tough it can be to develop characters and plot without giving everything away. I'm sure the other characters will catch up in due time. :)
I hope so. Don't want this to turn into a second-hand grease rip-off singing 'you better shape up', dropping your standards, using your body to get what you want and dancing before driving off into the sunset with absolutely no explanation.
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Re: UPDATE4- Depressed Writer[PICS!][BxG][Slice of Life][BL]

#11 Post by 78909087 » Mon Aug 18, 2014 6:26 am

I'll continue to add photos of drawings as they're made! *crosses fingers*
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Re: UPDATED- Depressed Writer [BxG][Slice of Life][BL][GL]

#12 Post by Mad Harlequin » Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:16 pm

78909087 wrote:I hope so. Don't want this to turn into a second-hand grease rip-off singing 'you better shape up', dropping your standards, using your body to get what you want and dancing before driving off into the sunset with absolutely no explanation.
Oh, God . . . I love Grease, peppy music and all, but I've always been mystified by and frustrated with the ending. Why does Sandy have to change to keep her man interested? :?

I know you'll do better than that! :roll:
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: UPDATE 5- Depressed Writer [Slice of Life] [BL] [GL] [Bx

#13 Post by silverpikachu99 » Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:22 pm

The art is looking amazing! Keep it up ^^
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Re: UPDATE 5- Depressed Writer [Slice of Life] [BL] [GL] [Bx

#14 Post by 78909087 » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:47 pm

silverpikachu99 wrote:The art is looking amazing! Keep it up ^^
I'm glad you think so! I'm sure BlackBun will be glad to know it's appreciated.
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Re: UPDATE 21/08- Depressed Writer [Slice of Life][BL][GL][B

#15 Post by 78909087 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:02 am

After a few pushes to move forward with the antagonist idea, I accepted and created Mila...
Picture to come.
MC's pictures will be updated as well.
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