Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

Ideas and games that are not yet publicly in production. This forum also contains the pre-2012 archives of the Works in Progress forum.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
polterghast
Newbie
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:51 am
Projects: Do We Have a Deal?, Sludge.
Organization: Ouroboros Games
IRC Nick: Kit
Tumblr: ouroborosgames
Location: England.
Contact:

Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#1 Post by polterghast »

So, currently I am already working on a visual novel as part of my team, but I wanted to get some feedback on an idea I've been thinking over for a while in regards to a future project.

I don't yet have a proper title in mind for this, but the genre is magical girl/boy with a slightly more of a regular superhero and dark fantasy twist. There is plenty of potential here for tragedy, a lot of black comedy and possibly some GxB/GxG, depending on whether or not I feel that writing obtainable into the routes would feel forced or not alongside the actual plot. (I'm all for otome, man, so hopefully this makes itself a reality~) Right then, without further ado, the plot.

Concept:
Quartz is a city quite unlike any other. Aside from the small fact it happens to be one of the many supernatural cities dotted about the earth, over the past year or so, there seems to be something very wrong with it. All of a sudden, Quartz has been overrrun with people that almost seem to fit the tropes of 'magical girls and boys' - as in transformations and named attacks, mind you, not your run of the mill witches and warlocks. Which would be all well and good, if it wasn't for the fact that such a thing has never been seen before by the supernatural community, nor should it be possible. Oh, and the fact they're killing eachother. That too.

After a bit of very distant observation and careful research, the QPD deduced a few things. All of these 'magis', as they came to be known, were previously witches or warlocks, and all seemed to have met with a very unfortunate accident not long before they underwent this strange transformation. Accidents that should have almost definitely been fatal. These poor souls, on their death beds, were met by a friendly face and a very kind offer, an offer that few dying people would ever think to turn down. A second chance at life, with a renewed purpose - and power beyond compare. All for the low, low price of your soul.

And so, for the past year, the rogue contract demon known as 'Ghast' has been making these offers to unfortunate witches and warlocks, almost taken before their time, giving them life and some of his power in exchange for them taking on a new life as a magi, to use their new powers to reap the souls of evil. Or any souls at all. He doesn't really care. Using this new surplus of souls to keep himself comfortable and provide for his new protégés, everything seemed to be coming up Ghast... until Hell got involved. Naturally, stealing souls that would otherwise be intended for Heaven or Hell doesn't sit right with the higher ups, and once Death himself caught wind of what Ghast was doing, it seemed about time that the Reapers got involved - with Hell's collaboration - to track down this rogue contract demon and stop his selfish deeds. But Ghast is two things if nothing else - incredibly clever and incredibly determined to survive.

So Ghast did what contract demons do best - find a loophole and exploit the hell out of it. And this is where our protagonist comes in.
Nineteen year old Sonia has always wanted to be a superhero, ever since she was little. So, when Ghast appears to her and tells her she's been chosen in the aftermath of a car crash, naturally she's delighted. Well, as delighted as one can be in such a situation anyway. Ghast gives the young witch the means to perform a ritual he claims will 'bind' them, giving Sonia his powers and allowing her to become the magi she has always dreamed of. Little does she know, this ritual binds Ghast to her as a servant, meaning that he is now both entirely in her control, and completely untouchable by Reapers and Hell. A win-win situation, right? Not quite. There is still the small matter of the other magi roaming the city, now unknowingly consuming the souls they reap due to Ghast being conveniently missing, and becoming quickly demonized and extremely hungry. Any and all magi become a target for the powerful, particularly the newbies - a category that Sonia fits into nicely.

Can Sonia live out her dream of being a 'superhero', survive the brutal hostility of Quartz's magi and dodge the Reapers that seem to be popping up everywhere to try and put a stop to the soul buffet going on in the city? With Ghast's 'helpful' tips, and the assistance of fellow magi Valentine, her chances are looking... slim at best. Fingers crossed?

Cast: (WIP)

Sonia Kael - '???';
The Delusional Hero...?

Image Image

Sonia is a little... odd. She has always been utterly fascinated by superheroes, wanting to hone her magic as an arcane witch to be best suited to someday fighting alongside her masked heroes, obsessed with combat based magic, gadgets and other such things. Unfortunately, her parents voiced a few small flaws in her plan, namely that first and foremost, superhero isn't a viable career path, and second, superheroes aren't... real. Sonia was discouraged, but she did not forget her dream. Instead she pursued the slightly more realistic goal of art and design - having shown a flare for it in her years of doodling superhero costumes almost everywhere in her school books - on the surface at least. Attempting to lead a life of normality proved to be quite the challenge, and though Sonia struggled with the social aspect of college life, she at least conquered the academic side with relative ease, allowing her parents to breathe a collective sigh of relief. Sonia earnt herself an apprenticeship with a well-known company, moved out and everything seemed to be going well. Then a car crash left her trapped within the twisted wreckage and on the brink of death, until the smiling face of a friendly stranger appeared from the fog and offered her all of her greatest dreams on a silver platter. It wasn't like she was using her soul anyway.

Darcy Elmore - 'Valentine';
Self Proclaimed Magi Extraordinaire.

ImageImage

The life of a magi is a rough one, quite the dog eat dog world... in some cases, literally. So when Sonia finds herself really quite out of her depth and up against some powerful magi, the 'mysterious' and 'dashing' Valentine comes to her rescue. Who is then revealed to be a little more self absorbed and vain than anything else, but he is - at the very least - a damn good magi. Valentine does not agree with the state of affairs that the magi world has descended into, a volatile anarchy spilling blood left right and center. And Valentine is not a violent man. Sort of. Regardless, he takes pity on Sonia, having been unceremoniously thrust into this deathtrap, and decides to take her under his immaculately groomed, unnecessarily showy wing. And together, the two of them shall take the world by storm...

Ghast;
The 'Benevolent' Teacher.

Image

The contract demon behind this whole mess. Ghast decided that working for hell simply wasn't for him - they were going in two completely different creative directions, Hell saw him as an obedient worker, and Ghast saw himself somewhere a little different. Say, in a managerial position. Maybe even CEO. Ghast got just that, in the form of being self employed, and eventually found his way to Quartz to see about striking himself some deals off the record. But simple contracts were just so boring, it was always the same old shtick; 'your soul for your loved one' or 'your soul for infinite fame and wealth'. Perhaps it was tedium, perhaps it was the fact that the modern population seemed to be catching wise to these age-old tricks, but Ghast desired a new game. Taking a little inspiration from some popular media he happened to stumble upon, Ghast decided to make things more interesting, turning a lucky few percent of Quartz' citizens into magi, simply to sit back and watch what happened next. Their task was simple; they would remain as powerful magi able to hone their craft and save lives... all as long as they harvested souls regularly. The souls would keep them powerful, and more importantly, alive. After all, it is difficult to function without a soul... But, as with all good things, it had to come to an end, and with Reapers on his trail, Ghast was a desperate demon. Finding Sonia was no more than a stroke of good luck, and after spinning her the old 'chosen one' story - which worked a lot better than expected, the poor thing's a bit superhero mad, who knew? - he found himself nice and cosy in the position of her resident contract demon servant. Now he has a slightly different problem; keeping her alive. Because if she dies, the Reapers will come down on him like a tonne of bricks, and that's the last thing he needs.

A few extra design concepts that will eventually be worked into developed characters:

Image

Progress:
- Sonia's regular and magi forms designed.
- Valentine's regular and magi form designed.
- Ghast designed.
- Side character concepts designed, awaiting development.

Questions:
- Do you like the sound of the premise?
- Would you be interested in seeing otome-esque elements in this? (obtainables worked into the routes, etc.)
- What do you think of the characters so far? Do you have a favourite?

Any other questions, alongside title and character name suggestions are always appreciated~!
Last edited by polterghast on Wed Feb 04, 2015 9:45 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
polterghast
Newbie
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:51 am
Projects: Do We Have a Deal?, Sludge.
Organization: Ouroboros Games
IRC Nick: Kit
Tumblr: ouroborosgames
Location: England.
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#2 Post by polterghast »

Updated with Valentine's human and magi concepts!

User avatar
Mad Harlequin
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1068
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:55 am
Projects: Emma: A Lady's Maid (editor)
IRC Nick: MadHarlequin
Location: Gotham City
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#3 Post by Mad Harlequin »

polterghast wrote:And so, for the past year, the rogue contract demon known as 'Ghast' has been making these offers to unfortunate witches and warlocks, almost taken before their time, giving them life and some of his power in exchange for them taking on a new life as a magi, to use their new powers to reap the souls of evil. Or any souls at all. He doesn't really care. Using this new surplus of souls to keep himself comfortable and provide for his new protégés, everything seemed to be coming up Ghast... until Hell got involved. Naturally, stealing souls that would otherwise be intended for Heaven or Hell doesn't sit right with the higher ups, and once Death himself caught wind of what Ghast was doing, it seemed about time that the Reapers got involved - with Hell's collaboration - to track down this rogue contract demon and stop his selfish deeds. But Ghast is two things if nothing else - incredibly clever and incredibly determined to survive.

So Ghast did what contract demons do best - find a loophole and exploit the hell out of it. And this is where our protagonist comes in.
1. This sounds a bit like Puella Magi Madoka Magica, except for the fact that Ghast's actions are the exception rather than the rule. (Did he watch it? :lol:) Anyway, yes, I'm interested in your mystery project! In particular, I want to know more about the inner workings of Hell. I wonder what the folks there think of this mess?

2. I could go either way, but I'm leaning towards no. I don't think otome elements would be necessary for this to be a good story, but I understand why it sounds appealing to add them.

3. Your concepts and designs are quite charming---no surprise there! Ghast is honestly my favorite right now, though. He has a really strong motivation, and I love that.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

User avatar
polterghast
Newbie
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:51 am
Projects: Do We Have a Deal?, Sludge.
Organization: Ouroboros Games
IRC Nick: Kit
Tumblr: ouroborosgames
Location: England.
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#4 Post by polterghast »

1. This sounds a bit like Puella Magi Madoka Magica, except for the fact that Ghast's actions are the exception rather than the rule. (Did he watch it? :lol:) Anyway, yes, I'm interested in your mystery project! In particular, I want to know more about the inner workings of Hell. I wonder what the folks there think of this mess?
Ah, I was waiting for someone to comment on that. xD Yeah, that similarity did occur to me when I was thinking through the concept, though at the very least Ghast is a (relatively, no certainties on how sincere he's being :l) friendly face as opposed to a tiny creature that I want to strangle. -coughcough-screwyoukyubey-cough- I have a feeling that may have been part of his inspiration though, he did miss out on a lot of modern media so I'm sure he was glad for an opportunity to catch up. :l Hell doesn't get very good TV shows. As for the inner workings of Hell, that's something that will likely get touched upon a LOT in the various projects of Ouroboros Games, seeing as basically all of our ideas happen to take place in the same universe (Do We Have a Deal? included~) So hopefully a lot of your questions shall be answered. As for how Hell feels about Ghast? Well, any and all rogue contract demons are a massive pain and are bad for business, so I don't think they like him much. :l
2. I could go either way, but I'm leaning towards no. I don't think otome elements would be necessary for this to be a good story, but I understand why it sounds appealing to add them.
I've been coming more around to that way of thinking while developing the idea recently, so I think I will be giving the otome elements a miss this time (unless of course a relationship happens to develop itself between the characters - which I can't really comment on, I have no idea what will happen. My characters tend to do what they want a lot of the time. :T) So, as far as that goes, at the very most it'll be a backburner sub-plot to everything else.
3. Your concepts and designs are quite charming---no surprise there! Ghast is honestly my favorite right now, though. He has a really strong motivation, and I love that.
I'm glad! I will hopefully upload a concept of Ghast later on, I have some of it sketched out but I'm still a little uncertain on the design. Thank you!

User avatar
Mad Harlequin
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1068
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:55 am
Projects: Emma: A Lady's Maid (editor)
IRC Nick: MadHarlequin
Location: Gotham City
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#5 Post by Mad Harlequin »

polterghast wrote:Ah, I was waiting for someone to comment on that. xD Yeah, that similarity did occur to me when I was thinking through the concept, though at the very least Ghast is a (relatively, no certainties on how sincere he's being :l) friendly face as opposed to a tiny creature that I want to strangle. -coughcough-screwyoukyubey-cough- I have a feeling that may have been part of his inspiration though, he did miss out on a lot of modern media so I'm sure he was glad for an opportunity to catch up. :l Hell doesn't get very good TV shows.
Well, Ghast seems to be immoral rather than amoral like Kyuubey, so I'm sure you can make the concept different enough.
As for the inner workings of Hell, that's something that will likely get touched upon a LOT in the various projects of Ouroboros Games, seeing as basically all of our ideas happen to take place in the same universe (Do We Have a Deal? included~) So hopefully a lot of your questions shall be answered.
I was suspecting that you might connect Do We Have a Deal? to this somehow, but wow, you're going all-out!
I've been coming more around to that way of thinking while developing the idea recently, so I think I will be giving the otome elements a miss this time (unless of course a relationship happens to develop itself between the characters - which I can't really comment on, I have no idea what will happen. My characters tend to do what they want a lot of the time.
There's no reason you couldn't just write the thing, even if a romantic relationship emerges.

But I have another point to make: there are also different kinds of relationships. It may be tempting to make a romantic match here, but I could easily see Sonia and Valentine as friends or rivals, or mentor and pupil. I wouldn't mind reading a story that doesn't treat romance as a knee-jerk given.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

User avatar
polterghast
Newbie
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:51 am
Projects: Do We Have a Deal?, Sludge.
Organization: Ouroboros Games
IRC Nick: Kit
Tumblr: ouroborosgames
Location: England.
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#6 Post by polterghast »

Updated with Ghast's design, finally!

User avatar
Mad Harlequin
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1068
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:55 am
Projects: Emma: A Lady's Maid (editor)
IRC Nick: MadHarlequin
Location: Gotham City
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#7 Post by Mad Harlequin »

You made him adorable . . . :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

Akai85
Regular
Posts: 86
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2014 3:43 am
Projects: Dawn of the Humans(WWIP), The Diamond Man(WWIP)
Organization: ermineSt.
Deviantart: ermineSt.
Skype: ermineSt.
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Currently Untitled [Magical Girl/Boy, Dark Fantasy]

#8 Post by Akai85 »

1. Yeah! It actually sounds really cool! I'm interested in seeing how Sonia fares as a "hero" considering she likely has romantic delusions about the whole affair and hasn't considered the difficulties that may arise. The soul possession is also really cool and that's always been something I've liked in stories.

2. With the characters mentioned so far I'm not interested in romance. I'm more interested in the story than dating. (But I am excited about the characterisation and relationships as the characters seem like they'd have some interesting dynamics with each other.)

3. I like them all. Maybe Valentine if he turns out to be as vain and narcissistic as I'm thinking. I always find characters like that entertaining. Also, his name reminds me of another Valentine (I'm not talking about those ya novels) from one of my favourite books ever who was really cool, yet vain and narcissistic himself.

I actually think this sounds really cool and I'm excited to see more. (I rarely get excited about these things btw.) I love superhero deconstruction stories, and afterlife related things and your designs are really cool, have character and aren't white biased which is always nice to see.
I did nothing. And still I rise.
And still I rise.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users