Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhero]

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Fluxx
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Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhero]

#1 Post by Fluxx » Sat Feb 07, 2015 11:57 pm

Image
[center]~Keep calm and love on, fly me to the music. I dreamed about a world of fantasy, a world I could escape too. A world becoming real.~[/center]
Genres:
Psychological, Drama, Romance, Action-Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Superhero
Intro

Welcome to the Alexis University. You have been chosen to join our ranks unlike many others because of the unique and special gifts you possess. Here you will sharpen these talents and use them to reach greater heights. You will learn, meet friends, and excel at the highest level of achievement-If you survive first that is...

Synopsis:
After moving back to New York, Marcus Maduka's life is changed forever as he is saved from certain death by a childhood friend, a mysterious girl that had given him special abilities. Soon he's enrolled in new school...A school that leads to another realm in the middle of Omniversal space.There they are reunited and she once again promises him extraordinary power beyond his wildest dreams, but it comes with a cost....
CONCEPT:
Basically it's your average superhero story on a bigger scale with a couple twists. Throughout the story you will travel to many worlds and even different universes, however the main setting of the school is in a heaven realm known as Valteria. Here exists the Gods called the creators, better known as Valterians -They were created by the Elder Gods and given the power to create worlds. They gave birth hybrids and Hallowed(Beings with Valterian blood or ancestors) The school in the story was made for these descendents. There are also various alien races in the across the Omniverse that co-exist on Valteria as well.


There is a lot more to it but that will give you a good picture.


CHARACTERS:

Marcus Chime Maduka (Magnificent)
Image
Our lovable protagonist.
He's quiet, but becomes rather talkative once you get to know him. He can be sarcastic and pretty cynical, he wants to know his purpose in life. He is given the power to become one of his heroes.


Arabella Alexis (Galaxia)
Image
Omega class Hallowed-Valterian hybrid that has the power to bend reality to her will. Arabella is outwardly cold and apathetic due to her isolation, but can be very caring an nurturing. Very passionate.


Arden Saphira Sapere Dragonborne (Life Dragon)
Image
Valterian Dragon God-She is the King of Valteria. Arden is courageous and determined but can be a little vain. Very unwilling to show emotions.


Robyn Khalil (Pace)
Image
Girl that was interested in Marcus at first sight. She's a bit of a tomboy, but calm and easygoing, she rolls with the punches but is quick to point out things she has an issue with.
.

Devin Kallendrake (Claret Harvest/BloodReaper)
Image
(by Aviala)
Valterian Vampire God that is that is part of a Valterian secret society. She is an ancestor to shinso family of vampires. She acts very whimsical and carefree, but is actually very smart, analytical, and has a serious side.


Evelyn Kallendrake (Mischief)
Image
(By Aviala)
Vampire God also part of the secret society, She's the twin sister of Devin but didn't grow as much. Most of the time she is very extroverted, outgoing, and upbeat. However she has no problem instigating problems and deep down is very sadistic.



Yoko Minami (Tiamat)
Image
Yoko is a mix between two alien races called the Tainted and the Vivians. She is the leader of the student council and works with Arden. Yoko is quiet (when not dealing with Arden) and cold. Somewhat socially awkward when it comes to dealing with people. Struggles with her compulsions to kill.

OTHERS
Seal Cunningham
Yvonne Alexis (Heaven's Riches)
Brian "Bri" Lucas (Nephila)
Jamie Foster (Rockhead)
Killian Williams (Burner)
Ruko Savannah (Lightspeed)
Kazuya
Fox


ROUTES:
Magnificent Love (Arabella)
Enter The Kingdom (Arden)
Age of Cypher (Robyn)
Escape Fornever(Devin & Evelyn)
Sinners Eden (Yoko)


PROGRESS:
Outline: 100%
Script: --
Concept Art:--
Sprites:--
Backgrounds: --
CGs: --
Music/Sound:--
Coding: --
GUI:--

ALPHA/PROTO V1: (Scrapped)
Script:100%
Editing-Proofreading:100%
Artwork:100%
Coding:100%
Music/Sound:100%

DEMO V1
Script:25%
Editing-Proofreading:0%
Artwork:0%
Coding:25%
Music/Sound:0%


Natural Freedom:
Fluxx:Writer/Artist/Scripter
TJ: Idea Bouncer
Qdr: Support

Others:
Accha & Aviala: Character Design
Badriel: Logo

Features I Would Like:
Codex
Stat Sheet
Animations

Does the premise interest you?
Which character interests you most?
What questions do you have about the novel?
Last edited by Fluxx on Mon Dec 23, 2019 12:36 pm, edited 47 times in total.
CURRENT PROJECTS (Ongoing)
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Nature's Kingdom - A Girl Wishes for Utopia -
Web Novel that takes place in the same universe as Magnificent//Omniversal Love.

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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love(Working Title)[Fantasy/Si-F

#2 Post by plainviewer » Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:38 am

I'll try to keep my impressions very brief. After reading them, if you'd like me to expand further or clarify anything, please ask.

The idea sounds like it holds much promise. With the right polishing and work, it will soon enough reach its full potential.

I should note your idea has been used to establish the premise for many manga and anime stories alike: schoolboy meets girl with high social standing or mysterious powers--usually through some form of accident--and she introduces said boy into her group.

Next, the school just sounds like a place for learning, not necessarily training. Even if it was, why would a king go there? They've always had private tutoring from the best instructors. Her full time should be dedicated to the war, not on a student council, since that role is more easily replaceable than that of a king.

It's difficult for me to grasp the concept as to why these young people with so much power, are attending school. Maybe "school" isn't the appropriate word you should use. A training facility of some sort? If so, it doesn't sound like the place where people would enjoy themselves; considering their large responsibilities, and the strict disciplines they're learning.

Then, I don't see a reason why the protagonist should logically be in the story. There are no skills he could possibly have that would be useful to the kind of people at this school. And since he doesn't take the time to know someone from this other world--and he wouldn't bother, given his personality--why choose to introduce him--out of everyone else--into their world?

I'd focus more on ensuring the story remains as logical as possible, while still retaining your desired ideas. Given the type of story your working with, it's all too easy for it to become incoherent.

I suppose my main concern for this story is the setup with the protagonist. He should not be the hero for a story like this. Not because he has a "bad" personality, but because he has an incompatible one. Would you expect a jester to become a knight by the story's end? No, of course not. But you could expect a brave, but still naive and indecisive man to become a knight.

Just really think about it: why should an introverted, sarcastic cynic whose main interest is video games, deserve to gain great power, and have the chance to date these strong and very unique young women?

Why not someone who while still introverted, has a few artistic passions, even if he's not talented at them? Or someone--despite not exactly being popular--can still initiate a conversation and have a few friends? Maybe a guy who displays his courage/compassion, despite not having a girlfriend or even any friends.

A bit of warning I give to every writer I talk to, that make characters like this. No one is going to realistically (emphasis on that last word) care about their problems, if all they do is make problems for other people. If some stranger insulted you, then brushed you off without a second thought, would you care how bad they have it? Be honest. You can by all means make these characters, but they should never be heroes.

If they're protagonists, they should be in something like slice of life stories, where it's about dealing with your personal issues and becoming more mature. Honestly, given his personality, that's the kind of story your protagonist belongs in.

To conclude, I understand you want the protagonist not to have an extraordinary beginning, i.e., an everyman. That's perfectly fine, and in fact, very interesting. However, when making an everyman in a fantasy story like this, there's a huge cliche you should definitely avoid because it doesn't work.

Please forgive my blunt choice of words, but don't make the protagonist a jerk or a nerd. The first doesn't deserve or even want the role of a hero. The second could never realistically handle it, and it just sounds like wish-fulfillment. He doesn't have to be perfect, but he should still be relatable and have some desirable traits. With my previously listed examples, I hope that gives you an idea of what I mean.

Again, these were just my first impressions, and I tried my best to keep them brief. I hope you can find them helpful, and best of luck with your project.

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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love(Working Title)[Fantasy/Si-F

#3 Post by Fluxx » Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:16 am

plainviewer wrote:
Next, the school just sounds like a place for learning, not necessarily training. Even if it was, why would a king go there? They've always had private tutoring from the best instructors. Her full time should be dedicated to the war, not on a student council, since that role is more easily replaceable than that of a king.

It's difficult for me to grasp the concept as to why these young people with so much power, are attending school. Maybe "school" isn't the appropriate word you should use. A training facility of some sort? If so, it doesn't sound like the place where people would enjoy themselves; considering their large responsibilities, and the strict disciplines they're learning.

I called it a school because I wasn't sure if it was going to be an academy or a university. Since there may be +18 material I'm not sure how to age the characters.

You're right though, it's a place were hallowed and hybrids can learn to control their power, similar to X-men. Students are sent on missions across the multiverse. Many don't make it alive past each year. As for why Arden would go to the school? In general hallowed and hybrids are looked down upon by Valterians, Arden doesn't agree with most and decides to see what the "lesser races" are like up close, since she is king she can do whatever she wants lol.

I may have her start to disagree about what is school is doing with their students...

As for the student council your are 100% correct. I was thinking of having her part of the council in name only. That's why Yoko doesn't like her. She's never around.


plainviewer wrote: Then, I don't see a reason why the protagonist should logically be in the story. There are no skills he could possibly have that would be useful to the kind of people at this school. And since he doesn't take the time to know someone from this other world--and he wouldn't bother, given his personality--why choose to introduce him--out of everyone else--into their world?


I suppose my main concern for this story is the setup with the protagonist. He should not be the hero for a story like this. Not because he has a "bad" personality, but because he has an incompatible one. Would you expect a jester to become a knight by the story's end? No, of course not. But you could expect a brave, but still naive and indecisive man to become a knight.

Just really think about it: why should an introverted, sarcastic cynic whose main interest is video games, deserve to gain great power, and have the chance to date these strong and very unique young women?

Why not someone who while still introverted, has a few artistic passions, even if he's not talented at them? Or someone--despite not exactly being popular--can still initiate a conversation and have a few friends? Maybe a guy who displays his courage/compassion, despite not having a girlfriend or even any friends.

Actually someone close the protagonist in his family survived and graduated the academy. Also by meeting Arabella on Earth he became a target for people that wanted her power. He is given an invitation to the school because of these connections.

As for having a few passions I didn't list them because I thought it would be too much, but Marcus has an interest in making electronic & hip hop music, writing, and drawing even though he's not good at it. He does have a best friend that actually ends up the the academy as well, would that suffice?

plainviewer wrote: Please forgive my blunt choice of words, but don't make the protagonist a jerk or a nerd. The first doesn't deserve or even want the role of a hero. The second could never realistically handle it, and it just sounds like wish-fulfillment. He doesn't have to be perfect, but he should still be relatable and have some desirable traits. With my previously listed examples, I hope that gives you an idea of what I mean.

Again, these were just my first impressions, and I tried my best to keep them brief. I hope you can find them helpful, and best of luck with your project.

No problem, I love it! I gotcha, thanks for taking the time to read through.
Last edited by Fluxx on Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love(Working Title)[Fantasy/Si-F

#4 Post by plainviewer » Sun Feb 08, 2015 1:34 pm

Hello again,

I'm very glad you were able to find my thoughts helpful, and you're very welcome.

To better answer your question about the protagonist, the traits you listed help, but it needs a bit more than that.

For example, I've seen protagonists that were outright rude to people overall, but still held promise for becoming heroes. How, you might ask?

Sometimes, they knew how to fight (not a required trait, but it helps) so they knew how to stand up for themselves, and weren't easily intimidated. And to be honest, if you're a jerk and don't know how to fight, that behaviour will soon be discouraged.

Other times they display compassion by standing up for the little guy, despite generally being cold. In that instance, this is an example of selective compassion.

This can manifest in ways like only showing your nurturing side to family. Or when you see a victim in need, like someone getting mugged, you'll put yourself on the line because you believe in good. Or as a "rude" character might justify, you simply hate oppressors.

What about the polite protagonists that may be lonely, and aren't fighters? There's two things these characters need, and that's ambition and compassion.

With ambition, they acknowledge their lives aren't ideal and want to change that, they just aren't sure how or lack the required skills. Careful, though: don't just have them constantly talk about how bad things are, or it'll sound like complaining.

Then compassion, required of all heroes. Let's say your protagonist isn't rude, but he still avoids social interaction. Not because he's socially inept, but because he doesn't like people for his own reasons. That's fine. But when push comes to shove, he still has to have it within himself to protect people.

If you don't believe he's someone who's that brave, at least let him display courtesy (a milder form of compassion). If a girl drops all of her belongings, instead of ignoring her and walking away, he'll take the time to help pick them up. He may not smile while doing it, and his reasons may be, "Why not?" But he'll still do it.

If you follow these rules, you're guaranteed to have an ideal protagonist for becoming a hero. But remember that these are just outlines, and the specifics are whatever you decide.

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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#5 Post by Fluxx » Tue Mar 24, 2015 10:42 am

^It's been a while since Plain posted this but I wanted to respond publicly. I agree with this 100%

Update #1
Have started to input some of the script in ren'py and that takes a very long time. Really need some concept art so people can get a feel for the characters. Below is a writing sample from the pre-alpha. Can you guess which character it is?
Attachments
screenshot0003.png
Last edited by Fluxx on Sun May 03, 2015 9:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#6 Post by Fluxx » Sun May 03, 2015 9:05 am

Update #2
It's been a while since I've last posted. Still working on writing script for small demo, little behind though. Concept art for the mc and heroines in casual clothing have been added. Magnificent's color scheme will probably be changed, having a bit of trouble figuring out the best colors(Any suggestions?)

I've been thinking of adding a class system and rank for each important character.
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#7 Post by Fluxx » Mon May 11, 2015 9:15 am

Update #3
Finished Character classes and ranks. It was heavily inspired *cough* stolen *cough* by FSN.
May trim the fat off this a little bit. Not sure many people would like to read all of this.

Character Classes

-Blaster/Ranger (Lasers-energy/Vapor blasts or projectiles, far combat)
-Powerhouse(Tank, power, speed and endurance)
-Tactician(Battle Intelligence)
-Infiltrator (Stealth)
-Warrior (Well-rounded fighter)
-Mentalist (Psychic or Mentally Intelligent)
-Rouge(Speedsters or stealthy warriors/scrappers)
-Mage(External Vapor to control elements)
-Elemental(Internal Vapor to control elements)
-Gadgeteer(Building technology for battle)


Ranks & Stats
From strongest to weakest
EX,SS,S,A,B,C,D,E,F
*EX = Unquantifiable
*SSS = 300
*SS = 200
*S = 150
*A = 100
*B = 90
*C = 80
*D = 70
*E = 60
*F = 50/0

Parameter Rules:
-9 Main ranks, 6 normal, 3 special.
-EX rank is unquantifiable and in a league of its own, powerful to the extent of rendering comparisons meaningless.
-2 different modifiers that can be applied to ranks, + and -
-For every plus there is a 10 point increase.
+(10), ++(20), +++(30), ++++(40)
- minus modifier indicates a rank which has a number that is not reliably
stable, technically qualifying for that rank, but not quite reaching the rank in terms of
power or ability and possibly being even closer to the next rank down
-Parameter can have up to four plus modifiers, can only have one minus modifier.


Stats: Each has a parameter.

-Attack (How much regular attack power one has)
-Agility (Quickness and speed of one's reaction or reflexes)
-Endurance (Stamina, how long one can maintain exertion)
-Vapor/Ki/Spirit (How much Internal Vapor one holds)
-Magic Affinity/Potential (How much External Vapor one can absorb or manipulate)
-Luck (Quality of one's luck)
-Defense (How much damage or punishment one can take)
-Wisdom( How wise and intelligent one is)

Overall Rank- Character rank decided by overall abilities and parameters. (Can be EX to F)
-Average humans would be F rank
Class Skills- Skills delegated to each class, everyone of a certain class usually has these skills.(1-2 only)
Personal Skills- Skills delegated to one particular person.
Ultimate Technique - A Character's strongest personal skill. A personal skill that is rank S or above automatically gets this title.
Alignments: Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, Chaotic Neutral Lawful,Evil Neutral Evil,Chaotic Evil


Average Parameters:
Parameters of certain classes based off averages noted by University. Characters may have higher or lower stats depending on their personal situation and experiences.


Image
Last edited by Fluxx on Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:42 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#8 Post by Fluxx » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:50 pm

Update #4
Revamping the thread a little bit. Finished a small prototype of the game a while back but it won't be posted since a lot of things need to be reworked. I've decided to add something similar to Class Skills for each class as well as elemental alignments and origins- Won't list that information here since I don't want to bore anyone. Have this instead:


Here's the concept design for the character Kazuya:

Image
Last edited by Fluxx on Sat Oct 31, 2015 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#9 Post by Taleweaver » Sat Oct 31, 2015 1:30 pm

Moved to WIP on OP's request.
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman
Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming
Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year
Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#10 Post by mysticichigo » Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:07 pm

This sounds awesome! I love those character designs, too.

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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#11 Post by Baky » Sun Feb 28, 2016 6:58 pm

Does the game sound interesting to you?

Yes! Magical schools, super powers... I just dig that, man. It's the most basic concepts, but i honestly like them the most. I like how you twist the concept to sound fresh and original again.

Which character do you like best so far?

Yoko Yoko Yoko Yoko Yoko- //chants enthusiastically
Really like her. Will probably cry for her. Will probably enjoy crying too.

For a crowdfunding campaign, what sort of rewards would you like?

I'd like a tier that would allow to get a free copy of the game (since that the one I usually pick). Cant wait to see more! keep up the good work! bookmarking for future stalking... <3
♡I write things for fun.♡

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Re: Magnificent//Omniversal Love[BxG][Fantasy|Sci-Fi|Superhe

#12 Post by Fluxx » Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:35 pm

Update 5#
Yes, we are still alive. Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy with a lot of things for the last few months. I'm ready to get back into this with full force. I've updated some of our main characters (Robyn and Yoko) with superhero names and aliases. The concept known as ki has been changed to vapor. It's the same thing, vapor is just considered the official name. Superpowers are also officially referred to as oddities, however oddity and power is often used interchangeably.

I've also started to write a web novel that exists in the same universe as this story. I'll post the link later and add it to my signature after I have some time to review it.

mysticichigo wrote:This sounds awesome! I love those character designs, too.
Thank You!
Baky wrote: Yes! Magical schools, super powers... I just dig that, man. It's the most basic concepts, but i honestly like them the most. I like how you twist the concept to sound fresh and original again.
I was inspired by a lot. It was definitely our intention to take some concepts we liked and make them feel new and exciting.

Baky wrote:Yoko Yoko Yoko Yoko Yoko- //chants enthusiastically
Really like her. Will probably cry for her. Will probably enjoy crying too.
Haha, My idea bouncer also likes her a lot. She's his favorite character (Well, besides his own...).

Baky wrote:I'd like a tier that would allow to get a free copy of the game (since that the one I usually pick). Cant wait to see more! keep up the good work! bookmarking for future stalking... <3
Of course, thank you for the support.
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