The (mostly) final plot is thus:
Moriah gets detention for showing up in a fight video where they/she tried to stop her/their friend Asia and another girl from stomping each others face in. Moriah found this punishment outrageous, because all she/they were trying to do was stop the fight. Still, they went to a rainy Saturday detention.
Moriah sees a boy from one of their classes there doing work, seemingly in detention as she/they were. The teacher shows up to watch the two students, but soon leaves to copy papers in the library. The rain outside grows heavy and the skies darken and flash with lightning.
In a flicker, the power goes out and everything is black for a few, long seconds. The lights come back on but the air Moriah breathes in is thick and metallic. There is a latent feeling of uneasiness in the room, but not between the two students, but like the very school itself became hostile of them. Moriah and the boy, Levi, leave to see where the teacher went, and when he would return, but will they return as themselves?
And that's the plot as of now. I feel like this sounds like Corpse Party, with the school setting going on and all, but I wanted to make a visual novel set in high school, because I feel that, since this is my first VN, and since I'm still in high school, it'll make things easier on me to draw ideas from familiar places.
I've changed the story and cut characters from this plot so many times, but I'm going to stick with these two characters to keep things simple:
(forgive me i know the piercings are messed up)
This is Levi Park. He is 17 years old, a junior, and attends Trinity High. Contradictory to his looks that make him seem rebellious, Levi is a calm, aloof boy that spends most of his time studying or doing work for the teachers after school. Under all that dark hair, Levi has a perpetual stoic expression. His friends have nicknamed him "the fake skater boy".
This is our MC, Moriah Garnett. She/They are 16 years old, a sophmore, and attends Trinity High. Moriah is a pretty, fairly popular person in her high school, getting by with average grades and being in orchestra. Cheerful and friendly enough, Moriah gets along with students their age, and is well-liked by their classmates. They can be quick to have a silver tongue, gaining chuckles from classmates, but in turn making the teachers annoyed with them. Moriah is going to be either non-binary or a cisgirl.
Obviously the characters will be fleshed out as the game goes on.
Also I know it's weird that the characters have no clothes on but I will add actual outfits to the final sprites when I think of them. Lol.
I have some questions. Does the plot sound too cliche? Are the characters too bland, generic? This is my first VN, is there any advice/tips that you all could give me? Any feedback in general?
Thank you guys for reading this!!
EDIT 4/22/2015: Moriah has a full body now. Yay.
