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Is it wrong for me to be nervous about posting my idea? I'm not sure, but anyway let me explain it.

Title:
Hellward

Description:
Dying is never much fun, and finding out you are stuck in your dead body you possessed on accident isn't great either. This is the reality the post-apocalyptic historian, Lawrence Wallace, has to deal with. However, he ends up making a deal with a group of demons that will keep him in his state if he will be their servant. An angel also soon comes by to offer her aid only if he can help her with her own peculiar goal that threatens the very existence of Hell. But how can he even focus on his history book and this angel's odd goal when he doesn't even know how he's going to survive in this wild new world and where fate will lead him next?

Characters (So Far): *= Characters who do not have a full profile yet
~= Characters with a halfway done profile.

Protagonists:
[Dead Human] Lawrence Wallace {Male} (Main Character)
[Demon/Hellward] Lusi Luzine {Female} (Main Female Lead)
[Demon/Hellward] Pirth Mard {Male} (Major Character)
[Demon/Hellward] Slock Apple {Male} (Major Character)
[Demon/Hellward] Gresla Smith {Female} (Major Character)
[Demon/Hellward] Warren Silver {Male} (Major Character)*
[Demon/Hellward] Envox Cryon {Male} (Major Character)*
[Demon/Hellward] Uya Foodin {Female} (Major Character)~
[Ghost] Remmi Outlock {Female} (Minor Character)*
[Witch Prince] Xan Yonov {Male} (Minor Character)* -Son of Worlonsa Yonov-
[Personification of Tsunamis/Earthward] Tsunami {Male} (Minor Character)* -Brother of Flood-
[Personification of Floods/Earthward] Flood {Female} (Minor Character)* -Sister of Tsunami-
[Mother Nature] Gaia {Female} (Minor Character)*

Antagonists:
[Harpy] Piper Twolai {Female} (Minor Character)*
[Witch Queen] Worlonsa Yonov {Female} (Minor Character)* -Mother of Xan Yonov-
[Demon/Hellward] Alamonk Rilen {Male} (Minor Character)*
[Personification Of Thunder/Earthward] Thunder {Female} (Minor Character)* -Sister of Lighting-
[Personification Of Lightning/Earthward] Lightning {Male} (Minor Character)* -Brother of Thunder-

Misc (This is for characters that can be perceived as an antagonist or protagonist depending on the player):
[Angel/Heavenward] Annie {Female} (Major Character)*

Pictures:

Lawrence Wallace

Example of background art.
Other Pictures here
I only did this because I kept getting errors and the only pictures I could get to work in this post were those two above. (This is my first post on this forum).

Plans:
-Short Animated cut-scenes (I won't include voice acting, just because it will be hard to get people to voice act for free, and I want the players to imagine what they think the characters' voices are).
-Plenty of CGs.
-A simple battle-system (there will be no leveling up or any other RPG mechanics since it is unnecessary for the plot of the story).
-Puzzles
-Different routes
-A friendship system (You can get the potential for character endings if you max out your relationship with a character).
-A talking system where you can chat with other characters and gain friendship points during specified times in the story.
-A Gossip system where during the time the talking system is in play you can repeat things other characters said and say it to another. (This can negatively effect some characters but get you more friendship points with others. The things you can gossip about will be colored).

Other Important Stuff:
-I will be working on this project alone. That means I'm doing all the art, coding, music, ect.
-This game will be free (And yes I know it's common for people to abandon freeware projects, but I'm very passionate about this story and I really just want to share it with others in a more interactive way).

If you have suggestions or criticism I would love to hear them! Also can you answer these questions below please?
1. Do you think my story is ok, and do you think there are ways I can improve it?
2. Are my characters ok?
3. Should I remove anything?

It is not 'wrong' to post your idea, especially since you want suggestions.
Your project looks very ambitious. Is this your first project?
I suggest you reduce the number of main characters and also reduce the plans. Since you said the battle system is unnecessary for the plot of the story, I'd recommend you delete that part of your plan. Likewise, instead of having a friendship, talking and gossip systems, I'd recommend you reduce it to one.
If you absolutely can't reduce the scope of your project, you may want to consider getting some folks to help you. In that case, I'd recommend completing a short demo version to show potential collaborators how serious you are about completing your project.

I see what you are getting at Fleet. I'm not so sure about the battle system myself; I only included it because I thought the game play would be way too limited, I know that's how VNs are, but I feel like it would turn off a lot of people. I may remove that now that you mention it. The talking systems can be reduced down as well (They were added to enhance the game play more as well). The only thing I can't really change is the amount of major characters. I've already gotten my plot written down and all of the main characters are important to the story. (I mean a lot of them get killed off in the story, so the number gets reduced there).

I'm nervous about getting people to help me however. I may consider it since I'm not that good at music at all. A composer may be needed, but not a lot work for free.

This also is indeed is my first project, but I've played around in Ren'Py a lot experimenting with the ideas I want.


Thank you so much for the suggestions though! They were helpful.

You're welcome. A LOT of first-time projects get started and then dropped because the scope is too big. I hate to see that happen.
Please keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with using royalty free music from sites like http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/.

Don't be nervous about asking for help. Folks here are very friendly, and they will help you. Just remember that not everyone will like your ideas or want to read your visual novel.

I hope you have fun making your story.