Astral Project [Medieval Fantasy]

[Devilzk]

.................

[MoonByte]

First of all:
Love the sketches, they really give a clear sense of the character's personalities!
Second:
That sounds like a very big project, hope you manage that (or find reliable team members to get through that)

About your questions:
How do you feel about the protagonist, is the character someone you would enjoy playing as? If not, why not, or what would you prefer?
It depends on how it is executed. If he is actually amusing enough in his cocky behaviour, then yes, I would definitely enjoy it. From what I read, he sounds a bit like Ruffy from One Piece minus the Helping-Syndrom and I can certainly live with that.
Just try to avoid seriously offending anyone, that's a big base breaker, and then you should be fine. Don't make him too comical though, it would be a pity for him to feel more like a sidekick than a protagonist.

Do you like the idea of a story like this? Does anything have you going "meh"?
Well, so far it isn't exactly clear what the story is? xD
But it sounds like something that would evolve into a Final Fantasy/Grandia/Breath of Fire like epic (starting small, then something happens and it becomes bigger and bigger). And I am definitely a fan of stories like that, if they are well-executed. And fantasy is always up my alley, especially when the creator makes use of it being fantasy and decides to experiment and go a bit crazy instead of turning it into a "Earth, but a bit different".

Would you prefer the text-box include a side image of the protagonist with a variety of expressions, or just a text-box on it's own? Why?
I can go with either?
From commercial games, I am usually used that the protagonist is visible like all other characters, standing on the screen with his full body visible. From free games, I am used to the MC being a side image or not visible at all unless in CGs. Probably because the MC of course is seen most often and thus requires a lot of work for emotions, possibly clothes and postures.
But so far, none of these had been a game breaker.
I can say though that - looking at your sketches - it would be a pity to not see Kensik at all, so either full body or side image.

If the protagonist sleeps around, would that bother you?
Meh, depends on whether it fits the character and situation? It would be weird in the middle of a dramatic time (someone died? Hey, lemme go "ask" that prostitute there), but if that character is like that and there isn't a good reason NOT to do it, then why not. I certainly didn't find it an issue in Assassins Creed 2 or God of War that those guys constantly "befriended" the females they encountered.
I don't need it played out in great detail each time though, unless it is officially a hentai game. Also, if there is a love interest (or even something more intense like a girl/boyfriend or wife/husband), I would expect that it is treated accordingly and not just played for laughs.
It always annoys me when it is seen as perfectly legit for guys to sleep around as a "Boys will be boys" kind of thing. Sex is fine, sure, but also for women. And yes, while being single and sleeping around is fine, cheating is not. And I am saying this as a guy, it just is really fucked up that some people make men act in media like frigging animals.
So if you treat it well, I honestly don't care at all. He's a charmer and loves to flirt? Hell, then let him do it to his hearts content

If this story had no game-play elements, for example not even item collection, would you still be interested (if you are already)?
As in it being a KN? I mean, no gameplay means that there wouldn't be any choices either.
Or do you mean, no gameplay OTHER than directing the story by choices?
Honestly, I am not really a KN-type, so that would probably be a no-no for me personally, but I am also not that much of a avid novel reader anymore. Others may disagree with me there, of course.
If it allows me at least to make the flavour text change, then I would still say that it sounds interesting currently.

If the protagonist traveled with more than one character, at what point do you think would be too many?
Ha, my limit is very high. My first narrative game had been Final Fantasy 6 which has a whooping party of 14 party members to manage, all with a story, family and so on. And I still love it to death (and know all of them by name and what they did throughout the story). As long as all characters are treated decently and with equal attention, I see no reason to not just explode in five hundred characters.
Look at webcomics. Girl Genius currently has like - what - about 31 named supportive characters? And I don't even know how many named antagonists underneath the current...five? Big Bad's.
It is more a difficult task on your side to keep the player interested in all of them and make them individuals that the player will bother to like and remember. It's not that much that a player isn't CAPABLE of following a story with a million characters, it's just that if the creator messes up the presentation, then the player will simply not bother.
You think you can deal with a party of nine people? Go for it, if you do it well, then people will like it (and honestly? Those players that go like "Lol, too many characters, don't care!" are not really fit for a big story like what yours seems to turn into anyway).

[Devilzk]

First of all:
Love the sketches, they really give a clear sense of the character's personalities!
Second:
That sounds like a very big project, hope you manage that (or find reliable team members to get through that)

About your questions:

Hey!

Ah - I'm super glad the sketches are showing the type of character they are! I often see characters that just stand there, so I wanted something to show how they'd behave/come across.

You're right - it does sound like a big project! Fortunately I'm able to keep an interest even if I'm slow. I have given this some thought, and I'm not opposed to limiting the areas the player visits and giving them a lot of stuff to do in them as opposed to, you know, 20 cities and 200 characters lol. I think my progress has been so slow because it's just me, in the sense that I don't really talk to anyone or share my project, so I think /any/ feedback on this thread is giving me somewhat of a motivation push, so thank you for taking the time out to reply!

Q1:
Thanks for the insight! Hopefully he'll be amusing, I have a few ideas for witty comebacks to put in somewhere. He's one of those that thinks he's better than anyone else until he actually talks to them, so I'm hoping he won't come across as annoying but more fun. Not every line will be a joke though, that's something I'll definitely try to avoid!

Q2:
Good answer, you're right, haha. I guess when I was writing that I was thinking about the concept of it. Telling a story that is focused on travel, combat and I guess you could call them mini-stories through taking up jobs/tasks. It's definitely something that will probably start small and get bigger as it progresses. There's also a lot of things I'd like to explore with all the different species too, such as the demon girl and her "demonic magic" to name one.

Q3:
Good to know!

My original idea was to have the main character appear as an actual sprite at times as well as having him beside the text box with a range of expressions. I'd likely use some of the sprites expressions and also get a few unique sidebox ones done. I think with the type of character the protagonist is, it would be beneficial to be able to see his face when he's talking - if he was a calm and collected person, you wouldn't /really/ need that. I'm just not sure whether people enjoy having the side image there as I don't see that many VN with them. I know there's plenty out there, it just seems most people go without one.

Q4:
Hahaha, I'm sure he'd actually pull that card out of the bag and annoy you, no but I get what you mean, there's a time and place. I'm just interested if people mind playing as the person who's after the chicks as I notice a lot of people tend to want to romance someone, and I hadn't intended for the protagonist here to settle down with anyone. I did have the idea it would include hentai originally but I tossed that idea aside, it just didn't seem to fit that much with the idea I have going and would probably feel like it's there to just be there. If I had anything nsfw it's probably going to go down the suggestive/general fanservice type of stuff. Still, that's a ways off and I'd rather think about that stuff a lot later on haha.

Q5:
As in being a KN yes. I'm not planning on it to be one, sometimes what you want ends up taking a backseat though, so as long as this thing tells a story I'm fine with it. This type of thing might not be as interesting to someone if it doesn't have some choice/gameplay elements though, as is the case with you. Thanks for the input! I'd hope to be able to get more than story choices in there, such as gold and item collection, which will in turn be able to affect those choices or give new ones. I'd like items to play a part in meeting some of the characters and affect certain story elements, giving it some replay value, but nothing huge.

Q6:
I don't really have a response to this one other than thanks for the input! Having too many characters will be difficult to keep up with on my side definitely. It's nice to know if people have a point where it's too many for them though which is why I asked this!

[blankd]

Echoing the praise for those character sketches, very lively! They have a very "classic" feel.

How do you feel about the protagonist, is the character someone you would enjoy playing as? If not, why not, or what would you prefer?

He's not a bad character but he is a common one where his flaws are "softened" with his exceptions so that they're not really flaws. A way to put this in perspective is at what point does something "not" catch his eye to interfere? And does his want to get into fights coupled with his high luck end up bailing him out so that he doesn't suffer consequences? That's up to the story, but it's very easy to fall into the trap of not really committing to the flaws of your characters.

*He sees helping is a chore but spends time helping someone being bullied. Was it that exceptional of a bullying incident or maybe "helping" isn't so much of a chore.

This applies to the half-demon girl too, her flaw is that she's "needy" and that she can be possessed by demons (thus the harm she causes is not REALLY her fault). Her flaws are also a result of how the world already mistreats her due to prejudice. It may sound harsh, but she honestly seems more defined by her victimhood than her personality traits.

A visual crit/question is: why does she appear to be wearing a very skimpy school uniform? Are you sure you want a character who "acts like a child" to be portrayed in a somewhat sexual manner? Or is this an effect of the demon? If it is the latter, I strongly urge you rethink what you want out of this character.

Regardless, it doesn't have to be a trope-bucking story, so if that is not your aim, that is more than fine, but you may want to think about what you want out of this.

Do you like the idea of a story like this? Does anything have you going "meh"?

There's nothing really stated about the story at this point, but there are some very important questions to ask.
1. Is his "mysterious past" really that interesting?
2. What message or theme do you hope to convey with a setting that deals with racism (also I'm not sure how hybrids are so common when monsters are so heavily affected by prejudice to the point of bans).
2b. Are you sure you want to deal with topics as heavy as slavery and as complex as racism in your narrative?

Would you prefer the text-box include a side image of the protagonist with a variety of expressions, or just a text-box on it's own? Why?

Whichever option shows off more of your art, it's good, capitalize on that.

If the protagonist sleeps around, would that bother you?

It depends strongly on the context of it. If this is a thoughtful part of the character, it doesn't bother me, if it's just an excuse to shove nudity or a gag in, it's not the sleeping around that bothers me, it's the decisions of the author.

If this story had no game-play elements, for example not even item collection, would you still be interested (if you are already)?

It really depends on the story and the characters. I would at least like to see more art from this since again, it is expressive.

If the protagonist traveled with more than one character, at what point do you think would be too many?

Three tends to be the magical number. If there are too many, there can be a lack of focus, if there are too few there can be gaps in perspective or interactions. The key is to make memorable characters rather than any specific amount of them.

[Devilzk]

Echoing the praise for those character sketches, very lively! They have a very "classic" feel.

Hey!

Thanks for giving me some feedback, it is in a very early stage of an idea so there's plenty I can change and reflect upon, so it's really nice to get your thoughts.
Again, super glad the sketches are doing as intended!

He's not a bad character but he is a common one where his flaws are "softened" with his exceptions so that they're not really flaws. A way to put this in perspective is at what point does something "not" catch his eye to interfere? And does his want to get into fights coupled with his high luck end up bailing him out so that he doesn't suffer consequences? That's up to the story, but it's very easy to fall into the trap of not really committing to the flaws of your characters.

*He sees helping is a chore but spends time helping someone being bullied. Was it that exceptional of a bullying incident or maybe "helping" isn't so much of a chore.

Valuable bit of insight, something one making the character might miss. I think in regards to catching his eye, it'll be to do with serious matter rather than common instances. You might not give a damn if someone has lost their wallet, right, not your problem? Barfight? Again, avoid, not really your problem. But you might give a damn if someone is being abused, especially if it looks like a young girl.

When I say being helpful is a chore, it's more typical questy stuff and common courtesy, so he won't be doing that stuff for free unless it's a girl and he thinks it'll benefit him. This stuff is something I'll definitely need to look into and explore.

In regards to his luck, again, this is a good comment. I'd say there will be some instances where luck will just play out and he'll get off lightly, but I also envision there will be quite a few moments where he is in trouble because of luck not playing out, and it's stuff he'll have to get out of with his skills. Like I say, he isn't bad at battle, he's stronger than the average person he's going to meet, but some things will play down to luck, adding to his ego, and that will provide consequences.

Thanks for the warning on falling into that though, I'm going to keep those comments in mind.

This applies to the half-demon girl too, her flaw is that she's "needy" and that she can be possessed by demons (thus the harm she causes is not REALLY her fault). Her flaws are also a result of how the world already mistreats her due to prejudice. It may sound harsh, but she honestly seems more defined by her victimhood than her personality traits.

I think I might have worded stuff a little wrong, or you might have gotten confused. She's not really possessed by demons, she is a demon, but I plan for there to be good and bad demons, just as there might be good and bad angels, it's not strictly a demons are bad and angels are good scenario. In regards to being possessed, I meant the individual she brings back to life is being possessed initially, and it's often a case the demon will win the body brought back to life - this is something I'm hoping to use with the protagonist, but with a slight twist.

I see what you mean about her being defined by her victimhood. In my head the idea is she's friendly and child-like, so she's playful and yes, a little needy at times, but most humans don't appreciate demons, because they're demons, so they have a stereotype attached to them. She doesn't really understand why humans hate her because she doesn't really do anything bad. I'd imagine she's the motivation to do different things for the protagonist, who otherwise wouldn't want to.

Still you raise good points for me to think on.

A visual crit/question is: why does she appear to be wearing a very skimpy school uniform? Are you sure you want a character who "acts like a child" to be portrayed in a somewhat sexual manner? Or is this an effect of the demon? If it is the latter, I strongly urge you rethink what you want out of this character.

The school uniform is something I've wanted to change. She's not really a child, she just acts like one, like some young adults do in the real world. She's small in her height so she does initially look like a little girl. The character design was not originally meant to be for this, so I just stuck with the uniform whilst exploring her personality. At the same time though, I think it gives the impression she's child-like because she wears that. It's not intended to be skimpy looking but if it comes across that way I think it could definitely do with a change.

There's nothing really stated about the story at this point, but there are some very important questions to ask.
1. Is his "mysterious past" really that interesting?
2. What message or theme do you hope to convey with a setting that deals with racism (also I'm not sure how hybrids are so common when monsters are so heavily affected by prejudice to the point of bans).
2b. Are you sure you want to deal with topics as heavy as slavery and as complex as racism in your narrative?

I think I worded the question wrong, as I say in my previous reply haha so sorry about that.

1. Hard to say, exploring his past is just an idea, it could be boring and I'll go with something else. The initial idea I had was that he was from modern-day earth and has appeared in this other world as a child without his memory. What happened on earth for him to get there? What about his parents, were they brought to this world too, but placed elsewhere? Why are there all these species and races in this world? It could be something out of my scope to explore, but it's something I'm going to look at and see if I think it's viable.

2. I'm not sure yet to be honest! Obviously, the idea is that they're not bad just because they're different, so I'll definitely be exploring that to some extent. Not everyone will be prejudiced obviously but I'd imagine a lot will follow the stereotype, "those monsters killed some of our people, they're all bad, we can't let them in our town". The population of this world will have more humans than monsters and such, but they aren't rare. They each have their own lives, think for example those tribes that still live in the jungle away from civilization.

2b. In terms of slavery, I assume you're using the protagonist's example. In this case he's not a slave, he's just treated and living like one. It wouldn't be unheard of for people to get away with shoving these things onto the helpless. I do think slavery is something that will be in this world though, more of an underground thing than something out in the open. Selling monsters and such as slaves might be something to look into. I might not even explore this stuff though, it ultimately depends where I take the story.


I don't have much to say to the rest other than I agree with the answers.
Ultimately thanks for taking the time out to offer your feedback!

[blankd]

Most of these replies are to give you options to think about rather than something you have to do since you said you're still deciding your story.

I think in regards to catching his eye, it'll be to do with serious matter rather than common instances. You might not give a damn if someone has lost their wallet, right, not your problem? Barfight? Again, avoid, not really your problem. But you might give a damn if someone is being abused, especially if it looks like a young girl.

When I say being helpful is a chore, it's more typical questy stuff and common courtesy, so he won't be doing that stuff for free unless it's a girl and he thinks it'll benefit him. This stuff is something I'll definitely need to look into and explore.

In regards to his luck, again, this is a good comment. I'd say there will be some instances where luck will just play out and he'll get off lightly, but I also envision there will be quite a few moments where he is in trouble because of luck not playing out, and it's stuff he'll have to get out of with his skills. Like I say, he isn't bad at battle, he's stronger than the average person he's going to meet, but some things will play down to luck, adding to his ego, and that will provide consequences.

What I'm getting at is to be careful of rephrasing what is a measure of "common sense". Most people don't do what's tedious (finding something you had but lost is always tedious, finding new treasure is exciting).

Most people tend to avoid getting involved in things unless it benefits them or is abhorrent (a person may not try to solve world hunger, but it will be harder for them to withhold food if the one starving in front of them is asking for spare food). People tend to be bystanders when they fear for their own safety or they find their time better spent elsewhere. Moral "Right" vs Material Gain is a classic conflict, it's good because it's universal, it's 'bad' because there is no shortage of these stories.

How he meets her is also a very common setup, it's not bad, but it doesn't hurt to think of a more creative way that they meet. A general rule of thumb to think of is instead of "this happens to a character" approach it as "how did this character get themselves in this situation". The former is a world detail and makes the character the one acted upon, the latter is how to give a character agency.

She's not really possessed by demons, she is a demon, but I plan for there to be good and bad demons, just as there might be good and bad angels, it's not strictly a demons are bad and angels are good scenario. In regards to being possessed, I meant the individual she brings back to life is being possessed initially, and it's often a case the demon will win the body brought back to life - this is something I'm hoping to use with the protagonist, but with a slight twist.

I think I may have had this misconception due to the character sketches where it appears she is possessed. Regardless it's more or less an issue of a character's agency. If she has a "flip switch" to a 180 personality, I strongly recommend against that.

The school uniform is something I've wanted to change. She's not really a child, she just acts like one, like some young adults do in the real world. She's small in her height so she does initially look like a little girl. The character design was not originally meant to be for this, so I just stuck with the uniform whilst exploring her personality. At the same time though, I think it gives the impression she's child-like because she wears that. It's not intended to be skimpy looking but if it comes across that way I think it could definitely do with a change.

That's fine, I do appreciate that you are willing to tweak the design.

1. Hard to say, exploring his past is just an idea, it could be boring and I'll go with something else. The initial idea I had was that he was from modern-day earth and has appeared in this other world as a child without his memory. What happened on earth for him to get there? What about his parents, were they brought to this world too, but placed elsewhere? Why are there all these species and races in this world? It could be something out of my scope to explore, but it's something I'm going to look at and see if I think it's viable.

It doesn't really sound necessary since a child doesn't really have to spend as much time acclimating to a new world since they tend to have less responsibilities and attachment than an adult. Functionally it would be the same as him being an orphan. Sometimes simplicity is the better option.

2. I'm not sure yet to be honest! Obviously, the idea is that they're not bad just because they're different, so I'll definitely be exploring that to some extent. Not everyone will be prejudiced obviously but I'd imagine a lot will follow the stereotype, "those monsters killed some of our people, they're all bad, we can't let them in our town". The population of this world will have more humans than monsters and such, but they aren't rare. They each have their own lives, think for example those tribes that still live in the jungle away from civilization.

Racism and prejudice often comes from systems and reinforcements that benefit some group at the expense of another. It really does depend where you want to go with this story, but these topics are complex and take a skilled hand to explore in a respectful manner. If it's oversimplified you run serious risk of sounding disrespectful. But again, this is your story and it can go in many directions.

2b. In terms of slavery, I assume you're using the protagonist's example. In this case he's not a slave, he's just treated and living like one. It wouldn't be unheard of for people to get away with shoving these things onto the helpless. I do think slavery is something that will be in this world though, more of an underground thing than something out in the open. Selling monsters and such as slaves might be something to look into. I might not even explore this stuff though, it ultimately depends where I take the story.

Er, pardon my confusion, but if he's treated and lives like a slave, isn't he a slave?

Either way, that is indeed another topic that some history can provide insight to and it's a sensitive topic, so best of luck with it if you choose to tackle it.

Anyway, hope that helps, if you have further questions, feel free to ask.

[Devilzk]

Sorry for the delayed reply!

Most of these replies are to give you options to think about rather than something you have to do since you said you're still deciding your story.

Thanks, they certainly help, no matter how early!

What I'm getting at is to be careful of rephrasing what is a measure of "common sense". Most people don't do what's tedious (finding something you had but lost is always tedious, finding new treasure is exciting).

Most people tend to avoid getting involved in things unless it benefits them or is abhorrent (a person may not try to solve world hunger, but it will be harder for them to withhold food if the one starving in front of them is asking for spare food). People tend to be bystanders when they fear for their own safety or they find their time better spent elsewhere. Moral "Right" vs Material Gain is a classic conflict, it's good because it's universal, it's 'bad' because there is no shortage of these stories.

I certainly get what you mean, thank you.

How he meets her is also a very common setup, it's not bad, but it doesn't hurt to think of a more creative way that they meet. A general rule of thumb to think of is instead of "this happens to a character" approach it as "how did this character get themselves in this situation". The former is a world detail and makes the character the one acted upon, the latter is how to give a character agency.

I agree with this too, and I've been reflecting on this. It's a very common setup and I've thought up some ideas to change this up, especially on how they are in the situation they come to be in when we meet them. I wasn't even thinking about this until you made this point, so thank you, it's allowed me to focus on this a bit.

I think I may have had this misconception due to the character sketches where it appears she is possessed. Regardless it's more or less an issue of a character's agency. If she has a "flip switch" to a 180 personality, I strongly recommend against that.

Ah - the sketch was meant to portray her in a sort of powered up state but I can see how it looks to be possessed rather. It's not really a personality switch, more a defensive state!

Er, pardon my confusion, but if he's treated and lives like a slave, isn't he a slave?
Either way, that is indeed another topic that some history can provide insight to and it's a sensitive topic, so best of luck with it if you choose to tackle it

No, you're right, that's my bad - this is why I shouldn't reply late at night before bed. I don't know what I was thinking there.
I'm leaning in a slightly different direction after having a few days to think over some new ideas and themes, so we'll see where that topic goes. I appreciate the warnings.

Anyway, hope that helps, if you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Absolutely. I'll update the thread with some more story driven information when I feel it's more grounded.

[hoihoisoi]

The artwork is great. Overall, if you can pull a good story through with the art you're currently featuring, I think this project has quite a bit of potential.

How do you feel about the protagonist, is the character someone you would enjoy playing as? If not, why not, or what would you prefer?
The main character reminds me of Rance from Sengoku Rance. It's a really fun personality to write about although I'd say many of Rance's actions are questionable at best. This character bio you're outlining is roughly what Rance is like.

Overall, this kind of protagonist I find is fun to play as although there is a need of balance which you'll have to experiment through the project. Too much of an a-hole and he just doesn't become a character you can get attached to or you just disagree with on the most part, too much of a nice guy and he falls kind of flat. So, yes I don't mind playing the protagonist but he has to have that balance to him with the nice guy ratio being slightly higher than the a-hole ratio.

Would you prefer the text-box include a side image of the protagonist with a variety of expressions, or just a text-box on it's own? Why?
I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this. I've played VNs with both kinds of displays and I don't really know what to say. But having a side image helps players to identify the characters easily if there are too many people to keep track off. So if it's just 3 prominent characters, I think you can just go with a text-box, but if its going to have 8 characters in it, the side image of who is talking may help the player to identify who is who better.

If the protagonist sleeps around, would that bother you?
It kinda does bother me a bit. I'd rather the protagonist go for just one person who is the romantic interest in the story. But this is just my opinion on the most part of things.

If this story had no game-play elements, for example not even choice selection, would you still be interested (if you are already)?
It sounds to me like a Kinetic Novel and no it doesn't really bother me for the most part. I would say though that giving some form of choices through the game even if it doesn't change the original story line at all will keep the player more invested into the characters. So I'd still recommend giving choices which doesn't branch the story just to give the player that feel of control.

If the protagonist traveled with more than one character, at what point do you think would be too many?
3 is a great party combination, 5 people is still manageable, my cut off is at 7. That's a bit too many characters to keep track of for me and in terms of character development, unless you have many branching routes to it, most of your characters won't get the proper character development which people would want.

Is there anything you'd like to see done or explored?
Nothing comes to mind at the moment unfortunately.

Is there anything you'd dislike to see done or explored (e.g. something overused, perhaps)?
There are some pretty overused things across the board in terms of plot but they're overused because it works or at least still works, so I don't have a whole list of things I mind. But something to avoid is a plot which is too complex with too many twists and turns (Unless its a mystery/detective plot). A simple wholesome action romance plot with a twist or two at the end is fine. Just try not to go for "I knew you were going to do that so I did this instead!" and then "Hah! Your counter is useless because I knew it was coming so I have a counter to that as well!" unless its for gag or joke reasons then it's fine. But that kind of stuff usually falls flat if it takes itself too seriously.

Would you like the idea of the main protagonist being voice acted? If so, would it bother you if only he has a voice?
Usually in VNs all of the characters other than the protagonist has a voice. So if its just him having a voice, it's kind of going to be a bit awkward IMO. but you can try that for a few lines and see how that works out, who knows, maybe it'll turn out into something rather interesting down the line?

In terms of voice acting however, I like the idea of getting voice acting for a game but understandably, it's not very cheap to implement so even if there is none, it should be fine as well.

Well, that's my two cents on the questions, hope it helps you in one way or another. X) Good luck with the project!

[Devilzk]

Hey there!
Thanks for taking the time to provide some feedback!

How do you feel about the protagonist, is the character someone you would enjoy playing as? If not, why not, or what would you prefer?
The main character reminds me of Rance from Sengoku Rance. It's a really fun personality to write about although I'd say many of Rance's actions are questionable at best. This character bio you're outlining is roughly what Rance is like.

Overall, this kind of protagonist I find is fun to play as although there is a need of balance which you'll have to experiment through the project. Too much of an a-hole and he just doesn't become a character you can get attached to or you just disagree with on the most part, too much of a nice guy and he falls kind of flat. So, yes I don't mind playing the protagonist but he has to have that balance to him with the nice guy ratio being slightly higher than the a-hole ratio.

Now that you mention it, Rance would be a good reference as to what he's like - nailed it! I'm likely to take a somewhat more serious approach to him though, he won't just be a comedy-gag all the way through like what Rance boils down to.

I think when he has to do the "nice guy" tasks, even if he's taking coin for doing them, it should help balance him out a little. Though yeah as you say, too much rude behavior and he won't come across as fun or likable, there needs to be pieces of niceness in there.

If the protagonist sleeps around, would that bother you?
It kinda does bother me a bit. I'd rather the protagonist go for just one person who is the romantic interest in the story. But this is just my opinion on the most part of things.

Interesting! I've been reading up a little, and quite a lot of people like the idea of the protagonist going for one person, or at least a route to one person. This is why I asked this question, to see if people might be bothered enough that it could be considered a deal breaker. I know you can't satisfy everyone though.

If this story had no game-play elements, for example not even choice selection, would you still be interested (if you are already)?
It sounds to me like a Kinetic Novel and no it doesn't really bother me for the most part. I would say though that giving some form of choices through the game even if it doesn't change the original story line at all will keep the player more invested into the characters. So I'd still recommend giving choices which doesn't branch the story just to give the player that feel of control.

Oh definitely you're right about the choice selection, even if it doesn't really make an impact - it get's the player involved, and in their head it's progressed the story based on their choice, essentially allowing them to feel involved in the story.

Is there anything you'd dislike to see done or explored (e.g. something overused, perhaps)?
There are some pretty overused things across the board in terms of plot but they're overused because it works or at least still works, so I don't have a whole list of things I mind. But something to avoid is a plot which is too complex with too many twists and turns (Unless its a mystery/detective plot). A simple wholesome action romance plot with a twist or two at the end is fine. Just try not to go for "I knew you were going to do that so I did this instead!" and then "Hah! Your counter is useless because I knew it was coming so I have a counter to that as well!" unless its for gag or joke reasons then it's fine. But that kind of stuff usually falls flat if it takes itself too seriously.

Definitely, there will always be overused tropes in even the best of plots. The twists and turns is something I'll definitely need to limit for myself haha, there's a few ideas I want to throw in that could end up convoluted as well, I'm just going to have to balance that stuff, or scrap them.

Would you like the idea of the main protagonist being voice acted? If so, would it bother you if only he has a voice?
Usually in VNs all of the characters other than the protagonist has a voice. So if its just him having a voice, it's kind of going to be a bit awkward IMO. but you can try that for a few lines and see how that works out, who knows, maybe it'll turn out into something rather interesting down the line?

In terms of voice acting however, I like the idea of getting voice acting for a game but understandably, it's not very cheap to implement so even if there is none, it should be fine as well.

You are right, it might be awkward and/or jarring. Personally I haven't played a VN with only the protagonist voiced, though I have played some with characters that only had partial voice acted scenes. This is why I'd like feedback on this. I have a few voices in mind for the protagonist that might compliment his personality, giving his dialogue a little more flair, but it's still under consideration.

You're right about it not being cheap though, and it's rather hard to find a cast that go well together with quality audio to boot.

Well, that's my two cents on the questions, hope it helps you in one way or another. X) Good luck with the project!

It has definitely helped, thank you very much!


Just a quick update for anyone who might be following this, I'm currently exploring Kensik's outfit and possibly Lilitia's afterwards. Hoping to get some ideas on how he fights down too.
I'll probably post up some stuff when I have it and ask for opinions.

My progress is just going to be slow-going at this early stage due to my schedule, but it's always ongoing.