Hello! After The 7sin Contract, this will be my second ever project. I have decided that I will make all my projects short-term (it will take no longer than a year unless people find no interest in my project), but with a distinguished plot as well. This idea of a visual novel came to me while I was dreaming. Since I was awoken so suddenly from my dream, I can still remember the vivid images in my mind and what has happened in the dream. So, this visual novel is basically a retelling of my dream. As always, feedback is always appreciated!
setting/synopsis.
setting.
Although set in America, names and some traditions may still remain Japanese. Along with Earth, there is another world; what humans would call the "Heavens", but the gods who live there call it Tokoyo no Kuni. There are gods and spirits residing there; gods have a higher rank than spirits. Because of this, spirits declared war on the gods. However, the gods were victorious; they found and banished the spirit leaders (the ones who had started the war) down to Earth. The God of Life, Death, Sun, Moon and Justice are the strongest and make up the "Noble Council". Selectable romances are the spirit leaders.
synopsis.
After the war between rebelling spirits and the gods, the rebel leaders were banished to Earth by the Noble Council. Still driven by madness, the spirits wreaked havoc on Earth. The humans then asked the Fukui family to exorcise them, so they send their youngest daughter, Chou so that she can face the final part of her coming-of-age trial: completing an exorcism mission. However, after a failed attempt, she is taken into custody by the spirits, and they say Chou has 10 days to exorcise them, or otherwise they will destroy Earth. While desperately trying to stop the spirits, she finds herself—...
main characters.
Chou Fukui. Bearing a quiet and somewhat enigmatic personality, Chou is normally hard to read, even to her closest friends. She takes everything seriously; she is a no nonsense person, so she always thinks before she speaks.
Hiroaki. Despite the fact that he's been exiled to Earth, he carries endless energy. There's not a time where he is not smiling. He is a bit clumsy, especially when it comes to romance; he considers everyone a "friend". Is this really all there is to him though?
Kioshi. He is the epitome of cold, callous, and blunt. No matter how dire a situation may get, his expression never seems to change. Usually, he doesn't know how to express his feelings very well, so he often ends up hurting the feelings of others as a result, but that's never his true intention.
Kano. He is like the "older brother" of the group: he makes sure everybody is in control, and he has a kind and mature smile on his face nearly every day. However, due to a past experience, he has a much darker and twisted side to him; one that strikes fear even to Chou.
Kyo. With a flick of his fingers, he could brew up the worst of storms and calamities. He is a bit rough around the edges, but all his actions are completely genuine. He likes to tease and sometimes insult Chou, but he would be the first to run to her rescue.
More to come...
system.
- A prologue.
- Day 1 will serve as the "common path" (which will determine whose path the player goes on).
- There are 10 days total.
- The 10th day will branch out to a certain ending depending on the choices the player made during the last 9 days.
feedback questions.
1. What do you think of the storyline thus far?
2. Assuming this is distributed commercially (which it will not be), how much would you want as a demo, and how much would you be willing to pay for the rest of the story?
3. Which character would you go for first? Is there any specific reason?
4. Do you have any other questions, comments, or advice?
Last edited by kibou-desuka on Thu Aug 25, 2016 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Big or small, I am always looking for feedback from the visual novel community. So, if you have some time, please take some time to answer the questions to help me decide on improvements to make.
Also, another character is coming soon!: Another romanceable character: he is an earth spirit. He will serve as an "alternate" path should you make the right choices in the game. More information, such as the name, personality, and others will be added on at a later date.
1. Storyline:
From the short synopsis, I think themes potential here. I'm curious how the different factions and the whole exorcism thing will play in to the romance bits.
2.Demo:
Personally, I'd be fine with the first day/common route so I could get to know the characters and setting a bit better.
3.Favorite character:
Hiroki since he sounds the most fun of the group.
4.Other:
I'm not complaining, but I'm curious why you went with Japanese names and traditions if its based in America
Either way, I look forwayrd to seeing where you go with this
dueceladouce wrote:
1. Storyline:
From the short synopsis, I think themes potential here. I'm curious how the different factions and the whole exorcism thing will play in to the romance bits.
2.Demo:
Personally, I'd be fine with the first day/common route so I could get to know the characters and setting a bit better.
3.Favorite character:
Hiroki since he sounds the most fun of the group.
4.Other:
I'm not complaining, but I'm curious why you went with Japanese names and traditions if its based in America
Either way, I look forwayrd to seeing where you go with this
Thank you for your feedback. I take all of what you say to heart and will keep what you say in mind. This game will not come out for a while, as I would like to focus on my first project, The 7sin Contract. I am glad you are curious, so I hope you will keep an eye out for this game when it may come to production. To be honest, I still don't have all the system of exorcism planned out. I also love Hiroaki as well; I hope you will enjoy his path once the game is published.
I like to incorporate more than one culture into the games I make; I think it will add a bit more "spice", per se. I still haven't figured out much about how I am going to incorporate both cultures clearly, but I will make sure to think about it. Once I open a recruitment post, I will have a position for a co-writer open so that we can brainstorm together.
Once again, thank you for taking some time to give some feedback!
That's an interesting take on the culture thing, making me all the more curious. Good luck on your current project, (I gave it a quick look through and was pretty pleased) and I hope it goes well for you. If you ever want somebody to bounce ideas off of I'd be more than happy to help
dueceladouce wrote:
That's an interesting take on the culture thing, making me all the more curious. Good luck on your current project, (I gave it a quick look through and was pretty pleased) and I hope it goes well for you. If you ever want somebody to bounce ideas off of I'd be more than happy to help
I am happy that your curiosity is piqued, and thank you for the compliment on The 7sin Contract! I'm sure it will motivate and drive me and the other contributors to finish the game; I'm sure it will go well, because I just need a CG artist, and possibly some voice actors before I can make this game into a reality. I already have a co-writer for that project, but once this project is in production, I will keep you in the back of my mind as I am accepting applications!
setting.
Chou Fukui.
Hiroaki.
Kioshi.
Kano.
Kyo.
