FINDING PARADISE [GxB, OTOME][SCHOOL LIFE]

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MioSegami
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FINDING PARADISE [GxB, OTOME][SCHOOL LIFE]

#1 Post by MioSegami » Wed Oct 05, 2016 3:44 pm

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Plot:
Anamari's parents died from a train crash when she was nine and moved in with her grandparents. Battling depression, her grandparents introduced Anamari to her parents' best friend who is a therapist agrees for her to come and live with him as a client. Living with them for the rest of her years she had grown close to their only son Collen. Years passed and Collen and Anamari now live together as her legal guardian. With her unrequited love to her long time crush Collen, who now has a fiance battles her emotions of unrequited love gets sent again to study abroad, but this time to a mysterious island bought by a shady blonde headed freak. This mysterious island is surrounded by cute boys, can she let go of this unrequited love hers? Or will she continue to carry past hurts and realize nothing has ever changed? While Anamari uncovers the secrets held in this lonely island; she is forced to face her emotions once and for all.
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CHARACTERS

Anamari (Protagonist)
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-17 kiddo who suffers unrequited love



JACKSON
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-32 YEARS OLD FREAKY BLONDE WHO HAS 2 KIDS AND A WIFE.
Quote: "Hey it's me Jackie!"

MARIUM
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-24 YEARS OLD SELF CAUTIOUS FIANCE OF COLLEN
Quote: "You're no babysitter!"

OBTAINABLES


COLLEN
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-23 Has a fiance, however, grows complicated feelings.
Quote: "I just want you to have the Best."


SAGA
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-21 YEARS OLD WHO KEEPS THE BLACK IN STYLE.
Quote: "Hey Midget."

JAYDEN
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-17 YEARS OLD WHO'S GONE REBELLIOUS
Quote: "It's none of your business."

CALVIN
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-18 YEARS OLD "WHITE GHOST" THAT WONDERS THE BUILDING OF CROTOS BOARDING HOUSE.
Quote: "I guess being kind is being rude."

VINCENT
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-17 YEARS OLD BABY FACED WITH A SHORT TEMPER.
Quote: "I'm not good with Sorries."

FONG
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-17 YEARS WHO HATES SOCIALIZING
Quote: "Huh? Oh."
Please feel free to pose any questions about this Otome VN!

Constructive criticism is very welcomed!

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
***I am curious what do you think of the plot so far and the characters?***
***Who is the character you're most interested and will try for?***
***If it doesn't sound interesting what does it lack? So I can further improve.***


Extra information:

* 6 obtainable characters.
* 12 endings total (approx- maybe more or less depending on the finished outline).
* 1 good ending and 1 bad ending.
* CGs.
* Fong's route has to be unlocked through Saga's route!
* The story takes place approx. 9 months, each month will have important dates so you won't be playing for exactly 30 or 31 days.
Last edited by MioSegami on Sat Oct 08, 2016 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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CLICK IT------------->viewtopic.php?f=43&t=40639&p=430149#p430149
Projects: PATUKA PRIVATE ISLAND
Story: 15% complete
Script: 0%
Art: 35%
Outline: 15%
Code: 10%

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PuffBun
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Deviantart: kasey-puff
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Re: FINDING PARADISE [GxB, OTOME][SCHOOL LIFE]

#2 Post by PuffBun » Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:45 pm

***I am curious what do you think of the plot so far and the characters?***
They seem very interesting! I like the drawing above with the adorable chibis :D
An unrequited love, huh? They are so hard to play for me...So frustrating... (it hurts my heart :( ). What is Jackson's purpose in the story? :?: (Is he like that weird-neighbor character or maybe the weird Uncle?)
I really love the character design! They seem like such interesting characters! From the brief descriptions provided I feel like the characters looks match them really well! I'm really impressed!!
***Who is the character you're most interested and will try for?***
Definitely Vincent! :shock:
***If it doesn't sound interesting what does it lack? So I can further improve.***
It seems a bit counter-intuitive to me to have the main character already in love with someone else. :| Grrr For me as a player I'd want the choice instead of being told. Anyways!, these are just my personal nit-picks, I think you could make something very enjoyable!
~ Sorry, it's so long! I saw no one had replied yet and I wanted to be very thorough.

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MioSegami
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Posts: 189
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:40 pm
Projects: PATUKA PRIVATE PARADISE
Organization: BlueAngelService
Contact:

Re: FINDING PARADISE [GxB, OTOME][SCHOOL LIFE]

#3 Post by MioSegami » Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:31 am

PuffBun wrote:***I am curious what do you think of the plot so far and the characters?***
They seem very interesting! I like the drawing above with the adorable chibis :D
An unrequited love, huh? They are so hard to play for me...So frustrating... (it hurts my heart :( ). What is Jackson's purpose in the story? :?: (Is he like that weird-neighbor character or maybe the weird Uncle?)
I really love the character design! They seem like such interesting characters! From the brief descriptions provided I feel like the characters looks match them really well! I'm really impressed!!
***Who is the character you're most interested and will try for?***
Definitely Vincent! :shock:
***If it doesn't sound interesting what does it lack? So I can further improve.***
It seems a bit counter-intuitive to me to have the main character already in love with someone else. :| Grrr For me as a player I'd want the choice instead of being told. Anyways!, these are just my personal nit-picks, I think you could make something very enjoyable!
~ Sorry, it's so long! I saw no one had replied yet and I wanted to be very thorough.

Thank you for the interest in my game! It is in the early stages of making, and I have scrapped off the first script, but the characters are still there :) Jackson I will elaborate more once I am done with their profiles, but he is the brother in law of Jayden, so Jackson gets more spotlight in Jayden's route. He is a lot to do with the island and the secrets that lie in there ;) I really enjoy Jackson's character, he is a bit corny and wacky.

Vincent has to be one of my favorite as well! He's so cute haha, I'm glad he has someone interested in him! (He feels happy now since my siblings routed for Collen haha). I have originally planned Anamari to have feelings for Collen, but I have been thinking about making her confused whether she likes him or not. If not, I would probably need to scrap off Collen himself, but my little supporters will be angry haha. Thank you for complimenting my art as well!! <3
Image
CLICK IT------------->viewtopic.php?f=43&t=40639&p=430149#p430149
Projects: PATUKA PRIVATE ISLAND
Story: 15% complete
Script: 0%
Art: 35%
Outline: 15%
Code: 10%

User avatar
PuffBun
Regular
Posts: 35
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2015 5:45 pm
Deviantart: kasey-puff
Contact:

Re: FINDING PARADISE [GxB, OTOME][SCHOOL LIFE]

#4 Post by PuffBun » Fri Oct 07, 2016 8:52 pm

Thank you for the interest in my game! It is in the early stages of making, and I have scrapped off the first script, but the characters are still there :) Jackson I will elaborate more once I am done with their profiles, but he is the brother in law of Jayden, so Jackson gets more spotlight in Jayden's route. He is a lot to do with the island and the secrets that lie in there ;) I really enjoy Jackson's character, he is a bit corny and wacky.

Vincent has to be one of my favorite as well! He's so cute haha, I'm glad he has someone interested in him! (He feels happy now since my siblings routed for Collen haha). I have originally planned Anamari to have feelings for Collen, but I have been thinking about making her confused whether she likes him or not. If not, I would probably need to scrap off Collen himself, but my little supporters will be angry haha. Thank you for complimenting my art as well!! <3
Oooh! :D I'm looking forward to seeing what you can make! Jackson seems like kind of a funny oddball! I can't wait! o^v^o
Yup! Vincent is super cute! I'm definitely going to do his route first!
I see, haha! :lol:
That sounds like quite the pickle. Although I'm not personally fond of the plot revolving around her feelings for Collen :| I think you'll figure something out though! Heh.. Tell your siblings Vincent for the win~!
And the art is great! I love your style! <3

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