Echia Chronicles : Gerhana

[putragonist]

Blurb :
Gerhana is a teen which have a bit extra ordinary life, which he think is not really a special. Like How average he is with his hacking skill, how common his reading and typing speed in front of his monitor, and how he still has something he afraid for. He know he is not something special, and know he still human without super power.

He has two friend which cannot be separated from him. They Nina and Rendy, which are another uncommon persons in the world. One with the ability to steal anything if she want to, and one is a man with invisible mask, the criminal behind the scene. They meet in the past with story which cannot be told, but tighten bond in the progress.

They attend the same school, which has another uncommon story. Like every school has 7 mystery in school, it has too, unless it's kinda official. There's a building which has tight guard, and no one ever seen anyone walk in or out from that building. Manny gossip told from 'they doing some kind experiment in there' to 'they keep an alien in there', but no one ever know what the truth inside it.

But then the story start, when Gerhana look at his shoe locker and get an invitation to visit that building. Then it gives warning, if he accept, he probably cannot go back to outside world, but if he reject, he probably will be killed.

Who is gonna kill Gerhana? What are the reason for him to be killed?

Unravel the mystery about Gerhana past and the truth behind it. Unlock all the memories that been lie all along!!

Plot:
A bit extraordinary yet ordinary student try to survive the attack of terrorist with the help of AI called Echia and his friends.

Setting: I still not decided where it is, but the story happen in a scholl located in Indonesia

Gameplay :
Like usual ADV visual novel, where you only click to see the story goes. And with some level design which player can talk to other people if there's no story event (Like persona 3 psp but without the RPG and dungeon feature, or ,like sunrider).

Extra gameplay:
Simple hacking system which player should:
1. try to pass the firewall (If it is turned on) with inject data to packet data, and let the HASH ID doesn't change.
2. Detect antivirus program, and if that there is, combine the data to become a program which antivirus not suspicious with it and can run in administrator privilege without notification.
3. If data protected, do hack which player can choose:
a. Brute force
b. Inverse programming (Player need to use worm and goes in Labyrinth to unlock the code. If all code been unlocked, player can retrieve the data and send it)

Some hacking is not necessary in the main game, but if it is, you can just skip it. Hacking is to unlock some logs and unlock achievement.

Probably will implemented :
1. Message system when your friend can chat with you.

Implementation :
Engine : Unity Engine
Target time : No Deadline
Genre : scientific action adventure, Anime
VN Mechanic : Kinetic VN
Is Commercial : Yes
Target Story Length : 50k word
Target device : Windows
===========================
Game design
Level design : 0%
GamePlay design : 20%
==========================
Feature implemented in Engine :
Implemented story : 1%
Skip text : 0%
Auto text : 0%
Save : 0%
Load : 0%
Quick Save : 0%
Quick Load : 0%
History : 0%
CG Galery : 0%
============================================================================
Feature been canceled :
Dual Translation (Indo-English) : I decided it to be EVN.
Mod : It’s possible, but time consuming (Especially if there's an error and break the structure of program. I need to start all over again).
============================================================================
Draft Story
(Full) Story : 5%
Nina (Past) Story : 80% (It’s 100% but not really sure to put it 100%)
Randy (Past story) : 20%

===========================================================

Full Story
Main Story : 10%
Nina past story : 0%
Randy past story : 0%

=========================

Art Design:
Character Design : 3%
CG ; 0%
Background : 0%

=========================
Protagonist :
Gerhana

Nina


Rendy

a.k.a Misty (Real name not decided)


Echia


Cheri

===========================================
Side Char (Protagonist) :
Super hero group called (HAS).
Jodi (Randy acquaintance)

=============================================

Side Char (Not important Character) :
Student girl
Student boy
Protected student girl
Protected student boy
headmaster
teacher male
teacher female

==========================================
Antagonist :
AIB (Echia’s Enemy, main Villain)
Misty’s brother
=========================================
Side Char (Antagonist) :
Mecha controlled by AIB
=============================================
Mentioned :
Danu (Gerhana’s father)
Nerila (Gerhana’s mother)
Cheri
Dema
Sandy
Romu
Mysty’s mother

Change 1 (21/1/2017):
I decided to make prototype in Unity rather using other software.
Some feature is canceled.

I experimenting a bit with engine.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTZ5czkIsik[/youtube]

staff : Putagonist (Only me).

Problem :
1. I work alone and doesn't have much money. The impact is, it makes the game is very long to make, challenging my consistence, and the quality of the game (Like art and sound) that probably under average.
2. English not my main language (I'm native Indon)
3. It's my first Desktop VN yet I thinking big, like I want to make quality VN. This naivety probably will make Unexpected outcome to be disappointing and takes more long time to finish it (From my own and friend experiences). But I still stubbornly do it. :p
4. My consistency in design is not good enough.

Question :
1. Since the story is pretty short and this is a kinetic novel, I think I probably needed to add extra game play (I already mentioned it above) but it will take more long time to finish. What do you think about it. Is that necessary or is it better without it?
2. What step by step do you prefer for me to make this VN (What progress do you want to see the most)?
3. My English is very bad and I know I often did grammar mistake since it's not my main language (And the structure of word between English and my main language is very different). Is there a good way to tell community about it and let them contribute about mistake I had without spoiling the entire story?
4. And, at last but not least, Other suggestion or anything you have in mind is really appreciated. Thank you

My dev logs :
http://echiadev.wordpress.com/

[gekiganwing]

Welcome to the forum! First, here are two questions:

1. Have you written and finished a story? If you have, about how many words was it?
2. Do you prefer writing stories or coding gameplay?

A few recommendations which I've said elsewhere:

I. If you haven't already finished writing a story, then be careful. I can understand that you want to write a lengthy, intricate visual novel with many characters. You might want to work on your masterpiece now. However, you will probably benefit by making sure that you can create a short, simple visual novel with a few characters. After creating a short VN, you will be more prepared to work on a longer story.

II. Please take some time to read the Why so many unfinished VNs? discussion thread.

III. Ask yourself complex questions such as "What do I want to say to people through this VN?" or "What will keep me motivated as I create this story?" If you still plan to create a lengthy VN, then you need to be prepared. Decide what sort of message you want your VN to have. Think about what will set it apart from other stories. Remember that a visual novel is just one format for telling a story, just like how people tell a variety of stories through animation, comics, theater, prose, and so on.

IV. If you like creating gameplay, then decide how much of your VN will be story, and how much will be an interactive video game. Keep in mind that editing a story and playtesting a game are both challenging tasks.

V. Think about your setting. What do you think about life in Indonesia? How do you want to portray it through your story? Consider how you'll use your VN to show good, bad, and complex aspects of your country.

VI. Finally, you might benefit by writing your story in your native language. After finishing it, then look for a reliable person who can translate it into other languages.

[putragonist]

Welcome to the forum! First, here are two questions:

1. Have you written and finished a story? If you have, about how many words was it?
2. Do you prefer writing stories or coding gameplay?

A few recommendations which I've said elsewhere:

I. If you haven't already finished writing a story, then be careful. I can understand that you want to write a lengthy, intricate visual novel with many characters. You might want to work on your masterpiece now. However, you will probably benefit by making sure that you can create a short, simple visual novel with a few characters. After creating a short VN, you will be more prepared to work on a longer story.

II. Please take some time to read the Why so many unfinished VNs? discussion thread.

III. Ask yourself complex questions such as "What do I want to say to people through this VN?" or "What will keep me motivated as I create this story?" If you still plan to create a lengthy VN, then you need to be prepared. Decide what sort of message you want your VN to have. Think about what will set it apart from other stories. Remember that a visual novel is just one format for telling a story, just like how people tell a variety of stories through animation, comics, theater, prose, and so on.

IV. If you like creating gameplay, then decide how much of your VN will be story, and how much will be an interactive video game. Keep in mind that editing a story and playtesting a game are both challenging tasks.

V. Think about your setting. What do you think about life in Indonesia? How do you want to portray it through your story? Consider how you'll use your VN to show good, bad, and complex aspects of your country.

VI. Finally, you might benefit by writing your story in your native language. After finishing it, then look for a reliable person who can translate it into other languages.

Hello, thank you for your reply.
First, let me answer your question :
1. unfortunately The story still not finished, and the only thing I'd done was story for demo (demo around 10k word. Finished about 20k word. So it's about 30k words more). For the drafts, it's still less from a half.
2. Since it's my own project and the first idea is story rather than gameplay, I actually prefer writing a story. The gameplay is only to make the VN a bit longer to be completed 100% by player. I try to make the gameplay blend with the story so it's still relevant and not seem to be forced.

and for the responses of your suggestions:
1. Yes, I understand about that. The unfinished story will have a high chance get failed to finished since we doesn't know how much more it will end, and if the writer is perfectionist, it will never end. I already had created some VN before for android, but I already take it off from market, since no one was play (It's hurting my portfolio and the back up file is gone so I cannot improve it). So, creating another VN that longer than before is actually very stupid of me. Yet, I take the risk. For characters, I already pushed it to low as possible (6 chars for character have expression exclude MC. The other chars probably only shadows). I have target to release the VN on steam, so my target is 50K word so the game last for 3 hours. I think it's the shortest time recommended for visual novel and I don''t have plan to make it longer than that. I don't have a deadline, so the most problem for me is my own consistency (I plan it for 4 years development). Have a gameplay is actually have it's own merit, since I can change pace in a while in something relevant for the games when I tired to thinking about the story. I hope I will never give up about it tho'.

2. Thanks for the link. After reading it, It help me learn a lot. As a game developer, I know that creating a game and VN is need quite hard work, and without enough consistency it will never finished. I actually have some experiences about how hard to make a personal game (Not VN) before, and get so many failure in creating it (especially game jam). That's why I still in learn step to make a good game. Wish me luck.

3,4,5. Thanks for suggestion, I will keep that in mind.

6. This actually is one of major problem I have since the content of story sometimes a bit changed when you translate from native to English (If I use bilingual it's not a problem), that's why I prefer write it in English by myself (My problem is the grammar tho'). But thank you for the input.

Once again, thank you for your reply, it's help me a lot and I really appreciate it.