Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

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Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#1 Post by FriendlySenpai »

The title eludes me so I just lifted that as a temp from a viral video with a similar theme lol.
Oddly enough, the story came to me when I was playing The Sims 4. I was playing a single father who lived in a shitty apartment with his toddler with only enough money to pay rent and my Twitch viewers decided that his dates were clientele. Somehow, that turned into a visual novel starring a man that is moving on from a traumatic relationship, a baby that has no clue how hard her dad works to keep her fed, and a man that teaches him that there's more to life than work and chores.

Edit: I've been using Daddy Lies for so long that I'm thinking of just using it as the official title.


Plot

When Finn was eighteen, he knew exactly where he was heading in life. He was slated to graduate high school as valedictorian, attend Yale University to study law on a three-fourths scholarship, walk away with a Masters, and become a politician that represented Ohio in the US Senate. It didn't quite line up with his dreams of being a star pianist in the New York Philharmonic, but it was what his father wanted.
It's difficult to do either of those when your father casts you out onto the street for kissing another boy, though. It didn't take long for both of their dreams to crumble away.

Now, at twenty-four, Finn has no vision of his future. All Finn has time to do is work, take care of his daughter, work more, and leave work to go to more work. And, when it isn't enough to keep a roof over Ava's head and food in her belly, he works even further into the night with three glasses of Cabernet in his system and the scent of shame clinging to the sheets.

He can't remember the last time he slept a full eight hours, or ate a proper meal. In the back of his mind he knows that this is no way to live, but he refuses to complain or torment himself with ideas of what could have been. As far as he's concerned, just the fact that he got out of the situation that led to Ava's birth is something to thank his stars for.

It's a story of trauma that Finn keeps hidden away under lock and key. Because the story involves him. The man who hurt him. The man that manipulated and abused him until he had so little self worth that Finn had long since forgotten what it meant to be proud.

So... Finn lies.

Finn lies because he doesn't trust anyone anymore, and because lies protect both him and his daughter.

Until a certain tattooed firefighter makes it his mission to teach Finn what it means to live.

And, maybe, love.



Characters

Finn | 24
A single father with a notorious sweet tooth that works, lives, and breathes for his daughter. Finn is a quiet man that would rather take an extra shift at work than go out socializing, so he doesn't have any real friends to speak of. When he isn't pouring shots of espresso into your americano at the coffee shop during the day, or mixing blue curacao into your cocktail at night, Finn can be found at the library teaching Ava how to pronounce "blueberries."

If you were to ask him, Finn would claim he has no hobbies to waste time on - unless laundry counts. Whenever he gets a moment to breathe, however, he likes to sit down with a book or watch Korean beauty shows.

"I… Have a couple of demons I have yet to shake. I was allowing them to get to me, and that wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry."



Koloa | 33
The point of our story's romance, and the seemingly antithesis to Finn. Koloa's a laid back, cheerful, low maintenance kind of guy that fights fires for a living after spending fifteen years in the USN. At first glance, he's a pretty confident dude with a winning smile that is a passionate supporter of pineapple and barbecue sauce on pizza.

If one takes the time to look beyond the layers of muscle, tattoos, and laughter, they might find a lifetime of quiet insecurities. That tends to happen when you grow up sick.

Thanks to twenty-four hour shifts at the department, Koloa has a fair amount of spare time that he dedicates to working out, watching esports, and contributing to the internet's library of memes.

"Babe, if you're one of those people who don't eat pizza crusts, we're gonna have a problem."



Ava | 20 Months
Just a wee lass, Ava is Finn's twenty-month old baby girl. Her favorite color is yellow, she has trouble pronouncing Rs that come after other consonants, she hates string beans, and dogs scare her to tears.

Ava's hobbies include creating the many pieces of art that adorn their fridge, helping (or trying to help) Finn with household chores, and teaching her teddy how to draw.

"Daddy, teddy's hungry."


Rianne | 25
The manager of the coffee shop where Finn works. Rianne isn't her real name; she unofficially renamed herself after one too many people made fun of her Hindu name. She does what she can to offer advice to Finn when it's needed, and maybe a swift kick to the ass, even if it isn't necessary welcomed.

"It wouldn't be the end of the world if you gave yourself a break every now and then, you know."


Mary | 43
A single mother raising a boy around the same age as Ava. During the week she's a no-nonsense the prosecutor but, on the weekends, Mary likes to spend her time with her son at the park Finn and Ava frequent.

"It seems that Tyler has become afraid of being sucked down the drain in the bathtub... Lovely."



Erica | 54
Owner of Park Lounge, the gay bar where Finn works. Thanks to some shady dealings she's made with a number of franchise owners, she also runs a successful escort service through several hotels in town. Finn honestly doesn't know much else about her, nor does he wish to.

"Your client for the night is a regular that paid double your normal cost, so you best show him a good time."



Progress

Words Written: 80k
Art Ready: 8 backgrounds, 2 characters
Programmed: I don't typically start programming until it's 100% written



Planned

Words: 200k+-
Endings: 4 bad, 1 good, 1 true
Commercial?: Yes
Gameplay: Typical VN style
Routes: Because there is only one love interest with a linear storyline, there is technically only one route. However, as mentioned earlier, there are multiple endings so the way you experience the story can change depending on the choices you make.
Sex?: Yes, but only late in the story and it doesn't take over the story.

Staff

Writer: Yours truly
Character Artist: LynhK
Background Artist: MukangASO
Editor: Lunaterra
GUI/Logo Artist: ds sans
Programming Asst.: naomimyselfandi
Composer: Noyemi K

Currently hiring a number of positions.




So. Questions.
-Would you be interested in a VN about a single dad?

-Do you have any concerns/comments regarding the plot?

-Do you think something that's darker in nature would be received well by the community that's more used to dating sims? Rape, alcoholism, poverty, and prostitution are pretty heavy subjects :/

-Is there too much going on with the two main characters? I worry that they're too convoluted.

-Koloa is born and raised Tongan and another supporting character is Syrian. I don't like when games/shows/movies have an all-white cast, because it feels like the producers are trying to create a world where other races don't exist. And that's just not true, obv. I want to create a diverse cast, but it feels like whenever someone does... It gets attacked for being appropriation. Does anyone have any advice regarding how I should be approaching this, as a super white guy? Of course, I do a TON of research on anything I cover so I don't do a racist when I'm writing, but... Still.



If you have any questions, feel free to drop them below.
I'm looking for a GUI artist and a programmer so if you're interested in jumping on board, you can email me at thefriendlysenpai at gmail dot com .
Last edited by FriendlySenpai on Sun Oct 29, 2017 1:59 pm, edited 9 times in total.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#2 Post by Yunou »

First off, I love the idea of a VN with a theme similar to the Daddy Lies commercial. I've probably watched that video at least 10 times and every. single. time. I cry. I tried watching it without the sound once, and guess what? I still cried. For a Day-Before-Thanksgiving break day, a teacher I was working with played this commercial in each of his four classes (high school) that I was sitting in on to remind kids of the sacrifices their parents make for them and every single time I was trying to hide my tears. Across the room, eye liner was running down so many girl's faces and even some of the boys were caught crying.

Commercial for the unaware:



I watched the first 3 seconds of it just trying to make sure the quality was okay and I could already feel myself tearing up.

Anyway, onto the questions!
Would you be interested in a VN about a single dad?
Yes! Absolutely. I love-love-love stories about single parents.
Do you have any concerns/comments regarding the plot?
The only opinion I have, really, is that I'd personally enjoy it more if Ava was a little bit more of toddler or kindergarten age simply because babies can't talk or react a whole lot. I'd like to see Ava's interactions with Koloa and see her more as a character in the story. I just think that would be cute.
-Do you think something that's darker in nature would be received well by the community that's more used to dating sims? Rape, alcoholism, poverty, and prostitution are pretty heavy subjects :/
I mean, I mostly prefer darker themes in VNs. Most of the content I work on/read is super heavy in nature--themes of abuse, rape, drug use, alcoholism, eating disorders, prostitution, slavery--so I would like something much less light-hearted, especially in a SOL VN.

I love this community, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I have almost considered "selling out" myself to appeal to a wider audience or to be more accepted in an environment that is more critical and hostile to darker themes like slavery or rape, even when it is crucial to my plot. I originally decided to create the story I am working on because I want to tackle these themes inside something with a plot because there isn't enough content out there that deals with this more gritty stuff.

Sometimes I'm afraid to post about it on Twitter or I feel like I should try to censor it more in my work, but I've decided I'm not going it. If it alienates some people because of the content, then that's that. It's not for everyone and I'm not going to try to make someone read something that they are uncomfortable with or upsets them, but I do realise that my audience gets narrowed because of it.
Is there too much going on with the two main characters? I worry that they're too convoluted.
Nope, not at all. They are fine.

I would like to see some art for this idea.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#3 Post by gekiganwing »

FriendlySenpai wrote:Would you be interested in a VN about a single dad?
Yes. As of this writing, there are only forty VNs on the Visual Novel Database with the tag Protagonist with Children (which indicates that they are parents), and less than half have an English version. I think the story topic is worth exploring.
FriendlySenpai wrote:Is there too much going on with the two main characters? I worry that they're too convoluted.
I've worried about questions like this. In other words, I've asked myself, "Is the character that I want to write just a collection of unrelated quirks, hobbies, and beliefs?" I think that the best response is to ask, "Is the character a believable person?" Do they seem real? Does their history make sense? Do you think they're complex enough for the scope of your story?
FriendlySenpai wrote:Do you think something that's darker in nature would be received well by the community that's more used to dating sims? Rape, alcoholism, poverty, and prostitution are pretty heavy subjects...
About a decade ago, I purchased and read almost every computer VN that seemed interesting. That included Three Sisters Story, which had some unsettling scenes of violence, as well as choices which could turn the morally ambiguous protagonist into more of a villain. It also included Chain - The Lost Footprints, which had several disturbing scenes. I had mixed thoughts about both titles, but I'm glad that I read them.

Early this year, Mangagamer had a licensing survey. The list of top twenty titles requested for localization included three which sound mostly downbeat: Black Wolves Saga, Soukou Akki Muramasa, and Room No. 9. From what I've read, the last of these VNs sounds like a rather horrifying BL story.

Is it possible to have a downbeat story as well as statistics-driven simulation elements? I think it can be done. Consider reading the TVTropes article about the untranslated 1990s console game Mitsumete Knight for an example which sounds interesting.

You're selling your VN as a commercial project. Therefore, I believe you'll benefit by conveying to your audience that your story will feature bleak themes. This *can* be a point of difference, and a way to differentiate it from VNs which focus on fluff or humor. Think about how you want to market it. I expect that you want your readers to care about the characters and the challenges they face. Likewise, I expect that you will present the story as a serious drama. Therefore, I don't think you'll benefit by using a slogan similar to "Hey dude, this is no cartoon" (the 1990 TMNT movie poster).

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#4 Post by FriendlySenpai »

Yunou wrote:First off, I love the idea of a VN with a theme similar to the Daddy Lies commercial. I've probably watched that video at least 10 times and every. single. time. I cry. I tried watching it without the sound once, and guess what? I still cried.
UGH I can't deal with that commercial. The first time I saw it, I broke down into a puddle of disaster and it took me an hour to recover. My parents worked so hard for my sister and myself, but I've got some deeply rooted problems that don't allow me to say thank you very easily, so I know that they think I took it for granted and had no idea how much they did. So that video, with the little girl trying to tell her dad that she knew how he was living, was like a goddamn gunshot through the chest.
Yes! Absolutely. I love-love-love stories about single parents.
See, I NEVER see any single parent stories. Like, ever. If I do, it's usually about teen pregnancy centered on the female and/or where the parents help out so it doesn't really feel the same.
The only opinion I have, really, is that I'd personally enjoy it more if Ava was a little bit more of toddler or kindergarten age simply because babies can't talk or react a whole lot. I'd like to see Ava's interactions with Koloa and see her more as a character in the story. I just think that would be cute.
Ava's age is definitely something I've struggled with for that exact reason. She initially was only six to eight months old when I first started writing, but I felt that she was kind of like... An accessory to the story, rather than a real character. So I made her just old enough to communicate with her dad and Koloa through short sentences, and she'll be developing throughout the story as she gets older.
I love this community, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I have almost considered "selling out" myself to appeal to a wider audience or to be more accepted in an environment that is more critical and hostile to darker themes like slavery or rape, even when it is crucial to my plot. I originally decided to create the story I am working on because I want to tackle these themes inside something with a plot because there isn't enough content out there that deals with this more gritty stuff.
I definitely feel you on the feeling pressured to pander to what the majority wants. I love dark stories, and all three of the titles I'm working on have awful themes. One is a fallen hero's tale, another is a transgender man being pushed back into the closet by society, and this one's about recovering from rape and alcohol abuse. Like, shit. Cute is apparently not something I'm capable of.

Feelsbad.jpg
Sometimes I'm afraid to post about it on Twitter.
Ayye gurl, what's your handle?
I would like to see some art for this idea.
I'll be posting art when I make more of an official post :)

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#5 Post by FriendlySenpai »

I've worried about questions like this. In other words, I've asked myself, "Is the character that I want to write just a collection of unrelated quirks, hobbies, and beliefs?" I think that the best response is to ask, "Is the character a believable person?" Do they seem real? Does their history make sense? Do you think they're complex enough for the scope of your story?
That's a good way to approach it, thanks :)
Early this year, Mangagamer had a licensing survey. The list of top twenty titles requested for localization included three which sound mostly downbeat: Black Wolves Saga, Soukou Akki Muramasa, and Room No. 9. From what I've read, the last of these VNs sounds like a rather horrifying BL story.
Considering Room No.9 is by Parade, I can definitely see that being unsettling. If you haven't played No, Thank You!!!, it's one of those titles where there's literally no chance for a happy ending. Also... It kind of gives off a watered down Euphoria vibe.
You're selling your VN as a commercial project. Therefore, I believe you'll benefit by conveying to your audience that your story will feature bleak themes.
Oh, def. I was going to make a point of including content warning on the store page. But I'm not going to try to make it seem like it's akin to something like Kara no Shojo - where it's just doom and gloom throughout the entire 50 goddamn hours of gameplay until you walk away with a bitter taste in your mouth.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#6 Post by FriendlySenpai »

Updated original post with a final question I couldn't think of while watching Bob's Burgers.
If I get accused of appropriation I might die.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#7 Post by Yunou »

FriendlySenpai wrote:Updated original post with a final question I couldn't think of while watching Bob's Burgers.
If I get accused of appropriation I might die.
FriendlySenpai wrote:Koloa is born and raised Tongan and another supporting character is Syrian. I don't like when games/shows/movies have an all-white cast, because it feels like the producers are trying to create a world where other races exist. And that's just not true, obv. I want to create a diverse cast, but it feels like whenever someone does... It gets attacked for being appropriation. Does anyone have any advice regarding how I should be approaching this, as a super white guy? Of course, I do a TON of research on anything I cover so I don't do a racist when I'm writing, but... Still.
I honestly am not sure how to do this myself without consulting people from those places directly and asking their input/opinions. The project I'm working on has a diverse cast, although races technically don't exactly exist in the sense that they do now (future, utopian-distopia space colony city) so I don't have any real answer other than that.

Also, I haven't seen a lot of single parent stories, either--at least not in VN format, but I do love them and wish there were more of it. Or parents in general as active characters in stories. I also totally get why you'd choose to have Ava's age the way it is, that makes sense.

And my twitter handle is @junosoul, I followed you!

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#8 Post by FriendlySenpai »

Yunou wrote:I honestly am not sure how to do this myself without consulting people from those places directly and asking their input/opinions.
I've thought about asking people from those specific groups for their input, but their race/culture don't play heavily enough into the story for me to even know what to ask. Rianne, the Syrian character, is just a coworker that only appears a handful of times in the story and it's mostly mentioned in passing. Koloa is obviously a constant presence, but the only time his heritage is brought up is when it's relevant - like on their first date and when Koloa makes a joke about cut dicks. Shit, I spent upwards of fifteen hours trying to educate myself on Tongan culture, and literally only two things played into the story DX
Yunou wrote:Also, I haven't seen a lot of single parent stories, either--at least not in VN format, but I do love them and wish there were more of it. Or parents in general as active characters in stories.
I feel like a lot of writers use children and pregnancy as the sort of epilogue - like the end goal - for romance stories. Like... Children are just accessories to tack on to show how well everything worked out in the end. So they're never put into the story itself :/ Unless it's a situation where a friend to the MC has kids, or something like what I mentioned earlier in another reply where the story is about a female single parent. Which, from what I've gathered, is a completely different experience.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#9 Post by Ghost of Crux »

Can't answer all the questions rn bc it's 2 am and I have a class at 8, but yes please and thank you /////slides money

I love the premise. I love how it is so far. It's going to wreck my soul, but it's the kind of wrecking I'm eager for. This is just wonderful.
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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#10 Post by FriendlySenpai »

Ghost of Crux wrote:Can't answer all the questions rn bc it's 2 am and I have a class at 8, but yes please and thank you /////slides money

I love the premise. I love how it is so far. It's going to wreck my soul, but it's the kind of wrecking I'm eager for. This is just wonderful.
Yay! I'm excited ♥ It's not meant to be terribly wreckriffic. Lots of cute stuff make up for the "I kind of just want to go lay down now" moments.

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#11 Post by FriendlySenpai »

I've updated the team list with Noyemi K as our composer ♥

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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#12 Post by PMscenarios »

FriendlySenpai wrote: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:12 am
I love this community, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I have almost considered "selling out" myself to appeal to a wider audience or to be more accepted in an environment that is more critical and hostile to darker themes like slavery or rape, even when it is crucial to my plot. I originally decided to create the story I am working on because I want to tackle these themes inside something with a plot because there isn't enough content out there that deals with this more gritty stuff.
I definitely feel you on the feeling pressured to pander to what the majority wants. I love dark stories, and all three of the titles I'm working on have awful themes. One is a fallen hero's tale, another is a transgender man being pushed back into the closet by society, and this one's about recovering from rape and alcohol abuse. Like, shit. Cute is apparently not something I'm capable of.

Feelsbad.jpg
Wuh, I wish I'd discovered this thread earlier, since I've been berating myself for the exact same things. My brain can't do anything but dark, even if I start out with something lighthearted or cute I end up with broken characters, dark backstories and heavy subjects. Sigh. I've been struggling so much with my VNs plot that started with a light-hearted, comedic pitch and has ended up being about anxiety.. -.-
Personally I'm drawn to darker stories, and absolutely prefer VNs that do darker elements. Sheesh, Blood of the reprimanded Dog is my fav of the Nitro+ Chiral stories I've played so far, even though it shows its age (and has many, many issues).

As to the questions:
-Would you be interested in a VN about a single dad?
Yes! I love more original and unique topics in VNs, and parents are not that often featured.

-Do you have any concerns/comments regarding the plot?
Most of it sounds really intriguing, the characters seem interesting and I really wanna know more about Finn. The only thing I reacted to was that Finn had a very "perfect" life before falling - valedictorian, talented musician (I assume, unless his dream wasn't realistic at all), Yale.. I understand it's to have his fall be steep, but I find the backstory a bit unrealistic, and not sure it matches the more "down to earth" tone of the rest. But, I'm just judging from small excerpts of a story description.

-Do you think something that's darker in nature would be received well by the community that's more used to dating sims? Rape, alcoholism, poverty, and prostitution are pretty heavy subjects :/
I genuinly don't know. I think there is an audience for this, definitely, otherwise translations of Nitro and similar VNs wouldn't be as popular, but I'm not sure how to find this audience.

-Is there too much going on with the two main characters? I worry that they're too convoluted.
They sound like fleshed-out, three-dimensional characters.. Isn't this purely a good thing?

-Koloa is born and raised Tongan and another supporting character is Syrian. I don't like when games/shows/movies have an all-white cast, because it feels like the producers are trying to create a world where other races don't exist. And that's just not true, obv. I want to create a diverse cast, but it feels like whenever someone does... It gets attacked for being appropriation. Does anyone have any advice regarding how I should be approaching this, as a super white guy? Of course, I do a TON of research on anything I cover so I don't do a racist when I'm writing, but... Still.

I 100% agree with this and try to do the same thing, down to the "obsessively research things that are just small parts of a bigger story". I don't want stories to be "white" anymore.
The easiest "out" is to make POCs that are more assimilated to the place they're living in and therefore just a character in the story, but that's also an issue in itself and erasure of cultural origins.. - There will never be a "right" answer to this question I think, just do what feels most "right" for you.
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Re: Daddy Lies [BxB, 18+, Romance, Slice of Life, Family]

#13 Post by FriendlySenpai »

PMscenarios wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2017 7:57 pmMost of it sounds really intriguing, the characters seem interesting and I really wanna know more about Finn. The only thing I reacted to was that Finn had a very "perfect" life before falling - valedictorian, talented musician (I assume, unless his dream wasn't realistic at all), Yale.. I understand it's to have his fall be steep, but I find the backstory a bit unrealistic, and not sure it matches the more "down to earth" tone of the rest. But, I'm just judging from small excerpts of a story description.
Yeah they were really unrealistic expectations set by his father - it's briefly addressed in the story about how his father was a bit of a nut, and Finn was more or less a dreamer.

PMscenarios wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2017 7:57 pmThe easiest "out" is to make POCs that are more assimilated to the place they're living in and therefore just a character in the story, but that's also an issue in itself and erasure of cultural origins.. - There will never be a "right" answer to this question I think, just do what feels most "right" for you.
Yeah, that's kind of the direction I was going in. Koloa and younger siblings had been in the US for their teenage and adult years, and the Syrian character moved to the States as a young adult. >.> I kinda felt like there was no winning so I just went with what worked best, story wise.

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