Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

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Springroll Games
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Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#1 Post by Springroll Games » Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm

[ Elementine ]

Surrounded by a raging snowstorm after a dragon destroys her village, Isem takes shelter in a ruined castle. There, she meets Kiok, a sweet girl who only has memories of the past month. Their new friendship is the only support they have when a mysterious girl appears in their dreams, a rampaging dragon wreaks havoc, and Kiok slowly overcomes her amnesia.

A story about two girls exploring a castle.

30.12.17: We came up with an idea for a Visual Novel, and although there's not much yet, we wanted to get some feedback, ideas, and hopefully encouragement!

(Questions)
> What captured your attention?
> What would you most like to see next?
> Do you use quick save/load?
> Should we post information about the characters? Do you have any suggestions for other characters?

Thank you for taking interest!

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#2 Post by gekiganwing » Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:35 am

Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
What captured your attention?
What would you most like to see next?
It's surprisingly difficult to find a visual novel which is primarily about friendship. I can think of several examples of VNs which blend this topic with romance, and a handful which have at least one platonic ending, but it's tough to name more than one or two examples in which all the characters just stay friends. That said, if you want your characters to have romantic relationships (with each other, or someone else), that's fine.

I think that "two girls exploring a castle" is a good start for a story. Help the reader get interested in why the place is in ruins. Help them think about what used to be there, and what the characters can find. Establish which places are safe, and which could be dangerous.
Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
Should we post information about the characters? Do you have any suggestions for other characters?
Consider providing some details about who these fictional people are, and what they want to achieve. What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses?

Include only as many characters as you can manage. If this is a short story, then you probably do not need to introduce three characters with their own motivations and histories. Be careful with the scope of your story.

One final suggestion... consider how your VN might end. Think about writing several drafts of your planned ending(s). Then consider how you will build up to them. For instance, if one possible ending is "Isem and Kiok tame the dragon," then ask yourself how your story will logically lead to that conclusion.

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#3 Post by Cindigo » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:28 am

Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
> What captured your attention?
First that caught my attention was Kiok → kioku, which means “memory”, and she has amnesia, nice pun.
Next thing was understanding that there probably isn’t going to be a nice snowstorm particle effect, castle’s interior isn’t going to change due to snow piling up – piles of snow blocking doorways, hiding holes in the floor, you can accidentally fall through and there probably isn’t going to be anything that lets you feel dragons power and rage.
Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
> What would you most like to see next?
The girl from dreams could be a ghost trapped in the castle or there could be some other ghost. Castles and ghosts come hand in hand.

It could be interesting to find different clues about why that dragon is rampaging and how the villagers brought that destruction upon themselves and how that would change Isem’s outlook on the situation and her motivation.
Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
> Do you use quick save/load?
Sometimes I do, sometimes don’t.
Springroll Games wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:51 pm
> Should we post information about the characters? Do you have any suggestions for other characters?
Sure, you should post some information about the characters, but don’t spoil things just to get someone’s attention. At the same time, it makes playing the game pointless to other’s.

You already have enough characters – Isem, Kiok, mysterious girl, dragon, snowstorm, castle, village and there ought to be more, if they are exploring the castle – someone must have lived there, right. Fleshing out just these is already going to be hard enough.
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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#4 Post by Springroll Games » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:50 pm

gekiganwing wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:35 am
It's surprisingly difficult to find a visual novel which is primarily about friendship.
It's super great to know that the focus on friendship got you interested, especially since I thought it might hold it back. We aren't planning on adding any romance as of now, but we'll see where the story takes us :)
gekiganwing wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:35 am
Include only as many characters as you can manage. If this is a short story, then you probably do not need to introduce three characters with their own motivations and histories. Be careful with the scope of your story.
That's a really good point (and probably is often overlooked)! We'll definitely try to keep that in mind.

Thanks so much for all of your answers and suggestions! And you sound like such an expert, oh my gosh! Thank you for taking interest in our visual novel idea.

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#5 Post by Springroll Games » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:53 pm

Cindigo wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:28 am
First that caught my attention was Kiok → kioku, which means “memory”, and she has amnesia, nice pun.
Next thing was understanding that there probably isn’t going to be a nice snowstorm particle effect, castle’s interior isn’t going to change due to snow piling up – piles of snow blocking doorways, hiding holes in the floor, you can accidentally fall through and there probably isn’t going to be anything that lets you feel dragons power and rage.
Wow, you already got the pun! Awesome! Her name comes from 기억 which is basically the same word.
Your first thoughts sound really epic, even if this is a visual novel! But maybe we can still use a couple of those ideas...
Cindigo wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:28 am
It could be interesting to find different clues about why that dragon is rampaging and how the villagers brought that destruction upon themselves and how that would change Isem’s outlook on the situation and her motivation.
Thanks for the feedback, especially this suggestion about the dragon, and the reminder not to spoil too much ahead of time.

Have a good day and thank you again!

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#6 Post by Zelan » Sun Feb 04, 2018 8:02 pm

"Cute" is definitely the right tag for this, I'm smiling already just by reading the description. If you have an artist on board already, I'd like to see concept art of Isem and Kiok. c:

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#7 Post by Springroll Games » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:37 pm

Update - a sketch of the main characters.
Image
We are planning to have 3 main paths with 5 endings! Hopefully this limits the scope a little ^^

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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#8 Post by Nighten » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:24 pm

They are so cute! <3
I really like to see something else than romance and dark stuff, I really hope to see this project completed someday!
3 main path seems not that "little" from my perspective, what length are you thinking of for one playthrough?
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Re: Elementine || Idea • Cute • Fantasy

#9 Post by Springroll Games » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:28 pm

Nighten wrote:
Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:24 pm
They are so cute! <3
I really like to see something else than romance and dark stuff, I really hope to see this project completed someday!
3 main path seems not that "little" from my perspective, what length are you thinking of for one playthrough?
Thank you! ^-^
Definitely, 3 is not "little", but we hope dividing up the main ideas this early on will keep the story from branching unexpectedly, if that makes any sense. It's kind of hard to predict length in word count or hour count at this point, though.

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