Nakakapagpabagabag [GxB/G][Otome, parody, bizarro?, psychological?]

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Awiola
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Nakakapagpabagabag [GxB/G][Otome, parody, bizarro?, psychological?]

#1 Post by Awiola » Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:51 pm

At first I'd like to say I'm sorry for my english [until game release it'll be a way better anyway] and Nakakapagpabagabag won't be filipino [it's not that I don't even know tagalog or so~]. It's just unreasonable liking for strange words and this particular perfectly suits the game idea [means worrisome and is hard to pronounce].

So without further babbling, the plot:
You're just average female student [nameable] who attends typical highschool, does typical things and all this shiet. Your life is peaceful, your parents hate you bla bla bla. It's just so normal you'd like to vomit. Well, yes, you heard weird rumours and have a strange feeling that you've forgotten about something but it's just you and that's how it's supposed to be. Everyone adds -san to your name though you're not even in japan but well, screw it.
............ So, well, something's off and you'd sooner or later notice this. I can't really say more cause it's to be rather unexpected twist. You know Taisho x Alice? No? I as well, but the point here is you expect something, I dunno, very funny and it turns out to be something completely diffrent. Like when Nozaki-kun has played otoge and the most normal character in reality was reincarnated maou or so. Well, expect unexpected, what else can I say.
Ah, and it becomes slightly dark. I think.

Btw, if everyone except heroine will have hands with six fingers it'd be too obvious something's off? As I thought.

Capturable characters introduction, sprites come eventually [what am I doing with my life]:

Heroine-san
A bit of HPD. Just a bit but unfortunately she's not your typical amoeba-heroine. She even has preferences [so capturing certain characters may be a bit harder, for example Megane-kun]: tall guys with low voice or lolis [but no shota] but character is always the most important part. Heroine has a tendency to acting unexpectedly foolish and talking about weird things. A bit nerdy, fails in almost each game and competition. And she likes jumping spiders.

Kabedon prince - Thoth
Her teacher and some kind of childhood friend [kind of cause he's seven years older, so yea]. He acts manly and all but in reality is just a sweetheart. And of course, oh what a surprise, likes to kabedon our beloved heroine. [No, she's not that easy.] Except that he's fine guy who acts slightly childish sometimes. Not in front of normal students but still.

Bro - Gilbert
Great guy, has similar to heroine interests. They became more than acquaintances [but she still don't think 'bout him as a friend] like two years earlier. Heroine still know strangely little about him. But he's great. DPD alert.

Host - Ambrosio
Probably the most popular dude in school. He's smart, athletic, rich, handsome and perfect whatsoever. Lady killer with his own very sad backstory. At this moment heroine thinks he's a jerk cause of not-so-funny event from middle school and yes - his real personality is closer to this.

Megane-kun - Brutus means stupid
Foureyed asshole. He's a jerk, moron, fool, bastard and all these censored in newspapers words. But, well, despite all this he's her type + glasses so she's little defenseless to all his mental attacks and he knows that very well. Manipulator suspiciously good at cold reading. Has illegible handwriting.

Shota-kun - Shota yes, this name exists
Her senpai. Looks like shota, speaks like shota, acts like shota and so on. Obviously it's all facade cause in reality [fanfare please] he's just M. Okay, maybe not just, he has some micro personality beside this and almost perfectly [or it just seems that way?] knows human anatomy for rather obvious reason. Aaand... he's fallen for Yankee-kun but it's still a secret and...

Childhood friend - Toma yes, from this Toma
Maybe not friend per se but childhood certainly. They've been neighbours since kindergarten or so and used to play together, however, as he's grew up he became more distant for some unknown reason. He acts sometimes like typical onii-chan but often is just a kuudere. Hahaha - no. Yandere alert.

Yankee-kun - Wyszebor
Doesn't like his name and prefers to name him Wit even if it clearly is another name, not diminutive. Delinquent, works part time in his family' restaurant. He and heroine knows each other, and Ambrosio, since middle school. Despite his looks he's rather shy, at least when certain person is around... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Doesn't even know Shota-kun.
Tsundere-chan - Kagami
Tsundere-chan, that's all you need to know... She doesn't have twintals and isn't loli. Magical girl, too, sorry, not this tale. Has the Dark SecretTM

Stalker-tan - Mubaraka means blessed
She's alway here for our beloved heroine even if isn't needed at the very moment. Curious about her life, her thought, things, life, her, her house, everything. She's truly dedicated to protect heroine from filthy hands of other people. They just want to broke beloved heroine, but she doesn't let them. She'll be always by her side. Always... She's loli. And is proud of this, cause you know... heroine... loli... So, yeah.

Tomboy-chan - Tomo
Umm... Tomboy-chan? When she was little someone foretold her her destined one would be a girl and she still thinks it's true so she's trying to do whathewer she can to act like normal guy... But she looks like grown woman... And still wants to become Prince CharmingTM She'd attended capoeira lessons with Yankee-kun but resignet quickly.

Moe-chan - Blair
Perhaps ideal partner for Shota-kun. Has twintails, acts like very imouto-ish imouto, likes sweets... A bit clumsy, moe, moe, moe... Moe and moe. But obviously, like everyone in this vn, she's not who you think she is if you don't know what I mean in the first sentence. [Shota-kun...]

NPCs don't exist at this very moment
I know this looks rather poor but, no matter how you look at this, if I reveal too much it won't be surprising anymore. But if someone nice asks...


Side notes:
I'm a fan of Dostoyevsky's and Strugatsky brothers' fiction and want to experiment with narration so not everything would be clear till the end. I mean it'd probably be something between [or I just hope it'd be] Nabokov's style and this used at 'A Gentle Creature' but with a bit eerie atmosphere similar to papers-about-Lev-Abalkin-[and-of-course-Golovans]-which-shows-to-reader-Maxim-Kammerer. Something like that would surely fit a book but if is also good for a visual novel... After all I'm writing in my native language and it'll be translated to english when I find a proofreader and be a way better at translating. It's bizarro so it should be fine but still... Because of this, as you may already expected, despite being an otome it just won't be too ichaicha full of romantic moments et caetera [and it's not that I just want to make a parody but can't write something not related to horror-like]. You're warned.

Planned features:
Insanely long [at least for me since I'm doing this alone :c]
At least two endings for each capturable character + Bakarina-inspired-harem-end + hidden route + fake end + true end. Maybe a bit more, I'm not sure yet.
It'll be free and 1280x720
Probably only Windows [can't check how it'll be working on other platforms]

So there come the questions:
♦ Would anyone be interested in something like this?
♦ Is it too many capturable characters?
♦ Are the characters broken [but still generic] enough? [It's a parody after all.]
♦ Style of writing sounds interestings or would you like more straightforward one?
♦ What would you like to see in this kind of game?
♦ Any other comments?
My english is pretty horrible c: Honest Critique

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Awiola
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Re: Nakakapagpabagabag [GxB/G][Otome, parody, bizarro?, psychological?]

#2 Post by Awiola » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:40 pm

Still no sprites cause my tablet hate me but they'll appear. Eventually. Just as NPCs and concept art and so on...

I've given it some thought and came to think this whole idea sounds, like, insanely [or maybe laughably?] stupid but after a bit more thought realized it doesn't really matter. Why? Obviously it'll be so bad it'll become good {I hope}. It doesn't sound well but I like to be honest.

But! let's get down to business.
As you can see plot doesn't sound interesting at all and is very vague. Mostly due to preventing existence of unintended spoilers and small problems with worldbuilding. Well, embedding story in kinda 'normal school' setting also may have something to do with this. There won't be terrorists, weird magicians or disastrous murder mystery on the very first day of the story and expecting something like this is just unreasonable - especially if we want some magical realism but not fantasy battle royale. Since writing slice of life isn't entirely my thing, at least when I've a bit of a struggle with creation of the world, I think it's fine to share what I've came up with. It'll be like one huge spoiler but probably not so many people would read this anyway. And just any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Here goes nothing!
The world isn't real.
It's not event complete.
But you don't know about this. Other people don't seem to notice either. They just live their normal lifes, mostly undisturbed by any strange phenomenon. Despite being in a moderately large town it's preety quiet and calm. You don't think it's odd, the town always's been like this but sometimes you wonder why everything is so big and how certaing things can work or happening. Maybe according to scientists you're just too poor educated to understand this, after all you're just a student, and that's just how it is. You're just weird, though, so it doesn't really matter what you think. Even if you're almost sure aurora isn't completely at their right place at your latitude and cliones weren't supposed to fly. But they're kinda beautiful so maybe they were? It's not like you know anything about them, your speciality isn't advanced biology or whatever teaches things like this. Yeah, you know surprisingly little. But you've always been like this. Just worthless. And you can't change this fact no matter how hard you try. Ah, sorry, how hard you pretend to try. But don't worry, maybe it's not entirely your fault, maybe you were dropped and hit your head when you were small, who knows. Just vanish, already, okay? I'll lend you a hand, if you want.

...And I accidentaly changed the topic. But that clearly shows what it'll be sometimes. And it's not the darkest [...is it even slightly dark, though?] moment. Who said parody just must be funny. When I think about it probably only used tropes will be parodied... I suppose I just can't make a complete shit on purpose.
But let's get back to our dear fake world. What does it even mean? I'm not really sure. Well, the concept is - we're in the town and we don't have a reason to leave it so when we go far enough we just come to where we started. Place without a way out. Place where weird things happen but we, just like everyone else, don't realise this. Because it's normal. Why wouldn't it? We're the weird one. But not so much. At least not much enough to entirely understand this before the true end. But we'll be receiving clues from different routes. The problem is - what kind of fake world is this? I consider a) heroine is in a coma so in the true end she wakes up, b) she did something [like killing her parents or so] and is just deceiving herself, shutted in her fake world or maybe more fantasy/sci-fi version c) where the town was created by someone [as an experiment? because of someone's wish?] or something and at the very end she could escape from there. In version c dateable characters [and maybe some of the NPCs] would also have their reasons to be there and probably some way or another abandon the fake world. These options differ much so without being certain what is the best choice I can't really proceed with writing. My favourite is compilation of b and c, tho.
Btw our story would probably happen [or just begin] at early spring.
And they don't have uniforms at school.
...Aaand it's probably for the best if I drop the Idea with Japanese honorifics. It's weird and don't really necessary for the story. I just wanted to add this but well... I was stupid.
My english is pretty horrible c: Honest Critique

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